Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy (Remastered 2022 ​😎​)

[Guest]

Visuals are definitely getting worse. Have no clue what's up with that, but it's definitely hindering the only thing I can really do for extended periods of time, which is, yeah, just general interacting. Still narrating when I can, and trying to get a feel for her locationally in real space, but neither of those are getting very far either. But then, only been.. Idunno, some amount of days. Week at most, I'm not sure. I suck at keeping time.

 

I'll keep at it. Hopefully have something more interesting happen tonight.

 

Edit: I just hit that soul-crushingly depressed stage of my tuppering cycle, so that could last anywhere from a few hours, to a month. I'll still try to get work done, but won't make any promises, for a while.

 

Sigh. Just not sure what to do. Just keep talking? Keep trying? Doesn't ever feel like I'm any closer to.. Anything. Consistently enjoying this, having a voice that goes off in my head. Even with the the movements, like I think I said, they're not exactly anything to write home about. Still something my head's probably just filling in on the spot, with no consistency. Still keep at that, though, hope it gets better.

 

Idunno. Just feels like I'm wasting my time. I hope I'm not. Still wanna accomplish something. I've always gotten pissy about new kids showing up, and having tuppers in a day, or spiteful that pretty much anyone took less than a couple months to vocality. Now I just feel really inadequate, and unmotivated. People that only joined three or four months ago are doing incredible, and that's great for them, but leaves me wishing I knew exactly what I had to do. Other than just, you know, keep trying. Wish I could visualize better, or better tell if it's actually a tupper communicating with me, or what. Which I guess it isn't, even now? I don't know.

 

Update later, I guess.

[Guest]

Have done a small bit. Feeling better than I was, whenever it is that I made the last post, but only a bit. Still not too enthused about the future, sadly. Guess my only hope is that some day, this place dies out, and I don't have anything left to remind me of tuppers or something.

 

But as it stands, Peachy-face has been moody, as best as I can tell. And bored. I don't blame her. I tell her to figure something out to do, and just find her sitting upside-down on the same spot of the couch as usual, or scowling out of a window. I'm not exactly teeming with creativity myself, so hell if i know what she could do while I'm out. I'm not sure it'll matter, anyway. She could have tons, and my head would probably just set her on that same spot on the couch, with that same scowl, because who knows?

 

I need to figure out a wonderland that doesn't suck, but there isn't a single environment on the planet I find particularly interesting enough to visualize, at least enough to be engaging. Would tell her to take the reigns, but I'm fairly certain she's not capable. And what she does supposedly make, I can't see at all, so that doesn't help us at all, huh.

 

Dunno. I've been doing RP stuff a lot again, so that's keeping me fairly occupied. I pretty much do it until I'm asleep, and then pick up once I wake up, until I need to do something out in reality. It's a great time-waster, though I don't suppose it's been helping out with my poor sleep.

 

I'll figure it out some day. Tuppers, as well. Or, one you guys can just hurry up and get rich so we can actually do extensive study and try to get creation down to a science, so I actually know what to do past "Whatever the hell you want", which is still dumb. Or, you can hurry on and make tuppers in pill-form. Either or.

 

Edit: I wound up doing light wonderland stuffs before passing out. Don't have a time on it, but it was aight.

[Guest]

Decided to be lazy for a while, and see if Peaches could maybe butt in during my scheduled RP visuals, or at literally any other time of the day where I'm thinking about, and visualizing things, but after a week or so, I figure she's not capable of that, so mehhh.

 

I'm out of the depressive stage in my forcing, and into the totally apathetic one, but I should probably not let that get in the way, so whatever, I'll start back up with things tonight, maybe. I've been getting some pretty intense discomfort in the back of my throat the past two days however, so if that doesn't let up, I'll look into it and probably skip tonight as well, and on until it clears up.

 

Also, have been paying attention to Dracky's progress since he decided to start using JD's method, so despite my major, major apprehension when it comes to parroting, if that works out for him after a while, might as well, what do I have to lose?

 

At that, though, I feel like Peaches is some kind of guinea-pig that I'm always doing something different with, and do wonder as to whether or not it has any effects on her? Who knows? If that's how she feels, I guess she'll have to suck it up until she can tell me. One method, or work-ethic from start to finish probably would have been ideal, but shit happens.

 

I'd still really like an emotional response one of these days, as an aside. Not sure how to identify one, though. I'm prone to consciously, and abruptly change my disposition towards life, and about everything in general, so I'd probably chalk it off to that tendency. Egh.

 

Ah well, report tonight.

[Guest]

I definitely didn't do anything after that last post.

 

But, why not, threw myself back into it earlier and came out with thirty minutes of very mediocre visuals. More tomorrow night, unless something comes over me and I decide not to. We'll see.

 

I wonder what it'd honestly take to have a tupper before the next year is out? Probably faith. In that case, I intend to be .info's most senior, and constant failure over the next several years.

 

Edit: Oh fuck, happy three weeks online! Nothing yet achieved. Lovely.

 

Sorry, I'm in a downer mood tonight :'l

[Guest]

Yeah, was still feeling too trashy to do anything after the last update, there.

 

Kinda biggish news, though. Good and bad news, also, I guess?

 

Decided to take up Fede's method. Unbiased by past experiences, and unashamedly. I've just never felt like any conventional means of forcing have ever gotten me anywhere. Despite any amount of quantity, or quality I'll experience with the odd session, I never see enough to really feel like what I'm doing is correct. We're told to take what we can from guides, and do what feels right for us, but I've never done anything that's felt right. I've never even understood how people can feel right. Doing whatever it is they're doing. Narrating, visualizing, any number of other things. Maybe if I'd experienced what's generally considered to be head-pressures, or emotions, I'd have felt more confident, but nah, man. Two years is waaay too long not to give something drastically different an earnest attempt.

 

And well, the good news is that I'm enjoying myself. I've been at it for over a day, and I've enjoyed all of the narrating. I don't feel pressured to work, I just do it whenever I feel like a bit of conversation on something. I also decided to keep using the human form I've been at for the past while. I've made a bit of progress with it, despite my constant moaning, and I don't feel like making another goddamn form. I suck at it. Buut, my wording, of deciding to continue to using the form leads me into the baddish.

 

It's not Peachy. Not because I don't want it to be, just, I don't know how to work something like that into conversation. I don't know how to parrot, and rationalize that it's the same tupper when I'm aware of my parroting. Despite enjoying the conversation so far, sure, I'm not into it enough yet for totally articulate and thought-out discussion. I still need to get the frame of mind, personality, and the voice, even, figured out, which will probably take a good while. I have vague ideas of everything Fede's guide recommends knowing about your tupper beforehand, some aspects more flushed out than others I guess, and am trying to figure out, and commit to memory, the rest of it as I go along.

 

Oh yeah, name. Well, I guess since it's not Peachy, given the form, Ruby or something is fine. I might decide in something else, later, I always feel autistic enough for using characters from media I like without using their original names and personalities to make myself feel even more pathetic.

 

Aspects of the guide I'm going for are pretty much just things related explicitly to tuppers, right now. Which is mostly figuring out everything, putting myself in her shoes, and parroting. Belief implanting makes me feel gay as shit, and Eye-Bo doesn't work for me whatsoever, so I'll be avoiding those.

 

At any rate, yeah. Not fond of Fede himself in the least, but he's smart, and no matter how many times I've shot his suggesting me take things from his guide down in the past, it's not a bad guide. Just wasn't looking to do what it did for you. Am now, though. Update whenever I feel like it, I guess.

[Guest]

Well, another day into Fede's method and I'm inclined to admit that I'm still getting more mileage and enjoyment out of it than anything else. So yeah, you win this one, Fede. Faggot.

 

It's all been casual conversation, and I have yet to actually delve into any serious exploration of Tupper's personality, but the more I say, and commit the memory, the easier varied and articulate conversation is the next time I have something to say. And at that, I've spent a decent amount talking with her. It's interesting, I guess. My past issues with parroting were awful, likely because of the major taboo and denial I was placing on it. I left it as a short, unintelligible thing because I was too worried about how wrong it was in comparison with what I wanted.

 

Now, yeah, I'm parroting, but.. It doesn't really feel like such an awful thing, I guess? Since I'm not caught up on the worry, I'm not really caught up on anything. It's just something I'm doing, and adding a little bit of dynamic to as I go along.

 

At that, it's going well. I'm not thinking about it quite as much at certain points, though it's definitely not habitual. Consistency is taking work, and the sound of the voice is definitely going to take work. I've been working on getting a presence in reality solidified, and have done next to nothing in wonderland. Proportions are weird so far, as is most everything about it, but I'm getting it down. I'll give a month or two, if I can keep this up, before it really starts feeling habitual for me, any of it. I can't get myself to work constantly like I probably should, though I'm taking off from whatever it is I'm doing to speak with her a lot more than I thought I would.

 

So yeah, hell. The going is good, so far. Regret not giving this an earnest attempt earlier, so I'll admit to my fuck-up there.

 

Today gets an 8. I like that instead of taking the time to work on it for a while at night, it's just frequently throughout the day, now. Looking forward to the next while, and here's to hoping I stick with it.

[Guest]

I've been in a slump of very poor sleep, so things to update with have been nonexistent. Pretty much fifteen to sixteen hours out of a day spent sleeping, and the rest spent feeling like death. Feeling it today, though. Gonna grab a shower, clean the room up, and talk to tupper.

 

At that, I've still had at least a minimal amount of interaction. Both personality (what I have of it) and voice are getting ever so slightly easier to bring up. It's not super exciting lately, but I'll pin that on the poor frame of mind.

 

I'm actually considering asking questions about things, and marking down traits based on answers. I'm parroting, but even so, there's still like.. There's still a bit of rhyme and reason to what she's saying past what I'm thinking. It's getting more and more intelligent and distinguished, definitely. I wasn't sure I actually bought into it the many times I read into parroting, but I think I'm really starting to understand it. Of course, I think it's still more an exception to the rule, but it's better nonetheless. Still plenty of parroty responses, but yeah, definite improvement.

 

I'd definitely recommend giving it a shot, to anyone who has trouble with traditional means of tupperwork. Is the end-result the same? Who knows? I'll keep that question in mind as things progress, though. I'll still put money on many 'mancers with quick results parroting, so at the very least, I'll assume parroting will get you the results they're getting, and they seem pretty enthusiastic. At best, yeah, standard and undeniable tupper.

 

Again, will see. More work as the day progresses, and an update tonight (hopefully).

[sushi]

Seems like it should work pretty well. I've done tsomething like that with novel characters.

[Guest]

So I didn't do much past conversing last night, no developments in the way of dissociation, but this morning I've actually finally decided to take to personality, aand.. It's going pretty well. Enjoyably well, even. So well that I'm feeling that weight in my head for the first time since Miriam, back when I was actually semi-serious about her. Can't remember how much I got in with Peaches early-game (trying to subtly weave her in, here. Can't just abandon her, after all), but it was with Miriam, that feeling was most distinct in my mind. And yeah, I'm getting it again. It's not a bad feeling.

 

I sat down and kinda went back-and-forth about them for a while, but eventually, I decided that since parroting is a thing now, I might as well just go all the way, and had her explain the traits to me, and what they meant for her. Aside from getting some of the first real work in on lengthy responses, it's helping with the voice, and actually having that trait explained by the person it's tethered to is definitely helping with my understanding of both the trait, and the character. Also opening up examples and explanations I hadn't thought of before, though I'm not sure why.

 

Either way, going is good. I still don't feel as inclined as I should to just strike up conversation in the day, or maintain what I do, but regardless, it's getting easier. I'll continue to work on lengthy conversation as I continue to hammer in the traits and other aspects.

 

I do, however, still need to let go of the unease I get when a response isn't so quick that I don't think about it. Second-guessing, and regret don't have their place in what I'm doing now, so I need to figure out how to really let go of those last reservations, and accept that it'll feel better in time.

[Guest]

Fuck it, it's almost been eight months, I've got a well-paying, weekly-paying job, finally bought a keyboard, am learning it steadily, I'm moving out in the next couple weeks, and life is all-around great.

 

It's time to open the gates and fucking destroy this shit.

 

Tupper bio

 

Name: Null

 

Gender: Female

 

And absolutely nothing else as of right now. Maybe a form in mind, maybe not. Name is subject to change too? I just know that I still want a chick friend, because yeah, still none of those irl. Romantics are 180% not in the picture, just, yeah, I've got like ten guy-friends. Something new.

 

Oh, maybe Feldt Grace from Gundam 00?

 

No, Null for now. I'll worry about the other stuff once I have a baseline established and preconceptions can't fuck wid it.

 

 

The story so far

 

So like, I've actually been doing a bit on and off for about a month, feeling wary of everything and not really showing any optimism, but Gods damn-it, that ends today. I just spent fifty dollars on incense and scented oil (And a burner), and I didn't have to explain myself to anyone. I'm in charge, now. Emotions be fucked, I'm gonna do it.

 

I narrated for two hours during work today (yesterday).

 

It was super hard

 

Expect nightly updates at worst.