Forcing My Log of Mancing a (Many?) Tulpa(e?) (MLM(M?)T(e?)) (of JohnnyRevolver)

[ringgggg]

Wow, I haven’t seen a newer daily report that’s this consistent. Keep up the good work.

 

On 1/8/2024 at 3:34 AM, JohnnyRevolver said:

likely as a result of my not being able to focus lately

Don’t blame it on one specific thing. There are several reasons why it didn’t happen, but the only takeaway should be whether it was done or not.

 

You can start visualization or forcing however you like, but at the end of a couple consecutive good sessions you’ll notice that you always walk away with the same “in the zone/locked-in/etc” feeling. This “flowstate,” if you’ve heard of it, is a very effective focusing tool to use for your forcing, simply because you don’t have to actively work towards flow to induce it. Because flowstate’s an unconscious process, it all happens on its own. You just have to give it enough time to set in.

 

Personally, I like to keep this in mind during my own dedicated sessions whenever I’m ever frustrated at the start.

 

Meditation’s also a good thing to pay attention to. An outlet to exercise your concentration is there whenever you need it, regardless of how poor your focus is at the moment.

[JohnnyRevolver]

On 1/9/2024 at 6:09 PM, ringgggg said:

Wow, I haven’t seen a newer daily report that’s this consistent. Keep up the good work.

sorry to break the trend, I have been quite busy lately but I fully intend to get back to doing this on the daily

 

I have been planning to do some meditation when I am fully conscious because I figure that narrating while laying in bed will probably get me there eventually, trying to focus while at the most tired I'll be for the whole day (aside from shortly after I wake up) probably won't do me any favors so I think that tonight I will actually meditate for real this time.

 

Notably my mind has been drifting alot recently, last night I was narrating and repeatedly I stopped narrating to dwell on some thoughts I had without actually making the conscious decision, I think that meditation while not tired will help prevent this alot however that does still remain to be seen, tomorrow's log will hold results.

[JohnnyRevolver]

alright I can see a difference but I will need more time to determine how much of one, for today I will be resigning to rest earlier than usual because my poor sleep schedule once again comes back to bite me, I will still narrate to my tulpa. I have decided to make a commitment to do more on-the-go narration, which just means narrating while doing otherwise mundane tasks as to progress on forcing my tulpa and to break up the monotony of said tasks, still no response like the earlier mentioned feeling in the back of my head so that might mean that it was unrelated or I just have yet been unable to get into a similar flow-state as ringgggg put it, tulpamancing to continue for the foreseeable future.

[JohnnyRevolver]

alright I have come to the conclusion that it becomes incredibly difficult to visualize and narrate at the same time, it is possible just not consistent. If I try to visualize and narrate at the same time it is only a matter of time until I lose my train of thought and my narration becomes aimless pondering and the visualization becomes a whole lot of very vivid nothing and I am not guaranteed to notice when this happens for some reason, and after about a minute or so of doing no forcing at all it becomes somewhat difficult to get back in the proper headspace to do everything again. Historically I have just done one or the other and when both are mentioned they are not typically concurrent. For the future I do not know if I should practice doing both at once until it becomes easy or if I should just do one or the other for the time being.

 

In other terms, namely meditation, I did some throughout the day and tried doing it while playing Bloons TD 6 however my BTD6 skills have seriously fallen off since I last played the game and it ended up requiring more focus than previously anticipated. Throughout today I have made an effort to narrate alot more when I am not doing anything of serious importance, subjects are whatever comes to my mind that seems interesting because narrating in my head has the added benefit of helping me work through the topics in my head if there was something I did not fully understand.

[Athelas]

9 hours ago, JohnnyRevolver said:

my narration becomes aimless pondering and the visualization becomes a whole lot of very vivid nothing and I am not guaranteed to notice when this happens for some reason

 

Noticing when your mind has wandered is a skill that takes practice. My host and I are working on it ourselves. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Every time you catch it and redirect your attention is a victory.

[JohnnyRevolver]

not much of note happened today, I narrated some, but not much else, it's just one of those days, y'know?

[JohnnyRevolver]

My narration continues, though today for some reason I was completely unable to visualize mu tulpa, I can visualize other things fine, an apple is the common baseline for many and a typically go for something akin to the commodore PET, those went fine but I was still unable to visualize my tulpa, very strange, it's like when an ink pen won't write and then you test it and it works fine but it still won't write when you go back.

 

Recently I believe that my ability to focus in general has improved as a result of focusing on my tulpa making this whole tulpamancy thing a net positive even if I somehow fail to -mance a tulpa-.

[JohnnyRevolver]

More recently it has been quite cold out and as a result I have been letharging about in my bed when I can, I think that this has somehow affected my ability to concentrate, today I have been struggling significantly on topics with which to talk about and I believe it to be related to the prior stated reason, soon it should warm up because I have not seen it get this cold here for a good many years so it should be very temporary.

[ringgggg]

On 1/15/2024 at 12:25 AM, JohnnyRevolver said:

even if I somehow fail to -mance a tulpa-.

Keep in mind there’s no objective right or wrong way to do this. Don’t get onto yourself about “doing it wrong,” just course-correct for yourself and it’ll improve for you.

I’m sure you’ve heard this at least once or twice before, but it’s a personalized journey, and one that doesn’t require much comparison between individuals. Just stay in your lane and keep at it, bub.

[JohnnyRevolver]

14 hours ago, ringgggg said:

I’m sure you’ve heard this at least once or twice before, but it’s a personalized journey, and one that doesn’t require much comparison between individuals. Just stay in your lane and keep at it, bub.

I have heard this before and I can just say that many places I have been, both online and in real life, require me to do things in an exact way (do not be mistaken, I am quite good at doing things the wrong way on accident) and as a result trying to get the exact way to do something and believing that I must follow it that way lest it fails. Clearly that has been burned into me regardless if it is true regarding the current subject or not.

 

Now, for the log, today was alot of day, as such not much has happened regarding tulpamancy due to a lack of time, there might be more time later tonight but I am very tired so that is a strong maybe. I have been missing alot of time recently though I do hope that this is temporary as I believe consistency to be very important here.