Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

[Cinemaphobe]

DAY 21

 

 

 

Last night I tried to lucid dream. For the first dream, I wasn't lucid enough. For the second dream, I was too lucid.

In the second dream I was so conscious of everything that I was simultaneously conscious of my body in RL. As soon as I started asking Yumi to speak, I woke up from the weak lucid dream. Still, despite the failure, I made some progress.

 

 

Lately I have been overdosing on coffee because of an impending feeling of emptiness. As people have comfort food, I have coffee; my comfort liquid. I felt really empty because it felt like Yumi was withdrawing from me... Throughout the day it has been harder to feel her presence, and listen to her... So I went to my bed and didn't move for 1 hour and 30 minutes. I was so close to entering a dream, but felt an excruciating pain in my elbow because of its position and called off the entire session. I then felt sad, and missed the feeling of Yumi being around, so I started to play Yumi's favorite music through my speakers. I immediately felt a rush of happiness, and felt Yumi's presence again, as if she lived inside of the music! The happiness was so intense that it brought me to tears, and from then on I passive forced Yumi beside me for the rest of the day...I'm so glad that she is back with me...Jumping around and being cute :3

 

What I need to work on is passive forcing, or else I'll only be able to focus on Yumi within the isolation of my bedroom. Passive forcing feels more intimate than active forcing anyways.

 

Thank god for Nu-disco though.

 

My head-pressures stopped a few days ago, which is something I should have mentioned on my PR. Subsequently, Yumi has become more vocal, so this can't be a coincidence. Yumi can speak, but I can't hear her because of some subconscious reasoning and tulpa-deafness. If I break my mental barriers, then I should be able to hear Yumi as fluently as I heard her during my first conversation with her!

 

So my new objectives are:

 

1. Eliminate any harmful beliefs or skepticism from my conscious/subconscious mind.

2. Passive force much more often.

3. Find my damn tulpa watch.

4. Pray to Obama, the god of commerce.

 

 

P.S: I get to hang out with Voltaire tomorrow YES.

 

 

P.S.S: AMBER-CAKES AND REISEN-CAKES, YOUR ADVICE IS MORE WELCOME THAN IT USUALLY IS. AFTER ALL, YOU BOTH HAVE FULLY DEVELOPED TULPAE.

[Guest amber5885]

One time Toby disappeared for a whole week and I cried so hard because I though he was gone but then I woke up and he was laying there with a flower and told me he just needed a break. He was a little more developed and present after that.

 

Sometimes tulpas need a breather too, she's learning a lot just as you are except she's learning everything you already know so I can imagine its pretty exhausting.

 

Toby: you know how after learning something in school or on your own that's particularly detailed or taxing and it takes a lot out of you mentally and you feel like you have to sleep or at least rest?

 

That's exactly what's going on. We need to do the same thing it just that we can go much longer periods of time in between breaks.

 

When I go quiet usually I'm off in the "wonderland" ....i really hope you can hear my eyes rolling when I say that lol. I hate that word. I go to my happy place. That's better, yeah I go to my little space of her psyche and I guess digest everything we've been working on and everything I've seen and learned.

 

Don't worry about it but it is a good lesson in that you really shouldn't be dependent on her. She should be able to do her own thing and you, your own thing at times and both of you be okay. I know it's weird, I dont like being away from Amber at all but part of what makes a relationship healthy, any relationship is the ability to both be together and be apart happily.

 

Hope I helped.

---

Toby: also passive forcing is great, that's how I live like 99% of the time and I love it. Amber die her thing and I do my thing like this morning she was dicking around online, I would say working on her book but she was on Facebook pretending to be busy and I was reading a book in the Livingroom and making noises to bother her.

 

She hates it hen I sip coffee too loud of clear my throat. Mostly cuz she knows I don't have to do it I just know it annoys her lol!

 

Learn to passive force it's amazing when you can finally parallel process and concentrait on us while your doing your own thing. It's like we're really there with you.

 

Amber: I was not dicking around online.

 

Toby: Facebook isn't writing a book. Facebook is Facebook.

 

Amber: my agent lives on Facebook. It's the only way I can talk to her.

 

Toby: YOU WERE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF CATS AND YOJ WRITE BOOKS A OUT WERWWOLVES THOSE THINGS ARE NOT RELATED!

 

Amber: don't judge me Judgy........

 

 

.......sorry.

[Cinemaphobe]

Lol Amber-cakes and Toby! Thanks!!!

 

Holy sweet Morgan-Freeman induced Jesusitis, I can't believe that I never considered that fact that Yumi might need a break!!! As usual, you have proven to be a provider of invaluable advice!!! Dayum that was quite the morale boost. Thank you for giving me peace!!! Everything you said helped so much...

 

omg omg omg omg omg

 

I'LL EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION THROUGH SYNCHRONIZED DANCE AND SONG.

[Guest amber5885]

I just pictured you doing the squid ward interpretive dance from spongebob lmao!!

[Cinemaphobe]

LOL

 

Perhaps I'll post a video of me doing that dance perfectly. But then you and the rest of my dear readers will be scarred for life.

[Guest amber5885]

Dooooo ittttttt!!!!!!

[Cinemaphobe]

Hehehehe

[lyraheartstrings]

I wouldn't mind seeing such a video. X3 Though, I think I'll keep of what I have of my sanity. lol

[Guest]

Hello! This might not be the most constructive nor appropriate introduction to your Progress Report, but sooner is better, I would say. I don't really have any advice for your latest encounter-- Amber appears to helped there already. Though, I will try to check out your next bit of progress, and give you my thoughts-- as long as they are welcomed, that is. Good job, so far, on Yumi!

[ItsSwissmas]

I think tails are cute to be honest, but that's only my opinion. ^_^

 

Also I'm glad that your tulpa is making you so happy, I hope she becomes more talkative soon.

 

Oh, there's also the chatrooms some people from here use with their tulpas, which you and Yumi can use in the near future to talk and meet with some other tulpas and their creators. :)

 

Edit: Haha sorry, I'm still new to this website, so I only saw the first page of this thread, my mistake! :D