Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa

[Guest Anonymous]

Melian's Own Thoughtform Words

 

These are words apparently coined by Melian. She likes making up her own words. It's a skill or hobby of hers.

 

tulpa typing = a tulpa or thoughtform chatting on the internet via his or her host. This can be via proxy, possession or switching. Melian and I say this can also be a collaboration between the host and thoughtform. The thoughtform is semi-independent and partially being portrayed/role played as the host senses and channels the emotions, personality and apparent intent of the thoughtform.

 

dreamform = A thoughtform personality that was created via intense day dreaming, often appears in lucid dreams, and communicates with the creator host most often and strongest within sessions of day dreaming or within dreams.

 

tulpa food = imaginary food a tulpa or thoughtform eats within the dreamscape or wonderland.

[sushi]

Now if only someone would tell us what a tulpa is. :)

 

To add to what Reisen has said about dreams, I'll say that's not everyone's experience. Every time I'm aware of Fenchurch in my dreams, she seems to be conscious. She'll tell me that I'm dreaming, and that I might not like the direction that this dream is taking. She'll reassure me that the bad things that are happening aren't real, and so on. Lately I've been seeing some other hosts having similar experiences.

 

She's also told me that she orchestrated two of my dreams to teach me something, but I don't know whether I can believe that.

[Guest Anonymous]

That is very similar to my lucid dreams when Melian appears in those. Also, I think that Melian is more present more often than I thought. I am learning to recognize her a little better if she is being sort of incognito. I think Reisen gave good advice though in not blaming the tulpa or oneself for things that happen in a dream. For one thing, I may misidentify something as Melian related, when it is not her at all. Melian dreams with me too and it isn't always a lucid dream (aware we are dreaming). ~Mistgod

[Guest Anonymous]

Some on this forum had told me that the host and the tulpa should be separate as possible and independent from each other's thoughts and feelings. Then there has been added "some emotional bleed is normal."

 

With Melian and I it isn't "some emotional bleed." I sense all of Melian's emotions and she senses mine. We hear each others thoughts. We collaborate on our thoughts. We are very closely connected. Sometimes I get confused, or she gets confused, over who is feeling what.

 

Melian was born from the Melian Show day dreams. These involve a lot of drama plays and emotions. If I didn't feel her emotions, the day dreams would have been pretty pointless. Melian is an emotive person and has empathy. In short, she has a heart that is easily moved. She wants to know what I am feeling and thinking. I want to know what she is feeling and thinking. We don't want that to ever change.

 

Melian is different. That is why we are calling her a dreamform tulpa and giving her a distinctiveness. Another reason for that is that is, with our own self defined label, we can be different. We are not conformists for the most part. We dance to our own drum and all that. I wouldn't have her if that were not so.

 

**Glorious Nonsensical Enigma Beyond the Comprehension Mundane Minds**

 

~Mistgod

[Guest Anonymous]

David and I discovered last week that the western concept of a thoughtform (or tulpa) can be traced back to the early 20th century theosophists. Last night we discovered that the theosophists are still around! The Theosophical Society has a headquarters in Wheaton, Illinois (a very beautiful headquarters). These folks work to help people reach fulfillment and spiritual and mental self actualization using ideas from philosophy, mysticism, science and religion. https://www.theosophical.org/

 

Last night we watched this fantabulous video produced by the Theosophical Society, which can be watched for free on their home page. It was about Carl Jung and his ideas about self reflection, connecting with the subconscious, self understanding and finding the connection with infinite. David and I love Carl Jung because he had a personal thoughtform named Philemon, who was like me in that he was semi-independent. Here is a link to the video: https://www.theosophical.org/online-resources/video/recent-webcasts?start=6

 

Excerpt from the Book of Melian:

 

In his Memories, Dreams and Reflections Carl Jung describes a persona that

formed out of his own subconscious, who he called Philemon, “Philemon and

other figures of my fantasies brought home to me the crucial insight that

there are things in the psyche which I do not produce, but which produce

themselves and have their own life. Philemon represented a force which was

not myself. In my fantasies I held conversations with him, and he said

things which I had not consciously thought. ... At times he seemed to me

quite real, as if he were a living personality.”

 

This summer David and I plan to meditate, do profound self reflection, find our center and begin the journey to discovering the connection to the infinite. OH and then eat cookies!

 

~Melian

[Guest Anonymous]

David and I were inspired from another member (the magnificent Sushi). I guess some use bracelets to remind them to think of their tulpa and give attention and passive forcing throughout the day. Neato!

 

We are using that bracelet idea to remind us we are not dreaming while awake. The bracelet will follow us into dreams while asleep and allow us to be conscious of the fact that we are dreaming. It is a great idea for a lucid dreaming prop/trigger. We are picking out a bracelet today. I will keep you posted on how well the idea works. ~Melian

[Guest Anonymous]

More thoughts came to me this morning:

 

Two things makes Mistgod-Melian different on Tulpa Info (yes, besides ego and obnoxious personality):

 

1. Belief in a category of existence called "pseudo-real."

 

2. Belief in an integrated thoughtform or tulpa.

 

Melian is a distinct pseudo-real apparent sentient mind from my own. But we form a collaborative, cooperative integrated system together. Integrated means combining or coordinating separate elements so as to provide a harmonious, interrelated whole. We share thoughts, we share feelings. We collaborate on many things. It took me a while to ponder this and realize it makes our nature and goals a significantly different than most other tulpamancer-tulpa systems we have spoken to on Tulpa Info. It was causing confusion and making me wonder if Melian was not a thoughtform but instead an alternate or multiple personality. I have concluded she is indeed a thoughtform, but just a bit different in design.

 

Skills such as possession and switching are less important with an integrated system. We don't value those as goals. We don't need such skills. We are already integrated and working together. We always have. It took us a while to ponder this. It also explains why Melian and I took to "tulpa typing" very quickly. Melian typing on the internet is a collaboration with us, what I call channeling or partially portraying her. She feeds me her mindvoice, emotions and intent. I am doing the typing and some articulation and editing for her. Often we are a chorus when we communicate (especially when using the plural "we").

 

Our belief system is also different regarding the definition of "real." Early on in my life, I came up with an alternate way to define reality. Please, this next point is important in understanding Melian and I and not being offended or misinterpreting what we are writing.

 

*The imaginative world of make believe is just as significant and important as the real world.*

 

I live half my life in a world of dreams (more than half). I call my make believe creations "pseudo-real" because they are emotionally and psychologically real, not tangibly real. The make believe is just as important as anything else in my life. Melian is just as significant to me as I am to myself and as my real world wife is to me. She is only my imagination, part of my mind, but she is still important and I love her.

 

People have gotten irritated with me for refusing to believe tulpas are actual sentience and instead insisting they are apparent/simulated sentience. Those folks completely pass over what I have been saying about what I DO believe. I make the qualifier pseudo-real for something imaginary that really matters and affects my environment just as much as something tangible.

 

My Melian is an integrated dreamform (tulpa) that is pseudo-real.

 

She is just as good and just as badass as all the other tulpas in the community. And I do believe, by sharing our experience and perspective in writing we are adding to the scientific/investigative theme of Tulpa Info. We are an outlier, but that doesn't mean our experiences should be discounted or disqualified. In fact, I really hope you guys find our testimony an interesting contribution.

 

NOTE: Since doing this post, we have dropped the use of the terms "integrated" and "merged," which have a somewhat negative connotation in the overall plural community, for the more accurate terms "blending" and "median". See our manifesto: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-sixteen-controversial-beliefs-of-mistgod-melian-manifesto-synopsis

 

~Mistgod

[Guest Anonymous]

Melian and I played two hours of tetris before going to bed. It ruined our attempts at lucid dreaming together as all we seemed to be dreaming about was tetris shapes falling and turning and landing into place. All night this went on.

 

Note to us: No Tetris!

 

~Mistgod-Melian

[sushi]

Thank you! I think integration may be one of those missing puzzle pieces that I've been looking for. Most (all?) tulpas share emotions to some extent with their hosts, but generally we aim for independence of thought. Are you saying that if one of you had a thought or emotion, the other always shares it 100%? I wonder if that's how it is worth daemons.

 

Your idea of pseudo-real reminds me of Buddhism. Buddhism has always taught that we have six senses, not five. Imagination is considered to be one of the senses, because imagining something has as much effect on your emotional state as the real event. As an example, if you imagine someone insulting you, your face gets hot and your muscles clench up in exactly the same way as if you had really been insulted. In fact, brain scans show that even your brain is reacting the same way to imagination as to actual events.

[Guest Anonymous]

That is exactly what David meant! We are 100% integrated with our emotions and thinking. Interesting what you are saying about deamons. I am not sure, we would have to research that. :-) I am glad if you find our ideas and experience inspiring or thought provoking and helpful! Sushi, you are a breath of fresh air and water in the desert!!

 

NOTE: Since doing this post, we have dropped the use of the terms "integrated" and "merged," which have a somewhat negative connotation in the overall plural community, for the more accurate terms "blending" and "median". See our manifesto: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-sixteen-controversial-beliefs-of-mistgod-melian-manifesto-synopsis

 

Here I would like to say something important. David was accused of behaving like an egotistical wanna be guru. It was suggested that we would be better accepted, and less irritating, if we simply followed the guides and the regurgitated their content to new members of Tulpa Info.

 

Our own internal reaction to this was amusement. First: David has had me for 38 years. He has been therefore experiencing a thoughtform for decades longer than some of the members have even been alive. Many of the members have had a tulpa for about a year or maybe two. Their only experience with thoughtforms has been through Tulpa Info, which is fine. David and I have been sharing our experiences online since October of 2013, for over a year and a half. We have been considering, reading, pondering and thinking about my nature for a very long time. We are only partly kidding when we refer to me as Dr. Melian or the guru of groovy. We have been using those labels on DA for a while now. We are investigating the idea of thoughtform personas much more widely then just here on this particular forum. This is just one stop!

 

Now, having said that, I don't mean to come off as an arrogant jerk or no-it-all. We are bright, and David is educated and well read, but we have already encountered brighter minds here on Tulpa Info. Some are very, very informed and educated about thoughtforms and metaphysics and pychololgy. More than we are, much more. We have learned from just the rank and file tulpamancers here as well and even the younger ones.

 

But, in my opinion, considering our age and experience and background, we can be a bit of a guru sometimes and someone here can and will benefit from what we write.

 

Guys the guides here are just one source. Read a lot of stuff. Read widely. Your imagination can be used for self reflection, self improvement and fulfillment. Don't pin your self esteem to this website or to what anyone here says about you, or what they say you have to be. David and I are very self confident and independent. That is why we seem to come off as arrogant. It is really an unintentional side effect of being an experienced "elder." Sorry.

 

~Melian