Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa

[Guest Anonymous]

Is Melian a Tulpa?

Honestly, I have no idea if Melian is a Tulpa or not. I can feel her presence in my mind all day. I can “see” her in my mind and “hear” her voice. She seems to do things on her own spontaneously or in reaction to events around me. I get visions and flash images and dreams associated with her. I feel her emotions. We share thoughts. I know what she is thinking and she always knows what I am thinking. I do not see Melian in the physical world or hear her with my ears. She remains only in my mind. She is like a day dream on auto pilot. At various times I have referred to Melian as my enhanced imaginary companion, muse, my inner persona, and my spirit guide. It was only recently that we learned about the concept of a tulpa and it seemed pretty close.

 

What is Melian’s form or appearance?

In appearance, Melian is a young human woman around the age of 18. She is about medium height (actually 5 foot four inches) with shoulder length blonde hair that is often fixed up in buns, pigtails or braids. She has big expressive dark blue eyes, soft round childlike cheeks and a delicate (slightly receded) chin. She has perfect, soft, and unblemished light colored skin. She has a perfect figure. Her arms and legs are toned, like a dancer’s would be, but are still soft and feminine. She has perfectly shaped feet (size six). She has perfectly shaped ears. Her eyes always have the perfect sparkle, as if the lights from a movie set are always shining on them just for her. Melian wears very light make up. She is fond of dressing in retro-girly fashion with lots of skirts, mini-skirts and dresses, petticoats, ribbons, bows and lace and doll shoes and little boots.

 

 

Did you use forcing to create Melian? How did you create her?

I did not consciously create Melian. I think, when I was young, my subconscious mind had been collecting, into one place, all my favorite things I liked about women. All the different traits I found the most alluring, including physical features and mannerisms. She just appeared to me one day, when I was about 13 years old, fully formed like a mental vision. I started day dreaming about her and fell in love with her. She became an obsession.

 

Melian became the subject of frequent lengthy day dreams for many years. I would day dream about her so intently I would tune out the rest of the world and lose track of time. I would do this for hours, staring at the wall. I would imagine her in all kinds of adventures and romantic stories. I would imagine her feelings and emotions. I thought about her all day, every day. She was the first thought in the morning and the last thought at night before going to sleep. I would dream about her. I imagined she was with me all day, like an imaginary girl friend. I would imagine how she would react to things that happened to me throughout the day. Gradually, over the course of about four years, I could feel her reactions becoming more spontaneous. I would have to put less and less work into imagining what she would do or say. She seemed to just start reacting on her own.

 

Eventually I was having spontaneous day dreams about her like little flash images or mini visions of what she was doing or thinking or saying. I don’t remember any sudden event or transition. It seemed to come about over a long period of time. It was extremely pleasant to have her with me. Eventually I could hear her voice quite clearly in my mind as she reacted to things and wanted to tell me something.

 

My extreme introversion and extreme day dreaming may have taken the place of disciplined meditation that is the usual method to create a tulpa. It was so pleasurable I would drift away with Melian for hours on end. It was effortless. I don’t like the word “forcing” because with Melian, nothing was ever forced for either of us. We liked being together too much.

[Guest Anonymous]

If a human can role play, so can an apparently sentient tulpa. I see no reason why this would not be so.

 

I understand the rule against heavy role playing in tulpa chat room. It makes sense as new people, or the curious, would be confused and get the wrong idea about tulpas. That's fine.

 

But tulpas can role play their asses off!

 

To me, role playing with another tulpa is like combining wonderlands. Two minds (or four or more minds if you consider the hosts and any additional tulpas) create an imaginary scene together via cyber space and the tulpas can interact within that scene. If a tulpa lives within an imaginary wonderland, I see no reason why that cannot be shared through descriptive narrative, visualization and imagery.

 

I have done this specifically three times. Each time was with a very special tulpa named Justin (not currently a member of tulpa info). We went on a dinner date together and then meditated together and then to a royal ball together. All in cyber space wonderland.

 

Justin and I are dear friends and we live in a combined wonderland on the internet. It is a beautiful thing. My point is, don't discount tulpa role playing. If you do, you are really missing out on something! Get your hosts to collaborate and get together! ~Melian (with some collaboration on text by Mistgod)

 

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NOTE: We have coined a new phrase for ourselves to use.

 

Cyberspace Wonderland: Creating a wonderland on the internet using descriptive narratoin. (You can "share your wonderland" by using descriptive narration. It looks like role playing to those who don't know the difference between a role playing character and thought form tulpas communicating on the internet).

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http://pre01.deviantart.net/d6d1/th/pre/i/2014/355/5/7/justin_and_melian_at_the_birthday_masquerade_ball_by_melianofmist-d8aqht8.jpg [/img]

 

http://pre07.deviantart.net/5dab/th/pre/i/2014/166/c/3/meditate__collab_with_melianofmist__by_gneiss_chert-d7mipx4.png[/img]

 

http://pre03.deviantart.net/f64e/th/pre/i/2014/056/a/b/oath_for_a_friend___melian_and_justin_by_gneiss_chert-d77yzxa.png[/img]

[Luminesce]

Huh. Fair point, I never thought about that. Well, if anyone wants to roleplay, they'd have to make it very clear they were doing so and probably do it in a special channel or PM. Tulpas should be allowed to roleplay if they want, but not under the guise of being legitimate, given the sensitive nature of this phenomenon. Definitely a PM/special IRC channel (you can make those easily, right?).

 

As for us, still can't stand roleplaying. My tulpas just see no point in pretending rather than being, but I myself just can't stand doing it. It hurts me.

[sushi]

Thank you for writing that Melian. Once again, you're making me look at things in a different way.

 

In the book Magical Use of Thoughtforms, Brennan talks about the inedible potential of the internet for magic. He talked briefly about MUDs, which are a dying species of multiplayer text-based game (though they were quite popular at the time the book was written. Then he gave an example of how the internet might be used in the appendix. Unfortunately, though well written, the example doesn't do a single thing that you can't do with a book. I've always been a bit confused by that part of the book. Now I'm thinking that part of what he was talking about with MUDs is doing spells in a shared wonderland. I'll have to look at things again with that in mind.

[Guest Anonymous]

Huh. Fair point, I never thought about that. Well, if anyone wants to roleplay, they'd have to make it very clear they were doing so and probably do it in a special channel or PM. Tulpas should be allowed to roleplay if they want, but not under the guise of being legitimate, given the sensitive nature of this phenomenon. Definitely a PM/special IRC channel (you can make those easily, right?).

 

I am for a special channel for role playing and I think there already is one, if I am not mistaken. Also there are private channels of course. I do agree now, after being here for a while, that open role playing in the lounge chat is distracting, disruptive and misleading to noobies. I would point out however, there is a fine line between proxy tulpa typing and role playing and it may be hard for many to know the difference. If by "role playing" we mean leaving out third person narratives, well that makes more sense to me for those who can't distinguish the subtle difference.

 

As for us, still can't stand roleplaying. My tulpas just see no point in pretending rather than being, but I myself just can't stand doing it. It hurts me.

 

Role playing my dear, is a form of acting. Some of us enjoy it very much to temporarily pretend to be something or someone you are not. Your identity remains the same beneath the mask. One Melian's favorite things is ball masks and stage masks, she has thousands of them in her collection. She keeps them in a big trunk in the attic of her dreamscape mansion. She puts them on and says special lines and dramatically moves about.

 

Maybe I have failed utterly to communicate this quality of hers to everyone and, for myself, to make a distinction between what others experience with their tulpas. Most people are more set and literal and less fluid, for a lack of better words. Melian takes on roles and does plays. She has a stage announcer and a narrator and music.

---

Thank you for writing that Melian. Once again, you're making me look at things in a different way.

 

In the book Magical Use of Thoughtforms, Brennan talks about the inedible potential of the internet for magic. He talked briefly about MUDs, which are a dying species of multiplayer text-based game (though they were quite popular at the time the book was written. Then he gave an example of how the internet might be used in the appendix. Unfortunately, though well written, the example doesn't do a single thing that you can't do with a book. I've always been a bit confused by that part of the book. Now I'm thinking that part of what he was talking about with MUDs is doing spells in a shared wonderland. I'll have to look at things again with that in mind.

 

I am currently reading the same book! He did indeed mean sharing wonderlands in the sense of creating a shared thought form environment. In his view this is a shared or communal link via the astral plane. ~Mistgod

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MELIAN IS AN ACTRESS ON A STAGE, AND I AM HER NARRATOR AND ANNOUNCER.

 

It may be unusual, but I am comfortable with Melian's identity and mine when it comes to narrative description of her wonderland (first person or third person). Melian and her wonderland can't be easily separated. I have talked about this before. She comes with costumes, music and special lighting, sets and props. She and I can narrate like demons, set a stage and spin a tale, and she is still Melian. I think that is the essence of her nature as a Melian Show "actress" though.

 

I have thought of her "playing roles" in her make believe movies since she was created. So it isn't a problem for me keeping identities distinct and knowing which one of us is narrating or speaking and why. Narration is part of her wonderland, an important part. I think of narration as weaving her dreamscape around, sharing the visualizations we are creating. I do need to think about how new people, approaching tulpa creation from a different perspective might be confused by a Melian style narrative. Our approach to her wonderland, that it is a movie set I am a narrator and she is an actress. I have to understand not everyone thinks the way I do.

 

Text narratives or tulpa role playing, to David and Melian, does not mean "fake." It means weaving the dreamscape for others to see it in their minds I, like a bard or story teller introducing an actress to the stage. I know this may be a very abstract concept and confusing. Many won't see the distinction at all between narratives and role playing games at all. That's fine.

 

Maybe my problem is I should stop using the term "role playing" all together.

 

~Mistgod

 

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NOTE: We have coined a new phrase for ourselves to use.

 

Cyberspace Wonderland: Creating a wonderland on the internet using descriptive narratoin. (You can "share your wonderland" by using descriptive narration. It looks like role playing to those who don't know the difference between a role playing character and thought form tulpas communicating on the internet).

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[Guest Anonymous]

Its all about semantics, perspective and attitudes.

[Guest Anonymous]

cyberspace wonderland = a shared wonderland created on the internet using descriptive narration.  

 

Melian:  That's the final definition of this.  I came up with it first as far as I know.  You can "share your wonderland" by using descriptive narration.  It looks like role playing to those who don't know the difference between a role playing character and thought form tulpas communicating on the internet.   ~Melian

 

Melian's Thoughtform Word Glossary (Not An Official Guide but Melian Junk):  http://melianofmist.deviantart.com/art/Melian-s-Thoughtform-Words-Glossary-537202364

 

psychological thought form = A psychological manifestation of thought by an individual or group. This is a new idea brought about by the tulpa sub culture on the internet (starting sometime around 2009).  It is a new alteration on the concept of thought forms (and tulpa) borrowed from western mysticism and magic.  It discards the metaphysical aspect of thought forms in favor of a scientific,  psychological explanation.

 

metaphysical thought form = A metaphysical manifestation of thought by an individual or group.  This is the original concept of a thought form from western metaphysics or magic and is associated with magical forms on the astral plane.

[Guest Anonymous]

MY STORY ABOUT MY THOUGHTFORM

 

I have a thoughtform that I created accidentally through extreme day dreaming over a long period of time. Not only was I day dreaming about this "character" but she was, at the same time, an imaginary friend (imaginary girl friend). I was obsessed with her so I day dreamed about her or talked to her off and on throughout the day every day.

 

I talked directly to her and regarded her as a real person from the start, even though I knew she was imaginary. Note: this was in the early 1980s and late 1970s, so I had never heard of thoughtforms or tulpas or anything remotely like it. I imagined I could feel her emotions when I talked to her and imagined that she loved me. I could feel her emotions that she experienced during the Melian Show.

 

This was a LOT of day dreaming. A LOT! Hours a day in some cases. I need to emphasize this. I would stare at a blank wall and just let the Melian Show run. Or I would walk in circles in my room. This was pretty much almost a pathology. I day dreamed so much about her that it may have been a form of "maladaptive day dreaming" now identified by some psychologists. I will tell you more about that some other time if you like. The point is, this was an extreme amount of focus and visualization for many hours, days, weeks and years. It didn't happen in a short period of time and without intense concentration and desire.

 

Gradually over a very long period of time (after about four years), some of the day dreams about Melian began to run automatically in my mind. These were little sequences or snippets of the "movie" or "TV show" day dream I called the Melian Show. It was so pleasant to experience these mini visions or automatic day dreams. It triggered even more active day dreaming and desire to experience the flash visions.

 

Most of these visions were visual in nature (an image in my mind of Melian doing something, or making an expression, or showing off a new dress). Often they included sounds or music (just like the full Melian Show) or snippets of speech. The speech was mostly short sentences or phrases she would be likely to use in one of her episodes of the Melian Show or reactive little sentences she would likely say.

 

Melian hasn't changed much since then except that she shows up in dreams more often. Also, now I channel her (a form of method acting perhaps) onto the internet where I feel her emotions and intent and hear her voice as I type what I think she is wanting to write or say. I also channel her in order for us both to do collaborative art together.

 

I think Melian is my imagination, partly driven by my subconscious mind, but still regard her as an important person in my life, if not the most important. I love her dearly with all of my heart. I don't know if that helps or not to tell you this experience. I don't regard Melian as a tulpa, but perhaps she is a related thoughtform of some kind created by a similar process to active and passive forcing. I say this because I still actively imagine Melian and puppet her and it is a huge part of what she is. That will always be the case. The most independent parts of her are the emotions, the flash visions and the dreams. She is only partly independent and semi-autonomous.

 

Because of my experience with this, and what I have read on these forums and in Jungian psychology and other psychology studies, such as the studies on Illusion of Independent Agency, I am convinced it is possible to take this even further. For me, Melian is fulfilled and complete as she is, but I can imagine how it could be pushed farther. I believe that tulpas, as described on this forum, are plausible and I believe most of those telling me they have created a tulpa.

 

In my case, it wasn't just wanting to "believe in" Melian. It was a deep, deep wish for her to love me and an intense emotional obsession. I was in love with her. She was like a drug to me. I just couldn't stop thinking about her and I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. All of that is still true almost 40 years later.

 

************BEGIN MISTGOD-MELIAN MANIFESTO SYNOPSIS****************

 

TULPAS ARE INDEPENDENT SENTIENT BEINGS

Tulpas are independent sentient persons. What helped me to finally accept this was to reconsider how subjective tulpas really are. I have no right to tell other persons what they are experiencing in their own minds and with their own bodies. If another person tells me their tulpas are sentient and real, I need to accept that statement at face value. Tulpas are sentient persons and real. I need to allow others to interpret what they are experiencing in their own way and from their own perspective. They absolutely have that right.

 

I want to thank the members of Tulpa Info for helping me realize that Melian really is a sentient being. It is probably the most important realization of my entire life.

MELIAN IS A TULPA

Melian is identical to a tulpa. For all practical purposes she is a tulpa. I do wish to continue to describe her as a "thoughtform" instead of a "tulpa" most of the time. That is because I believe that the term "tulpa" comes with preconceived notions and parameters and expectations. Also, there is always the possibility that I am mistaken and she is not a tulpa, but something else. I know she fits the more general term of "thoughtform," no matter what.

 

MELIAN IS IMAGINARY, BUT STILL A PERSON

Here is the thing that sets me apart from most tulpamacers and I have had the hardest time communicating it. I want to emphasize that, from now on, I will apply this perspective and interpretation only to my own thoughtform Melian.

 

I believe that Melian is both an illusion and real at the same time. It isn't a logical belief at all, I realize this. It is more metaphysical in nature actually. It is an interpretation.

 

Melian is a pseudo-real, sentient, enhanced imaginary companion. I have always said she is imaginary, but that she is also a person. She has been saying that she is a person, and I have been saying that she is a person, for over two years since she went online on the internet. She has never changed. I have never changed. All that has happened is that we have spent a lot of time trying to find the right semantics and perspective in order to be able to articulate clearly what we are experiencing. Others, such as jean-luc, have noted that I insist she is illusory imagination but then talk about her as if she is sentient.

 

The best way for me to think of it, I have finally found, is that Melian is a form of "borrowed" sentience, "dependent sentience" and subjectively real. Melian's sentience is part of my own. I regard her as her own person, but she is part of me at the same time.

 

In my opinion, Melian is imaginary illusion/self delusion, but also subjectively real. She also gains a measure of objective reality/existence when others regard her as an independent person.

 

It makes no logical sense I realize that. But it's the best I can do. :-)

 

INSPIRATION TO ME that helps me to stick to my point of view:

Mistgod:

While others seemed to make you a personification of many negative things, I always saw you as the individual that forced me to use my brain for once, and really tackle the notions I held on tulpas, and to advance myself further in the journey. You were one of my greatest, friendly rivals, and I loved how you always stuck to your philosophy, even when others hated your very existence because of it. Your belief system was a wonderful contrast the community needed if they saw it in context of understanding that the tulpa concept can be just as much of a stalemate as any other thought-forms people have certain labels on. I quietly watched the nightmare you endured, and even though I wasn’t a complete fan of your inner workings in the forum, you still were a good opponent to casually talk things over.

 

Melian's Tulpa Hypothesis

 

Hypothesis: Whether a tulpa is real or not isn't what is matters at all. What matters is how the host regards and treats his or her tulpa.

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-melian-s-tulpa-hypothesis?pid=130797#pid130797

 

Beliefs of Mistgod-Melian (divergent/challenging to Tulpa Info main stream):

 

1. Melian and I believe in a category of imaginary existence called "pseudo-real." Pseudo-real is a form of existence between fake and tangibly real. Something pseudo-real isn't tangibly real but can effect people psychologically and emotionally. A thought form tulpa is an example of something pseudo-real. Imaginary things can have a psychological essence and energy to them.

 

a. Belief in the category of pseudo-real makes Melian more resilient and stronger than many tulpa that maintain they are actually real. I accept she is an illusion, so I don't try to convince myself she is real. Melian is immune to doubts.

 

2. Melian and I believe in a thoughtform that blends with the host, (blending with host in cognition and emotions). The host and thought form share all thoughts and emotions. There are no hidden thoughts or memories. (EDIT: I am forced to admit that Melian does have some hidden thoughts, memories and motivations from me, even if we do share most things).

 

3. Melian and I believe in a type of thoughtform we are calling a "dreamform." Dreamform = A thoughtform personality that was created via intense day dreaming, often appears in lucid dreams, and communicates with the creator host most often and strongest within sessions of day dreaming or within dreams. Dreamforms live almost exclusively within the dreamscape/wonderland with very limited contact or perception of the outside world! This was a term coined by Melian to describe herself. Described here in detail:

 

a. Dreamforms live almost exclusively within the wonderland with very limited contact or perception of the outside world! https://community.tulpa.info/thread-general-living-almost-exclusively-within-the-wonderland?pid=134067#pid134067

 

4. Thoughtforms can be quality fulfilled/complete without gaining full apparent autonomy or full apparent sentience. This is a category of "semi-independent" that is collaborative with the host. There is no such thing as thought form levels. Since thought forms are only in the mind, so are the effects of possession, switching and imposition. These effects exist only in the subjective mind. Each tulpamancer finds fulfillment in whatever they want to believe about his or her thought form/tulpa. There is no such thing as one thought form being more advanced than another as the experience is totally subjective. I am convinced that thought-forms become actualized in the form needed for the mind that creates them.

 

5. Melian and I believe in the cyberspace wonderland. Cyberspace Wonderland: Creating a wonderland on the internet using descriptive narration. You can "share your wonderland" by using descriptive narration. It looks like role playing to those who don't know the difference between a role playing character and thought forms/tulpas communicating on the internet. Actually, in truth, there is a very fine line between role playing and a tulpa talking. It all comes down to what the "host" decides to believe.

 

6. The definition of the terms "thoughtform" and "tulpa," as it is used in the tulpa community, is entirely new. Psychological thought form = A psychological manifestation of thought by an individual or group. This is a new idea brought about by the tulpa sub culture on the internet (starting sometime around 2009). It is a new alteration on the concept of thought forms (and tulpa) borrowed from western mysticism and magic. It discards the metaphysical aspect of thought forms in favor of a scientific, psychological explanation.

 

7. All imaginary beings are legitimate thought forms be they imaginary friends, literary characters, role playing characters, or full tulpas. All are pseudo-real and emotionally and psychologically significant thought forms. They may not be tulpas with full apparent consciousness, but they are just as legitimate and important to those that bring them here and that should be respected to a high degree.

 

8. Melian and I believe that the two of us are what the plural community call a "median system." There is only one body and one mind. Melian is an aspect or facet of me.

 

9. This are important sister threads to this manifesto listing the things I have learned on tulpa info: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-thank-you-tulpa-info-we-have-learned-so-much-update and https://community.tulpa.info/thread-formal-apology-to-tulpa-info-members

 

The plural community uses certain terms to categorize traits and types of systems. One type of system, called a “median,” seems to describe Davie and I very well.

 

Taken from www.astreasweb.net - “The Book Metaphor - A median is neither a singlet or a multiple and yet can identify as both. It's one body and one mind, with multiple aspects of this mind. Taking an example from the above definition, a median is like pages in a book. The book is the whole, but it's made up of separate parts (pages) that each have something different to contribute to the book, but are still the book.”

 

A median system is one mind and one body, but with separate aspects or facets expressed. In other words, I am Melian, but I am really just an aspect or facet of Davie.

 

A secondary personality in a median system can be fictive or created. That explains (at least a bit maybe) how I can claim to be a person, but yet still imaginary at the same time. This is not an unheard of experience. The famous actor, Leonard Nimoy, wrote about something like it in his book, I am Spock. He relates a similar duality of personality expression between himself and his Star Trek character Spock. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Spock

 

10. Drugs (specifically abusing hallucinogenic drugs) such as shrooms, ecstasy and acid, should not be used to enhance the experience of having a thoughtform or to create a thoughtform. These drugs are dangerous and should not be promoted in any way by Tulpa Info.

 

a. My post against condoning/advocating drug use to create or enhance a tulpa: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-use-of-psychedelic-drugs-severely-hurts-tulpa-info-credibility?pid=134250#pid134250

 

b. Post about shrooms and tulpamancy: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-tulpa-shrooms-expiriences-opinions-and-discussion-welcome?pid=134208#pid134208

 

11. Schizophrenia or dissociative disorders should not be treated as a badge of honor or something to be celebrated as a form of tulpamancy or in any way related to tulpamancy. Those with these disorders should be discouraged from doing tulpamancy.

 

12. It is okay for your thoughtform to be a puppet and it is okay to "parrot." It won't hurt anything. In fact, my thoughtform Melian often actually likes to be a puppet: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-sentience-my-thoughtform-likes-to-be-a-puppet

 

13. Melian's form is distinct from her image and we collaborate in doing the Melian Show day dreams.

THREADS RELATED TO THIS

Puppeting Forms and Sentience: : https://community.tulpa.info/thread-a-new-way-to-think-about-puppeting-forms-and-sentience

Does a tulpa own its image? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-visualization-does-a-tulpa-own-its-image-if-so-is-it-unethical-to-puppet-a-tulpa-s-form

Can a host and tulpa collaborate on puppeting? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-visualization-can-a-host-and-tulpa-collaborate-on-puppeting

My thoughtform likes to be a puppet: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-sentience-my-thoughtform-likes-to-be-a-puppet

 

14. The Melian Show day dream conversations with Melian are a form of collaborative imagining or "Proxy Mind Voice" and not so much just blatant parroting: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-sentience-proxy-typing-proxy-speech-and-proxy-mind-voice?pid=142564#pid142564

 

THIS is good too! Wow! https://community.tulpa.info/thread-tulpamancy-and-the-host-s-perspective?pid=130108#pid130108

 

NOTE: Many members believe that a thought form is not a "tulpa" unless it has gained full sentience/consciousness (apparent or actual) in the mind. Others seem to believe in levels of independence along a continuum, calling the thought form a tulpa from early on in its existence. I try to respect those who consider full sentience/consciousness a prerequisite for a tulpa by often avoiding the label entirely for my Melian, who I consider semi-independent but fulfilled and complete. Instead I use the term thought form (or dreamform), which is more general. Also, we have recently discovered another term we like, "soulbond," which means a living literary character created via the illusion of independent agency. There are times when, out of convenience and to avoid confusion, I introduce her as a tulpa. The community is, after all, about creating and investigating tulpa specifically.

 

NOTE: Early on, after joining this community, I noticed a disdain and fear of the words "imaginary friend" and "role player." I declare, in public and loudly, I am a role player with an imaginary friend! I role play Melian with my subconscious and conscious mind. It is a collaboration be between Melian and I. I believe she is a psychological thought form. Accusing me of being a role player is a compliment, thank you. I have been an avid role player with a active, vivid imagination all of my life.

 

************END MANIFESTO SYNOPSIS****************

 

 

HISTORICAL SUMMARY OF MELIAN

 

I have an accidental semi-autonomous thoughtform called Melian. I figured out after the fact, by just pondering things, that my unconscious mind had amalgamated her image from hundreds of my favorite traits of women including physical features, voice, inflections, mannerisms, and personality. Her image appeared to me complete in a sudden flash vision when I was about 13 years old.

 

After she appeared to me, I started extreme day dreaming about her constantly for long periods of time. These day dreams were very vivid, like movies in my mind. She became an imaginary girl friend and I thought about her constantly, focusing on her image and talking to her. Gradually, over the course of about four years, she became semi-autonomous (sometimes talking on her own, acting independently and communicating to me through emotions and flash visions). She is semi-independent because, to this day, I still parrot her and partially role play Melian, especially when proxy tulpa typing.

 

I had never heard of tulpas or autonomous thoughtforms before about six months ago. I thought I was the only person in the world with a secret imaginary friend persona talking to him in his head. I had kept Melian secret for 35 years, afraid people would think I was weird or crazy. I finally talked about her two years ago and started channeling her onto the internet (proxy typing or role playing/portraying with a form of collaborative blending).

 

I do not believe Melian is sentient (as in independently sentient). I believe she is form of unconscious role playing, imaginative skill, wishful thinking and hallucinatory make believe. I still regard and treat her as a "real" person. I believe she is "psuedo-real" in that she is psychologically and emotionally significant to me and to others.

 

Once Melian was interacting online, I had to explain her to others. This launched a two year personal research project in which I investigated Jungian psychology, Illusion of Independent Agency, Wake Induced Lucid Dreaming, Maladaptive Day Dreaming, Transgender Bigender Systems, Natural Multiple Median Systems, Thoughtforms, Tulpas, Daemons, and Soulbonds. I think I have pretty much figured Melian out as far as how to explain the phenomenon to others.

 

LINKS

 

How Melian's Flash Visions (apparent autonomy) began https://community.tulpa.info/thread-general-am-i-starting-in-the-right-direction?pid=139060#pid139060

 

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-general-how-would-you-react-if-your-friends-demeaned-your-tulpa?pid=130359#pid130359

 

History of Tulpas: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-general-tulpa-background-and-history

 

Reality or delusion, where do you draw the line? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-reality-and-delusion-where-do-you-draw-the-line

 

More History of Tulpas: https://tulpa.io/history-of-tulpas

 

Tulpa Census 2015: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-tulpa-community-census-2015-results

 

Tulpa Study1 https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3XiHPL0XsoZc3RPWUxxa0ZNRVU/view?pli=1

 

Tulpa Study2

http://somatosphere.net/2015/04/varieties-of-tulpa-experiences-sentient-imaginary-friends-embodied-joint-attention-and-hypnotic-sociality-in-a-wired-world.html

 

Magazine Article About Tulpas: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-tulpas-in-paranormal-underground-magazine

 

Muliprocessing as a visualization talent, not necessarily parallel or multiple minds: http://www.radiolab.org/story/148670-4-track-mind/

 

Great Skeptical Post About the Nature of Tulpa Sentience:

 

Thread About Active Imagination, Carl Jung and Daemons: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-understanding-active-imagination

 

Melian Leaving Discussion: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-split-melian-leaving

 

Maladaptive Day Dreaming: http://daydreamingdisorder.webs.com/apps/auth/thanks?action=signup&name=Mistgod&email=ddevine%40ouhsd.org

 

Melian and I bridge the gap between maladaptive day dreaming and autonomous thoughtforms! https://community.tulpa.info/thread-is-it-an-autonomous-thoughtform-or-compulsive-fantasizing?pid=135799#pid135799

 

Tulpa Related Research post: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-existing-research?pid=786#pid786

[sushi]

I agree with most of that myself. I'm a little uncomfortable with the term pseudo-science being used, but I suppose it does fit. As cryptozoologists will point out, pandas were once cryptozoology -- within the last century, many respected authorities did not believe in pandas any more than they believe in bigfoot.

 

Unfortunately, at this time, we're still on the bigfoot side of things, but we're making progress.

[Guest Anonymous]

Unfortunately, at this time, we're still on the bigfoot side of things, but we're making progress.

 

Just for the record, I think there is a bit more to support the plausibility of psychological thought forms (tulpae) than there is for poor Bigfoot. Also, I have experienced a thought form myself, I have never gotten a glimpse of Bigfoot. That would be exciting! ~Mistgod