Why doesn't everyone make tulpa girlfriends?

[TulpaCouple]

 

 

What happens if she dies or leaves you though? Not only is that 30,660 hours down the drain, but you have to deal with the crushing depression that will probably make you feel near suicidal for years. I just don't see why it's worth the risk when you can make a tulpa.

 

Relationships with other people are unpredictable and unreliable. You could meet some great girl, have a wonderful relationship, then a car goes speeding down the road as she crosses the street and kills her instantly. That's not even considering all of the much more likely things which could end any relationship with a real human. At least with a tulpa she would only die when I die and my brain shuts down. Much more reliable and less risky.

 

Not "Nate" anymore.

 

Well, what if your tulpa 'dies'? We've seen people lose their tulpas, or have them become disturbed or damaged through experiences and life issues screwing with the subconscious. If you had spent the same amount of hours with your tulpa and she was gone, that pain would be there all the same. There is always risk in everything that you can do. You could be the one hit by the car, it could damage part of your brain and land you in the hospital for months. Only, when you recover, she may have been destroyed through all the time in pain and recovery where you couldn't focus on her. You could return to the world with your mind back to the way it was, but your tulpa gone, or maybe damaged. A real girl could be there at your side, paying for life support and helping you through therapy and recovery. There are always pros and cons of each side.

 

And we haven't been doing the tulpa thing scientifically for long enough for it to really be reliable. What is the longest anyone has gone having a tulpa? There are so many who join who claim to have had a tulpa in the past, only to have the tulpa say he/she wants to merge or that the tulpa just disappeared. It's always possible that for some people, keeping a tulpa around would be increasingly difficult over the years. We don't fully know how the mind works or changes through life, or what it's like to have a tulpa forty years down the road.

 

 

I think there is always risk with every choice. There is risk in being alone, there is risk in falling in love. There is risk when spending time with any companion, romantic or not. Your best friend could die, in fact he will someday. Sucks. But all things end. That doesn't mean they aren't worth it though.

 

I mean, if he died. If a car came by and killed him instantly. I would be crushed. It would almost kill me to go on, I know. But does that mean those hours were 'down the drain' or wasted? No. Not a single moment I spent with him, good or bad could I ever consider a wasted second if he were to die or our relationship to end. It was a part of my life and my heart, and each moment is partly responsible for who I am now. I have had friends I spent many years with who I don't spend time with anymore, we have gone on to live different lives. I don't think the hours I spent with them were a waste either, even if they are not here by my side, they were moments in my life and even a short relationship(platonic or otherwise) has a lot to offer to anyone. Memories we can take with us and cherish always.

 

I guess I think every experience is an important experience. Maybe I'm a risk taker, but maybe that's all life is. You take a risk getting out of bed each morning and a risk getting back in it at night(bed bugs suck!)

 

I can see why some people would like a tulpa girlfriend. Maybe if you had a horrifyingly dangerous job it would be nice having a girlfriend who you know you wouldn't have to leave behind if you were to die. There are plenty of reasons psychologically or physically that may make it more appealing.

 

But the same goes for a physical relationship. Plenty of other reasons that could make that appealing as well. Maybe you have a risk of becoming injured in your old age, would be nice to have someone around to help care for you, and have someone there so the burden of the world is not alone on your shoulders(financial or social reasons, etc.)

 

That's really all I guess. I think some people make out real relationships to be more of a dangerous experience than they really are. I've been through some really rough ones, but I learned through each one and I'm still going. But you know, I think everyone has a risk to take, psychologically or physically.

 

And I think everyone is going to fail at some point. And it's going to hurt. I don't know anyone who can ride a bike who never fell down. I don't know anyone in a happy relationship who wasn't hurt. And I don't know anyone who has a tulpa who didn't have a big mistake they made in the process. It's all part of learning and it's all a part of the risks we take in our relationships and lives.

 

And it's all our choice, which risks to take I guess. The rewards of taking a risk may seem worth it to one, while the danger of failure may make others shy away. Same goes for a tulpa. Plenty of people don't want to take the risk of spending the hours creating one when it might not work or they might screw it up... Risk versus reward.

[Lulu]

I don't get it. If tulpas are as great as everyone makes them sound then why doesn't everyone just ditch their real girlfrien- STOPPED READING HERE

That's the fucking idea for most of us I would imagine.

[Sock]

I don't know why you are trying to defend your point, because I wasn't saying that tulpas are less important or real than a physical girlfriend. I was saying that a person's relationships and a tulpa relationship are equal, and that one isn't really superior to another. It is all about the amount of time and trust and effort put into each relationship. Not many people put 100 hours into anything, let alone any more than that, and when they do(like videogames) they tend to get pretty good at. I understand different people have to approach this from different angles, all with their own challenges and burdons, and that is why some people will find they prefer being in a relationship with a tulpa over a person, or perhaps a person over a tulpa.

 

But it is merely frustrating to see so many bash the relationships other people have worked so hard to make wonderful for them. It's not fun to have people mock a relationship, regardless of who is involved.

 

Although I cannot say that I have been in a relationship with a woman that has ever went beyond friendship (Because I actually do like the idea of lady friends more than actual "girl friends"), my viewpoint is actually very similar to your's. I think that trying to use a tulpa to completely replace human relationship is a waste of the tulpa's potential, and that there are many things that one can get from a human relationship that you just cannot get from a tulpa. The relations you get with either type can be very fulfilling and wonderful if one puts the time and effort into either of them. In the end, "you get out what you put in" applies to everything.

 

Furthermore, I'm the type of person that actually hopes to spread joy and happiness to other's he meets, and nothing makes my day brighter than knowing that I made someone else' day. Thus, even as I now have two tulpae, I wish to spread out my social wings and be able to help as many people as I can, and will seek my tulpa's help in doing so.

[Guest applesauce99]

Another aspect is maybe because people don't know exactly what they want in a girlfriend. They can create a nice, loving tulpa...but it might not be what they really want. I myself am creating a tulpa that will love me as a girlfriend might, but I already have a girlfriend in real life.

 

Can never get enough wubs, I guess.

---

And tulpacouple: very heartwarming post, thank you for your awesome 2 cents on the topic. I think, since tulpae are entirely built from a belief system, that if you believe they last forever - they will. But then if you believe in creepy pasta then they will rape you until the day you die :P

[forseriously]

tulpacouple, i hope you stay in this community for a long time. Reading posts like yours makes me feel like it's not only social hermits that populate this forum.

 

Listen, if you guys can't get in a relationship for whatever reason, then don't GIVE UP on it, WORK ON YOURSELF SO YOU CAN HAVE REAL FRIENDS AND REAL GIRLFRIENDS. You're going to be missing out on so much if you just give up because it's too hard and making an imaginary girlfriend is easier.

[Sands]

>implying I want a girlfrie- oh dammit I said that already.

[Hannibal]

I kinda get pised off when people think that you're a social outcast just because one doesn't have a girfriend. The only time im meeting women is when I want to hit it. Yes, I am that shallow. I my self have trust ishues (hate that fucking word) with people. Got burned way too many times so I just gave up in searching a relationship. Now does that mean I'm making a imaginary girfriend? Heck no. I realised that no matter what I may think of my tulpa at certain points, I understand that I must never, EVER consider her as a girfriend. Why? Because in a long run, I would end up hurting her, and honestly I love her too much, so I can't take such risks. So whats my point? Well, like someone said, people change, people come and go... And if they dont, well, I do not care, im fine as it is, and with somebody like my tulpa in my life, I can honestly say I will not have any need of more friends other than the ones I know. But I cant forget about my own needs as a human being.

[FigN01]

I don't believe TC or anyone else is calling people who don't have a girlfriend a social outcast. Real social outcasts are ones who can't even see the potential value in having a relationship, and there have been a few users who've said as much. I don't blame anyone for their opinions- I'm sure you have your reasons -but the nature of tulpas in general seems to attract a lot of cynics and misanthropes who have given up on everyone but themselves. I haven't, and I don't believe I will. I'm glad to see that the subject of tulpas isn't excluding more social people from contributing as well, and if you want any diverse thought in the community, it would be a terrible idea to stigmatize either personality types.

[Hannibal]

Forseriously pissed me off. Than again, im pissed off at other things at the moment...

[Lyranon]

tulpacouple, i hope you stay in this community for a long time. Reading posts like yours makes me feel like it's not only social hermits that populate this forum.

 

Listen, if you guys can't get in a relationship for whatever reason, then don't GIVE UP on it, WORK ON YOURSELF SO YOU CAN HAVE REAL FRIENDS AND REAL GIRLFRIENDS. You're going to be missing out on so much if you just give up because it's too hard and making an imaginary girlfriend is easier.

Have both, live the dream!

Who says it has to be a GIRLfriend anyway, i'm quite happy with my same-sex relationship, and it's all because of the tuppers.