Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

[ItsSwissmas]

Awesome, she's finally starting to speak more. :D And remember, parroting a tulpa means you have full conscious in making her speak, nothing is on accident. So if you hear someone speaking fluently to you in your mind, think it's her.

Oh, tell Yumi I said hi please! c:

(Also I've never heard of a brown recluse, and I'm from Florida too :P )

[Cinemaphobe]

DAY 23!!!!!

 

@ItsSwissmas: Well they are reclusive by nature, so it's difficult to find them unless you accidentally destroy their home. A Brown Recluse was living in my sweater. My god damn sweater. So you should definitely study them because they love Florida's weather!

 

My suspicions were correct.

 

When I woke up, I said "Good morning Yumi~" as I usually do, and I received a steady flow of sentences. While the sentences felt extremely familiar, I knew that they weren't mine, and became confident that it was my dear Yumi who was speaking to me! I'm surprised though, because I didn't expect her words to feel like a second stream of consciousness for some reason. Her mindvoice is EXTREMELY quiet, but thankfully it is distinct! I was so happy to finally be able to talk to her, that I actually felt motivated enough to get out of bed and prepare to go job searching!!! But the motivation died because of laziness, and today is Friday...But this is the conversation that I had with Yumi!!!!!! I noticed that I can only hear her when I give her attention, so I'll have to work on establishing a habit of passive-forcing. Even while typing this it is kind of hard to hear her!

But anyways, this is the conversation, and I typed while we spoke:

 

(Her voice is kind of high-pitched)

 

:3

 

 

Today at 12:18 PM

 

NOTE TO READER

*YUMI IS SO FUCKING IMPATIENT JESUS CHRIST*

Yumi: Hey erase that!

Me: No! It's true!

Yumi: *pouts*

Me: Not my fault that my typing isn't of superhuman speed

Yumi: Perhaps you are right. *pouts*

 

Beginning of Conversation<3

 

Me: I'm glad that I can finally communicate with you...

Yumi: I could speak all along, but you were all like "Bro. There is no way you would be able to speak."

Me: Was it subconscious? Or conscious?

Yumi: Both.

Me: Damn.

Yumi: Yeah.

Me: Well at least you're here:)

Yumi: *Giggles* Be glad that you made me to be a nice tulpa.

Me: What's that supposed to mean??? lol

Yumi: I don't know. You can be aggravating when you tulpaforce.

Me: How??

Yumi: You interrupt the sessions to write down things.

Me: I have to document your progress!!!

Yumi: No you don't!!!!

Me: Yumi..... *laughs and looks out the window.*

Yumi: What's so interesting out there?

Me: I should be job searching right now but I'm not really feeling it.

Yumi: What does "Feeling it." feel like. Yeah. That's my question.

Me: Having energy. Having a goal. Etc.

Yumi: Boooooooring. Let's just spend time together.

Me: I can't until I figure out what I'm gonna do for my life! Lol

Yumi: Blah Blah Blah Blah

Me: Very Mature Yumi.

Yumi: Hey don't change that!

Me: I typed the word wrong. I can't post a typo.

Yumi: Let the world know the truth behind your writing!

Me. ....dude....

Yumi: hahahahahahhahahaha~

Me: I see that you didn't deviate from any of my traits.

Yumi: Hah! You want me too???

Me: Nah. I like you the way you are :3

 

Yumi: Aaaaaaawwwww.

Me: Yeah:)

Yumi: Buuuuullllshiiieeeett *giggles*

what does that mean anyways?

Me: Don't pretend like you don't know. I gave you access to all of my brain long ago!

Yumi: Oh...Well it's still stupid.

Me: My brain?

Yumi: Yes.

Me: Can't argue with a tulpa about that one.

Yumi: *giggles*

Me: Stop giggling now.

Yumi: OR WHAT!?!?

Me: Or I'll tulpapunch you!

Yumi: You won't.

Me: I will.

Yumi: You pretentious snob.

Noooooo don't write that down!!!

Me: Hahahah that's what you get!!! Say something embarrassing again!

 

***Phone call from Voltaire****

 

Me: *Talking to Voltaire*

Yumi: *Makes weird sounds to distract host*

Beee Boooo Beeee Boooo Beeee Boooo~

Me: *Tells Yumi to shut up through mindvoice*

Yumi: *Sticks out her tongue*

Me: *Finishes talking to Voltaire*

 

Yumi: Well that only took 20 years...

 

 

 

So, Yumi is very direct, and doesn't sugarcoat things lol. She is also sarcastic, and playful. She really didn't deviate from any of the traits I gave her which surprises me and doesn't surprise at the same time:) Since I can only hear her mindvoice when I am thinking of her, I have to now work on being able to focus on her 24/7 so that it becomes a habit. But even as I type this, and my brain is concentrated solely on this, she says random words lol. It turns out that I have been holding myself back the entire time. At first I thought that I was open to Yumi's words, but I wasn't. The entire time I was underestimating her abilities, and assuming that she didn't have the ability to speak completely yet. Last night, I was able to have my first conversation with her because I closed my eyes and imagined a black wall in front of me. The black wall symbolized skepticism, disbelief, and expectation. Behind the wall, Yumi's speech, and abilities, which had a white glow to them, floated. I then set aside my skepticisms, beliefs, and expectations, and the wall cracked, allowing the white light to pour through. After this symbolism I felt closer to Yumi and I could finally tune into her mindvoice. At first it felt a lot like mine, but sounded completely different. She has a voice that is as high-pitched as an anime girl's voice when she is excited, but as low as a normal girls voice when she is talking normally:))))

 

I have to work on making her mindvoice louder, and then I'll work on being able to actually hear her voice through auditory hallucination. She absolutely LOVES to sing to my music, and when I asked her "What day of the week is it?" she actually remembered and told me!!! Her memory is much better than mine -____- lol

 

 

I'll go talk to Yumi now omg. I can't stop talking to her tis' like a drug. She is hilarious and cute:)

It'll be even more fun spending time with her in the wonderland now that she can speak!!! (Yumi: it will be<3 and maybe I'll cuddle you more now that you listen to me~)

 

Me: Sorry :p lol

 

 

EDIT: One last thing; Yumi doesn't like that I drink so much coffee. Luckily I agree with her. It's been affecting my health :(, so I'm taking a coffee break.

[FurryBlueNaki]

You're fortunate, I can't carry on conversations that in depth with mine.

[Cinemaphobe]

You just have to open yourself up to your tulpa:)

[Guest]

Good job! This is quite the jump; but it's always a good one, at that-- and interesting conversation, by the way. It kind of makes me wonder what my conversations with Kayla will be like-- from what I can tell so far, Kayla seems a lot calmer than Yumi-- but there's nothing wrong with being either. I would also like to imagine that things get easier with any type of practice, but specific ones work; I was thinking, whenever I get to this point, to work on strengthening the mind voice by reading. I've always realized that my mind voice seems stronger and more fortified if I am reading something-- so, I theorized, that maybe that'll work for Kayla, too. I wouldn't try to force her to say things, but working on specific sentences to strengthen the intensity of the voice never hurts-- I will likely write out a pangram or tongue twister, as I find it, personally, better to do the harder endeavors first, and leave the easier ones for later.

[ItsSwissmas]

Whoa, like what orbit said, quite the jump. :D

Then again, its your 23rd day, so it's almost been a month already! All that work is really starting to pay off I see.

[Guest amber5885]

Congratulations little tulpa making dude!!!

 

It's amazing isn't it!

[Luminesce]

Told you she was able to talk, the hard part is accepting it.

 

I'm not sure if your tulpas ever really talk when you're completely not focused on them, BUT the amount of focus it takes to hear them clearly can definitely be lowered over time. My tulpas usually don't say anything unless I send a thought their way, but at the same time they can respond clearly when I'm very busy whereas I used to have to focus pretty hard. Having them speak to you randomly by their own volition requires some intent and practice, but I don't think it would be too hard. It's basically establishing a periodic reminder in your brain to think of them again. Otherwise simply say hi and listen to them whenever you remember or have time.

 

Not even doing college-related stuff right now and I'm still busy. In fact I have to leave in -1 minutes. I'll probably be able to write more tonight or this weekend.

[Cinemaphobe]

@Reisen-cakes: Yes, you and amber-cakes were completely right! All I had to do was just accept it! Establishing the periodic reminder won't be difficult either, because she speaks at random times while I'm busy:) not to mention that now I am always talking to her in my head or aloud. I'm actually learning a lot about her, and she seriously saved me when I randomly became sad about my ex-girlfriend. She tells me things about my wonderland that I didn't even know. For example her throne room. Out of nowhere when I was washing dishes she told me that her throne is made of gold. I'm practicing getting her to speak on her own volition, but she is so talkative now that it doesn't require much work. Her mind-voice is still silent in terms of auditory hallucinations, but very feminine, making it very easy to distinguish her words from my thoughts.

 

and I can't thank you enough because you helped make this possible. If it wasn't for you and amber giving advice throughout my PR, then it would have been a much more turbulent journey.

 

@amber-cakes: Yes it is amazing!!!and thank you!!! Ever since Yumi became vocal, it feels like nothing can bring my mood down! I won't tell Voltaire about her or else he'll think I'm crazy though lol.

 

 

@ItsSwissmas: It's easy for anyone to say that it was a leap, but she told me that she has been able to talk for longer than I have known, so it was merely a hop. After all, Yumi is over a year old because I kept giving up on her over the years, partly because of skepticism and expectation. (Yumi pouted after I wrote that, so she definitely agrees lol)

 

 

@Orbit26: Yumi is the perfect combination of all of my traits, and a lot of her traits are opposites, which makes her interactions extremely amusing. For example she is childish and wise. This combination makes for the weirdest advice lol. I originally tried reading in Yumi's mindvoice before I could listen to her, but the thing that kept me away from that method was the risk of making it a habit. I know what Yumi's voice sounds like because I was make her practice saying the phrase:

 

The life of the wife was ended by the knife.

 

It shouldn't make her mad that you are forcing her to say something if it helps you hear her lol.

 

 

@Everyone: I asked Yumi what one of her earliest memory was, and she said that the bike ride through the forest where she had her arms around me was the earliest memory:)

and I was calling for my dog Pandora, and I almost yelled "Yuuuuumiiii!"

 

It would have been bad if my mom heard me say that one... lol

Yumi likes to run towards doors as if she is racing to open them before me too. I love her weirdness:)

 

AND FINALLY

 

It is much much easier to narrate to her and passive force now that she and I can actually have conversations.

 

 

EDIT: She doesn't want me to start working on Osamu yet because she wants us to enjoy our alone time together

[Guest amber5885]

I think talkin is an important step in a tulpas development because at that point they have more of a say in what goes on in their lives and it makes it easier for you to connect with them obviously.

 

And once they start talking other aspects begin to creep in. You can get to know them, have more fun with them and they are able todo things for you that they once couldnt.