Coping with dopamine addiction / short form content / doomscrolling

[woodsman]

I'm not sure if I searched for the right terms, but I didn't find any topic dedicated to this. I'm curious if there are other people struggling with this dopamine addiction and how you and your tulpas are coping with it?

What bothers me the most about this is the combination of wasted hours, and the following brain fog. Not only am I not paying attention to my tulpa, resting or doing something meaningful, I'm also overwhelming my brain in a way that makes me feel drained and have difficulty focusing. My tulpa doesn't blame me for struggling with this, but she would also like to hear if there are ways she could help me with this. 

 

[The Incans]

Set a limited time... say checking the weather and news for 15 mins before you get up then get up and dressed ...do whatever it is you have to do...  we have a dog to walk so he motivates us to be up and out fairly soon after waking to walk and feed him etc.

 

We'd rather play on video games to be honest that gives you a mood boost but you stay more focused for longer periods as you get engrossed in the game. My Tulpa's also love going on the adventure with me and often then make parts of the wonderland similar to parts of their favourite games/movies.

 

We have holodecks inside too then instead of having to create loads of Tulpa's to fill their world and give them someone to interact with, each program's NPC's are based on that game ...eg characters from Hyrule if they want to pretend to be Link or Zelda.

 

They also take turns (I have 2 fully sentient Tulpa's who can host/co-host) to do stuff with me in the 'outside world' .eg I can 'look inside' and see Lena with her Tulpa family in her stardew valley program whilst myself and Jess maybe in the garden playing with our real life dog or we maybe on a different game. 

 

Lena likes to come out and cook so I let her take over for a couple of hours and do a batch cook every couple of weeks of stuff like curries and chillies, lasagne to go in freezer. She also likes to do sunday lunch for us every week or come out with me if I get chance to go out for sunday dinner.

 

If you're good at art or design etc you could work with your Tulpa to design what you think parts of wonderland looks like...use Minecraft, or art programs (if you can draw). we look through google images together so they can show me what they like to look like or if they want a specific setting for an holodeck program. (Jess likes to play being a snow leopard or an eagle in the mountains of Patagonia..based on nature programs we watched together on it or a Black Panther with blue eyes like Oluso in the game Far Cry 6 running through the jungles and along the beaches).  In the process we've also learned alot about the natural world specifically countries I'll probably never get to visit in my life (I can't fly due to medical reasons and mostly housebound due to ME too) and the video games help with co-ordination and stimulate different areas of the brain that help reduce onset of stuff like parkinsons and dementia.

 

We also do exercise based video games when I have the energy (use wii fit for gentle physio..yoga and stretching helps with arthritis joint pain) and balance games..(which helps reduce falls).

 

so we would say pick something more interactive than just scrolling you can still get the dopamine feeling and you've actually done something that can helps your brain/body in some way. ..or if you're much more physically able try thinking of something to help others...maybe an elderly/disabled neighbour needs help and you can get your exercise in... walking their dog or mowing their lawn???  ..imagine youself and your Tulpa as 2 spirits sharing the same body like conjoined twins (opposed to them being an invisble friend sat /stood at the side of you) would so you're simultaneously co-conscious and experiencing the outside world together too. 

 

You don't need to worry about being seen 'talking to yourself' because they're sharing the same brain ...with practise you will be able to communicate telepathically and know what each other is thinking.

 

Edited August 17 by The Incans

[BearBaeBeau]

What do you mean by dopamine? The drug or some hedonistic behavior?

[Luminesce]

Dopamine addiction (and/or whatever other terms) refers to motivation issues caused by constant access to easy-dopamine activities like social media and (especially mobile-like) games, more or less

It's not a strictly real or well-defined thing (you cannot be addicted to dopamine itself, just activities that give high dopamine), but it's likely real in concept anyway

 

Also likely much worse/more-likely with ADHD, for reasons I'm not qualified to explain

---

Ezri's right about one of the best things being setting strictly limited times you can say use the computer/browse your phone. Be fair enough with it that you're still willing to follow the restrictions, though.

Avoiding too-easy dopamine activities may be helpful if that can be measured and enforced well - I'd say browsing twitter and playing (just about any) mobile games or otherwise idle/clicker/etc. PC games should be dropped entirely. Social media feels important to keep up on, but when you quit it for a while you realize everything still feels fine, lol. I think if you gave yourself literally 5 minutes to check twitter/other-social-media to "stay up to date" each day, that would be more than enough time to truly stay in touch with actual news, and anything past the 5 minute mark likely drastically reduces in relevance/importance.

 

I still struggle to cut this sort of thing out entirely though, as I neither want to give up watching Youtube videos occasionally nor talking to friends on Discord, so probably still-strict but longer-time limits would be necessary for those, I'm not sure

 

And I think ADHD really is strongly related to this being a crippling problem as opposed to a simple time-wasting one. (Assuming diagnosed) ADHD meds are well known to each have totally different effects on different people, to the point where it's a coin flip whether one will hugely improve your life or make your symptoms worse, and the next one you try is a coin flip again, but they're still generally worth trying (which depends on where you're located, but probably about three worth trying at least), keeping in mind they're not meant to be miracle drugs (and if they feel like it at first, that may wear off), but just to help manage your direct ADHD symptoms (so, letting you focus and do what you need to do, if you put the effort in)

 

Otherwise, I've had success with just general physical activity, being sucked into whatever ~"dopamine" activities for long periods of time tends to leave me feeling low energy, while doing physical activity (whether actual exercise/walks or jogs, or just cleaning around the house/yard work) tends to leave me feeling more productive and able to choose to do things

So, worth trying to factor that in too, as a lifestyle fix.

Edited August 17 by Luminesce

[woodsman]

@The Incans Thank you for your input, I've been talking about this today with my tulpa and we came to the conclusion that her 'love language' is quality time. It doesn't have to perfect for it to be worthwhile, for example after our discussion, me and her decided to have a little dinner date. I often eat in front of one screen or another, but I decided I won't be doing that anymore. It was surprisingly intimate to just eat and have a conversation with her, probably because I chose to do it after she told me she finds it very meaningful. I actually got a bit nervous in the beginning, which was a strange feeling after all the deep and personal conversations we have had.

 

8 hours ago, BearBaeBeau said:

What do you mean by dopamine? The drug or some hedonistic behavior?

The constant need for external stimulus, compulsive use of electronics. Sure, drugs and binge eating work on dopamine as well, but I was referring more to things like excessive internet use or video games. All this over-stimulation leads to reduction in dopamine receptors, which in turn leads to things like impulsivity, lack of focus and anhedonia or the inability to feel joy or pleasure. Luckily I'm not as deep in the dopamine hole as I used to be, but that is in big part thanks to my tulpa being here for me. Just knowing that she enjoys quality time where my attention is on her is a big motivating factor for me.

 

 @Luminesce

Yes, spot on. One thing I've made into a routine is that I get a walk and one meditation/forcing session in before I go online. I don't have ADHD personally, but I imagine this struggle would be a lot more intense if my mind was racing even more than it is already. There are browser plugins that I have used with decent success, like Unhook. I've used it to block shorts on Youtube and I might have to use it to block front page and side bar recommendations as well, since checking those out is what gets me stuck on the site these days. 

 

 

 

[BearBaeBeau]

I couldn't help you there, I do get a lot of stimulation but it doesn't really affect me in that I have no complaints. I know Lumi did some work in that regard. My mind is overstimulated by default, if I'm not online getting stimulation, I'm writing the novel, watching gif compilation videos, memes, it's endless really. There's no time for a down, my system steps in when I come close. I'd say a good third of my day is taken up with my system conversations and talking about our games. The other 2/3 is work.

[2serpents]

On 8/17/2024 at 2:09 AM, woodsman said:

but she would also like to hear if there are ways she could help me with this. 

idk, being extra annoying always seems to work for me.

 

But really, the last month or so we've been using Duolingo which satisfies that low-effort sense of accomplishment or whatever while actually learning something. I'm trying to enforce that if we don't have the energy for this super easy language practice then we shouldn't be online.

[woodsman]

2 hours ago, 2serpents said:

idk, being extra annoying always seems to work for me.

 

But really, the last month or so we've been using Duolingo which satisfies that low-effort sense of accomplishment or whatever while actually learning something. I'm trying to enforce that if we don't have the energy for this super easy language practice then we shouldn't be online.

Thanks, that's a helpful way of looking at it. Both me and my tulpa enjoy learning, and there's lots of things we are both interested in, so we could be doing a bit more reading. I did block all the recommendations and related videos on Youtube, which has already been a help.

 

I: (I don't know about being more annoying, but I suppose I could remind him more often about the changes he is trying to make, for both our sakes. I know he will feel more accomplished by doing... anything other than watching those short videos. I think we should start discussing some more meaningful options so he simply has to choose one when he feels a pull towards numbing himself with "content".) 

[harvestmoon]

We use the LeechBlock browser extension on Firefox to block any websites that are not added to our whitelist. We hide the long password in inconvenient places or (on one occasion) have given it to a friend.

 

We use uBlock Origin to block clutter and/or distressing information such as comments, statistics, ads, etc.

 

The sheer quantity and specificity of online content can be overwhelming, and some content feeding algorithms are basically designed to make users angry.

 

I am worried about how people complain about this short of thing. Words like "productivity," "waste," and "meaning" are thrown around a lot, and often result in people feeling guilty for daring to live their lives in an easy way in the face of a society that wants to overexert them. Neurodivergent people are especially prone to this productivity guilt: less productive due to disability, then due to black/white thinking and internalized ableism, feeling wrong for their habits and impulses.

 

You haven't wasted time. You have made it to this moment. Nothing means anything. Look at yourself and the time you spend on yourself with curious compassion. Self-love doesn't run out like will power does. Which means if this doesn't apply to you then feel free to throw it away. We just relate so much to this way of thinking and wanted to say what we'd say to our past selves.