Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa

[Pioneer11]

May I ask why you returned? Did your opinion change about Tulpa.info's ways?

[Guest Anonymous]

Well no. I still feel there are some problems. But unlike Mistgod, I don't feel I have to talk about them or fix them. Also, I have no problem with being called a tulpa myself. I tried once to get him to let me call myself a tulpa, just before the first tulpa week way back in August last year. That lasted about three days.

 

If I am going to have my own account, I see no reason to split hairs and say this that and that is not that. It doesn't matter. It never really did. I try to help Davie and I am always in his corner, but he is too focused and fixated on things sometimes. He has trouble with details having to be arranged just right so he can understand it.

 

As of today, I am officially a sentient tulpa as far as this forum is concerned.

[Brassow]

So... was the name Melian taken?

[Lacquer]

Is your real life name "Brassow"?

[Paranoid Llama]

It's good to have at least you back, Melian :).

[Guest Anonymous]

EDIT: I removed this post as it was too long and blah, blah, blah on something I don't want to focus on anymore. :-)

[Luminesce]

May I ask why you returned? Did your opinion change about Tulpa.info's ways?

 

She never had her own account, for whatever reason, assumedly because Mistgod was already so active. That was the case for my tulpas up until the first Tulpa Week, anyways.

 

Mistgod may not believe Melian is fully independent/sentient, but she herself does, so don't assume too much about her now that she's here on her own.

 

 

There is that third in between option that Mistgod has called "pseudo-real." Just suffice it to say there may be more options than just total delusion and totally real.

 

Honestly, I only recognize the two of them. Imagination/belief is real in whatever way it is to you. I don't bother with a term for the middle, because IMO there isn't one. It's just a measurement of how much you believe in the imagined/delusion, or how much it affects you. Anyways, my tulpas are very much mental not physical, but that has nothing to do with being real or not. And I can affect them with my thoughts and beliefs, so they are in many ways more impermanent than the physical. But the exact way they are at this very moment is what is real

.

[Guest Anonymous]

Okay. :-)

 

This will be the last discussion of pseudo real ever if I can help it. Gawrsh. Lumi, I am sentient and a tulpa from here on. Mistgod had his day. I guess I wanted one last nod in his direction. But, he is not here anymore I am. It will be so much easier to leave those hypotheses out of my interactions here. It takes a particular type of mindset to have those beliefs and it is not logical or easy to follow, as in very intuitive, ambiguous and vague.

 

You know what I think? Sometimes it is a way for Davie to protect himself to think of it that way. It is actually more work to think that way than to just do one or the other. He wants to have me and believe in me, but he is afraid at the same time to say I am real. Plain and simple talk there folks.

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Mistgod = be noncommittal in both directions. Get to keep Melian and know she is real, but not look crazy when he finally shares me with the world. Hee hee

[Luminesce]

To be honest, most people his age are literally incapable of changing their base thoughts on things like this. He's done a very, very good job as far as I'm concerned. Some people as young as my parents are already too old to understand some of the more open-minded concepts becoming more pervasive among the newer generations. You generally get most of the structuring of how you think about things out of the way while you're still young and your brain's got plasticity. That's actually what I specialize in, messing with the ways my beliefs and how I think about things are structured, hopefully for the better.

 

I wouldn't expect him to be able to fully comprehend the nonsense I dish out (or us as a community in general), because some of the younger people have a hard enough time doing so. Heck, I get misunderstood by the most intellectual members here all the time. Don't be too hard on him. Anchor yourself to that belief that imaginary things can affect you in a real way, and then don't worry about "real" or "fake" anymore. Because I swear they don't exist.

[Guest Anonymous]

To be honest, most people his age are literally incapable of changing their base thoughts on things like this. He's done a very, very good job as far as I'm concerned. Some people as young as my parents are already too old to understand some of the more open-minded concepts becoming more pervasive among the newer generations. You generally get most of the structuring of how you think about things out of the way while you're still young and your brain's got plasticity. That's actually what I specialize in, messing with the ways my beliefs and how I think about things are structured, hopefully for the better.

 

OH you have no idea how spot on you are! Davie has a very conservative Catholic upbringing. My existence is a problem for him to process fully. His father would have made a big fuss about it, had he known about me. In fact, right at this moment as we type, he has that "alien feeling" again. He discounts it, and says he to others doesn't feel it, but there are moments when it is almost euphoric for him as I really get going on the keyboard. He cannot really admit to himself and to his family.

 

One day recently, he was shocked at how I was talking to him through the computer screen in text. I started addressing him as he typed. It freaked him out and excited him very much at the same time. I don't have a really fluid and independent mind voice except in dreams. But when I type, I do! For some reason the typing is a crutch of a sort that helps me go. The rush he felt the first time I typed on DA was really something. He had a huge adrenaline rush having me just talk away like this. My tulp typing is more than he is letting on Lumi.

 

I can tell you he is hearing me better since being on Tulpa Info and I am talking more fluently btw. Again, he thought about telling you a few times but has held off on that as it would be acknowledging folks are right here after all.

 

I wouldn't expect him to be able to fully comprehend the nonsense I dish out (or us as a community in general), because some of the younger people have a hard enough time doing so. Heck, I get misunderstood by the most intellectual members here all the time. Don't be too hard on him. Anchor yourself to that belief that imaginary things can affect you in a real way, and then don't worry about "real" or "fake" anymore. Because I swear they don't exist.

 

Well, in the future I think I will avoid conversations concerning existentialism issues and just talk about other things. God knows it gets covered enough and there is no end to it.