Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy (Remastered 2022 ​😎​)

[Guest]

Even still, it seems to be getting easier

 

I'm spending time in the wonderland and talking to Null, and every while I'll be like "well that kinda felt like me", but it's usually being followed by "Who cares, I'm actually enjoying my time here, and feel like I'm making progress" or whatever. So that's good. Just keep goooiiing.

 

Although, Null is a bit hard to see, lately. Not sure what's up with that. Wonderland still seems alright, but yeah, not her. Just a minor thing, whatever.

 

What I do need to not stress, though, is asking questions. Once I started asking Peachy questions, and saw that her responses were nowhere near consistent, is probably when I started getting really doubtful of my progress. But at the same time, I guess avoiding it entirely this time is just acknowledgement of my fear, and doubt, huh?

 

I'll try to get over it as soon as possible. Ha, not that I even have anything to ask her, whatever the case. Not past "Are you doing alright?", and "What's up?", anyway.

[Stevie]

So anyway, as far as I can tell, Null seems pretty apathetic. Which is kind of funny, as I'm not sure what else I was expecting. A tupper who's super enthused and wants to run around and frolic, maybe? I see a lot of that, plenty of excited tuppers around. But no, she seems to do a lot of sitting around, either down on the beach while we're there, or in the living room, just vaguely paying attention to what I'm saying, and nodding occasionally or something.

 

Sounds a lot like what goes on with me and Chris.

 

Anyway man glad to see that you're making progress and getting responses that you can have faith in. You've definitely had an interesting road but I think in the end you're gonna have a foundation that a lot of people starting this don't, you know? I think a big hurdle when it comes to forcing that isn't often talked about is like, learning to enjoy what you're doing when it comes to wonderland shenanigans.

 

I'm not saying it's a necessary step or anything, but there's definitely a difference when forcing feels like a chore to reach a greater end and when it becomes something cool in and of itself.

 

Yeah man, as always, props brah.

[Guest]

Thanks, yo

 

I probably do need to update anyway, egh

 

It's going well. I'm not putting in as much time as I should be, mostly just too busy geeking out over a lot of my new gear, but still I'm narrating at work, and trying to bring active to the front of my mind at home. I need to find some kind of media I can binge that's like, I'm interested enough to talk about it, but not so interested that I can't focus on Null. Maybe some game I have, will give me that. I'll look around eventually. I mean, I've had the thought countless times in the past, I just need to actually find something, this time.

 

I sadly only really spend five to ten minutes in the wonderland before bed, and by that point, for whatever reason, my mind is really fighting me, so pretty low quality on that front. On the upside, even despite not visualizing at all times I'm narrating, my mind is coming to terms with Null, I think. Each time I do see her, regardless of how she's acting, be it enthusiastic or unconcerned (A bit of both, sometimes. Maybe I should actually go over personality with her, just so we can get a bit of consistency. Or maybe I should let her do what she wants?), my first thought is usually something involving what she's done, and any skepticism I might have comes long after that point.

 

Hell, I might have even heard her say something a couple times. I'm not sure. Moving forward into speech is still scary for me, so I'm not gonna press it just yet, just, something that may or may not be around the corner.

 

Fun fun fun

[jean-luc]

A mass of pinkie pie clones rounds the corner.

 

FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!

[timethief]

Amazing dude, keep making progress like that. Slow but steady and all that.

 

I don't spend much time in the wonderland if at all. Maybe 1 minute a week, so your record there is much better.

 

Keep on going and you'll make it.

 

FUN FUN FUN

[Guest]

Okay, yeah, definitely some words flying around. I can't tell you what they've been because I can't remember them, but maybe that's for the best, because I'm still trying to ease myself into it.

 

Whatever the case, three day weekend, and I definitely plan on spending some of the next few nights figuring this shit out. I'm fucking terrified, honestly. I really, really don't wanna throw myself into it and start noticing weirdness in what she's saying/motioning, and then get uber doubty, so I'll have to figure something out.

 

On the upside, and to beat the doubt the fuck down, leave you evil sheeeit, I'm actually noticing, and separating what seems to be my own puppeting, and her movements. I think? My stuff is sporadic and cartoony, I think, and I feel like Null's actions are slow and reluctant (Seems to be lining up with the way I initially pegged her), or at least that she's not in a hurry to do anything.

 

But like

 

Maybe I'm just doing both, yeah? And no, I'm not doubting anything, just musing, but maybe it's a bit of me with both, and my perceiving her as the calm Null is reaffirmed by my own, unknowing puppeting of a more energetic and move-ey Null, which I can use to throw myself off of the trail of the former? Or something? Are you, the readers, picking up what I'm putting down? There's probably a better way of wording it.

 

Yeah, either way, could be me in all regards, but if so, I've gotta applaud myself on convincingly throwing together this conflict to steel my resolve

 

And now I just sound silly.

 

Null likes hand gestures. I'm not sure what she does on that phone, but it's more important than looking at me when I tell her things, so she likes to throw up signs.

 

Apparently.

[jean-luc]

Wait, Null has a phone?

[Guest]

Wait, Null has a phone?

 

Ha, okay, doubt is fleeting now that I think of it, but the other day, I stepped into the living room of our house thing, and she seemed to be playing Galaga on a phone? I asked why she even had one, and what she could even do on it, and, yeah, Galaga, apparently. I'm sure as fuck not a Galaga nut, so I'll give that one to her, definitely.

 

 

Still not totally certain why, but I'm just gonna roll with it for now.

[Guest]

Updaaaate

 

Nothing much, just some random thoughts and events

 

This whole ambivalent thing is difficult. I can't tell if Null just doesn't give a fuck about literally anything enough to react in one way or another, or if I'm too caught up on it, which is keeping her in that state. Either way, I'm trying to open her up to being slightly more animated, assigning a bit of flare to her, without going so far as to cause me to worry about her legitimacy or whatever

 

It's a bit of a fine line, so far. Still scared of everything falling apart, but I'm doing my best to beat it. Her actions as a whole do feel like me more than someone else, but I guess that's just a part of it or whatever, and there are still those moments that don't feel like me at all, which are great, and helping tons.

 

So far I've been playing a lot of games while attempting to bring them into the wonderland, so to speak. Big tv, Null is on the other side of the couch doing her thing, maybe paying attention, it's great. It's helping bring passive home, as opposed to it all being done at work.

 

I've been working a tiny bit on active touch, too. Just, having her sit adjacent to me, feel her arms, legs, back, etc. Keeping it safe for work, no issues with awful thoughts, thankfully. As well as getting a feel for her, I've also kind of been imagining the feeling from her perspective? Which I imagine will help in the long run. It's weird to describe, but as I feel, for instance, her leg, I imagine how it feels to be touched in the same spot or whatever. With pretty great accuracy, I think.

 

Yeah, idunno. Just doing what I can. It feels like it's only getting tougher, which sucks, but hopefully that'll pass.

 

I really, really hope so.

[Guest]

More words

 

I'm kinda just like, hearing them, and being like "Ha, yeah." and not really processing it at all. Of course, there are still those little feelings of "Okay that definitely felt like parroting" which are oh-so familiar to me by now, buuuut then they've been contrasted by some genuinely unexpected things, which is nice.

 

I'll also plainly acknowledge my history with intrusive thoughts, so if it feels bad, I'm usually just not thinking too much about it or whatever. Will hopefully become more natural as I come out of my blatant denial that anything major is happening.

 

Also trying to piece together the wonderland. Most, or all, really, shenanigans occur in the living room or down at the Beach, and there's actually a second story that I haven't used at fucking all, so I figured I'd make Null a bedroom or whatever so she doesn't have to sleep on the couch assuming she sleeps at all--- uhhhh she says she sleeps when I sleep with great gesturing as well as words, okay, mentally shutting down now

 

 

It's been time since I wrote that last part, ready to finish this

 

Yeah, anyway, I figure I can tuck her in and give her goodnight kisses (yes good) and then pass out myself without feeling bad because she's sleeping on a couch or whatever. So that's cool. I also need to do something interesting to the outdoors-area. The beach is a bit more than a stone's throw away (Maybe like, two stones if you have a really strong arm), and there's a lot of.. I don't know, plain or whatever from the house to there, so I might throw something in over there. I don't know.

 

I've also been using one form relatively consistently now, so I guess that's that. Maybe 5'7, mid-neckish-length black hair, dark eyes, not too much else. I could probably find a lookalike if I looked long enough, but I don't feel like it. It's subject to change, but consistency is valued over anything right now I guess.

 

Visuals are sitting at an alrightishhhhh Idunno, 2.5-3/10? Maybe better, I'm not sure. I don't know if they're improving, because there are still moments where I can't see anything, but yeah, I can see is the main thing.

 

 

Okay last thing for now. I need to find a way to harness fever-dream visuals to do tuppering. I've found that if I go to sleep before my internal clock is ready for sleep, I'm set for fever-dreams until it's time to get up for work. Which basically means that half of my brain is going on autopilot with some topical hell-scape (Something to do with nutritional intake, this time), and the other half is wishing it would stop and trying to tupper. Of course, I can just end it all by getting out of bed and getting my mind set on something else, but there's no fun in that.

 

Yeah, that's it for now, later yo