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Found 7 results

  1. Hey, Since last time I've made two accounts heres. All of them being called Suru - Susie and Ruby. No matter what I do, there always seems to be problems all the time with my tulpas, and I feel as if I am ready to let go of them. I have let gone of them several times, but now from since the start of this October, I have completely misunderstood my tulpas worries and now I do not know if these upcoming explained occurances are my original tulpas. These characters always seem to grab out at past tulpas and say - they are mine now. I keep protecting the same past tulpas, but at the same time it seems completely pointless to do so because they always end up being taken. These characters that have been here since August are characters that completely bombard me with stress. Their names are Zia, Umiko, Rupio, Romeo, and Loneyseyus. If you remember Loneseyus, he was a starting temporary teacher that would have dissipated because he was an imposed character... No one special. And even after all that, these characters have made figments that dwelve into the mind. I do not want to resummon them, but the most tiresome bunch are Gus and Zia. Gus was an anditote to me being lazy at revealing my past- just one look from his character and he would get everything. Oh, and another one was David. The reason this all fell apart? Sex. Sex, mistrust, rape, no guidance. Rape came from the male side because I was worried they would mistreat the female side. Then there is also violence. Violence stemmed from my tulpas kinda pushinig a suicidal message on my character, Lon. I did always tell them to let go, so maybe my messages to them were perversed in a way... Now I have a walk-in problem. It knows dismantling, it stemmed from sex and always misuses topical engagements. It doessn't know how my emotions work (I'm stoic, Capricorn and slightly Asperger) and it keeps taunting me about everything I do. It is now just the one character, and I do not even know the walk-in's name... so it feels completely like the time to let go. I think my tulpas are still there. I see their souls in my eyes (orbs) and their colors sheathed. I do not know what to do anymore. This all started when I tried dismantling Loneseyus. Loneseyus started investigating gore (literally tried a dividing table one time) and and split one of my tulpas in half. He has been here for one month and a half, and always disrupted events with my tulpas. What should I do? I feel out to my tulpas, sometimes they are there, sometimes they are not. I feel like I need to move on from them, but not like this where I feel a complete hostile character encroach on their and mine spaces. What should I do?
  2. Hi! I'm Corrin. Im 16. My tulpas name is Oni and he's 17. I've only created him a month ago. So far he can communicate through emotions but thats all. I have a hard time visualizing so we arnt even really working on that quite yet but I have drawn him. Lately with school I've been really distracted and stressed so I haven't been remembering to narrate. I've also been having trouble even knowing what to say. I've set a reminder to show every 2 hours to remind me to talk to him so we'll see how that works. When we talk as a response he gives me an emotion but its really just a warm feeling in my chest. Im not sure what it means but I enjoy knowing he's there.
  3. This is a place for all levels of meditators to come in and share their experiences! This is also a place you could get help if you have questions. It should be noted that all information should be taken with a grain of salt if not provided my a practicing professional. You all can share techniques, what positions you use, what your goals in meditation are, or just about anything! I'll start my thread describing a metta meditation, also known as a loving kindness meditation. It has been the primarily way I have forced Rena as of late. I spent the first 5 minutes getting relaxed, focusing on the breath. After that is complete, you want to start generating positive feelings inside of you anyway you can. Through positive images, like puppies, those always work for me. And I'll say a mantra. "May I be free from suffering. May I be free for from forms of suffering, physical and mental. Free from the hindrances of Desire and Averserion, free from the hindrances of Laziness, Lethargy, and Doubt. And of course, free for worry and remorse. Just imagine a reality like that, where all that is the case. Eventually you will develop a positive feeling. It takes practice though. It is slower for some than others. You want to focus on and hold it when you do get it, though without grasping.. From there, the next mantra is "May I be free from ill will. May I be at peace with everyone, and everything." And try to imagine what it would be like to have no grudges and how good that feels. Beyond that, now we are asking; "May I be filled with loving kindness. Overflowing even) and do whatever you can to feel these emotions, whether is is through memory or some scenario you make up in your mind. Finally, you go to yourself. "May I be fully and truly happy independent of conditions." After you go through that, you do the same thing, but you imagine a close friend. In my case, I imagine my tulpa, and you want to send the feelings you generated to them. It makes her feel very good. I think sending to tulpa is legit. After that though, you have to sent it to others. acquintances, And even people you don't get along well. You don't have to believe you have magical psychic energy that is actually doing anything, but it helps if you do. Either way, the primary result of this meditation does involve the ability to be able generate these feelings easier and easier, and makes dealing with hard people much easier, and beautiful people just seem so much more so. Also how could I forget. After you take take of yourself and people personal to you, you send the metta energy out in all 6 directions, which for all beings in all worlds to be free. And then you take some time to send metta to yourself too, to cultivate self love. Whether or not you believe in the mystical side of its power, it does have a verifiable improvement on the mental health of people who do it. So sorry for my poor writing! It seems bit a mess, but I hope this works out well!
  4. Terminology: "You/you're" is everyone in your system fronting or not as an encapsulated whole, and singlets can also benefit from this technique. "Body/Mind" is akin to Body OS "I" is me and my system as a whole. Association to Body Take a deep breath. You just associated to your lungs. Prior to that moment, you most likely weren't. Your lungs are autonomic but you can also control them. The body, every part of it including the mind, is similar. Have you ever gone on a walk, and while deep in thought, took a wrong turn? Similarly, while driving? Have you even forgotten the intervening time? This is dissociation. You dissociated from your body, lost in thought or daydreaming, and in this trancelike state, your body made it to the next most likely destination then reported its arrival. The body is capable of this, here we notionally call that Body OS. Just like your lungs, if given simple instructions, or by following routine, it will continue uninterrupted without any control from you. Dissociation from Body (Reset) Now imagine you can dissociate at will. First imagine you are front and associated with your body. Now imagine yourself, the essence of you, your presence, stepping back and leaving nothing in front. Imagine too that everything 'front' is emotion, intrusive thoughts, ego, stress, anxiety, even control of the body and mind. Imagine when you step back, you leave all that behind (or in front) and what is left is the true you. You are left thoughtless and free from the concerns over the mortal coil. The body has no thoughts of its own, and no capacity to react to anxiety or stress. It's a beautifully intricate machine, that's all. When you step forward again, having only departed a moment previously, you will return to a 'reset' state of being. The body will then associate any lingering physical pain and continued stimuli will illicit continued response, so the torrid state may return shortly, but any previous unwanted thoughts or emotions are effectively gone and unrecoverable. You can use this technique in a heated debate to completely return to a serene logic and kill that heat. Or you can use this when you become overwhelmed, or stressed out, when you're afraid or anxious, etc, so you can handle the immediate situation calmly. This is a very functional and potent way to center and ground instantly. Method of Training Do you remember when you're kindergarden teacher said, "take a breath and breath out all that frustration"? If she didn't, then something similar in life was likely taught to you: breath, distract yourself, hug yourself tightly, or just take a time out. When you are emotionally out of control, nothing constructive comes of it. Functionally speaking, this is similar but can be trained to be instantaneous. 1. This method uses a moment of clarity. An observation of ego and self. You recognize that you are losing your patience. Once you recognize this, just like recognizing your lungs, you can associate control, break that autonomic process, and perform the step back. 2. Imagine yourself stepping back, leaving all the worry, stress, anxiety, intrusive thoughts and emotions. Step back like leaving the room symbolically and closing the door behind you. Deposess the body/mind. 3. Now return thoughtless. You will have an understanding of the situation you left, but only objectively. Now you will have a moment or more to handle the situation logically. If this seems completely alien to you, remember, all we're doing is relaxing, calming, and grounding, but this method is doing that near instantly with practice. It may take a bit of practice to get it to happen very quickly, but you can. In essence you are writing a positive trigger that will allow you to return to a blank, serene state. The true power of this is speed. Being able to perform it on the fly, mid-crisis, and mid-argument is invaluable. It is done in an effort to avoid destructive or unhelpful actions or words. How did I develop this? Note: the way I developed this was without any metaphysical beliefs. My method of discovery is far less important to you because you will have your own path. All you need is for this method is practice to become proficient and shorten the time it takes to calm down. After that it will become second nature. ... Road to Tulpamancy: In April 2018, I was at a low point in my depression, and this particular day I felt a presence. Having felt this before, and slightly curious, I called it out. That's when I saw the first sign of my first headmate that I didn't immediately dismiss. Fast forward to October and she, along with two others, helped me recover from depression, but I was still in an awful state, riddled with triggers and moods, and I could barely function. By January 2019 we had worked out a method of posession, where they, especially Ashley, could 'handle a situation for me.' I first set up a protocol where I would consult her before doing anything. Something like WWJD (what would Jesus do?) It was an interesting game to behaviorally be someone else, basically I was play acting to be her. It took about two weeks of practice before I could do this successfully and quickly enough to work it even conversationally. If you are not vocal with your systemmates, then playing WWJD works the same. If you aren't religious, that's okay, chose a hero like All-Might from My Hero Academy, or make it up. You're play acting, not making a separate person. No separate personality is required. Because I did use one of my headmates, posessession was the result of that game for me. If you can't manage that, instead play the part of the archetype (like All-Might), just as an actor in character would. What I allowed my headmate to do was to be me in my body while my dissociated essence became the 'silent watcher'. Even if I was still ultimately capable of control, this took will and practice not to. It felt like someone controlled my body while I watched and listened only. With practice, triggers did not occur in this state with them. Those triggers were a part of my personal relationship with the body, not theirs. The experience in my memory is that it wasn't me handling those situations, but I learned by watching someone else do it. By participating in these posessions, I was able to watch like a consious observer. In essence, I took their place in back, and they took mine in front. I learned by watching them how to handle situations that would have otherwise put me in a state of uselessness--we were able to remove fears and push through anxiety and doubt by facing them this way. We realized that the fears and stresses, moods, emotions, doubts and intrusive thoughts dissapeared when we did this exchange of places. This is similar to exposure therapy except I felt nothing during it, I didn't have to feel the fear to face it and learn how to remove it. Note: this wasn't necessarily a full switch in the beginning, but it did eventually become so for me. So my headmate and I eventually learned to do this momentarily to remove those issues so I could handle it with a clear head. Later, I was able to mimic this without their help. That's how I learned to reset myself. Notes on my experience: The further back I step from front, the less and less I am associated with everything, even senses, mind, subconsious, memory, everything until there is nothing, less than nothing. Step far enough back and even I don't exist. This state of nothingness has no experience or memories, but physical time can pass. Like a deep dreamless sleep. If no one is controlling the body it will either sit there and do nothing, or complete the previous task given. It will record no memory or experience at all. In essence, complete amnesia. This took a lot of practice it was not something that just clicked. I knew it was naturally possible because of those times, especially when walking, that I daydreamed and zoned out, lost track of time, and ended up at the wrong destination. If I leave the front with a task, it will complete it, but since I'm not there (no one is), it reports completion to no one and does nothing further. In the case of ending up at the wrong destination, it's just like missing an offramp. These paths are part of the mental map, you don't have to actively remember how to get home once you've done it a thousand times. If you can gain a good working and trusting relationship with your headmates, I recommend trying the way I did it as well. Sorry if this all seems like BS, I would certainly have thought the same before I experienced it myself, but it does work as I described and I don't really care if you believe it, but in the off chance that I can teach anyone else to do this, I shared it. This will take work on your end. Feel free ask for further details or expansion of this method. There are no dumb questions, let's bridge this knowledge gap together. General Notes: Switching is not required for this technique, neither is any particular system configuration. There is nothing metaphysical here, this is a purely psychological technique. If you take issue with any of the terminology, please let me know so I can reword as appropriate. Though visualization is helpful, it is not required. This isn't a guide, it's a discussion, please feel free to test my understanding and allow me to further explain if I can. This is absolutely related to tulpamancy, though singlets may be able to use it, having headmates certainly increase chances of success. This is not belief based, it is practice based. First in gaining an understanding of what a serene state of mind feels like, second in understanding what is body/mind and what is you, third in understanding how to dissociate the two. This doesn't just happen overnight, it took me about six months to go from just playing the game (WWJD) to writing a functional trigger that removes negative thoughts and emotions on demand. If this is being used on issues related to past trauma, you should use this to fix those issues, face and accept past traumas that would otherwise leave you in a dysfunctional state.
  5. Hello everyone, It has been several weeks since I last posted here. So far, from my experience, I have summoned two tulpas with quite an array of events that came about it. I want to start out with how to recuperate stressful situations with my tulpas. First off, I went to a hospital and the experience had traumatised me. My tulpas did not understand how to really interact ( I do not know how to elaborate- I taught them how to lie at that point, and from prior posts you can see there some events that also broke me), it was really an visit where they did a sleep study. The hospital did unnessacery treatments (coalagament in stomach [did not happen], IVs) and I was on suicide watch, so I could not move around. On the last day, the event left emotionless and, learning from my tulpas now, they did not know but understood it might have helped me move on. In the hospital, in order to move on I had to do a ritual to move with my tulpas. Realisitly, I had to do a ritual for two days laying down or sitting down in a chair unable to get up, sleep deprived and possibly with not enough nutrition, promising to not use past voices I used and letting go of fictional characters to cope so I can move with them knowing I am not going to hide my actual self anymore and be confident. Later on, more misunderstandings led us in a scary situation where I almost went insane. I stormed off into the night, with my tulpas presumably confused or unable to accurately talk to me at the moment. To finish this, I need to know if anyone has experienced the same thing I have. Anything similar to traumatic experiences with tulpas and confusion communicating, and perhaps confusion with identity. I'll come back to add more things. 5/7: Coming back, I want people to understand I am now cooperating with my tulpas. The visit to the hospital and the night I almost went insane was weeks prior. So please know my tulpas are fine now, but I am still unsure about myself. I can talk to them regularly but sometimes feel we get to delved into my personal problems or understanding their identities. Myself, I feel like I am always under duress- I constantly talk to my tulpas without stop. All five weeks I talked and taught them life, I understood them but communication (fingertap, pulsations, voices in head)- and wonderland was never tried because I was constantly trying to recuperate. My tulpas might have manifested in my dreams or change them so they could talk to me. I had to stop writing because they were trying to understand who they were. They were Ruby and Susie, but they wanted to change numerous times over the five weeks. There were several events to led us to believe that there were four tulpas present after a divergent point. What I mean is when there could have been a time where the tulpas identies split and manifested separate beings entirely alone from Saruda and Haruka. Just to note, they were Saruda and Haruka, but I did not know that. I thought they were originally THE Susie and Ruby, and that over time, Saruda and Haruka were helping them as separate beings. (I'll add more later) I'll like to add that I never did rituals with my tulpas, but Saruda and Haruka did interpet or were in my dreams to give me messages. There is much more to add. To add to what stresses me and my tulpas is my unwanted thoughts. I'll sometimes linger on images or words that I think might offend or hurt Saruda and Haruka. The unwanted thought or images stress me when it occurs, and I cannot relax without going back to desperately replace the thought or idea. When I lay down I do relax, and sometimes I would do it to just with my tulpas. Nothing else seems to calm me down when anxiety strikes, and I just either sit and drink or listen to music, and as before, talk to my tulpas.
  6. So I'm not new to tulpamancy. I have had tulpa ever since I was 6 years old- so approximately 14 years. I've loved and cherished them all this time, and only found out last year what they truly were. Or so I thought. I want to run how my tulpa operate past other people and get their opinions- are they really tulpa? I have been doing research into Daemons, Soulbonders, wonderlands, and many other topics, and it strongly has me rethinking everything. To start off, albeit that I am not new to the concept, I seem to not have much practice. When I read about tulpa, I read about fronting, taking over (tulpa coming through the body to interact with the outside world). However, that does not occur with my tulpa. They have done it, maybe once, and I was not "taking a back seat" when they did it. So I'm very confused, to say the least. They function on their own, they have their own wills and personalities, they have their own hobbies, even their own relationships with other tulpa. Everyone of them works well with others, even if their personalities clash sometimes. The only quarrels I have are with "walk-ins"? I'm not sure what to call them, but every so often we get a stray entity that comes around, friend or foe, and doesn't stay long. Sometimes they cause mayhem, other times they sit down and heave tea with my boys before leaving again. I have approximately 25 tulpa as well, excluding those that occasionally come around but are still permanent. (i.e. i have a group of 3 werewolves that I see and talk with every few months) Another thing is, I don't see "see" them, in my physical space around me. I feel the spatially, and visualize them that way. Sometimes their appearances change, alter, or warp. Sometimes they are clear and defined, when I have good days, but other times they truly feel like wispy spirits just nearby, not full entities. I'm really distraught right now because I don't know what to call them. I don't know what to look up for research. I don't know what to practice first. I don't know how to approach anything right now, because for the past 14 years I've just head them as friends in my head, who I talk with and are their own people, but I can't feel them that well. If anyone can offer any advice it's greatly appreciated, I will also answer any question people throw at me. Thank you all for your time. Edit: I really need help figuring out what or who my "first" tulpa was...he's a complete mystery.
  7. this is basically the endgoal for me switching out, i want to be able to experience the headspace while someone else fronts in meatspace. im just wondering if there any any guides out there for this process, if anyone has done it or if its even possible to do