Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy (Remastered 2022 ​😎​)

[Guest]

Coincidentally, I actually have been exercising, and yes, doing pushups daily (or every other day when my arms are wrecking me), and there's actual improvement. A week or two ago, I could barely do a pathetic four or five, and I struggled immensely on each one. On a few days, and I could do ten!.. But still struggled. I think the day before last I did like, thirteen? But I had no problem getting close to the floor, and bringing myself back up, which was a first, and kinda exciting.

 

I mean, thirteen is still pathetic for most people, but hell, at least I can see the improvement.

 

Visuals are weird as hell, though. I visualize throughout the day without even thinking about it, right? Everyone does, and it's pretty decent for me. I visualize when I read, generally (Not much, but a bit-- I'm better at hearing the character's voices. Which is probably ironic), and with my RP things. But man, I can sit down every night for two weeks and try to visualize for a bit, and there's absolutely no improvement. Totally random as to whether or not they'll be 'bearable', or the average 'shite'. There has to be something everyone else inherently "gets" about practicing visuals, but never says. Because I'm at a loss, and have no clue why I still give it time.

 

It's like how I don't "get" meditation. I was doing that every other day or so for a month, ten to fifteen minutes a day, when I started on Peachy. I just didn't understand what it was doing for me, and felt wasteful of time. Apparently, most members here, as well as their dogs, I'd wager, do get it, though, and benefit from it. Which leaves me considering the possibility that it's simply a pretentiousness thing, like everyone I've ever met who uses a Mac. Haha, "PC is for poor people, Mac is for pros who want their stuff to be working out of the box without five hours of work, and get things done". Direct quote.

 

Anyway, idunno, with meditation it's probably just me having known some people who are assholes about it. Prancing around, talking about how much it does for them, and talking about how it's soo incomprehensible that someone isn't getting enjoyment, or anything but negative vibes from it. "You're just doing it wrong, you're just expecting too much, you're just etc."

 

Am sitting down and focusing on breathing, or clearing my mind, am expecting the clarity of mind everyone else seems to go on about, etc.

 

Ah jeez, lemme bounce topics one more time.

 

It's like with tulpas.

 

Most people agree that anybody is (technically) capable of creating one, and that it's nigh impossible to fuck one up. Well, any time someone goes at it for a long time with no results (See: Slowpokes general), or any time someone does claim to have fucked up, it's a product of user negligence. Sorry, "a product of user negligence". Being that it isn't that it's impossible to make one for you, because hey, anyone can tupper! But that it's just going to take you longer, because hey, anyone can tupper! And anyone who reports issues in their subjective experience is over-thinking it, and just needs to do one simple thing such as politely ask their tupper to calm down (the average issue seems to be that they're crazy, or angry as piss, so just an example), or some such sheeit.

 

Idunno, just as I see it. Impossible to fail, and anyone can do it! But oh, those people who failed? That's because they quit, not because they weren't capable! Naturally. Yeah, I guess you can preach that this is the case, but I'd argue that when you're a few hundred hours in, like some of those sad people in Slowpokes were, and you don't have anything, it's safe to say you might not be capable. Given a few thousand hours? Maybe they could, but by that point, are you really so desperate that you need a Tupper that bad? Maybe thousands is what it takes for some. Maybe there's one guy who's predestined to think about and force his tupper for ten thousand before he's got it. Or maybe we just assign numbers to people who failed because they simply weren't capable so we don't have to adjust the "Anyone can do it!" mindset. "You failed? Nah, were just one of the slow ones." -Which doesn't work, coming from someone who succeeded. Everyone who failed, failed, which doesn't give us a basis on whether or not they were capable. They weren't. No way around that. You can tell yourself they would with more time, but you can't know, so..

 

I just think the mentality needs to die.

 

Idunno, I entertain the thought that some people just aren't all the time. I hope it's not the case, especially in my case, but when, like I said, the people who succeeded are the ones speaking for the failures, over the failures, it's hard not think about how it's kinda.. Weird, the mentality is.

 

I'm rambling again. What I'm getting at, because I should probably come full circle here, is that I don't "get" what everyone else seems to get, which probably isn't a good thing. I understand visuals as well as I can from what small amounts I've experienced, but when it comes to things like making them better, I don't "get" it. Just visualize and it gets better? My experiences say that isn't true, but I can't say that without getting told how wrong I am, and my experiences are, can I?

 

Sigh. Doesn't stop me from continuing to try, I guess. Just keep visualizing and it'll get better.. Haha, I'll be sure and drop in once I'm on my deathbed so I can let you all know how it went throughout my life.

 

 

So, rant wall aside, have narrated a lot this morning. That's cool.

[Guest]

Suppose I'll try to get back into the swing of updating daily, as per the last couple days.

 

Did a fair bit of passive today, I suppose. Well, I say passive, when I really mean narration. And by a lot, I mean I probably narrated as an aside while watching shit for maybe an hour total. Or around there. Still trying to do away with worrying about numbers, but I suppose it wasn't that impressive.

 

I'll never understand how some of you were able to set up your head so that you're near-constantly thinking about, and narrating, your tulpa. I simply don't have the mental capacity, as it seems, to devote the needed attention to whatever I'm doing to make it stick, if it's a movie or game, or to be effective, if I'm working at something, while I'm also trying to narrate.

 

Was just watching something, and when I'd comment to Peachy on whatever it is I had to comment on, I was about halfway zoned out of the show. And earlier, was watching the Game Grumps' Mario 64 play-through, and despite not needing to pay any attention to the game, seeing how familiar it is, and only needing to take in the mindless banter, I found myself rewinding almost every time I narrated something.

 

Like, I can speak to somebody in the room with me for hours without missing a beat, but as I've found, add any kind of forcing to the equation, it becomes three times as difficult, and about half as enjoyable.

 

Sadly.

 

What did you bastards do to keep it fun? Is there anything that doesn't involve, you know.. Communicating with them, or visualizing, or..?

 

Probably not. Sigh.

 

Anyway, trying to get back into it all, yeah. Will try to narrate when playing games, like I was doing a while back, and try to generally narrate other things. Will see how it goes. Sleep for now, I guess.

[sushi]

What did you bastards do to keep it fun?

 

I wish I knew.

 

I play Monsters Den: Book of Dread with Fenchurch, but that's getting to be less fun now because we've pretty much mastered the game. No other game seems to work as well for us.

 

I also find that it's easier to talk to her when I'm doing something mindless, like cleaning.

[Guest]

When I'm doing work, I find it even harder to Tupper, for some reason.

 

 

Anyway, still working, albeit at the bare minimum. I'll be out for a while tomorrow though, so I figured I'd post and say I'll do a bit of work while I'm in the car, which will be a couple hours of the trip. Saying I will makes it more likely, and all that.

 

Aside from that, not much to report. I should try to visualize look for nods and stuff again so that talking gets an upgrade from "This air is a really bad conversationalist" to "Why are you nodding AND shaking your head, after literally every statement I make, and question I ask?"

 

Report then, I guess

[Guest]

Oh yeah, sorry, late

 

Time was good. Didn't get as much in as I would have liked, as is the price to pay for trying to get things done when I'm in the car with two music nuts on the way to and from Guitar Center.

 

Still. Discouraging, that I'm so pathetic at putting time in. No use in excuses, my fault completely that I'm not enjoying all of this, and progressing. Peaches seems less and less real for each session I get in, either way, which is kinda unfortunate. I'll let her get more and more distant, to the point where I'm completely unconcerned again, then feel all guilty and such, and pledge to work more.

 

Dilemma as hell, yeah?

 

Mm, whatever. RP stuff is still at an all-time high, and it's honestly only getting more and mor in-depth. Which is weird. Like, for the past couple years, despite it all being good, it's been kinda stagnated in how.. Idunno, how much more realistic, and intelligent it's getting.

 

If only I could figure out how to translate one of the characters into a Tupper.

 

 

Actually

 

Huh

 

Okay, so I just realized that I've never done just that, created an imaginary friend, because I feel like it wouldn't amount to anything. I've always been so dissatisfied with the real world that I figured even if I brought out a character, it would still suck. Another bit is how disappointed I am with myself. You know how it is, with being someone a lot cooler, or self-confident in your imagination, yeah? I've just always felt like bringing whatever character into my real life would be too unbelievable to really invest in. Like, why would someone I find awesome, or admire, speak with me?

 

I wonder if that's translated into tuppermancy. Probably.. Sigh, that's kinda sobering, as well as depressing. I hadn't really thought about it before.

 

Meh. I'll sleep on it. Just doesn't make sense how all of the other total losers on here are able to do it, despite being worse than I am :'l

 

I kid. Still, yeah. Imaginary friends have always seemed like more of an uncomfortable reminder of how much of a loser I am, or would be if I had one. I don't think I've ever viewed tulpas in that way, but.. Fuck, man. I always say tuppering is weird, yeah?

[Dracky]

Yeah, I've had the depressing thought before that if [insert Character I Really Like] existed in real life, they'd probably think I was boring at best, or annoying at worst.

 

I think that's one of the major hurdles I have with this whole thing: I always find myself wondering how seemingly everyone on here has a tulpa that loves them (platonically or otherwise), and I wonder how you never hear about people with tulpas that just sort of tolerate them because they don't want to get unmade. Occasionally you hear about people who have tulpas that hate them, but that usually either goes into Creepypasta Land and nobody believes it, or everyone just says "No, no, no, that happened because you did *whatever* wrong..."

 

Bleh. Maybe I'm just too much of a negative nancy for this.

[Stevie]

I think that's one of the major hurdles I have with this whole thing: I always find myself wondering how seemingly everyone on here has a tulpa that loves them (platonically or otherwise), and I wonder how you never hear about people with tulpas that just sort of tolerate them because they don't want to get unmade. Occasionally you hear about people who have tulpas that hate them, but that usually either goes into Creepypasta Land and nobody believes it, or everyone just says "No, no, no, that happened because you did *whatever* wrong..."

 

Damn sorry Enny gonna shit up your thread right quick.

 

Consider the fact that most people's goals on this site are "to create an autonomous, benevolent head being" under the broadest terms possible. The benevolent part is considered a part of the framework of success. What you (and others) have said about people telling other people that they did something wrong when they can't (for whatever reason) make a tulpa applies here. If benevolence is just part of success, then of course people are going to give that aspect of their relationship a lot of airtime.

 

The whole idea of tulpas hating their hosts can be linked back to like, sensationalism, almost. It's going to get reported because it's interesting. There's something compelling about trainwrecks, pretty much.

 

So with that down... where does that leave people who have just tolerant or neutral relationships with their tulpa? It leaves them between two extremes, one of which is considered a baseline norm. People are going to be ashamed to report it because it indicates that they did something wrong, and it's not an attention-grabbing hot button issue like a tulpa downright hating a host is.

 

Anyway, that's what I think is going on there, and it's something I've noticed too, dude.

[Guest]

Occasionally you hear about people who have tulpas that hate them, but that usually either goes into Creepypasta Land and nobody believes it, or everyone just says "No, no, no, that happened because you did *whatever* wrong..."

 

Definitely one of my issues as well. There's this whole professionalism thing floating around that people u easily try to pass off it seems, and then there's also this framework of how things work, where when challenged (Tulpa hates host, host is unable to do something in any way), it's role playing, general attention-whoring, or the host is completely at fault.

 

If Peaches were finished, being a bitch because that's the personality she decided to adopt, and was constantly saying really, really bad things to me, I'd be pissed if people were telling me it was my fault for not (Insert whatever), or that I was being an attention-whore.

 

.info, tho

 

 

Stevie: I shit up my own thread enough as is, feel free, and no need for apologies.

 

And that's actually a bit of a funny prospect. People too ashamed to report when their tulpas aren't constantly sucking their dicks out of love, for the sole reason that the host is the reason they exist.

 

If anyone can ever prove that some lonely dude who was looking forward to sexing his Tulpa was friendzoned, and continues to be denied anything past totally platonic tolerance, my faith in the legitimacy of this thing might be partially restored. Cause it's really hard to believe in it when what's reported is that like, 90% of all tulpa/host relationships are romantic/sexual by choice, and the other 10% is a loving friendship, also by choice.

 

Egh, at what seems to have been the apex of my teenage hormonal journey a couple years ago, I was actually asking questions like "What is Tulpa sex even like?", "How would it work if I've never had sex", etc. *Shudders*

 

Makes me kinda sick now. In ten to fifteen years when Peachy is done, even if she were sex-crazed and begging, I think I'd deny the hell out of her.

 

But yeah friggin' .info and its shit, I love it and hate it at the same time.

[Dracky]

Hahaha I think I'd lose it if I saw a "My tulpa friendzoned me. Wat do?" thread.

 

In all seriousness, that was one of the things that stopped me from wanting to do this for a while: what if my tulpa is just mildly disinterested in me? I mean, I get that if I created them to be nice and loving and whatnot that they won't try to possess me and make me kill my family, but who knows if they'd end up liking me? I mean people are like "Well, I created my tupper to love me and so it does.", but honestly "wanting my dick" is not a personality trait, so I've either created a sex slave, or maybe a "servitor" (whatever that is). Or maybe the tulpa has some sort of weird Stockholm Syndrome and thinks it loves me because it's trapped forever inside my head with no escape.

 

Although I suppose that could be what's up with Lyra in general: Maybe she's totally sentient or whatever and she just thinks I'm a giant dork? Maybe I'll end up with a tulpa that only wants to hang out when she just broke up with one of her tulpa boyfriends and needs someone to boost her self esteem. "Oh Dracky, you're just like a brother to me..."

 

Ah geez, I'm beta even inside my head. XD

[Guest]

Low self-esteem is a bitch, ain't it

 

Guess I should mention that I'm not feeling tuppering at the moment? Peaches seems like a super distant concept, lately. If she could MAYBE DO SOMETHING TO GET MY ATTENTION ONCE IN A WHILE, OR EVEN JUST ONCE IN GENERAL, I MIGHT BE MORE INCLINED TO PAY HER ATTENTION, COUGH COUGH YOUR CUE, PEACHES

 

I'm getting to that kinda sad point where I believe the nodding and such might have just been me being eager, and seeing things that weren't there. Which is really my excuse for believing she's probably not even sentient yet, and in-turn making me feel less shite about not working for the next bit.

 

One of you guys should definitely get onto making a Tupper in pill-form. Or I need to focus and do more work.

 

Eh, but with the being of the mindset that I could work for a thousand hours and see zero improvement, I guess.

 

Dracky, become the Tupper guru and make a Peachy Pitt tulpa so I don't have to and we can be friends, yeah?