Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa

[Guest Anonymous]

In reference to the thread posted (link works now, thanks) I think the OP must've either been a troll or definitely needed some professional help. I do believe tulpamancy can open the door to possible schizophrenia or other mental disorders when one gets too immersed. I can't define what 'too immersed' is, as it is different for everyone...but there is definitely a point where you need to step back and be extremely skeptical at what you think is happening to you. Earlier I was reading about another member from this site who had problems with his tulpa being 'stuck up front' I believe and then later with some entities or something.

 

I think 'super weirdness' only really comes into play when you start confusing reality with imagination. Tulpamancy is all internal, so you are always in control, whether you know it or not. Wonderland I think is just pure imagination. Nothing real about it at all.

 

I would agree with all of this.

 

I would also agree that there is nothing real about a wonderland. It is not a "place." It is pretty much just your brain day dreaming. It is really no different than my Melian Show day dreams. Some have pointed out that a wonderland is more persistent and immutable than an ordinary day dream setting, more like a memory house. I can see that being likely. But that just makes it a day dream with a fixed setting or "set" that you visualize frequently.

 

I feel the same way about a tulpas form. It is not real. It is made of the same day dream stuff as a wonderland really. The only part of a tulpa that could be considered potentially real is an independent sentient mind.

 

That is why things like a wonderland war between tulpas is so fascinatingly weird to me.

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EDIT: I consider the Melian Show a collaboration of imagination between Melian and I. If wonderland wars are similar to our Melian Show day dreams, then these wars are collaborative imaginings between the minds of the various tulpas involved. It is in essence a war of pure domination of mind.

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I actually don't think it is inevitable at all. While I try not to outright say it often, I have a lot of thought folk running around my head of various levels of development. While I cannot address them all in a reasonable amount of time per day, often picking a small group for periods of time to "anchor" on to then spreading out later, I actually haven't noticed much violent jealousy bubbling up over that. Yes, I see shades of competitiveness here and there, the occasional "I want to be your #1!", or even a claim of ownership from one, but no major conflicts between parties that weren't solved near immediately, nor any major upheavals of mental well being.

 

Now, I've had my share of legit issues that still are a hindrance, but I've never had any sort of "wars" among the ranks of folks who I've recorded down and make an effort to remember and interact with. Maybe it's a matter of how I try to carry myself inside and out, or it's my attempt to try my hardest to keep a positive atmosphere, even if I'm not always successful. Maybe the girls are just that nice, either way, things between the girls themselves tend to be peaceful.

 

So perhaps the culture or social dynamic of your particular system prevents conflict? That's good to know. :-)

 

EDIT

As for the concern of thought folk making more of themselves...this was actually somewhat mundane for me. My current anchor, Sheryl, was actually the first to do something like that, though it was years back. She was born from my attachment to a show, where she was one of 4 main characters. At the time I was very against the idea of making thought folk based on fandom, Sheryl herself being a sort of happy accident. But, due to her own identity concerns, Sheryl soon went out of my perception for a while, and when I found her again, she was tending to versions the rest of her "main cast" than she constructed. They're still around, too, and I've been wanting to make it a habit to help her out with them, and get to know them as individuals. Another gal, named Aya, made herself a little sister named bow, using a blob of negative brain stuff as a base. She did this because she wanted some one under her, as she was the "little sister" of another figure, named Dorris.

 

I tend to be shy about these details, though much less so nowadays.

 

Oh gosh, let's not give Melian ideas. LOL I would actually be more concerned about this if she were more disciplined in focusing concentration. It isn't really Melian's style. She bounces around from one thing to another too much.

[Guest Vixx]

The sentience began fascinating me ever since I made Sebastian and realized that he didn't have a brain of his own. I don't think most people visualize a brain into their tulpas. He definitely had a way different perspective than me, in the brief time we were together and seemed alien to me. My theory was that he must be using a different part of my brain or my subconscious to appear sentient. I honestly think the whole phenomena is just a method of achieving introspection. I don't think you can claim a tulpa as independent unless they can influence/interact with things externally by themselves or tell you things that you'd have no way of figuring out...like asking them to correctly identify a displayed card repeatedly while the body is blindfolded. Until then...one brain, one person. Maybe multiple personalities, but that's it.

 

Perhaps the wars between are tulpas are just symbolic of internal conflicts/clashing emotions. I can't speculate on that as it's never happened to me. It's really fascinating to discuss though, as originally I believed that tulpas were completely independent and leaned more towards the metaphysical approach...

[Guest Anonymous]

Wow, someone who agrees with me, for the most part, concerning the nature of apparent tulpa sentience. That is pretty much what I have been saying for eight months.

 

Interesting idea that the tulpa wars may be some sort of symbolic psychological emotional conflict in the mind of the host. Huh. I have Melian kick butt in martial arts battles in her Melian Show day dreams. I am sure some of it could be pretty symbolic. With the nature of her Melian Shows, if she shared them with other tulpas, I wouldn't be surprised if some battles took place. In such a case, they might be just for entertainment, and they might mean something more.

[AracnidsGrip/Rick]

It's weird from our perspective. But don't worry, we think it is far out cool in a psychological science way, if actually kinda tragic in an emotional sense. Sorry to hear about your brothers not making it through battle though. :-/

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EDIT: Why do you think conflict between "too many tulpas" is inevitable?

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EDIT: How exactly does one tulpa destroy/kill another? How do you think that happens? How does violence in the wonderland affect more than the tulpas form?

 

Vriska: It's ok. Aaaaaaaand... Idk, to be honest. It's just that it has happened every time that there has been too many of us in L's mind. Maybe too many tulpae can prosper in a Wonderland, but this hasn't been our case. Between us; I think it's because L wants to be the next George R.R. Martin, so he's became genocidal in all his stories, killing off almost everyone, or even everyone!! I think that has affected him, because when he was a kid, Hades told me that there was a whole prospering city. Maybe his obsession with killing off every character has changed his mind... Well... In my experience, every time I've killed another tulpa, it has been with also an imaginary weapon. For example the guy with the guillotine you readed about. My next victim's chest was trespassed by my sword and then she just... Fell down dead and a few minutes later her body dissapeared and we didn't saw her anymore. It's complicated, I guess. Maybe it has to do with L's mind too, but in our experience a tulpa can be killed by another tulpa by suffering serious damage by "tulpa weapons" to be said so, or by the host, but maybe because the host is allmighty in comparison to the tulpae. At least in here.

[Guest Anonymous]

Today I learned that a person can have something called a brain orgasm! OH that is for me! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomous_sensory_meridian_response

 

I had a feet orgasm once in the Melian Show.

 

If anyone ever wants to get together for an ASMR brain orgasm party, just let me know k. It sounds like a fun group thing to try to see who gets one and stuff.

OH here is a video that talks bout it and gives you brain orgasms. I d'nt get one yet but Davie and I got all relaxed.

[Guest Anonymous]

Melian and I are finally, finally beginning to feel comfortable with who we are and where we stand in relation to the tulpa community. I am proud of having Melian and that has always been true. But I was so defensive and insecure for so long. But just in the past couple of weeks I have begun to feel that first, we aren't all that different from everyone else nor any more weird, and second, there is nothing wrong with saying Melian is imaginary and apparent sentience. She is just as special, just as amazing and just as wonderful as those tulpas whose hosts consider them to be independent sentient minds.

[Guest Anonymous]

So we are going for a record. We have to not post for 38 hours this time! We will start sometime tonight, before midnight with our final post (if this one is not it).

[Brassow]

We'll see you in the morning.

[Guest Anonymous]

Nuh uhhh, nope. You will see us on Monday morning.

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm not familiar with ASMR, but I was wondering the other day how an MRI would look during switching compared to normal... That could almost be kind of a scientific proof of tulpae existance.

 

Tulpas do exist. Imaginary friends exist too. Role playing characters exist. Dream personas exist (and seem very independent). They exist or we wouldn't be aware of them or know about them. Don't need to prove they exist really. Now are they really independently sentient consciousness? Whether tulpas are independently sentient is a question that can not be answered, even with an MRI I think.

 

My thoughtform Melian exists. She is there. I already know that. I don't consider her independent sentience or a separate consciousness, but a form of expression or facet of myself. I think an MRI might still pick up the activity in my brain that is associated with her when she is thinking or talking to me in her mind voice or sending me flash images or dancing. But that would not prove she is another consciousness. It would only prove that a part of my brain is associated with my thoughtform apparently thinking or acting. Really it is just a matter of perspective. We have one brain. Whether that apparent second mind is a totally separate entity or something more blended and collaborative with the host is more how you wish to perceive things.

 

Some consider the mind to be independent of the physical brain. Some consider the brain to be the mind. Again, it is a matter of perspective. I am one of those who thinks the mind is intrinsically tied to the physiology of the brain. Since I share my brain functions with my thoughtfrom Melian, she must be considered part of me. One brain, one mind, multiple facets or expressions. She is not independent of me at all. She is me. I am a fifty year old man with one brain, part of which has been trained to simulate an apparently independent mind. I treat Melian like an independent person, but she is a figment of my imagination.