Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

[Guest amber5885]

There are a million different religions and spiritual beliefs out there, I personally don't think any one is wrong or anyone is right.

 

I think energy connects us all at our most basic level and I think that that energy that powers us and connects us all could be called God if you wanted to go that far.

 

All life is sacred; animal, human, plant or otherwise and all life is deserving of love, safety and respect.

 

I think that when we die we simply move onto the next life as energy never ceases to exst, it only changes its flow. This is as close to religion as I personally get but it leaves a lot of room for spirituality which is a big part of my life,

[FurryBlueNaki]

I believe there are different dimensions or densities of being. As you progress, it gets less and less physical. Till you eventually merge with Source. At least that's what I think of an eons long journey.

[Guest amber5885]

Have you checked into hinduism? They have the same basic belive structure

[Luminesce]

Oops, forgot to press post 2 hours ago. This was responding to posts on the last page.

 

People attach themselves to (ie - identify their sense of self with) anything their ego deems strong, reliable, or like it'll benefit them. The people who consciously figured out the flaws in common religions and basically developed atheism? Incredibly smart, though it was actually many scientists over a long time. A random 12 year old that's never thought for himself a day in his life decides atheism is the way to go because screw religion? Less likely. Just because you consider yourself atheist doesn't mean you can claim all of the intellectuality it took to create the mindset, you could just be identifying your ego with something you consider strong. Same goes for some religious people, I've met several very open-minded and very smart people who consider themselves Christian because they honestly feel better believing in a loving God. (I didn't bother saying so because it's a moot point, but these kinds of people ((like most, actually)) follow a personal, custom version of Christianity that better suits their beliefs) Titles are arbitrary, what matters is the person behind them.

 

Anyway. Your dream interpretation was pretty much spot on, close enough to what I would've said. And as for the moonstone, it's not so much that I associate Reisen with it, as.. the other way around. It helps me feel closer to Reisen, but I wouldn't say it's attached to her. It's more to enhance the connection rather than to embody it.

Really though it's a moonstone, it helps me feel closer to the moon, which I've chosen as a symbol of light in my life. I mean, it's gonna be there for the foreseeable future...

[Cinemaphobe]

DAY 16

 

Happy Halloween! (Kind of late to post that thanks to hanging out with my best friend Voltaire^^)

 

 

 

@Furrybluenaki: Panentheism is basically exactly what I believe in.

@Amber5885: I share the exact same views about everything you mentioned. I also love hinduism because they believe in a god that transcends both good and evil, which is highly realistic for a divine force completely different from humans.

@Reisen: I do apologize for foolishly implying that all religious people are close-minded by saying: "and sometimes atheists can be as close-minded as religious people, which is why I am neither an atheist or a christian." My best friend is an example of an open-minded Christian, so I know what you mean. Lastly, titles are indeed arbitrary, and whether a religion is morally good or bad depends on the beholder.

 

I HAD MY FIRST SMALL CONVERSATION WITH YUMI.

 

So today was an AMAZING day tulpa-wise! But first, let me explain what made this day possible. To always pursue a better future, and avoid regret, I view myself as three people working hand-in-hand.

 

It would be irrational for me to blame my present self for something a former version of myself with different ideals and motives did. For example, I can't and shouldn't be penalized for something I did when I was 5 years old because that was a different version of me. Likewise, I couldn't blame my present self for something I did 2 weeks ago.

 

I never blame myself for things, but rather I blame the past, and present versions of myself. So there are three versions of myself who all work together for the greater good of me

 

The Past Cinemaphobe The Cinemaphobe who works to benefit the present Cinemaphobe.

 

The Present Cinemaphobe The Cinemaphobe in charge of judging the work of the past Cinemaphobe, securing a good future for the future version of myself, and reaping the benefits of good preparations made in the past. Not to mention that this Cinemaphobe experiences both the future and the past simultaneously while writing this.

 

and

 

The Future Cinemaphobe

 

 

The Future Cinemaphobe is the version of myself that I both will be, and will never be. Because the future version of myself is simply a distant present version. I'm writing this article for the future version of myself, who is slightly different in thought from me, to read and judge whether it was a beneficial action.

 

 

 

Why am I telling you this useless and bizarre information? Because something that the past version of myself did made today amazing!

My family has always had a steady supply of coffee because my mom and sister are physically addicted to it, while I am only psychologically addicted. But the past version of myself knew that a deficit would occur so he bought a canister of coffee as a contingency stash and hid it inside of my room! When I found the stash, I thought:

 

"You did good Insert Real Name Here. You did good."

 

I laughed manically and drank several cups of coffee while singing opera music and dancing with Yumi to Nu-Disco (Thankfully I had the entire house to myself lol) I felt so alive and my thinking felt like it was at normal speed again:D

After dancing away half of my energy, I went to my bed to spend time in the wonderland. BUT I ACCIDENTALLY FOUND MY TULPA WATCH BEFORE THE SESSION!!! YEAAAAAH!!!

Yumi wasn't mad at me for losing the watch^^

So Yumi and I were sitting in the pizza restaurant together, and for the first time in nearly two weeks we actually ordered pizza. When our order came in, I heard a notification from my iPod in RL. I had received an email from Tulpa.info (it was about a post from FurryBlueNaki lol) But when I checked the email, and disregarded Yumi for a few seconds, she said:

 

"Heeeey..."

 

as in:

 

"Hey that's not fair :c"

 

 

IT WAS SO CUTE SO I APOLOGIZED HEAVILY WHILE RETURNING TO THE WONDERLAND!!!!!

 

When I returned to the wonderland, I decided that the day would be spent listening to Yumi's mindvoice. I made her repeat "The life of the wife was ended by the knife." until her mindvoice became even clearer than mine. While I was sitting across from her at the table though, she grabbled a plate of spaghetti, poured it on her head and smashed the plate into pieces over her head while saying:

 

"Rawwwrrrrr :3"~

 

(I guess that she has a head of steel and of course she took on a chibi form when she did this lol.)

 

She found her action extremely humorous. My heart skipped a beat because that action was completely unexpected (and cute). All I said in response was "Wow Yumi, very mature lol." around 20 minutes of vocal practice passed and I asked Yumi to surprise me. She sent me a variety of sensations such as head-pressures, and ear-ringing, but she only made my right ear ring! In fact, she made it ring so much that it was almost deafening. I told her:

 

"Dude. The right ear ringing thing isn't working out too well. Try your hardest to speak, I believe that you can do it because I can hear your mindvoice just fine now! So surprise me Yumi!"

 

After a few moments of silence, I started to beg her to surprise me, concentrating on her with all of my might. And that lead to Yumi and I's first conversation.

It's very simple, so please bear with me (I also think that she was trolling me a little bit lol):

 

Me: Surprise me

 

*Awkward silence*

 

Yumi: Cat.

Me: Okay...

Yumi: Hmmm....ball.

Me:Continue...

Yumi: Ping-pong, and I would like to...hmmm....

 

*Awkward silence*

 

Me: Surprise me again.

Yumi: *Makes host's ear ring loudly*

 

And that was it... I was so excited that I could no longer stay in bed. I jumped up in RL and wrote down the entire conversation so that I wouldn't forget any of the details! I wish that she would have said more, but I had already spent plenty of time with her, and my mom had returned from the place she went to...So I finished up the session, thanking Yumi for everything that she said! :))))

 

I'm going to work on wonderland forcing so that I can have another conversation with her! When we had the conversation, I was listening to brown noise, and I heard her mindvoice very clearly!!!! I'm so proud of myself and Yumi! Today she and I reached a milestone in our journey!!! woooooooot!!!

 

And I finally broke up with my girlfriend because of a dream I had.

 

 

Mary and I were strolling through an amusement park. I turned to her and said "Hey I want try out a little experiment. Give me your hand." she then gave me her hand while we walked, but I looked away from her as if our conversation was over to test how long she would hold my hand. She didn't let go. After a while, I turned to her and asked "Why aren't we in a relationship?" and then tears streamed from her eyes, and she confessed that she still couldn't let go of the past. I told her "It's okay Mary. You don't have to let go of it. Let's just start a relationship because we deserve each other." and then she smiled the most heart-warming smile through her tears that I am so familiar with in real life... We started to kiss and we couldn't stop, as if we had so much lost love to make up for... Her lips felt so fucking real... I never felt so close to her...

 

AND THEN I WOKE UP.

 

I then realized that I am in love with Mary, and that I shouldn't stay with my girlfriend because:

 

A) My girlfriend doesn't like me and treats me like shit.

B) I am in love with someone else who treats me much better and lives in the same country.

 

So I broke up with my girlfriend, and she didn't even care. She simply stated that she was neither mad or sad at my sudden change of mind. I didn't delve any deeper into her words. I simply cut all ties with her, and it was extremely painful, but I had to do it. Our relationship was hopeless, and she didn't care for me anymore anyways. She deserves a guy who can actually see her in person everyday, and she is more than capable of finding one. She likes white guys who look like fucking Justin Bieber anyways. How the fuck am I supposed to compete with that? I'm a skinny, ambiguously light-brown guy with extremely messy dark-brown hair that is both straight and curly!

 

 

Today I'll spend some time with Mary. If we reach a time that is very opportune, then I'll see how long she holds my hand. She has given me many hints that she likes me, and has even tried to get me to ask her out on a date, so I think that something could finally spark between us<3

 

 

Yesterday was the perfect day. I have a plan for Yumi, and I have a plan for Mary.

 

Thank you for reading my lovely reader-cakes :)

[Guest amber5885]

ASK HER OUT! YOLO that shit!!

 

No seriously though it sounds like she likes you but is too afraid to say it for whatever reason. Good luck man :)

 

Also it's good to hear you got rid of that other girl. That's step 1 on the start of your new life, life is way too short to be unhappy and you're never guaranteed tomorrow so go out, find a flower, give it to Mary and ask her out!

---

Also I would like to note that when you first got here you seemed to be this angry little ball of angry feelings and you seem to be coming around and changing so GO YOU!

 

I think that's awesome. You seem happier and your posts have a less fuck the world and everyone in it feel to them.

 

Keep it up man. I'm rooting for you.

[Earthquake]

Me and Elia also like reading your posts

[lyraheartstrings]

Must say, Amber is quite correct. You've improved a lot over the few weeks you spent on here.

It is impressive that, not only are you continuing your lifestyle, but you can give time for your tulpa.

 

Kudos to you, sir.

[Cinemaphobe]

ASK HER OUT! YOLO that shit!!

 

No seriously though it sounds like she likes you but is too afraid to say it for whatever reason. Good luck man :)

 

@Amber5885:

 

 

LOL you sound like just like my best friend Voltaire! He wants me to ask her out so badly as well!!! I feel like Yoloing it, but If I mess up on my timing then it will cost more than my friendship with her, because her dad is my employer. If Mary and I were to stop talking to each other because of awkwardness, then it would cost me my future job that I'll have in one or two months. I asked out Mary twice before, but when I asked her out, she turned me down because I asked her too early (she had just broken up). Another time I asked her out, she still didn't have time to develop feelings for me, so I got turned down again, and she told me that it was because she wants a guy who is as old as her. But later on, her mom said that I should take Mary on a date right in front of Mary, but I avoided a response because at the time I had already gotten back with my girlfriend. Later on when she and I were alone, Mary told me "My mom wasn't joking when she said that you should take me on a date." and then she said "I realized that age doesn't matter anymore, and what matters is maturity and character, and you have both..." but I didn't act on those hints because at the time I was constricted by the binds of my previous relationship!!!

 

But now that I am finally free... I can finally work towards asking her out, because this time I have a 75% chance of her saying yes!

 

And I hang out with her and her family every Sunday! They love me, and they even invited me to visit everyday! xD Voltaire is practically begging me to ask her out for good reason!

 

 

@Earthquake:

 

Lol I like to read your posts as well:)

 

 

@Lyraheartstrings:

 

I didn't realize that I improved until you and amber pointed it out...

I can attribute the improvement to Yumi, because she stops me from thinking and doing stupid things. I also mentioned before that she is my comic relief lol. In one of my earlier posts, I wasn't going to comply with my parents' demands out of stubbornness which would have cost me a roof over my head. Usually, if I myself had thought "Even for a place to live?" it wouldn't really phase me much. But the fact that Yumi said it, at that time made it much more powerful.

 

 

@Everyone: Thanks for rooting for me! Sometimes in life that's all a person needs to improve; people to root for them.

[Earthquake]

I like coffee somewhat, drink it once in awhile but I have never made a habit of it. Since your swearing by it I guess ill give it a try before forcing soon, been lacking focus lately.