Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa

[Pioneer11]

Shouldn’t daydream characters be considered proto-tulpas? At least since that’s one of the way people create tulpas. I imagined mine for years without knowing about tulpamancy, and then was undecided if he was one or not. Confirming consciousness is difficult even regarding apparently fully automated tulpas. In fact I think we need more studies on what “sentience” means, how (and if) it’s related to tulpas, and how to make clear a transition between an enhanced character and an autonomous toughform.

[Guest Anonymous]

But why does a day dream character have to be anything other than a day dream character? LOL That is what is so maddening about this to me! Not everything has to be measured against the all mighty tulpa! THAT is the problem right there. Why does there have to be a "transition?"

 

I am sick of measuring myself up against tulpamancy. It isn't anyone's fault I came here and have had the problems I have had. It is my fault. I don't regret joining as I learned a lot. I only regret that I have put this forum through the wringer for the past eight months. I know, I know. It is a forum for the creation of tulpas. I am in the wrong forum. I am in the wrong forum Pioneer11. I should have left months ago.

[Pioneer11]

Giving up is not productive. Defining consciousness and what exactly are toughforms are interesting problems, worth having many debates over. You have brought up some good points in you threads. Why don’t you write a sum of your research? Many insights get dispersed over the threads, while you could organize a well thought argument that explains your theory and your doubts. One that might be beneficial to people like me, who are investigating tulpas and sentience too. It’s fruitless getting angry at other people and at yourself like this.

[Guest Anonymous]

Naw, it is time to go. I don't really need to do any research for myself. I will leave that to others to do for this community. Thank you Pioneer11. You really are a great person.

[Luminesce]

1. This is a forum for discussing tulpas in any way that's relevant. Tulpas are extremely similar to many other types of thoughtforms and it would be foolhardy to enforce a separation, because honestly most peoples' tulpas don't match up to others'. Mine for example seem to have few peers. As soon as you say "I don't really believe I have a tulpa, I have a soulbond. I think they're metaphysical in origin but I'm not sure, and open to learning about how they may relate to tulpas" you're good. You can continue on your merry way discussing what you like, giving your own experience. Just look at FadingSpectrum and FallFamily. They're some of the better members we have and they don't really have true tulpas.

 

2. A roleplay character is a "proto-tulpa" if the host has any intent of them becoming a tulpa at some point. Otherwise it's just a roleplay character. It could be a split personality, an "NPC", a tulpa, a soulbond, it doesn't really matter. Tulpa.info is trying to gather knowledge from many sources and compile it into a "religion" of tried-and-true suggestions but saying all the while that it's all subjective and what works for you will work for you. And what's true to you is true to you. We don't have expectations or compliances as far as your own thoughtforms go, nor do we require labels. If you wish to participate and discuss using your own experiences though, we need to at least attempt to give some labels because those are all we have in this meeting of imaginary-friend-havers. Without those labels we all generally understand, every single thoughtform would need to be explained on a case-by-case basis before we could begin discussing them. That'd make most Q&A-board threads pretty sucky.

 

I call Sylvia a servitor because that's how you guys would best understand her. In reality I created her as a tulpa with no emotions or needs, with the single purpose to act as an intermediary between me and the rest of my brain. At some point I got tired of saying "She's my subconscious-interface tulpa but not really a tulpa" and switched to servitor. And my tulpas are totally weird compared to most other tulpas, too, but that's not a problem. Using the term tulpa implies intent. It means whatever it is you have for a thoughtform, you'd like to think of it as a /will-be/autonomous thoughtform that is independent from you. If you don't want that (or a different definition of the word tulpa), then don't say you have a tulpa. But if you really don't have any other label that isn't a paragraph long, usually tulpa/soulbond/servitor will do. And if not, just call them a thoughtform, and then people know it's not well pre-defined.

 

Only called Melian a tulpa because you yourself had doubts about whether she actually qualified or not, and I thought she did. But if you think she's just a faux-tulpa due to extremely persistent active imagination, that works too. I mean, she still talks to us, still has her own ideas. The only reason we didn't call her a split/personality that you channel is because she exists literally as a tulpa does. The only reason you don't consider her one is your weariness on ascribing the terms "autonomous" and "independent" to her. As far as anyone else is concerned, you can just call her a tulpa, because she's more tulpa than some tulpas anyways. And you can keep your more truthful and descriptive title to yourself, like I do for mine. I've no reason not to call my tulpas tulpas, but they existed long before I discovered the phenomenon and we feel absolutely no pressure to meet any requirements set by the word "tulpa". They don't do things when I'm not thinking of them, period. They can still completely take over the body and do almost anything else any other tulpa can, so again, my tulpas are more tulpa than most tulpas anyway. No need to get so stuck up on terminology.

 

Seriously with the Fall Family though. They get along with this forum perfectly well despite, as far as I know, most of their knowledge coming from "Multiple" communities. And speaking from experience with my expertise on lucid dreaming here, I would be pretty much exactly as knowledgeable and helpful as I am now were I never to even have had tulpas. Doesn't seem like it anymore, but there used to be a ton of lurkers and even active members that didn't have tulpas, and they still educated newbies and discussed with vets like anyone else.

 

 

This whole thing's your problem, really, trying to figure out how to label Melian. You'd be better off doing what I did - "Yeah sure, this seems like what my mindfolk are." I never truly labelled them, to myself at least. Using the term "servitor" for Sylvia has not affected how I view her at all, as she really isn't one. But you guys don't seem to resonate with my whole "My tulpas are inactive when inactive and are fine for it" thing, so my tulpa who takes that to the extreme barely existing once every few months and is also emotionless is a lot safer to just call a servitor.

 

All these terms and labels should only be taken to heart if you started here, created your thoughtform here, and learned everything you knew from here. Heck if I don't qualify for that, your "tulpa" is older than most the people discussing tulpas here. You above all people shouldn't worry about being categorized.

[Vos]

I've gone ahead and merged the the four Melian's Musings threads into one.

[jean-luc]

Yay! All in one.

 

Mistgod, what happened to your avatar?

[Vos]

He's deleted most of the information on his profile + his avatar because he's leaving the forums. Check the Mass Leaving thread for more information.

 

Edit: If anyone is wondering where most of the Mistgod/Melian threads are, they're here. I've gone ahead and merged some of the threads that I found to be bloggy into this one.

[Evil]

I think it is an amazing thing you merged those threads. I am confident we can all learn from Mistgod, seeing the chronological evolution of his posting styles, mannerisms, obedience, in a way, to what people imposed on him. 'Tis a shame to see them leave, though. Feels like the forum won't be the same ever again.

[Guest Anonymous]

[align=center]http://pre04.deviantart.net/66e0/th/pre/i/2013/288/7/6/melian_and_her_dreamscape_matrix_computer_by_melianofmist-d6qkpo6.jpg[/img]

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http://pre04.deviantart.net/cdc1/th/pre/i/2014/033/d/e/melian_s_certificate_to_me_by_mistgod-d74vdmg.jpg[/img]

 

Just like Mistgod, I do like bloggy posts.  But I promise, if the post is exclusively about me and not a PR post, it will always go in this thread and no where else.  That is the plan my dear friends.  

 

The latest about Melian's origins and nature can be found on the Living Imagination thread. 

 

EXPLANATION TO WHY MISTGOD LEFT AND MELIAN OPENED HER OWN ACCOUNT (EDIT 9-16-16:  note Mistgod eventually returned in triumph)

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-groovy-guru-think-talk?pid=150546#pid150546