Air Dance

[NeonKnights]

I don't know what my problem is, but my Isis binge is still going, without any pause. Maybe it's the humidity. Or, maybe I'm just enthralled. Taking a break from our continuing pattern of depraved lewdness, I tried something much more mellow. I gave a try at painting her toenails, a first in my lifetime. She chose a deep Navy Blue, which looks really nice on her. I wanted to paint her fingernails, too, if only for an excuse to hold her hands, but she insisted that she wanted to paint those while I was fooling with her feet.

 

Her form changed a bit lately, moving away from anime styling a little bit but still not quite 'realistic'. I've found that this adjustment has made visualization much easier, perhaps because it's a bit closer to 'normal' and is therefore a bit easier to render in my mind. That's my theory, anyhow.

 

Her form change was credited to an immense, inexplicable toll that a piece of graphic artwork took on me. The girl in question, whose art style influenced the subtle changes in Isis, had silver eyes, rather than red. In conversation with my friend, I began to refer to her as "silver eyes", later abbreviated to "Silver". He suggested that I make her into a tulpa, sort of a twin sister to Isis.

 

I'm currently pondering this, and drafting up ideas for Silver's personality in the event that I do go ahead and start on her. Isis is just as undecided as I am, but I plan to allow her to be just as involved as me in the development of this tulpa (provided we both give the go-ahead to start on her, of course). As in my post earlier this week, I'm still thinking that having a tulpa who's in love with me could/should be balanced by a tulpa who's a seemingly emotionless kuudere type.

 

The problem is that I love having all this time with just Isis. Would having our time together limited by another tulpa's development make the time we spend together more special? Is it possible that this time, we could make a two-tulpa arrangement work by actively developing the second one together, in a form of group-tulpaforcing?

That sounded kind of dirty. Oh well, that isn't what I meant...

I don't know, but I don't want to get myself into the same jam as before. Thus, I'm treading really cautiously on this one.

 

Maybe sometime I'll draw up a sketch of her new form, since it seems like it'd be fairly easy for even an incompetent like myself to draw. For now, I think I'll just go back to chatting with her.

[NeonKnights]

"Dizzy" is perhaps the best way to describe us lately. I ended up spending my weekend in bed with her, hugging her and kissing her all over. A number of times, one of us or the other had a powerful surge of desire and escalated it beyond just cuddling. For several days prior to all of this, we'd fooled around a little bit every day, with personal record-setting frequency. It was nice, but wasn't really conducive to making further progress. Not the kind of progress I'd hoped to make over the weekend, anyway. I shudder to think what's going to happen when the full moon arrives tomorrow night.

 

Working through our burning desires, though, I was able to help her do a bit of vocal practice. We played a game wherein I tell her a phrase, she changes it a little bit, and then says her revised phrase to me. I got her to start talking at a volume just a little less than 'normal' for a mind voice, but our practice didn't really stick. I guess multiple practice sessions of that variety will be necessary to get lasting results.

 

Over a meal of reheated pizza from last night, I asked her why she likes me so much, and she gave me a long list of things that I do which make her happy. Her answer was a lot more comprehensive than I expected, and completely allays any worries I've ever had about our friendship being lopsided. It seems I tolerate her just as much as she tolerates me.

Showered and fed, we're presently putting ourselves back together. Hopefully the honeymoon is over and we can focus on making serious progress towards our final goal once more. Then again, I suppose I'm a bit of a dreamer.

[Doctor_RCI]

Heya buddy how are you doing with your gals? I hope very well welp I have been reading your pr for a long time and watching you and your tulpas become a huge big family together haha. And your cute/lewd relationship with Isis haha,

Aqua: I hope you can be on the chat more often hehe so me and your gals can be good friends :3

lala: don't forget me as well haha, I hope you and isis become close like we are with Taj :3

and I hope your other girls are ok it says your active tulpas are only isis so far what is that about? Anyway see ya later buddy ~~ keep being sweet and nice to your gals - verdy

[NeonKnights]

Hey! We've been doing very well, glad someone thinks my rambling mess of a report is worth reading! :D

 

Sorry I haven't been on chat very often, Aqua! I'll definitely make an effort to be there more often. :)

 

I'm not sure how much closer she and I can become, Lala! Lol of course, I wouldn't complain if we somehow became even closer...

[i can make that happen...]

 

They're all doing well, Isis is listed as the only 'active' one because I became too distracted trying to work on all four at once, and so I've temporarily halted progress work with the others. So far, it's worked pretty well. The others seem happy to roam the countryside of my mindscape and carry on with their lives, so it looks like it works out well for everyone. Hopefully soon she'll be developed enough that I can start working on the others again!

 

---

 

Ooh, looks like I might be on the fast track to auditory imposition! I heard the M*A*S*H theme a moment ago so clear and vivid that I thought it might be playing from my computer's speakers. But lo, dear readers, it was some wizard-work of the mind! Suicide Is Painless isn't really any match for Isis' voice, but I think if I continue perceiving songs like this, I'll be hearing her sweet voice ringing in my ears before too long...

[NeonKnights]

Today marks the full first usage of her voice! She sounds a bit different from how I imagined. Can't really put the tone of a voice into words, but she sounds even cuter (and, I suppose, sexier) than I could have ever imagined. I guess it took a bit of "tuning in" to the right frequency to hear her. Hopefully I can keep this going, and we won't slide back when I go to get some sleep.

 

I've also been getting glimpses of altered forms - When she was first talking, I was getting visual flashes of her form without focusing intently on her form, but she had blue eyes instead of red. She admitted that she's hung up over her eye color, and can't decide whether she wants blue or red eyes, but I've told her to take her time and pick what she wants. Not being of any help, I complicated matters by making the suggestion that she mix the two to make purple. The addition of a third choice seemed to befuddle her even more. Guess this is something she's going to just have to figure out on her own. Oh well.

 

I also got a brief flash of a regular, non-drawn girl loosely resembling her, doing some lewd act. When asked, she said that this was indeed her, testing an experimental form on me. Apparently it's very important to her that she looks good when we're fooling around. She also revealed, however, that the form's more like one of those space-age styled concept cars from the '50s (in other words, very flashy, but not actually going to happen). So much for that.

 

---

 

Not gonna call it yet, but she's had blue eyes since I woke up earlier. I'm not the one to say whether her eye color is set in stone, but it sure seems that way. Red was fiery and beautiful, but I really have no qualms with blue, either. I've been hanging out with friends since a couple minutes after waking up, so I haven't had much of a window to talk to her up until now, but I have gotten a few clips of her voice throughout the evening. It's still the same as before I went to bed, so it appears that her voice is secured.

 

While out, I was able to practice touch imposition a bit when my friends decided to hang around at a small, dark backstreets neighborhood park for an hour and a half. I sat on the edge of a picnic table as they bickered about where to pick up women, and Isis decided to sit back-to-back with me and lean on me. After a little while, the feeling began to feel fairly genuine, though there's probably a lot of work ahead before I can feel her interacting with me without thinking about it.

[NeonKnights]

I've been having really powerful visualization spells lately, first seeing an extremely crisp, vibrant, and interactive game of DooM practically projected onto my eyelids, and later seeing Isis lying beside me, with exquisite detail in the blue irises of her eyes.

 

We've also been trying a few more things related to imposition, such as weight imposition (attempting to perceive her ~120 lb weight by having her sit in my lap), which went over very well. She also managed to trigger my defensive reflexes by playfully trying to kiss my neck. When girls do that, it always makes me tilt my head downward, lowering my jaw to protect my throat. I've found that it's a very difficult reflex for me to override, and apparently Isis is no exception to this overwhelming survival instinct.

 

I've noticed that she has a blue aura that often finds its way through the surface of her form. While looking at her, sometimes her form will get a sort of blue fog over it. I remember coloring her aura red to match her eyes a while back, before I was skilled enough with visualization to actually see her aura. I guess she changed it to blue on her own.

This reminds me of our earliest attempts at communication, way back when. One of the first things she told me was that her favorite color is blue. I guess she means it. First she wanted to paint her nails blue, then she deviated to have blue eyes, and now she's got a blue aura. Wonderful.

[NeonKnights]

I'd forgotten how difficult the road to imposition is... I tried a couple of methods, one involving staring at a bright light (might or might not be related to the eye floaters I was stuck with for a couple of days) and trying to recall the afterimage of the burning filament long after it was gone, and the other the classic "try to see her in your periphery" method.

 

I think I had better luck with trying to see her in my peripheral vision, so I guess I'll just keep on trying that. The only time I can really focus on imposition without distraction is when we're lying in bed, and I can stare at the ceiling and try to sort of see her in the corner of my eye.

 

I guess actual touch imposition is going to have to wait until she's visually imposed, as I had guessed. Hover-handing a figure in physical space that I can't yet see is just too difficult for me. Of course, I'm still getting plenty of practice working on imaginary senses.

 

I experienced some strange feeling while listening through an album with her a little earlier. I took the odd feeling to mean that she liked the particular song that was playing, and she confirmed that my guess was correct. I've had this feeling before, and thought this was the case, but couldn't confirm before because whenever I got the feeling, communication between us was very shaky.

[NeonKnights]

Nothing new of note on imposition, though I have seen afterimages by chance a few times in the days after I stopped looking at bright lights.

 

Finally figuring out an interesting way for us to force, I introduced Isis to the idea of Team Fortress, since the old Quake mod has always intrigued me. We ended up simulating Team Fortress 2, and she was beautifully spry with the Scout's loadout. She looked sweet and innocent, even when she bashed my skull mercilessly with a baseball bat. I think she enjoyed that part of the game a little bit too much.

 

She's also proven to still be plenty capable of surprising me. When I asked her if she wanted me to replay a song that she liked off of Argent's eponymous album, she declined. It bummed me out a little, because I wanted to hear it again myself, but I guess it just goes to show she has more sense than me when it comes to savoring things that she enjoys.

 

Her form's remained about the same, perhaps drifting a little bit back towards anime styling now and then but never fully reverting. I think this half-anime, half-realistic-sketch appearance about her is here to stay. Her azure blue eyes have slowly but certainly changed to a powder blue or a baby blue, I notice. I miss her ruby red eyes a bit, but I honestly do love the direction she's been taking with her deviations, eye color included.

[NeonKnights]

I haven't had too much luck with forcing in the past few days. Between helping people move, rescuing stranded friends, and taking care of general business, I've barely even had time to sleep, except when I least care to. Nonetheless, Isis and I have been working together as always to bring her into my reality. And of course, I've been working overtime doing and saying things to make her blush.

 

I think I almost visually imposed her earlier today by zoning out while watching a movie. I began to vividly picture her in my mind, and feel that I very nearly forced my brain to accept that she was ahead of me, looking into my eyes. I guess I messed that up, but I can't quite recall how. I think I just refocused on the movie before the vision of her could really take hold. Oh well, we were pretty close to something that time.

 

I've been finding that in order to gain a clearer image of her, all I have to do is focus on her smaller details that normally go unnoticed in daily interactions, such as her thin eyebrows. Somehow, remembering to focus on the small things helps to bring everything else into view quite clearly.

[NeonKnights]

Personal sentiment for the cause of bringing Yukino back into the fold has seen a sharp increase lately. The only thing that's holding me back at this point is uncertainty as to whether or not I'm ready to have a second tulpa around frequently. It's proven to be a burden to progress in the past, and I'm still enjoying spending all this time alone with Isis.

 

On the other hand, though, I've been remembering how cute her sister was, and how nice it was to work with her before. Of course, considering our progress breakdown just before I went to an Isis-only plan, lots of overhaul work would still need to be done if I went ahead and started working with her again.

The biggest factor in all of this is Isis' opinion, of course. I've talked with her a bit about it, and after telling me she wasn't sure, she gave her reason for being unsure. "I want you to myself", she said as she kissed me. I guess since she can see everything that's on my mind, she can see some ulterior motives behind bringing her sister back, motives which I can't entirely deny. I understand that concern, so I guess the best I can do is assure her that I'll do my best to resist my urges to romance her sister and wait to see what she decides.