Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy (Remastered 2022 ​😎​)

[Guest]

Tuppering is.. Hmm. Not that good, lately. Still spending about as much time as usual with Patches, but it feels pretty hollow. I'm not doubting the few things that have helped out with faith, but right now.. Mmm, right now it's weird, and doubty. I think a lot of it is how totally stalwart a lot of people are, or have been, in their belief in their tups'. I get believing in them, but I don't know why, I feel skeptical when some people speak as though there's not a shred of doubt, or that theirs behaves 100% like another, separate person.

 

I mean, eh, I don't subscribe that much to the separate sentient being anyway, so I don't know why I get bothered when I feel doubty, but I do.

 

Guess I kinda really wanna feel like that, ya know? I'm kindof afraid in a year, I'll still be on nods, and it will be so unremarkable that I pay her less and less attention, until I stop completely, then fall back into my "Not getting anything, might do something later. *Doesn't do anything*" ways.

 

I'm probably just being silly, but yeah. Not pleasant. Going for an hour of narration here in a bit, if I don't fall asleep first. Not going to worry about visuals for a while if I can help it, I'm beginning to resolve to those forever sucking. Sucks for Peachy, but I feel like any of the time I've spent visualizing thus far would have been better spent narrating or something.

[Jay]

I honestly go back and forth between believing and doubting in my tulpas, though I've found that much of that depends on how I'm currently perceiving them. So when communication feels automatic and vivid enough, my belief in their existence and independence tends to be strong -- the opposite when I'm not able to communicate or visualize them. Most of my time with my tulpas ends up being passive forcing, so my confidence in them can shift once or twice throughout a single day.

 

What I've slowly been coming to terms with (since I created my first tulpa) is accepting what autonomy or independence they do have, as well as the malleability of their existence, which seems just as subject to change -- if not more -- as the mental/mood changes one might experience daily, weekly, monthly, etc. It can seem like they change in form or personality because I want/need them to, consciously or otherwise, and I believe this is the case, but it's no reason to stop believing in the validity of their existence.

 

No matter how independent they grow, they will always reside within the same body as I do, so what is there to doubt about them? I ask my tulpa something, and I get a response -- without conscious effort -- that either coincides with my current perception of them, or is different than what I was expecting. If they suddenly change, this can make me doubt them, but eventually I come to terms with it, and we carry on. Sometimes when I want to sit down and ask them directly, with all of my attention focused on them, I can't get anything; I believe this might be from my doubt and fears momentarily taking hold, making me aware of the exact process that I'm experiencing, and thus preventing my ability to formulate responses without conscious effort. I experience a similar feeling when I write about my experiences in my PR, or when I try and analyze why my tulpas are the way they are.

 

This is all just how I see things at this moment, an opinion that's developed not over the course of weeks or months, but years, an opinion that is still subject to change and very likely will. Who am I? Who are my tulpas? What do I believe in? Aren't these questions whose answers change over one's life?

 

Your fears are rational in a process as subjective as tulpas, and I can relate so strongly with the desire to experience my tulpas as clearly as others seem to, but those fears can be so debilitating to the growth of you and your tulpas. You should look back at all of your tulpa related experiences, their quality, what conditions they occurred in. Be honest with yourself. Learn what you were/are capable of, and why any relapses happened.

 

Lastly, I wish that simply thinking this was enough for me to one-hundred percent believe in it. It's been a gradual, personal journey, but I...

 

Wait, "Patches?"

[Guest]

Ahaha. Peachy, Peaches, Patches, Patchy. Whatever I'm feeling.

 

Thanks for the reply, though. Eh, I'll probably never be completely sure, and that sucks for Peaches as much as myself, but I guess that's how it is, huh. Maybe someday. Something that really gets me down is the rock-bottom number of people who seem to have achieved any form of imposition, these days. I mean, yeah, sure, I'd be willing to bet a few people who claimed it back in the day were lying bastards, but none? And if any have, and are still active, I'd bet they're older members. Idunno. The extent I see is in the drug threads, which I'm on the fence as to whether that counts or not, and during like, Hypnogogia and shit. It makes me wonder if there were a few people when this started up who were collaborating their methods, and got it all right, and nobody has since then.

 

Idunno, its probably still just an effort thing. I wouldn't have a hard time believing that a lot of day-1 tulpamancers put in less effort in the long run, and that could be it. And maybe the rest of us are just as lazy, because who knows.

 

Visual imposition would be fucking baller, though. Oh god, I've fantasized it for years. Sigh. And then I'll have a session like last night's, where I can only find things to say for fifteen minutes, and I pass out at thirty, and I know that it's something that is so, so far beyond me. Not the best feeling, but hey, my fault for sucking so much, I guess.

 

Dunno.

 

Anyway, I proposed to Peachy last night that I stop visualizing the nods and stuff, so she can try and get headpains figured out, or the tingly stuff I was getting a while back. No clue what her response was, because I wasn't visualizing her, haha. And I didn't get tingles, or headpains, so I assume.. Idunno, she doesn't like the idea? Eh, whatever, I'll scrap that. Mediocrity-ho!

[sushi]

There are some people who no longer have doubts. I'm not one of them. On bad days, I still doubt Fenchurch. But on good days, I forget that she's not human. It doesn't happen for long, but I still think it's really cool that it happens at all.

 

But yeah, I know where you're coming from with the old timers. It seems like nobody achieved imposition in 2013 or 2014. There are just the 2012s and now a few 2015s starting to get there.

 

I think more people are getting sentience and vocality these days, but fewer get imposition. And that's definitely in the way it's presented. In 2012 it was presented as hard work, and fewer people came in unless they were willing to put that work in. Now "everybody can do it", so we don't get as many people willing to work hard.

 

But yeah, visual imposition would be fucking baller. I hope I get there someday too.

[Linkzelda]

Don't feel too bad. I tried to go for 12 hours of image streaming/active forcing today, and got tired after 3 hours of typing 12,000 words of what went on in my head with barely any breaks at all. But when I wake up to see what goes on in my mind when I'm imagining without restricting myself to describing what's going on, it makes that lack of sleep worth it in the long run. If you want that seemingly instantaneous referring to your imagination with visualization, from my experience, those long hours that seem as if I'm wasting time saves a lot of time overall, but that's just me.

[Guest]

Pretty much my sentiments, Shui. I sometimes wonder how many people actually work past vocality? They're so sure in it, I wouldn't blame them if they left it at that. Hell, I probably would, at least for a long while. I can fantasize, I guess.

 

LZ, that sounds, mm, like something? I remember reading through your guide on image-streaming when you first wrote it, and asking some questions, still at about the same level of incompetence in visuals now as I was then though, so I haven't really considered giving them a go.

 

Not sure I know exactly what you're on about, though. Probably just my own lack or understanding your stuff, it has been a while since I even thought about it. Aha, your idea of struggling to put in time and mine are probably just way too different.

 

 

Anyway, forcing stuff: None. I played a lot of Fallout today, nothing else. Peachy likes it more than other games I play though, so I try to narrate it a lot, and i try to imagine her sitting on the bed behind me, watching, while I'm sitting in my chair. Doesn't hold up for long, but eh, I try.

[nivereno]

I can do imposition pretty well, but i find that most of the time it's more enjoyable to do stuff with my tulpa in the wonderland while doing whatever irl. It probably has to do with my lifestyle beeing a bit potato or with my intrusive thoughts beeing able to impose themselves(The only thing those do is unpleasant things to my tulpa and they are way harder to shrug off when imposing then when wonderlanding, probably because of lack of practice). But really, most situations i'm in are either i'm at home and can focus atleast a 'lil bit then i can do what i can do irl and more in the wonderland or there are a bunch of people around me which makes imposition very limited(As in i'd rather be wonderlanding and able to hug my tulpa rather then just see what she does but not be able to do much interacting stuff myself).

[Guest]

To each his own, I suppose. I like hugging Peachy, but I'd much rather be able to see her. Coupled with, oh baby, hallucinatory audio, I think I'd just about be the happiest person alive. I'd also be able to actually friggin focus on her, probably. Of course, sigh, before I even have an inkling of hope of getting there, I need to get any speech at all.

 

And visuals

 

And stop being all doubty.

 

 

Sigh.

 

But yeah. Maybe someday, three or four years down the line. That'd be pretty rad.

[nivereno]

Doubt is incredibly annoying, i have many to infinite reasons to never doubt at all, yet some times i still get all doubty. Its not like doubt is productive, helpful or fun anyways. Doubt with tulpa's is very much like trying to learn something while constantly telling yourself that your never going to learn anything and should instead go do nothing. Only difference is your also telling it to someone else who is also trying to learn at the same time.

[arcanemagic]

Yeah, like everyone else has said, it's not so much that I've got no doubts. It's more like "I can't be bothered to make a post on .info right now" and by the time I get around to updating my PR, the doubts have gone away or I've been distracted by something more interesting that's taken my mind off of the doubt.... Or I logic my way out of doubting my invisible mind friend by telling myself that even if Markus isn't real my brain'll make her real. I started this with the belief that it's all just a trick of the brain anyway, but I seem to have drifted away from that belief and started to see Markus as something else, which kinda bugs me and tends to cause doubts. But anyway, I seem to have this cycle where I'm super non-doubty for like 2-3 weeks then I get bogged down with doubts for a couple of weeks then I get better. Not sure if any of that jumbled mess of ideas helped, but I figured I'd provide some input for... some reason... yeah.