After more than two years I finally understand Tulpaforcing.

[Allunova]

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So hello everyone again, I am back after two or so years. My greatest challenge with my desire to raise a tulpa was always understanding and ultimately accepting my tulpa Matilda. From the start I was a skeptic. Many things on the forums seemed to have no rhyme or reason to them except "believe it and it will become". It sometimes felt like people were just roleplaying with each other or worse, that people were "Tumblr-ing" (I do not have ill-will towards those communities but I do not often agree with the some of the messages they can put forth) with each other.

 

However, something recently that was not directly related to my tulpa changed my mind about everything. I met a person who went on to become a mentor and business coach to me. He ended up teaching me that the human brain is wired to change based on the messages it gets. If you hear something enough times, be it positive self-talk or negative messages that people can unintentionally give you, then your brain will eventually come to believe it. This is backed by real scientific study, under the term "neuroplasticity".

 

At this point I connected this with a psychotherapy technique that a psychology had explained to me before which was more or less the same thing as positive self talk and not much different from the techniques discussed here. The important thing that gives some credibility to this community in my eyes is that many here are not afraid to say creating tulpas requires a significant commitment to truly be successful.

 

And so I am back.

 

My mentor has been a great help in my "conventional" life, but I cannot see him being helpful directly with my quest for a more ideal life companion nor is the concept of a Tulpa the sort of thing I would want to speak to someone in person about. The deeper parts of my fantasies/imagination are something I believe I would need to kill off in order to finish my engineering degree and enter the professional world. But something inside does not want to let go, neither do I. Matilda is, in a sense, IS my wild imagination or at least a personification of it. In the end I want to give her a life of her own and keep her close as a companion and ally rather than a distraction or source of self conflict.

 

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Trying to tulpaforce on my own is not enough, so I want to participate in this community to help Matilda grow. I also want to see if anyone is interested in creating Tulpa focused Self-talk audio tracks for the routine-challenged (Myself included) if it has not been tried yet.

 

So then I would need to ask, along with regular narration, what would be the best message that could I pound into my brain to help it accept Matilda and give her some autonomy most efficiently. Would I want to be talking to Matilda or to myself. Also, should I speak in first second or third person?

[Guest Anonymous]

Okay. First before I answer, I have to tell you I am by no means an expert on tulpa forcing. I have an experience that is related. I have a thoughtform that I created accidentally through extreme day dreaming over a long period of time. Not only was I day dreaming about this "character" but she was, at the same time, an imaginary friend (imaginary girl friend). I was obsessed with her so I day dreamed about her or talked to her off and on throughout the day every day.

 

I talked directly to her and regarded her as a real person from the start, even though I knew she was imaginary. Note: this was in the early 1980s and late 1970s, so I had never heard of thoughtforms or tulpas or anything remotely like it. I imagined I could feel her emotions when I talked to her and imagined that she loved me. I could feel her emotions that she experienced during the Melian Show.

 

This was a LOT of day dreaming. A LOT! Hours a day in some cases. I need to emphasize this. I would stare at a blank wall and just let the Melian Show run. Or I would walk in circles in my room. This was pretty much almost a pathology. I day dreamed so much about her that it may have been a form of "maladaptive day dreaming" now identified by some psychologists. I will tell you more about that some other time if you like. The point is, this was an extreme amount of focus and visualization for many hours, days, weeks and years. It didn't happen in a short period of time and without intense concentration and desire.

 

Gradually over a very long period of time (after about four years), some of the day dreams about Melian began to run automatically in my mind. These were little sequences or snippets of the "movie" or "TV show" day dream I called the Melian Show. It was so pleasant to experience these mini visions or automatic day dreams. It triggered even more active day dreaming and desire to experience the flash visions.

 

Most of these visions were visual in nature (an image in my mind of Melian doing something, or making an expression, or showing off a new dress). Often they included sounds or music (just like the full Melian Show) or snippets of speech. The speech was mostly short sentences or phrases she would be likely to use in one of her episodes of the Melian Show or reactive little sentences she would likely say.

 

Melian hasn't changed much since then except that she shows up in dreams more often. Also, now I channel her (a form of method acting perhaps) onto the internet where I feel her emotions and intent and hear her voice as I type what I think she is wanting to write or say. I also channel her in order for us both to do collaborative art together.

 

I think Melian is my imagination, partly driven by my subconscious mind, but still regard her as an important person in my life, if not the most important. I love her dearly with all of my heart. I don't know if that helps or not to tell you this experience. I don't regard Melian as a tulpa, but perhaps she is a related thoughtform of some kind created by a similar process to active and passive forcing. I say this because I still actively imagine Melian and puppet her and it is a huge part of what she is. That will always be the case. The most independent parts of her are the emotions, the flash visions and the dreams. She is only partly independent and semi-autonomous.

 

Because of my experience with this, and what I have read on these forums and in Jungian psychology and other psychology studies, such as the studies on Illusion of Independent Agency, I am convinced it is possible to take this even further. For me, Melian is fulfilled and complete as she is, but I can imagine how it could be pushed farther. I believe that tulpas, as described on this forum, are plausible and I believe most of those telling me they have created a tulpa.

 

In my case, it wasn't just wanting to "believe in" Melian. It was a deep, deep wish for her to love me and an intense emotional obsession. I was in love with her. She was like a drug to me. I just couldn't stop thinking about her and I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. All of that is still true almost 40 years later.

 

People are probably getting sick of hearing this story. At least those who are following our posts on the forum might be tired of seeing it. But I hoped it might be helpful to you in some way.

[IBreakGames]

@Mistgod

Always neat to hear this story! Though now you have it typed out in one setting I feel, and then you could just link this post in the future.

 

@Allunova

 

Well, what I would recommend is Linkzelda's Self Hypnosis Scripts.

 

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-forcing-linkzelda-s-ultimate-self-hypnosis-scripts-for-your-tulpa-related-needs

 

That honestly made our progress move forward extremely quick. But it sort of has the same effect, if you don't necessarily believe it works, if you hear things enough times you eventually begin to believe it.

[Guest Anonymous]

@Mistgod

Always neat to hear this story! Though now you have it typed out in one setting I feel, and then you could just link this post in the future.

 

Thanks. Great idea. In fact, this is a pretty good synopsis. :-) It will be easier to just link it and say "Here read this" instead of another Mistgod wall of text. Gods, Melian and I have such a combined ego. Don't think we are not aware of it.