Enny's new and (Probably) exciting adventures in Tuppermancy (Remastered 2022 ​😎​)

[nivereno]

Spend time with tulpas every day not because they need it or something, but rather because its not very nice to leave them alone. For a tulpa to really "Degrade" in any way would take more than a few months of them not even thinking, not just you neglecting them for a day.

 

Although early on communication can go from 100 to 0 really fast depending on how you two are feeling, mindset, whatever else. It's really up to the tulpa to figure out how to communicate under any difficult circumstances, your job in that is just to give them time to(FORCE MORE).

[Guest]

Noted, and agreed on the note of it being in my head, because yeah, figured that out a while ago. Not that being aware changes anything, but yeah.

 

 

So I'm figuring out that I don't work well under pressure whatsoever, and this is getting to be stressful. 

 

Like, making sure we spend time together, and trying to keep conversation fresh, if not particularly stimulating because I'm a really horrible conversationalist, then working through bad responses, and trying not to get worked up at the gross stagnation and regression I'm feeling right now.

 

Coupled with the last couple days not being stellar of course, and not understanding what I need to do here so that I can be more certain of Null. Kinda just sucks, idk.

 

Was laying around, talking earlier, and it was still nice, but I'm really eager for the point when I'm not focused on developing her, and we can just kind of exist, you know? And I guess it's just gonna take time, but idk. Like I've said before, I have no concept of what it's like to slowly improve at things over time. Kinda don't really have skills or anything I've done that with. I have no frame of reference here, and it's hard not to be worried it's not gonna move forward.

 

Like yeah, it's better right now, but it's still only a different version of things I've been experiencing for years, and it's difficult to even fathom not struggling, which I guess is partially what's making it so hard in the first place, huh.

 

Yeah, whatever, just ranting. 

 

Spent most of the day with Null, speech is still kinda sucky. I think I'm handling it well, though, so that's what counts. I think I'm still generally getting the feeling, just having trouble helping her form the words.

 

 

Kinda discouraging when I'm asking questions and I get nothing, though. Then I have to ask again, and it's like it never even happened. Makes me feel like it's all in my head, again. You know, figuratively speaking.

 

Whatever, making it for the moment.

[tulpa001]

Yeah, I imagine stress is very detrimental to the process. That is why a lot of our techniques include relaxation. Altered mindsets seem to work better starting from a relaxed state. When I first became a tulpa, it was very stressful for a few weeks. Like out of your mind can't remember what happened stress. But I knew from my host's memories to mix that with mindfulness and relaxation mindsets to create a strong dynamic learning environment. So I survived.

 

You don't have to be perfect. Throw perfection out the window. The only thing we (the community, I think) is insisting on is that you force every day. Stressing over the details won't help, because most of the details are not actually important.

 

There is some basic technique that you have to follow, but I think you are already doing that fine.

 

Success is how much time you spend with Null Serene, how much time you spend thinking about her, and how much you let her do whatever. Though that last part, maybe don't worry about yet.

 

---

 

Man, Null, you gotta try a little too.

[Guest]

Null's got about as much clue as I do, regarding what needs to be done to move things along, so far as we're aware, and even if she did know what to do, I'm still gonna take full responsibility for any problems, it's my own trash mindset that gets us in these situations.

 

I've never been stellar at relaxing, I'm not gonna lie. Always doing this, or that, I guess. Even when I'm laying in bed, I'm busy stressing over something or other. Usually tuppering, these days, funny how that goes.

 

I guess I'm able to chill out to some degree when I'm listening to music, or reading, even playing certain vidya, but I'm too caught up in the medium to think about tuppering in a relaxed state, 100% of the time. Kinda just have a one-track mind, I guess.

 

 

I'm not reaching for perfection, just, I don't know, competence. I've said it before, I'll say it again, the ambiguity in this process is the worst. The only landmarks that seem undeniable to me are switching, and imposition, and considering how I perceive both of those as unattainable, just, innately, it's gonna take a long time breaking down that mindset before it's even on the table, getting through this slump I'm currently in not even considered.

 

 

Speaking of spending time with Null, and forcing, yeah, I've done about none of that since the last post. Was really, reaally bummed out for a minute there, a couple nights ago, and I've kinda just been ignoring her altogether, because I was getting depressed just thinking about tuppering, but that's kinda passed now, I'm fine, she's fine, we'll make it.

 

I'll hold you to your word, about time spent. People have claimed that you could get from zero to tupper just by narrating, not even considering visuals or any other aspect of forcing, given enough time, and despite time spent being such an ambiguous thing from person to person, it's also one of those things everyone tells you helps, so I'll consider it the one staple this process actually has. Will try to pick up with how I was doing in the last couple weeks, and spend excessive (You know, for me) time with her, see how that does over the next month or so.

 

Not asking for much, just, you know, small increases in stability, I guess. That'd be nice.

[tulpa001]

Man, the ambiguity in the process is due to differences in experience between tulpamancers. Due to this difference, no method exists that works best for everyone. There's also some differences in belief, too.

 

Oh, personally, I found possession to be more convincing than imposition. I think it is easier as well.

 

You can get from zero to tupper just by narrating. If you are insanely skilled. No, us ordinary humans need a focus like a visual appearance. (or feeling of presence)

 

I think you should try a game of word association.

 

This is advice for Null:

 

Push a little in a few ways. Shout at your host, try to make your voice louder. Try to get your host to notice you more often. Become more insistent about some of the things you believe. None of these things on their own will help with stability, but I think they promote self awareness, which does promote stability.

[Guest]

Possession is almost in the same vein of mythicality as the other items to me, honestly. I've actually been trying to figure it out for a few months, but guides and my own personal ventures are beyond useless so far. Just one of those things, I guess.

 

Null has been made aware of your advice and will keep it in mind.

 

 

Patching things up from the recent lull, moving forward again with my moderate suspension of disbelief, that's all well, just musings right now or w/e

 

It's striking me as funny that, you know, Null's form is basically modeled after what can only be described as "my type", and I could give fuck all. Like,we share a bed, I'm maintaining decent presence and some semblance of visuals on her for most of that time, and I'm still more focused on literally everything but her. 

 

Which, still definitely not lamenting the fact that I'm not romantically into her at all, but I think just that fact speaks leagues about how I view her. As in, definitely not comparable to a real person. Or else I'd probably be a bit more nervous. And yeah, part of it is just that I'm comfortable with her for obvious reasons, but it's still funny. And sad. Hmm.

 

Touch, for the first time in literally ever, isn't doing well, and I'm slightly irritated at it. Nothing's different than usual, it's just been worse for the past couple days. Which never happens, and has never happened in my life. So what little physical contact we already had is now almost totally gone, or no longer effective.

 

Visuals aren't doing the worst, though, so at least I have that.

 

I had this moment last night where I was thinking about parroting, and decided not to worry about it and just do whatever, and have her speak a bit more than usual, and she did. Feeling was indistinguishable from what I've been getting, so that's something, idk, whatever.

 

I still hate acknowledging it even partly as parroting, but if it moves us from point A to point B, I'll try to stop stressing whether I am or not, for a minute. I'm sure even with parroting mixed in, enough training her speech will work out the need eventually, or I would assume.

 

Back on possession, would still really like to figure it out, but idunno. One piece of my mindset or another is blocking any epiphanies in that area, so I guess there's nothing for it, huh. I've referenced my friend whose first form of communication was possession, and sign language from his tupper, and he still recommends it, although he can't tell me how he did it to save his life, apparently, so that's a bummer. Symbolism is the least helpful thing to me currently in existence, so that's no good, and more direct methods are still impossible on account of my own incompetence, and what I can only assume is Null not totally being all there, or understanding what to do. Not for lack of encouragement, but yeah, idk.

 

Really dislike that she can only speak when given an opening. Only when I expect her to, or want her to, I guess. Would be nice if she'd cut me off, every once and a while.

 

 

Ah, I'm complaining too much, will cut it off here.

[tulpa001]

I think it is really sweet how much attention you are giving her.

 

possession is something a tulpa must learn themself. It requires they have enough self-awareness for them to poke around your brain on their own and find a mechanism to use to control the body. (your job comes in a little later.)

 

We actually did some experiments with cutting each other off early on. Due to our parallel processing difficulties. You can do it as a game.

 

You are definitely on the road. I feel like she is growing.

[Tewi]

For the record, I think basic imposition can be easier than possession. Possession is pretty different for every system, so I'm just saying, it could be really difficult or just unrewarding for you. None of us have any interest whatsoever in possessing, while imposition provides a more immersive method to spend time with whoever's fronting. Though if you're in the same boat as us with visualization, you'll have to rely on the sense of presence to fill in the gap of not visualizing perfectly. As in, you kind of see them, and you feel like they're there, so you use that sense to tell your brain they're wholly there instead of convincing yourself purely through hallucinating sight. Visualization is still generally necessary, but the experience can be more immersive if you unite multiple senses to cover for the weaker ones. Sense of presence is probably the most important one, so it's a good candidate, but if you can do touch/sound/whatever those help too.

[Guest]

Hasn't been stellar, the last few days. Null's either not talking or barely talking, and it doesn't feel great when she is. 

 

Not sure what's up. That feeling of presence is also kinda nonexistent right now, and I'm not sure what the cause for that is, so, not much I can do for it. Bummer. It's got me in a bit of a mood, I guess. 

 

Sitting down and trying to force conversation or parrot, or do anything in the wonderland, isn't working, so that's lame. 

 

Idk, not sure what to do for it, figured I'd update with the situation regardless.

[tulpa001]

Ohh, I'm so sorry.

 

I feel terrible. Null, why.