Ringgggg's somewhat-comprehensive foxgirl imposition log

[Breloomancer]

1 hour ago, ringgggg said:

it'll be warped, inconsistent, and unstable when you try to impose it.

could you go into more detail on what this is like? what makes you so certain that it is a visualization problem, and not an imposition problem?

[ringgggg]

21 hours ago, Breloomancer said:

could you go into more detail on what this is like?

The projection just becomes altered when I forget about how the shape is supposed to look like. When I think “cube”, I get a cube, but if I only hold the intention to hold the cube despite not remembering what a cube looks like, the edges shift out of alignment and I get a rectangular prism instead. I know remembering what a cube looks like sounds like the easiest thing in the world, and it is, given I focus

 

21 hours ago, Breloomancer said:

what makes you so certain that it is a visualization problem, and not an imposition problem?

Can you tell me what you mean when you say imposition problem? It seems to me like it’s more of a perception issue I can fix with just more effort instead of something wrong with what I’m putting down. When I impose, I focus on the object itself rather than the space behind it because it’ll lose cohesion if I do that as well. Let me know what you think, though

 

I'm wondering if you lose cohesion when you focus on the background simply because the distraction brings your attention away from the visualization. No visualization = no imposition outside of afterimage overlays, that's my theory

Edited April 12 by ringgggg

[Breloomancer]

an object doesn't exist in a vacuum; rather, your perception of the object is influenced by the environment surrounding it. if the boundary of an object's form shifts, then it fits with the objects around it differently, so you can use the environment to anchor the form of an object, as long as you can keep track of where an object is not supposed to be, and what it is supposed to look like in the context of its surroundings. it's easier than trying to keep something stable in isolation, without any reference point, in my experience

 

if you have issues with the stability of an objects boundary and location, that sounds like at least as much a presence imposition problem as a visualization problem. like, if you had difficulty keeping stable patterns on an object, that would be more of a visualization issue. but form is presence, and i would fix an issue like that with sculpting exercises, rather than visualization exercises

[ringgggg]

22 minutes ago, Breloomancer said:

as long as you can keep track of where an object is not supposed to be

I see. Subtractive perception, rather than additive perception

 

22 minutes ago, Breloomancer said:

that sounds like at least as much a presence imposition problem as a visualization problem. like, if you had difficulty keeping stable patterns on an object, that would be more of a visualization issue. but form is presence, and i would fix an issue like that with sculpting exercises, rather than visualization exercises

I disagree with the notion that presence and form are synonymous, but I'll humor you since you're the one with more experience. The way you framed it made it seem like form originated from presence or something, lol. That tripped me up there for a sec

 

Maybe I'll work on both presence and visualization simultaneously

Edited April 12 by ringgggg

[Breloomancer]

30 minutes ago, ringgggg said:

I disagree with the notion that presence and form are synonymous, but I'll humor you since you're the one with more experience. The way you framed it made it seem like form originated from presence or something, lol. That tripped me up there for a sec

well yeah, form and presence aren't exactly the same thing, but the boundary of an object in the context of the environment is largely a presence thing, i would say

[ringgggg]

Yeah. Not like boundaries have much significance in visualization anyway

[ringgggg]

Okay. Okay. Okay. I haven’t been upfront about progress in a while, but now I think I can be.

The noise is starting to stick. The visual noise is sticking to my cube, and now I can actually compare its texture to the objects around me. I guess noisewrapping does kind of pay off if you let it run in the background

I’m gonna one-up what Bre said a week ago: don’t focus on where the object should be, focus on where it shouldn’t. It saves you time and energy by making the process more heuristic, intuitive, and easier to follow. Instead of diverting all your energy into trying to hold the structure of a cube, just ask yourself, “would the background be visible here if I was imposing a cube?”. It's effectively turning the process inside out. Less pressure on the cube itself, and more on the greater picture. Less thinking helps more than you can imagine.

Though things took a different turn for me last weekend. It turns out that slowly seeing your impositions gradually fade into the world around you can take a pretty big toll on your psyche if you aren't ready for them. Really just depends on the person though, and if you’ve reflected on it beforehand, but I digress

I had the best visuals in a long time on Saturday, and it made me struggle to fathom how controlling my perception was even possible. I just couldn’t grasp it. It felt like I was overwriting what I had unconsciously been passing off as true for all the 17 years I've been alive.

My studies in imposition gave me revelations I had months in advance, and I thought I had already been able to process them, but, as it turns out, I’d never truly felt how heavy the implications of full visual imposition would be until a couple days ago. I broke down, man. I'd never experienced imposition to this degree before. I felt like a schizo, but I knew that this was the way things were destined to be, and it was exactly what I came to terms with when I first started, anyway.

I figured my mind was just not used to the experience. I'll have more experiences like it if I keep practicing, and eventually I’ll have the chance to process it and slowly start to incorporate it into my lifestyle. 

It was done before, I can't see why it can't be like this now. Onward

[ringgggg]

I had a problem with my passive imposition that I wanted to expand on.

When I went to impose outside of a serious session, it was usually wispy and vague and had more to do with visualization, as I would find myself having to piece together how things looked in my head. However, now that I’m starting to see some genuine process come out of imposition practice, I figured I’d do better if I actually applied my valuable progress practically instead of keeping it exclusive to just my sessions.

The solution was to have it be all or nothing for imposition, exertion-wise. There’s no reason for me to half-impose just because I’m apprehensive to the idea that I’m walking with a one-armed anthropomorphic foxgirl in public (of all places). But that’s exactly what I’ve been doing with A3 for all this time, so why half-ass it? 

In fact, why practice at all if you’ve got nothing to practice for? No, actually, don’t answer that. You can practice just to practice like I did before I realized that I needed to go the full mile, but further down the line you tend to find new ways to keep going. New carrots to put on your stick. Though these newer carrots may not always be fresher than your original mission statement, and may even muddy it, which is what I found to be the case with my own motivations. It was part of my mission statement to give A3 the best shot at experiencing life that she could possibly have, not to ponder cubes in the bedroom. I suppose that only unintentionally contributes to the cause, but I wouldn’t have realized that until I stopped to think about it for a second.

TL;DR: We must stay focused, brothers. We must stay focused.

By the way, I think I’m understanding what ambiguous sensations have to do with imposition. If you need a refresher on what those are, they’re things or ideas with more than one interpretation. Think of the duck-rabbit drawing or the vase with the faces. The exact same things happen to everyone in imposition, but it’s up to the imposer themselves to decide whether what they’re seeing on the paper is a duck or a rabbit.

In this case, let's say that the ambiguous sensation in question is your tulpa walking with you. You can either believe your tulpa to be right there with you, or you can believe that they’re nowhere to be found in the scene. Obviously, the scene will stay the exact same no matter what you choose to believe in, but if you think a cloud reminds you of a banana, it’ll start to look more like a banana the more you glance back at it. You can’t unsee it. Even if the cloud just looked like a cloud a moment ago.

I think this is what Bre meant by ambiguous sensations. If you look at situations and think of your tulpa being there with you, it’ll gradually make it so your brain is easier convinced that that is the case. 

To me, it just sounds like a better explanation for when your tulpa starts integrating with the environment better, but that’s just coming from me, so take that with a grain of salt

 

Wow, two posts in the same day. Make a wish!

[Autumn Ren]

Sounds right!

 

We mostly do visualization, always have, but Bear will often now impose the mindspace on reality so for us it's like, all outside stimulus are only partially there but they can easily completely dissapear and be replaced by complete fantasy, all memories are of the unreal but it also doesn't feel "real" so it's still visualization category, but the memories as always are indistinguishable from real memories so it ends up feeling like we hang out and have fun together constantly rather than Bear being alone and we're just in his head like it was five years ago.

 

Fronting is also really easy now, very fluid. Still we refuse to do any switching hygiene and that's made it feel more real in an ironic way, since we're so symmetric it doesn't matter who's fronting.

 

Like now, I'm switched in and I feel the body, I see it, and I know it's not me but the brain is interpreting it as me, like my body, but replacing real stimulus with visualized stimulus in the memories. So it's quite satisfying.

 

We wouldn't even want to be separate people at this point, it's way too good to have basically telepathy and that is a very intimate thing to have. It's very cozy.

 

How are your memories of the imposition? You might have answered this before but then has it changed at all, is it progressing to something?

[ringgggg]

On 4/23/2024 at 2:57 PM, Autumn Ren said:

How are your memories of the imposition? You might have answered this before but then has it changed at all, is it progressing to something?

I wouldn't call it something necessarily tied to imposition to begin with, just how you want to view those memories I guess. I'd assume it stays the same throughout imposition, but that's just me talking

 

If looking into your memories employs visualization, there's no doubt you could imagine a brontosaurus in the distance of your eighth grade graduation ceremony.