Romantic Tulpas and Disclosure

[sushi]

Yeah, I went for years thinking that I'd never have a girlfriend, or that I'd never have a girlfriend again. That may be one of the things that got me into tulpas to begin with. But yeah, you'll probably be surprised by how much things change in the next 15 years.

[Dracky]

I doubt I'll date again, not because I'm not interested in finding someone to share my life with, but because being asexual makes dating super awkward. Having Lyra around is great for cuddles and emotional intimacy without the whole sex thing.

 

On topic, I don't think disclosure is really necessary, both because tulpas and hosts are basically a single entity and because I can't imagine many people would be very accepting of the idea. I did date a girl who I'm almost positive was a soulbonder, but I still think her reaction to being told about Lyra would have been negative.

[Deleted]

I wouldnt tell anyone. Im not expected to disclose every thought that crosses my mind to a partner, am I?

[Linkzelda]

If you are romantically involved with your tulpa' date=' are you obligated to disclose the existence of your tulpa to your human partner? Why or why not?[/quote']

 

I don’t think any thought form to whatever level treated as sentient would make said partner think that their chances in the relationship—romantically, and/or sexually are ruined unless escapism seems to be a prevalent habit; like to the point where the thought form in question seems to be the end-all be-all to satisfying all of the host’s ought-to for fulfilling needs, wants, being cared for, and a consistent source for reciprocity. If the host feels the partner has no need to give anything that they can give back in some other way, exactly for what reason should they question the romantic potency for their partner?

 

I guess it raises the question on the goals of the relationship; be it to keep things going, and understanding its contingent on the conditions set upon through negotiation and thoughtfulness of each other, and that there isn’t really a universal set of ethics for something like that.

[Hierophant]

Yeah, I went for years thinking that I'd never have a girlfriend, or that I'd never have a girlfriend again. That may be one of the things that got me into tulpas to begin with. But yeah, you'll probably be surprised by how much things change in the next 15 years.

Well the problem here is that I'm demisexual and I also have trouble interacting and connecting with other humans. I tend to empathize and care much more about tulpas in general than with "meatspace" humans, so I'm slowly beginning to drift away from being attracted to real life humans at all.

[MagicaCat]

So much this (can't quote on mobile, sorry ^^' - I mean what Heirophant said).

 

Tyler and I aren't romantically involved, though there are reciprocated feelings - we're kinda feeling our way, if that makes sense. I can't see there being a time that I'll choose a human over him but if (massive 'if') that ever happens, I don't think I'd tell them about him. It would be a past relationship as I'm strictly monogamous, and for the most part, past relationships aren't current partners' business (in my opinion).

 

EDIT: and Sebastian and I aren't interested in each other that way ^^

[Hierophant]

The disadvantage I see over real-real relationships, is that people with poor social skills like me find it difficult to tell what their partner is thinking. She may say "I'm fine" when she really isn't, or get grumpy at you for a reason you can't comprehend. With tulpas, ideas and thoughts can be transmitted in tuppish, and angst is avoided because both parties can instantaneously understand each other's point of view. Simply put, it's difficult to choose someone who may seem mysterious, unpredictable and who you don't understand over someone that you have spent a lot of time with and a deep emotional bond, plus you know them as well as you know themselves, or even better sometimes.

[MagicaCat]

Mm, totally agreed. And there's those long, boring conversations when you have to explain why you don't want to do something (go to that new club opening, for example), whereas Ty already KNOWS why I don't want to.

The bond I share with both my boys will never be replicated with an outside person, and for me, a lesser bond just isn't enough.

[sushi]

She may say "I'm fine" when she really isn't, or get grumpy at you for a reason you can't comprehend.

 

Trust me, that's not poor social skills. That's just women. If she says she's fine, she's not, and you're probably in big trouble. Have a hidden stash of chocolate for emergencies like this.

 

It's your choice whether you have relationships with humans or not. It might be for the best of you don't -- I don't know you, so it's not my place to say, and only you can decide that. I just don't want you to think you can't