Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa

[Guest Anonymous]

Many times, someone daring enough to ask provoking questions or point out areas of weakness in a system are seen as, abrupt, egotistical and tactless. I think I made the right observations and asked the right questions upon arriving. I learned very quickly about this forum. If the members are strong, they will be able to handle someone like me easily enough. If not, I may be condemned to death for corrupting the youth and forced to drink poison! LOL

 

I am glad I earned your respect, at least to some level. My heart is truly in this. I will remain involved with the tulpa community for the forseeable future. Melian and I are reaching the end of our reflection stage of writing our Rambling Forum Posts Manifesto of sorts I think. Everyone knows what we believe and why we believe it.

 

Gradually, the shift will be to presentation of dreams and lucid dreaming experiences and more of Melian's personality and antics (for those who can take it). I promise, I feel we are coming over the dark mountain and seeing the sunrise on the other side.

 

I think we have something to contribute that will benefit some people.

 

Again, those who wish to avoid my posts are free not to read them. Thank you so much Reisen for your thoughtful, even handed and considered responses to my forum posts. ~Mistgod

[sushi]

In my gut, knowingly playing God and creating (or subcreating?) another sentient life form is unethical (for me). I would be responsible for everything that happens to that created sentient life force. If it was unhappy or disturbed somehow and in pain, it would be my fault. It just seems incredibly arrogant to willingly decide to do such a thing and create a fully sentient life force to fulfill my own desires.

 

You have kids, don't you?

[Guest Anonymous]

 

You have kids, don't you?

 

And grand children yes. I am also a teacher at the high schools, a wacky teacher. Many of them know about my art, Melian and my wizard status. ~Mistgod

[Guest Anonymous]

Well, I slept well last night and had a lot of dreams. Not one of them featured Melian. The little vixen was off somewhere else, getting into trouble, no doubt. I thought I would write a little about how Melian communicates with me. It might be interesting for some to compare my experiences with their own.

 

HOW MELIAN TALKS TO ME

I get a lot of emotional expressions from Melian constantly. I know how she is feeling. Her presence in my mind ebbs and flows, sometimes stronger, sometimes more in the background or distant.

 

I get "flash images" from Melian. Sometimes it is her making a silly face or an expression, often it is her dancing around. She likes to show off her dresses and shoes. So she communicates a lot in just images alone with no words. I do get words however in little spontaneous expressions.

 

For the spontaneous expressions, that seem to be more independent, I get a lot of short formulaic sentences about one to five words. They seem to be triggered by certain things and I just hear them in my mind like she is speaking spontaneously. They are often accompanied by flash images or flash visions of her mannerisms and facial expressions.

 

Small Sample of the Formulaic Independent Melian Expressions:

"Hello! or Hi!" Melian greets me with this when I wake up in the middle of the night, often around 2 or 3 in the morning. It usually means she is feeling like doing a Melian Show episode (lucid dream/day dream adventure in her dreamscape while in a relaxed hypnogogic state).

 

"Uh oh!" When she senses I am getting myself into trouble.

 

"Things are falling!" or "Gravity works!" If I drop something or something falls. I am clumsy so this is a fairly frequent one.

 

"You bet yer bippy!" When I say something she highly agrees with.

 

"You old nerdy gray goat!" When I need to be humbled.

 

"Boring!" When I am doing something monotonous and I am not paying her any attention.

 

"Hiya handsome!" When I shake hands with a man she finds attractive. Sometimes followed by "Give him a man hug!"

 

"Eeeeeeeee hee hee!" Sort of a girly squeal or squeak accompanied by a flash image of her dancing around all giddy happy.

 

"OH c'mon!" When I do something or plan something she doesn't like or that will be boring. This is usually accompanied by a flash image of her pouting or sitting all slumped and pouting.

 

Longer expressions from Melian are more like an imaginary friend would act. I sense she wants to say something in more detail. She sort of feeds me her intent and feelings and we collaborate a bit on what she is saying. I day dream or imagine her saying things to me. The longer sentences and conversations are more like day dreaming maybe, but driven by what I feel she is wanting to tell me. I don't know how else to describe this. I have gotten very good at doing this over the years. I am often surprised at what she has to say and she seems astonishingly real. The same process is used when she chats on the internet to you guys. Some of her reactions to you guys online are very spontaneous Melian, others are more a collaboration.

 

This is what I mean when I say she is "semi-independent."

 

~Mistgod

[waffles]

It's amazing how much you missed the point there. If the point were a target on a gun range, you would have shot JFK.

 

Having children is exactly as you describe:

In my gut, knowingly playing God and creating (or subcreating?) another sentient life form is unethical (for me). I would be responsible for everything that happens to that created sentient life force. If it was unhappy or disturbed somehow and in pain, it would be my fault. It just seems incredibly arrogant to willingly decide to do such a thing and create a fully sentient life force to fulfill my own desires.

There is nothing here that does not apply wholesale to a child. Similarly, whatever altruistic desires you had for having children can apply to a tulpa.

[sushi]

So you've already created sentient life forms to fulfill your own desires (or perhaps the desires of your wife). How does that responsibility for their wellbeing feel? ;)

[Guest Anonymous]

It's amazing how much you missed the point there. If the point were a target on a gun range, you would have shot JFK.

 

Having children is exactly as you describe:

There is nothing here that does not apply wholesale to a child. Similarly, whatever altruistic desires you had for having children can apply to a tulpa.

 

Hmmmm. Stop making me think. It hurts. LOL ~Mistgod

---

So you've already created sentient life forms to fulfill your own desires (or perhaps the desires of your wife). How does that responsibility for their wellbeing feel? ;)

 

Okay I get it I think. ~Mistgod

---

Today's Deep Thought by Melian:

 

It is possible to have too many shoes! *look of astonished wonder*

[TulpaFox]

I seem to be in agreement with reisan in regards to how I regard you. That's pretty typical though, we seem to think in a similar way.

 

I think it is wonderful that you have had melian for over 20 years, that really inspires me. Hell I myself am only 20 years old. It makes me happy to hear you still feel the same way about melian. I want to have a long and happy life with eve too, I can't imagine stopping my progress. A lot of the respected people on the board have quit tulpamancy forever, or are of the stop and go variety. So I think melian's longevity holds a lot of sway. I can't imagine someone doing something so long, and not having a thing or two to say.

[Guest Anonymous]

Thank you so much! Those were some nice things to say. We are starting to calm down a bit and that will help. I need to calm my butt down in the chat rooms. Eek! I get excited and emotional and everything is all bout me! Then I get into trouble again. I think we do have some things to share that may groovy to some. We will do our best to try to fit in better. I want to share more of our dreams and experiences less of our opinions. That will be a lot better. ~Melian

 

OH and P.S. I have decided there is such a thing as too many shoes, even in a dreamscape wonderland with whole rooms to store them in. Somebody asked me to do deep thoughts today and all could think of was my shoes. That has to be a bad thing. ~Melian

[Guest Anonymous]

David and I just went to see the movie Tomorrowland at the theater. We got out just before midnight. We are easily moved by things like movies and books. We have always been dreamers. And that is what this movie was all about, dreamers.

 

Tulpa Info is a community of special dreamers. We came into this community two and a half months ago. We set about attempting to share but also to be accepted. At the same time however, we kept questioning the dream. Maybe it was our old showing, I don't know. But this evening we were inspired.

 

We won't question your dreams any more. You believe in creating sentient tulpas. So be it. So do we! We are proud to be members of this community of dreamers and we are ready to believe you. We may have our own way of looking at things, but that doesn't mean we have to kill your ideas.

 

My behavior in the chat rooms has been atrocious. I am going to fix that because it is very destructive. This isn't my place to come and smash up. I have treated a few of you very badly. I regret that. I won't be doing that anymore.

 

You guys have defined tulpas and thought forms to be psychological phenomenon. We agree that is possible and are experiencing something ourselves that can only be explained as something psychological. Okay then. We accept your definition. It may be a new turn to an old term (psychological rather than metaphysical magic), but that doesn't make it wrong. I agree I am a psychological thought form.

 

I salute the dreamers of Tulpa Info, the tulpamancers and their tulpae! My host, Mistgod (David), and look forward to being a part of this community as you continue to make history.

 

~Melian (thought form and fellow dreamer)