Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy (Remastered 2022 ​😎​)

[nivereno]

Well if you want to improve stuff you just gotta do it, furthermore since all sorts of wonderlandy skills depend on imagination rather then some straightforward action the best way to improve overall is doing alot of different stuff rather then focusing on one thing, its all kind of the same skill just looks different and makes different sense. By the way if you still have a hard time narrating look at how some youtube let's players and twitch streamers do their thing and try utilising that style of talk, atleast to me that was ussefull, althou i was already kind of using it a bunch before tulpa's.

[Guest]

Not entirely sure how to practice on things I can't do. I've always kinda just assumed that if I can get to the point where I can see a decent image with no flickering, decent detail, and all of that, other things will just follow. So I'm gonna stick to that belief, because there's really no way I can practice things I'm not capable of at the moment.

 

More anecdotes, but how about Fallout 4, eh? Pretty nifty looking. Of course, I own none of the, now-current-gen, consoles it's coming out for. So that sucks. I probably play New Vegas for at least thirty to forty hours a week, which is kinda sad, yeah? Still, I'm unbelievably hyped for it. It's what's keeping me alive, now, it's what's motivating me to find a job. I figure we can look at a March release for next year at about the earliest, so that gives me time to either save up for a decently spec'd computer, or, at the last minute if I must, bail and get a ps4 or something. Though a computer would be highly ideal.. Job sucks, though. I've been trying to get ahold of a friend whose family owns the Crystal Mine down the road for a while, to ask if they have any positions, and as it turns out he's had other people take the positions I could have absolutely realistically taken if he'd just fucking CHECKED HIS GODDAMNED MESSAGES THE PIECE OF FUCK I NEED A JOB AHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 

Tuppering is good. I've narrated some today, which is good. Not ideal. I've considered things like the lets-play idea or whatever, but it doesn't work for me. I don't know much about the format, and I don't think I could ever constantly talk about what I'm doing, which makes narration tough. I like having actual thoughts, and narrating those, but I feel kinda.. Idunno why, but I feel kinda shitty when I'm just narrating anything and everything. Idunno what's up, but yeah. So yeah, I don't think I'll ever become proficient at that. Just gotta wait it out until she speaks, right? I think it'll get easier then..

[nivereno]

Inb4 my pc sux too much to run Fallout4 and i can't upgrade 'till it comes out, that would make me rage my ass off before proceeding to steal some friends pc XD

[Guest]

Haven't been doing any active anything in a few days, so should get on that.

 

Narrating is starting to get to me. I don't know why it's been so difficult lately. Like, the emphasis in a lot of the guides is to narrate, and that that's the most important thing, and I feel like I'm not making any progress because I don't narrate much. I don't get how people can say it's easy, and that people who find it difficult are just complicating things. Talk about everything? Fuck no I can't do that. I can't even talk about the things I'm knowledgeable about for more than thirty or so seconds. What's there to talk about? I can summarize most things I give a damn about in that time. Egh. Bad at storytelling too. Idunno.

 

I just really want it all to work. I really hope it does, because I have no clue. Not really any way to check it either, eh?

 

Blegh, obligatory venting post over, I'll report with something tonight, hopefully. Probably just more visual stuff, another thirty minutes or so.

[TwoNotOne]

You like videogames, right? You should try narrating to her while playing something! Whatever personality traits you're trying to give her, ask her, "What would you do in this situation?" then try to do what you think she would do. It will definitely take longer to play, but it helps! Idk about narrating, but as passive forcing it's good for us :p

 

I'm not exactly too experienced (lol!), but it just takes time time time. Half a day every day or more and more. Thirty minutes is too short! Good luck!

[Guest]

Well, a while back, I was getting a ton of narration out of New Vegas, which I still play more than I sleep, but it's hard not to get totally sucked in lately, for some reason. Probably because I've started playing with the HUD off, and do nothing but ironman runs anymore. My fault, but I can't stomach another run of vanilla.

 

Also, I'll probably never do more than thirty minutes of visuals at a time. Way too hard to get into them.

 

That being said.. Interesting night. It started out about as well as it always does. Sat down, Peachy is in front of me, give her some feels, and I quickly become unsure of what to do. Couple minutes pass, and I decide "Why not?" And have her lay on her stomach. Tupper massage. That doesn't last long though, because once I got to the foot, just giving the general pre-massage feeling up, I decide to tickle her foot and it kicks? Not the weirdest, I figure she's sentient enough, and still regard nods with some level of credibility, but then I decide to go for her sides, and she totally scrambled up really quick. Like, from on her stomach to on her butt three feet away from me in half a second. That was kinda funny.

 

And then, well, she moved around a bit more. Aaand more. I don't know what it was, or if it's just one of those nights where I'm seeing things that aren't happening, but yeah. And with that said, the visuals themselves weren't anything special, they're as the always are, but it was kind of just knowing what was happening, yeah? Anyway, back in our little void area, and, wouldn't you know it, she grabs my hand and takes off. Next thing I know, I'm in this yellow-gold foyer, and everything is way too blurry to really see, but Peaches looks enthusiastic so why not, on through. Next is a dining area, I think. Pretty sure I'd seen it somewhere before, but I guess that happens. Then she takes me up this staircase into a room, and she motions her arm as if saying "Ta-da! Behold!"

 

But I can't see anything, so I just ask her what I'm supposed to be looking at a few times, and she does her arms like that again. Whatever it was, she was pretty excited about it, so I guess that was cool to see. I couldn't take much more of the weird colors and blurriness though, so I took us back to this room we've been using lately. She seemed a bit disappointed, but what can ya do.

 

Antics kept up in there for a while, but eventually it all got a bit too spastic, or whatever for me, so I, aha, kinda threatened her with stopping early if she wouldn't calm down. I wasn't expecting much, but my head cleared up a bit, and she like.. Put her hands partially over her face and gave me this sorry look. I felt bad, but it was also a convincing reaction, so it's for the best, I think.

 

Not much else to report. Maybe it'll be the same tomorrow night, maybe it'll be back to the near-lifeless body. Who knows? Not like I ever come into this expecting consistency.

[Guest]

Tonight wasn't very good at all. I think she was moving around and all, same as last night, but ten or so minutes in we started getting repetitive motions, and I can't stop them. I hope they don't become ingrained like the nodding and also shaking the head right after another, otherwise I'll have to stop visualizing for a while. I can't get past them.

 

Sucks for Peaches, but there's not anything I can do about it.

 

Edit: General thoughts time, don't wanna bump the thread again.

 

So despite the positive couple days I've been having, I don't think I'm any closer to vocality. Honestly, it still seems 100% unattainable. I don't even know where to begin. How to listen, how to communicate with Peachy to see if she's working on it. I can ask her, and maybe she'll nod that she is, but I can't be too reliant on those, can I? Like the tingling feelings I'll get when narrating to her, every so often. I'll get them after questions, statements, and etc., but when I ask if it's her doing the tingling, nothing. I assume it is, because it doesn't really happen out of forcing, but then something like that happens and I start to doubt it.

 

Sigh, and the nodding. I can't see her clearly for one, but like I mentioned above, once I start becoming complacent with her head movements, she'll start doing this thing where she nods, and also shakes her head. She knows how to shrug, I know that for a fact, so it's not indecision or anything. But after it happens once, it starts happening every time. There just isn't a reliable way of checking whether or not she's paying attention, or sentient, or whatever. Trying not to discount last night, but I start to dwell on things, and see what's happened that makes me believe, as average things, or things that I whipped up in desperation.

 

Agh, this whole thing is maddening. Tulpas, forcing, other users' experiences.

 

Tonight's repetitive motion was like.. I was asking her something, sitting across from her, and when she'd lean in for what seemed like a nod, she would actually like.. Lean forward, and stand up. Then walk over to me. She'd sit back down, I'd ask a question again, nod into a lean, stand herself up, sit back down. Over and over again.

 

How am I supposed to rationalize that with sentience? Ugh. What do I have to do to make her speak? You know, aside from parroting, anyway. Will never, ever, ever parrot again

 

There has to be something I'm missing. I spend enough time thinking about her, though I guess I could narrate more.. Dunno, that just falls back to not knowing how to say anything. There are some people who can hold conversations for hours on their own. Not that kinda person, I guess. Sigh.

 

Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week, next month. Something has to happen eventually, right? Please let something happen. I can't keep doing this, but I will. We've learned that I can't quit, so it'll just keep going on and on. I wish it wouldn't, or that we could come to the ending I've been hoping for for years, now. Sigh. Improvement, vocality, something.

 

Egh. Well, again. Maybe soon.

[Guest]

I haven't done anything in three nights despite intending to last night, so I just need to make note that I will work on visuals a bit. For myself, that is. I'm hoping my head has had time to kinda reset and flush the repetitive motions out so I can enjoy it again. Maybe even go for longer than thirty minutes? Hmm.

 

I also intend to start reading to her again. The book in question? Anthropology again, ahaha. I still re-read it a lot for some reason, and I think the more I do it, the less I get into it despite still enjoying myself, so it'll be perfect for narrating. It was mildly alright last time. I wanna emphasize on visuals more than anything this time, though. I'll pick up on that tonight or tomorrow, we'll see

 

I'd also briefly like to touch up on the fact that I don't doubt tulpas, or the process itself, but still doubt mine. For some reason. It's stupid, and ass-backwards, but it's true. I've met too many convincing people to doubt it, but I constantly doubt mine. I wish there were some better way to tell than a leap of faith that you never really hit the bottom of. I suck at having faith in things.

[Guest]

In an entirely unsurprising turn of events, tonight sucked. It started okay, then I got those movements again. So, I tied Peachy to a chair, so she couldn't actually sit up when I saw nods. That was fine for a while, but as the session went on, it just became more and more difficult to see anything, to the point where I was completely booted from the mind's eye. So, I just narrated for a bit.

 

Did the usual things. Complained. Begged for vocality. Talked about how there was nothing interesting to talk about. I don't even think I think in sentences, guys. Do you guys? When I start thinking about something, I just have an understanding of what it is I'm contemplating, and an understanding or the words that embody it. So when I'm narrating in fuckin sentences, everything feels sluggish, and unproductive. I'm not trained to think in individual words, or words in general, I don't think.

 

I did tonight, despite how much trouble it's caused me in the past, parrot. Just a few back-and-forths, and then I started narrating what I could in her voice. Once I cut it out though, that was that. Sigh. I don't think she's sentient, guys. I'm just really eager and willing to take any intrusive/eager thought as possible sentience.

 

N'yegh

[nivereno]

By the way, it's not like forcing has to be in sentancesm you can raw thoughts at your tulpa/throw images at your tulpa/whatever else/or a mix of everything.