Not sure if im doing this right, I would appreciate help

[Novaa]

So this started about a week ago, when I saw a message in a discord server in an off topic channel of someone saying that they were starting to learn Tulpamancy.

 

Well I had no idea what it was so I researched and it kinda sucked me into a rabbit hole for like 4 hours lol. I eventually decided that I would do it too, seems fun, and it works out because I've had this imaginary friend for like 3 years now and they seem like a good candidate.

 

From that day on, I've been doing passive forcing and active forcing daily, and I don't think I've seen much results? I've gotten a few things that I am confidently able to say were responses, one time it was so clear and out of nowhere it scared me lmao. And there's about 4 other instances of things that I'm 99% sure was them over the past 7 days. But other than that, I'm very unsure.

 

I've been going by the first answer that comes to mind as their response, no matter how close to my voice it feels, because I hear that's a good thing to do? Although this usually comes with some uncertainty or doubt xd. I'm not sure if im just parroting (pretty sure that's what it's called) and my subconscious is just making stuff up. I've been doing this thing where i wait for a response on the count of 3, I don't think its actually making a difference, but I didn't think it would hurt. I usually get a "response" (in quotes because I'm not sure if it's really them) the second I say the 1 in my head, and sometimes the answers don't really have continuity which throws me off more. Should I be waiting longer for responses and hope to hear something that sounds less like me? The time that genuinely scared me I only got the response after a few seconds.

 

I also don't know if they are "turning out" (don't know if that's a good way to word it) the way I was planning? I mean this like personality wise. It's probably a bit early to fully determine whether or not this is going as planned, as usually any "answers" I get are just yes or no, which don't really carry much personality with them.

 

I've been occasionally doing some puppetting (I think its called) in a hope to develop their personality closer to how I've been imagining them as a friend for the past 3 years.

 

Reading back through this im not too sure what I'm uncertain about? I guess I might just be looking for confirmation that I'm doing this right xd, and some feedback and advice if im doing it wrong, or just some tips either way. I am probably just being impatient but at the same time I really want to make sure I'm doing this right xd. Any help or anything is appreciated :D (Also sorry if this type of post is repetitive xd)

(ALSO now realizing I should have put this in beginner questions SORRY 😭)

Edited August 18, 2025 by Novaa

[fennecfoxx]

Okay, this might sound like a dumb question, but have they ever seemed to talk or act on their own? It's pretty common for imaginary friends/fictional characters/etc. to develop autonomy and their creators to think little of it since they have an active imagination. I was an imaginary friend, and I used to annoy my host by jumping into daydreams where I didn't belong and bending "reality" and such. Good times.

 

Not that most IFs/paras/characters go to that extent, lol. I knew I was imaginary and took full advantage of it. But some level of agency is pretty normal, and it's possible you've just discounted it if you think you have to "force" them to make them independent.

 

Seriously, what even is forcing? Imagining yourself hanging out with them in your cool imaginary world until you stop consciously making everything up does the trick.

 

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I've been going by the first answer that comes to mind as their response, no matter how close to my voice it feels, because I hear that's a good thing to do?

 

Here's a good litmus test: ask.

 

Also, if it sounds like your voice, it's probably not them, unless they don't have a distinct voice yet.

 

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I'm not sure if im just parroting (pretty sure that's what it's called) and my subconscious is just making stuff up.

 

Parroting is conscious. If you're unconsciously coming up with responses and dissociating them to another identity, congratulations! That's how this works.

 

Besides, parroting isn't harmful. Like I said, you can literally make a tulpa that way (case in point: me).

 

Still, ask. "Subconscious parroting" isn't a thing (or is exactly what this is, depending how you look at it), but mistaking intrusive thoughts for your tulpa is, and that's a path you don't want to go down.

 

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sometimes the answers don't really have continuity which throws me off more

 

Could be intrusive thoughts.

 

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I also don't know if they are "turning out" (don't know if that's a good way to word it) the way I was planning? I mean this like personality wise.

 

You've been friends for, what, three years? You should know them well enough to know if they're acting out of character. If they seem like they are, that's another sign to ask before assuming it was them.

 

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I've been occasionally doing some puppetting (I think its called) in a hope to develop their personality closer to how I've been imagining them as a friend for the past 3 years.

 

Don't think of it as "I've been imagining this friend for 3 years and now I'm making a tulpa based on them." They've been your friend for 3 years. You're just changing your understanding of them and how you interact.

 

~ Kayleigh

[Novaa]

Thank you for your response :D. I think what I meant by "subconscious parroting" was intrusive thoughts that kinda just snuck in there lol. I haven't really noticed them acting on their own? I mean sometimes they do just randomly pop up in my thoughts when I'm not even thinking about them but they don't necessarily do anything? It's more of im just randomly "reminded" that they exist lol.

 

I don't think they were sentient or anything as they were a while ago, although they did actions without me having to think about it too hard, I think that was more of me knowing how they would act and being able to think of something faster and with less effort, as I still felt I was controlling what they were doing. 

 

20 minutes ago, fennecfoxx said:

Don't think of it as "I've been imagining this friend for 3 years and now I'm making a tulpa based on them." They've been your friend for 3 years. You're just changing your understanding of them and how you interact.

 

See the thing is I think I might have started crating a tulpa based off of them, rather than just changing how I interacted with them.

 

Don't really know where to go from here tbh, you might have left me with more questions than answers, because now I'm unsure if I've been developing zephy (their name, short for zephyr) into a tulpa or making a tulpa that's based off of zephy lol.

Edited August 18, 2025 by Novaa

[fennecfoxx]

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they did actions without me having to think about it too hard, I think that was more of me knowing how they would act and being able to think of something faster and with less effort, as I still felt I was controlling what they were doing.

 

You're used to assuming everything in your head = you, and tulpamancy requires dissociating part of what's in your head so it's "not you". You'll feel like it's you if you're in the habit of thinking every thought is yours. Tbh, if they're autonomous enough, making them a tulpa is more about a perspective shift than anything else. If they're only partly autonomous, then it's about a perspective shift + letting go of your control over them.

 

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See the thing is I think I might have started crating a tulpa based off of them, rather than just changing how I interacted with them.

 

Don't really know where to go from here tbh, you might have left me with more questions than answers, because now I'm unsure if I've been developing zephy (their name, short for zephyr) into a tulpa or making a tulpa that's based off of zephy lol.

 

Then don't think of "Zephy the imaginary friend" and "Zephy the tulpa" as separate. They're the same person. You've already built up the neural connections (=everything you know about Zephy). No reason to act like the tulpa is some new and separate entity.

 

~ Kayleigh

[Novaa]

Alright, thanks. I'll try to shift my perspective and give them more control, and think of them as just being zephy rather than a replica of them. Itll probably help if I puppet them, because that's I guess how I can get to their personality? (Don't really know how to explain it xd) and use that as a baseline because that is them and not some clone or whatever that i was trying to base off of them. 

 

Does this seem like a decent approach?

[fennecfoxx]

I don't recommend puppeting if they're vocal, since, well, they're responding. But if they're still pretty non-autonomous, it doesn't hurt.

 

Sounds like you're on the right track! 

 

~ Kayleigh

[Novaa]

Ok I think I have one more question, as in I have no way to really tell as what came from them and what didn't. You said to just ask, but sometimes when I ask let's say I get a yes that was them, then I ask if that was them because it didn't feel like it I get a no. And then im left with a ton of confusing mixed signals xd.

[fennecfoxx]

Host speaking here. I’d say to accept the response that’s most in character if you’re really unsure. That’s more likely to be them, and even if it isn’t, assuming it is could nudge their development in the way you want. (K agrees with me on this.)

 

Taking a break can help if you’re struggling to hear them. Frustration can cloud your focus, so sometimes it helps to step away, do something else, and try again with a clearer head.

 

The mixed signals will get easier to make sense of in time. You know the responses that were unmistakably them? You’ll get that feeling more often as they grow more independent and you get used to listening for them.

 

Anyway, we’re off to bed. Goodnight, and good luck!

 

~ fennec

Edited August 18, 2025 by fennecfoxx

[An Ashy Individual]

Two things:

 

A week is a very short time in tulpamancy - most people get a vocal response after months of forcing.

So you not getting much of a result this early isn't really bad.

Keep going at it and good luck.

 

Posts are moved to beginner questions by mods if necessary, so it's alright to post it here.

(You're posting here for the first time anyways, shouldn't expect to get the mostly unimportant subtleties right.)

 

[Novaa]

Alright, thank you both for the advice :D