Lumi's Dreaming Thread; Dreams of Moon

[Luminesce]

Went to sleep at midnight, woke up at 7AM (and lots of other times, but 7 was my brain's "Well, do we get up now?" time). Reeallly wanted to go back to sleep, but thought I also reeeaallly shouldn't. Aaaand I invoked Tewi with a vague thought about her wanting the schedule this way. She asked me why I wanted to go back to sleep, and I said because I was cold and kind of tired. Then she asked me why I wanted to get up, and I said because it has the potential to help us with lucid dreaming. And then she asked which one was more important to me. And I had just enough motivation from that to get out of bed.

 

So that's great, but I'm freezing. Whenever I wake up "early" (as in don't sleep in for at least 9-10 hours), I tend to be kinda cold for a little while, unless it's like summer or something. But it is winter. And it's like -10 out right now, childrens' second day of school was cancelled for the ice (was shortened yesterday for the foot of snow overnight). I'm freakin' cold. I'm not shivering anymore, but I was for like 15 minutes.

 

Oh anyways, same dreams as a few days prior and the days before that. Not super clear and not super easy to recall. But they're still happening around 6.5 hours into sleeping, where I used to consider dreams like that an 8+ hour thing. So I guess. I will. Stick with it. The going to sleep around midnight and sleeping around 7 hours thing. Ugh.

[tulpa001]

Do what we do. Walk around in a blanket.

 

I think noticing recurring dreams is a good sign. The reoccur very frequently. Though, all our dreams have been unique for some reason since I showed up. Not sure what is going on.

[Luminesce]

Sorry, I meant same experience with the dreaming, like still kinda vague with snippets I remember and knowing there's more but having some trouble recalling it. My dreams are utterly random, I don't think they ever repeat. I never have "reoccurring dreams", nor "apocalypse dreams" or "falling dreams". They're all somewhere between normal and broken, distorted "normal", when they're not based on characteristics of some video game or something.

 

 

The fact that I've been aware of my dreaming each night in the first place is a good sign.

[Luminesce]

Yeah no, I woke up at 7AM after sleeping from 12AM and was like, Yeah no,. I even felt kind of awake, but I really wanted to sleep more, so I did. Slept a total of 10 hours, getting up at 10:30. The dreams from the 5 to 7 AM mark were clearer than the ones from 8 to 10 AM. Yet here I am at 10:30PM tired enough to sleep, lol. I wonder if my body actually needs, or thinks it needs 9+ hours sleep on average? It seems alright with me not sleeping more than just a few for up to two days in a row, but three days of 7 hours, then sleeping for 10 and being awake for only 12 before being tired again.. Dunno, it's strange.

 

Anyways I'm going to sleep at 10:30PM so I should get 8 1/2 hours of sleep, right? Because I'm deeeefinitely waking up at 7AM again. Waking up, for sure. Getting up, well, I hope so. I've never really fixed my sleeping schedule once it's started to shift forwards like that, I wonder if it's possible. I know people who sleep 'til like 5AM on weekdays, but 7:30 on weekends. Can you really take sleeping-in breaks and still return to your normal schedule that easily?

 

Guys, this "sleeping schedule" concept is so foreign to me. It's really a new experience.

 

Actually, to be completely honest, I cannot remember my sleeping patterns during grades 11 and 12, where I actually performed well academically. I don't remember ever making myself go to sleep before 11 on the regular, yet I had to wake up at 7AM for school.. And I don't remember doing the no-sleep-weekdays-lotsofsleep-weekends thing that I did in like 2010. And I don't remember missing quite often enough to sleep more (which is how I survived 2010-2012 and failed all my classes). What even did I do ?_?

 

Welll, anyways, guess I'll go to sleep and attempt some dream recall now.

[Luminesce]

7:40 just felt like the time to get up today. I guess that was technically 9 hours of sleep? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Let's call it a weekend thing, sleeping past 7. I guess going to sleep at 10:30 is like, normal or something.

 

I had an interesting dream, and I wouldn't mind more like it. The setting wasn't necessarily interesting, it was roughly school-scenario, though it felt more like TV show levels of serious than my own experience. But the atmosphere was nice, seemed kinda dark and blue. Which would technically make sense, based on the time and place I had the dream, because that's what it's like outside right now. It started as a bus ride and ended as some sort of "quest"/plot thing, taking place at the school. On the bus, I was showing someone (someones actually, but I can't remember who the second person was) my Gameboy Color (?) playing

(?), but it was a totally redone video (?) so that was interesting. The school part was too much randomness to really describe.

[Luminesce]

I'm tired, and also tired of the games I'm playing and not playing so I'm double tired. Was too tired to think about what to do so I asked Tewi, she said I should tell her what I dreamed about immediately upon waking up throughout the night. So I guess I'm doing that. I asked her how she felt about this schedule so far, but she said she hasn't seen enough of its effects to have an opinion. Oh well. Good night.

[Luminesce]

Slept in until 10:30 again, but I'm tired at 10:30 again. Is this the mystical force a "sleeping schedule" bestows upon an individual? The ability to continuously be tired at a consistent time, despite interruptions? Really is strange to me, normally after sleeping in like that I wouldn't be tired until past 1AM, around the typical 16 hour mark.

 

Oh yeah, did my best to say what I'd dreamed about. A few times I didn't/couldn't really remember, the rest I did to some extent. Guess I'll do that again.

[Luminesce]

I'm pretty much waking up around 7:45 and thinking "yeah no" and going back to sleep until 10:30-11:30. And going to sleep just before 1AM. Keeping a schedule is hard.

 

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-lucid-dream?pid=181124#pid181124

I should take my own advice, especially on dream recall. Falling into the "Couldn't really remember dreams" trap is terrible. The whole point isn't to remember them, it's to try to.

 

May switch with Tewi soon? She wants to do some stuff. But I'm lazy and I want to do muchlessproductive stuff too.

[Luminesce]

I was going to write a post about how weird some stuff this night was in a very reality-check-y kind of way, one of the reasons of which being the almost full moon made it look like 7AM at midnight, but I dunno, I got a feeling like "Do people really want to read my posts every day anyways? Wouldn't a short one be better?" I don't exactly agree with that point of view right now, but I still don't feel like it.

 

I remembered dreams through the night as best I could. Some progress. I went to bed slightly late (not quite as late as tonight though) and woke up very late. I don't have the self-discipline to not sleep in. I don't even want to talk about not wanting to talk about how little I want to do things. Feelings like this are why I deny wellbutrin helping me at all as it apparently does my family. Any progress that's been made on my overall mood and mindset was exclusively me and my tulpas' doing, not the medication, as evidenced by my still having semi-depressive episodes. It doesn't do what it's supposed to, period. But it's cheap so I can't really justify going off it either. So don't reply about that, it doesn't matter and it doesn't hurt anything.

 

I simultaneously do and do not want to let my tulpas switch to do their own stuff for an extended amount of time as I have been recently. I do, because I just generally want them to get to do things, but I don't, because I want to do nothing. I can't let myself switch to get away from applying effort. It doesn't matter what excuses I make up, as long as I have the motivation to switch to not be fronting, I can't let myself do that. I at least have to get in a better mood first anyways.

 

My tulpas are probably going to take care of various things I'm not doing well enough whenever they do end up switching. From an evolutionary perspective, that's kind of amazing, partitioning the mind off to deal with things in completely different mindsets/points of view. But I somehow doubt humans have a long evolutionary history with tulpas and tulpa-like things to do that sort of thing, I'd accredit it more to the mind's creative-and-problem-solving abilities. The ability to adapt to new situations and environments and come up with ways to thrive in them is probably humanity's primary defining trait. If I were an alien, I'd be super interested in me.. the not-alien.

 

Just because I stayed up later before getting tired doesn't mean I'm not tired...

[Luminesce]

Big and probably interesting and probably important post in our Ask thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas?pid=181294#pid181294

 

By chance, I happen to have Lucilyn with me again right now. She couldn't think of anything to say when I wrote that one, but right now she says "Hi! Hope to see you guys again soon!"

 

But yeah go at least skim over that post, it's basically all the relevant stuff that happened today. I think I'm still remembering dreams about the same, definitely still sleeping in too late. Going to sleep at roughly 1AM tonight, assuming we just do a typical imposition-sleepover instead of wonderlanding. I really can't think of anything to do together in the wonderland, asked Lucilyn and she says we need a more interesting environment. I could see us hanging out in a real-life place from my memory, but I can't really think of any right now. Gotta think of some nice place I've been that would be fun to make my own, and bring my tups to. A road trip sounds fun, I have nice memories of being in a motorhome when I was a kid. I went over the idea before writing that and Sylvia seems willing to fill the driver's seat, so we don't have to have it drive itself. Sliiightly too RP-y for my tastes, but a motorhome in motion is so much more interesting than a parked one. Surprised she can still think so clearly after being utterly inactive, maybe it helps she only speaks in mindvoice (which we somewhat incorrectly define as similar to tulpish, but more intentional and clear - feelings and emotions and ideas conveyed much more quickly than words. It apparently actually means just internal voice... boring). I asked (visualizing the scenario) if she'd do it, and she said something like 'fulfills a purpose', which made so much more sense in thought-form. She also told me, in honestly lightning-quick thought, that I should think of somewhere we'd actually be going to. So, back to a few sentences ago. I'll think about it. Not tonight though.

 

Maybe worth mentioning that our celebrating the full moon is kind of a two day thing. As you can probably see here, https://www.timeanddate.com/moon/ the day after the full moon tends to have a moon within 1% of the same brightness. And honestly, I'm so lazy that trying to celebrate on only one day tends to not work out. *cough* Goin' to sleep now...

Refer to one of the last paragraphs in the first post on yester-page for info on what a "sleepover" night entails. Well, that was only really about positioning. The rest is just sleeping.