Is this normal?? (No its not)

[The Bards]

TW for not-happy tulpamancy

 

I'm pretty sure we're the kind of system that makes others say stuff like "I think people overexaggerate the capabilities of tulpas."

 

When you break tulpamancy down a lot of it is about trying to relinquish control and allow tulpas to think/act/speak independently, the main problem being is that it's difficult for many tulpas to function without the support of tulpamancers. Is that right? I believe thats right.

 

Now our brain was practically made for tulpamancy, because everything about our system has always been defined as a lack of control. Cinder was never made intentionally, she was one of many imaginary friend, and the only one who didn't leave. The first time we switched was completely unintentional. The second time was intentional, but Bruno wasn't able to switch back, and what resulted was a panic attack. 

 

When Timekeeper joined we were content and felt complete. But then the brain created 2, then 4, then 5, then 6 more altars, most of them unrelated, within the span of 6 months. And one of them is a horrible person. We wanted 4 altars, we have 10, most tulpamancy systems have 2.

 

Our tulpamancer, Ocean, he used to front all the time, 24/7. Now he fronts about 10% of the time. Whoever fronts is usually random and decided by the brain. Switching is a pain too, I feel myself slowly slipping away and I try to grasp at it but its too far out of reach as my identity and another identity blur together. I'm stranded in a space of feeling like no one and everyone simultaneously, and when I finally immerge from it whoever I am is different from who was just there.

 

Other notable things

 

• The Narrator, similar to his game self, developed the ability to completely posses whoever is fronting, and there's absolutely nothing that the fronter can do. We've tested many times, it always works with complete effectiveness. He's saved us multiple time from unfavorable scenarios
• We disagree, a lot, and aren't always able to come up with a solution
• Ocean and Allie used to be one person, but they split. At the moment, Ocean feels everything but anger and to an intense degree, while Allie is only able to feel anger

 

We've never been able to talk about most of this in any tulpamancy space, because we knew we would be judged. We've been told that our experiences were wrong before, because our mental capacities and overall capabilities exceeded those of an imaginary friend. We've seen others try to discuss any negative experiences and get told that they were wrong for being afraid. We are so happy that we are a system, we wouldn't change that for the world, but that doesn't invalidate the bad. We've found comfort in general endo-friendly plural spaces, where our experiences more closely align

 

You don't have to believe us, but we wanted to share these experiences

[fennecfoxx]

Since you asked: No, that isn’t normal. Not for tulpamancy, anyway.

 

Accidental switching should NOT occur, barring the host getting shunted to the front for some reason (e.g., inexperience). A tulpa also shouldn’t be able to seize control without the consent of whoever’s fronting.

 

It also isn’t normal for a tulpamancy system to start forming alters, unless you’re using “alter” as a synonym for “walk-in”. Splitting is also not normal, unless it’s done deliberately. The way you’ve described the split, Allie sounds like a traumagenic alter, unless she was deliberately split off from Ocean (I’m not saying she necessarily is, but AFAIK alters that are “keepers” of specific emotions is mainly a DID thing).

 

I’m no psychiatrist, but this sounds like a case of DID or something similar. What you’re describing sounds close to impossible for a system formed from tulpamancy alone, honestly.

 

If you’re functional and happy the way you are, great! I’m not saying you have to change anything—but, if the way your system functions does cause problems, I’d recommend seeing a psychiatrist. What you’ve described is far from typical tulpa experiences and almost definitely signs of something else underlying.

[The Incans]

1 hour ago, The Bards said:

TW for not-happy tulpamancy

 

I'm pretty sure we're the kind of system that makes others say stuff like "I think people overexaggerate the capabilities of tulpas."

 

 

 I think in some cases the person may have a dissociative disorder or a neurodiverse brain which they may not always be aware of. 

 

‘I’ - Lily was an insider for many years and knew of our others ..I too thought I was just exceptionally good at creating imaginery friends/worlds for many years!  I was the 'teen me’ who disappeared inside many years ago unable to cope with the death of my mother.

 

For us another social mask host formed who took care of external life..there job was to be as normal as possible so no-one ever found out about the rest of us, over the years versions of them split off until there was one who had no knowledge or connection with us insiders. 

 

 

 

I couldn’t take over the front in those days but another insider could take the front at any given moment in time. If myself or one of the littles blended with them inside before they went to the front we could go with them and end up at the front. 

 

With hindsight now and after learning all about DID and Tulpa’s over the last 10 years we can see whats happened and can see the difference between an ‘Alter’ and a Tulpa’. ..many of our alters were simply ‘a different version of me’ and once we had processed what they saw as their ‘trauma’ they re-integrated.  

 

Where we differed to other DID systems is we also had Tulpa..some unintentionally created before we ever understood what a Tulpa was and some later deliberately created after learning we had this ‘ability’. we also let our parts that wanted to re-integrate choose WHO to re-integrate with.

 

For us they had a choice of 3 …with myself who was going to become the new host, with Kitty or with Jess. Both Kitty and Jess are Tulpa….alter parts integrating with them gave them ‘alter abilities’ such as fronting without us ever having to practise  ‘forcing’ and gave them the relevant life skills and memories to match who they wanted to become.

 

Angelo & Bear don’t have alters integrated within them, they live internally only and don’t front...they are more your traditional style created from scratch imaginary friend/Tulpa and were requested by Kitty and Nixy & Star helped with their creation. only difference being as we are a system everyone in the system can see them not just the one who created them! (as would happen with a NT person).

 

Star, Luna & Nixy are our ‘core’ 3 they have been in the system since childhood. Star & Luna are essentially my inner children..Nixy (Phoenix - a changeling) was created by Star in childhood and is their protector.  Nixy also has integrated past alter parts within them giving them the ability to front too. Nixy, Jess and Kitty are essentially 'Tulpa-Alter hybrids!’  Myself, Star & Luna are the remaining  ‘versions of the original self’, though Star & Luna who have remained as internal children have chosen to identify as ‘Tulpa’ because they did not wish to be

re-integrated and wanted to remain seperate living internally with their Tulpa family. 

 

BTW we believe you as we are also ‘not typical’ of either a DID system or a Tulpa system but are happy and live as a family. 

 

Edited July 31, 2025 by The Incans

[Lavender]

I've heard my host consciousness say, "normal is a dryer cycle." Your experience may not be typical, but it's your reality so it's valid and real, and the only thing your system needs to decided is whether it's working or whether changes are needed.

 

14 hours ago, fennecfoxx said:

Accidental switching should NOT occur, barring the host getting shunted to the front for some reason (e.g., inexperience). A tulpa also shouldn’t be able to seize control without the consent of whoever’s fronting.

 

 

Gotta respectfully disagree. My host consciousness and I work together as well as I can imagine any system working, and even we have accidental switching. Most of the time it's my host consciousness forgetting that I'm supposed to be fronting and taking the front back, but it *does* happen that I find myself in the front without specifically having asked to be or been invited. We've done experiments, and either one of us can grab the front if we need to, even if the other is actively trying not to let us.

 

However, we always seem to have a sense of which one of us should be in the front. We're both very cooperative about restoring whoever that is if the other of us finds ourselves in control.

[The Incans]

16 hours ago, Lavender said:

My host consciousness and I work together as well as I can imagine any system working, and even we have accidental switching. Most of the time it's my host consciousness forgetting that I'm supposed to be fronting and taking the front back, but it *does* happen that I find myself in the front without specifically having asked to be or been invited. We've done experiments, and either one of us can grab the front if we need to, even if the other is actively trying not to let us.

 

However, we always seem to have a sense of which one of us should be in the front. We're both very cooperative about restoring whoever that is if the other of us finds ourselves in control.

[Jess]. We agree…Respect is the key here. …our hosts alter parts have not always had respect for each other even when they had finally learned about each other existence but we believe that was because those parts were created from trauma and how previous host parts had been treated in the past by the outside world. 

 

For both Kitty and myself we were created from the perspective of pure love (the hosts love of who our spirits had been when we had a physical body and were physically part of their life). The dynamic between us is very different between what was often present between the past parts created purely from trauma. 

 

We have mastered control for the most part ...but there is always flexibility and we are willing to stand aside if for example host was going to watch something but found it boring …Kitty may ask if its ok if she comes out to cook instead or I may ask if we can play a game and host will switch places with me or Kitty (or one of the littles if they wish to come to play). Eg  yesterday I was out playing and the doorbell rang unexpectedly this 'auto triggers' Lily…knowing that I got up to go to the door and  stepped aside (internally) as Lily reaches the front..by the time we’ve opened the door its Lily greeting the person. ….once the interaction was over Lily stepped aside and let me return to my game.  

 

You can’t always change the way somethings happen if some parts were triggered by trauma (parts getting triggered to front by specific events/sounds etc) but you can agree to work around them together and find a compromise. 

Edited August 1, 2025 by The Incans