Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy (Remastered 2022 ​😎​)

[Alexx]

Coincidentally, I actually have been exercising, and yes, doing pushups daily (or every other day when my arms are wrecking me), and there's actual improvement. A week or two ago, I could barely do a pathetic four or five, and I struggled immensely on each one. On a few days, and I could do ten!.. But still struggled. I think the day before last I did like, thirteen? But I had no problem getting close to the floor, and bringing myself back up, which was a first, and kinda exciting.

You can try to ask Peaches to count for you. May not work at first, i guess. Just an idea.

[sushi]

I kid. Still, yeah. Imaginary friends have always seemed like more of an uncomfortable reminder of how much of a loser I am, or would be if I had one. I don't think I've ever viewed tulpas in that way, but.. Fuck, man. I always say tuppering is weird, yeah?

 

I've been there. It was before I found this community, and I didn't even know for sure if it was possible to create a tulpa. I was thinking what a loser I was to be trying to create an imaginary girlfriend.

 

Things have changed since then though. I'm definitely far more confident in myself now. In addition to that, I think that some people need to be in a relationship with a tulpa. Amber is a great example. I think could find a flesh and blood person who is right for her, but it's probably more work than it's worth, especially when she's happy with Toby.

 

Of course a tulpa relationship still isn't for me, and I'm not entirely sure why. I guess it would feel artificial to me. Not really pathetic, just unsatisfying.

 

Occasionally you hear about people who have tulpas that hate them, but that usually either goes into Creepypasta Land and nobody believes it, or everyone just says "No, no, no, that happened because you did *whatever* wrong..."

 

Well, there is fennecgirl, though she has been accused of roleplaying in the past.

 

I think tulpas are very much what you project onto them, at least initially. If you go into this with the expectation that your tulpa will not find you interesting, she probably won't.

 

I also think that if you don't expect anyone to find you interesting, that's a problem of your own that is more important than whether or not you have a tulpa. Take up a physical activity and take up an art. It doesn't need to be football and painting -- tightrope walking and kintsugi is just as good. I just think that it's important for everyone to have a physical outlet, and a creative outlet, and it also makes you a more interesting person.

[Guest]

In regards to physical and creative outlets:

 

Physical anything is awful, and despite my late exercising, I don't enjoy it at all, and wish it would die in a hole. Creative.. Yeah, I'm shite at pretty much everything. Art, writing, am okay with the boring aspects of making music, but those are more making pre-existing things sound decent, not using music as an outlet for ideas.

 

Forever doomed to be uninteresting, I'm afraid.

 

And I'm not bagging on the tupper/host relationship thing. Hell, if I could do this, and engage in a hugs and kisses relationship, that'd be rad, but I've already talked about that before. My thing is just how frequently it happens, and how it seems like it never goes wrong. Leaves more than a little room for suspicion.

 

Of course, when you mention projecting on them in the early stages, I guess that'll cover that. Someone wants a romantic tup, they get one. Still, seems.. Weird, to me. Not fond of how that works

 

Which is why I've done my best to establish a platonic, nothing-but-friends/acquaintances atmosphere with Peachy, so it'll be an even playing field when she's--

 

Fuck it, sick of saying "when she's done", she'll be or she won't, eventually. Leaning towards the "won't"

 

Need to sleep, have no clue what I was even going for, here, haha.

[Dracky]

I think tulpas are very much what you project onto them, at least initially. If you go into this with the expectation that your tulpa will not find you interesting, she probably won't.

 

I also think that if you don't expect anyone to find you interesting, that's a problem of your own that is more important than whether or not you have a tulpa. Take up a physical activity and take up an art. It doesn't need to be football and painting -- tightrope walking and kintsugi is just as good. I just think that it's important for everyone to have a physical outlet, and a creative outlet, and it also makes you a more interesting person.

 

I'm not saying that I expect people to find me uninteresting. Honestly, as much as I self-deprecate, I generally like myself. Or at least I don't wallow in self-loathing, anyway. I'll admit I probably could stand to diversify my interests a bit, but hey.

 

And yeah, I get that tulpas generally start out as what you put into them, I dunno. I guess I'm over thinking things.

 

@Enny: Tulpa guru? Probably not. I can loan you some of my delusional optimism though.

[Guest]

So as I mentioned a month or two back, still looking at human forms. I guess there are plenty from cartoons and the (incredibly) limited number of animes I watch, but I've been a bit hesitant to choose one because I feel weird picking human bodies because I think they're cute

 

No real-life human females. I find that stuff kinda creepy, and seeing people around here do that makes me feel weird. Also am too bad to make my own, which should go without saying.

 

Anyway, like, all female ponies are pretty cute and all that, yeah? Just different colors and mane cuts?

 

Well, with human females and deciding which ones I like, I have to look at height, and facial structure, and I need to make sure the boobs aren't so big that people think "Wow, look at this guy who picked this form because he's horny, or some such shit." (Not a boob guy, anyway) or so small that I get thrown in with the loli crowd because ew, and then there's like fifty other things, including clothes and gait, how they hold themselves when idle, and everything else.

 

But still. It's new, I guess? I've gone with a couple human forms for a while in the past, but didn't put much work into it, and didn't stick with them for long.

 

Anyway, as I also mentioned a couple months ago, I got into that RWBY show because I'm obviously inferior to most weeb faggots, by their say of course, and ordered this thing.

 

Well, it came in, and looks really good in person (Was expecting the colors to be washed out, or for it to look and feel kinda cheap, but aside from like, two small errors, it looks really, really vibrant and nice. And it's also fucking huge), and I was kinda staring at it, and thought, "You know. One of my reminders when I first started on Miriam a couple years back was all the pony stuff in my room. And when my dad decided it was time to break my poor Ditzy statue, and send away/burn/bury/I-don't-actually-know-what-happened-to-it the rest of the merch, that became one less reminder.

 

Well, I definitely find myself staring at this thing a lot, if only because it looks so nice as a contrast to my fucking pink-as-shit walls, so.. Maaaybe?

 

I've given Peachy a few test run forms without reporting, since the first mention, and it's hard to stick with them because I'm used to the pony stuff. But hell, as hard as human stuff seems to me, pony stuff is even more difficult. I don't know if I ever said anything, but I've always imagined Peachy in 3d. Luckily never looked weird or anything in my mind, but it's not easy, and 2d isn't something I wanna consider.

 

And hell. Rwby as a whole is in 3d. That already makes it, like, 100% easier to get references for than the pony, however adorable, who has like, less than fifteen pics on the internet (post-Steek)

 

Anyways, as per my honor, as my friends and I have a strict policy about same-waifu conflict, my choices are limited to Ruby Rose, and Weiss Schnee (Nobody else wanted her so I just took a second because I feel bad for non-existent characters).

 

That taken into account, my irl crush-material criteria is, kinda short, short hair, not morbidly obese, and a dork (Doesn't exist irl where I live, but maybe some day) soo-

 

Yeah, I'm just trying to justify changing forms to Ruby-tulpa, fuck all of your opinions >:L

 

 

But yeah, I really do like the form and the voice and most things, and I'm being completely serious when I say the pony form needs to go, that's not just an excuse. It's hard to get right, proportionally, it's hard to remember the structure, the mane is made of magic and/or lies, depending on which direction you're looking at it from, and I can never remember the colors, as I'm sure I've mentioned several times. Red and black (Which, ironically enough, in-regards to color combos on shitty pony OC's, were the bane of my existence back when I frequented/modded this little pony chat-site) are easy to remember.

 

And yes, it looks marginally less shitty than it did on all of those edgy Alicorn OC's. God, the Alicorn OC's..

 

So yeah, I guess? I don't know why I felt the need to say so much when I could have just been like, "New form, deal". I guess I just enjoy making long posts.

 

So yeah, will try this out. I'll try and get a couple good sessions in, over the next few days, yeah? Just hope I don't associate Peachy (Keeping the name for now) with this wall-scroll thing so hard that when she finally speaks, she's not tied to it or some such gayness. I wonder if that kinda thing has happened before?

 

What else? Uhm.. Yeah, that's it. Bedtime, I guess.

[arcanemagic]

Man who doesn't like Weiss? Weiss is awesome. Anyway, I've always wondered how people 3d-ify their ponies. I mean, I'm sure it doesn't look odd to them, but like, if I could somehow look into their mind I feel like it wouldn't look the way it should. Meh, the same probably goes for Markus and my forms in the wonderland. Our brain kind of just smoothes over any rough visualization details, for the most part at least :p

 

But yeah, I felt a bit weird making Markus as a girl so she actually started out with a male form. Just like an awesome guy best friend or sumthin :p Then she deviated and I was "like wow so that's how that happens..."

 

So... there's some kind of story. Hope you found it interesting/helpful :)

[Guest]

They think she's stuck up and shit, and where that may be true to some degree, I think she deserves a bit of slack on account of what was probably a pretty stressful upbringing.

 

 

In regards to 3d ponies, I have no clue how I do it. It's obviously not usually great, but when the planets align, and I get the most bomb-ass visuals possible, yeah, just looks.. Idunno. Alright? Can't remember distinctly right now, as it's actually been a while since I've had decent visuals, but I'm pretty sure it looks decent.

 

I hope Peaches doesn't become a dude, now that you mention your experience. It'd be fine, I guess, but the idea is to have a chick friend, as I don't actually have any in real life. I have too many dude friends :L

 

 

Anyway, so, uh, yeah, am stepping back and ignoring any small signs of maybe sentience I've had for now. Reading through the forums, a lot of older members who I have issues doubting had much more, idunno, solid belief in their tuppers. Not even through blind faith, just in that there was more for it, that they couldn't disprove if they tried. Parallel processing is a big one. in which during a conversation, the Tupper would have a long, articulate, intelligent, and unique perspective, and speak of, and think on that perspective, while the host is thinking about their own thing, to the same level of depth.

 

I mean, that sounds cool as fuck

 

You don't see much of that these days. You do, however, still see a lot of hosts who have claimed sentience and all that jazz for a long while, but admit to doubting a lot, or even that they only keep going solely on faith, not that there's much evidence to show their Tupper is truly independent. Maybe because their tuppers are being finished in a day, and they don't put time in?

 

Just my bitterness showing, it's not like I've put that much time in, in any event. Will try to pick up the pace, though.

[sushi]

I think that sentience is just the first step on the sliding scale of independence. As an example, Fenchurch is capable of surprising me, remembering things that I forgot, telling me when I'm dreaming, and her personality is very different from my own. But I don't consider her very independent.

 

Yesterday I was reading this:

 

And try as I may, I could not convince him that Glen was played by the same guy who played as Willy Wonka and Edward Scissorhands. I even showed him in the credits that he was listed as Johnny Depp, but I still don't think he believes me. XD

 

When I read that, it occurred to me that stuff like that never happens with Fenchurch. Her personality may be very distinct from mine, but her knowledge is not. If she didn't know who an actor was, she'd check my mind to see if I knew. I've tried to get her to stop, but it's over a year worth of habit to break, so it's very difficult.

 

And of course we can't go anywhere near hardcore parallel processing stuff, like playing chess together.

[Guest]

A year, though? Egh

 

One person I actually kinda look up to, as much for putting time in that I never could, as his experiences, is G|d30n. What was it, three hours a day, he did? And his first real bit of speech was actually alien-feeling? People like him seemed so much further in months than a lot of current members do in even longer.

 

I don't doubt your experiences personally, Shui, but even so, it's almost been two years since you got started on Fench, yeah? I know you're lazy with time put in, much like myself, at times, but if you're saying independence, which seems like one of the few things that could really help to reaffirm one's own beliefs, isn't so hot, that's

 

Idunno. It just seems weird. What's different now? It's not just some little thing that some people experience differently, this whole thing, the "Tulpa" thing- it's experienced differently by the majority now, it seems. And it seems kinda.. Weak. People are getting results faster, or so they think/claim, and hitting milestones slower, or not at all. The only person who has claimed Imposition in a while, and correct me if there was another one that is actually legit, was fuckin' Alexxmorrow. And we all know him.

 

Even members who are sure of their tuppers being unsure on the particulars doesn't give me the best feeling. They're sure their tuppers are real, but they're not sure they're really independent, or really even sentient at times. Ugh, too much subjectivity..

 

Gonna sit back, focus myself, and do some personality tonight. I never did much, and maybe it would help. Gonna put together a new list, and slowly work through them. Over a few days, weeks, who knows? I might make it something that I just work on when there are lulls in conversation. Sigh, after I know that by heart, I guess I'll take the depressing plunge and try visualization again. Just don't expect many happy posts regarding that, visuals are Satan, and nobody can tell me otherwise.

[sushi]

I know you're lazy with time put in, much like myself, at times,

 

I think I'm much more lazy than you. I think it's been nearly two years since I've made any progress.

 

but if you're saying independence, which seems like one of the few things that could really help to reaffirm one's own beliefs, isn't so hot, that's

 

Not that it isn't so hot, just that we're on the weak end of the sliding scale. I'm sure there are many tulpas around here who have much more independence than Fench, because their hosts have actually put in work.

 

The only person who has claimed Imposition in a while, and correct me if there was another one that is actually legit, was fuckin' Alexxmorrow.

 

Well, I seem to remember Cinemaphobe saying something about imposition, but I could be wrong.