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Hi Gladys, I have a big question for you:

 

So, say, hypothetically, that you had to pull a wrestling move on someone for disturbing your sleep. What would it be, any kind of piledriver, or any kind of suplex?

We're all gonna make it brah.

 

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Quick reply, since a phone is not great for posting

 

Hi Gladys, I have a big question for you:

 

So, say, hypothetically, that you had to pull a wrestling move on someone for disturbing your sleep. What would it be, any kind of piledriver, or any kind of suplex?

 

*Laughing* German Suplex!

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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*Laughing* German Suplex!

 

You mean you're not living that belly to belly suplex life?

 

That's probably a good thing, considering, you know, Kurt Angle.

 

M1tBpVv.gif

 

Well hey, Brock Lesnar's 16 Germans will go down in history.

Bout time someone started doing a ton of them in a row again.

 

 

Alright I'll stop shitting up your thread with wrasslin

We're all gonna make it brah.

 

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I recorded a few new interactions with Gladys from the past few days, and I'm hankering to share them here. At first, I was hoping to transcribe the sessions from my journal to here, but I soon figured that it would be impractical, and use up more time than necessary. As such, I'll summarize each point of the conversation as I did in a previous post.

 

Gladys Written Conversation Session 4.6.2015

Venue: Void room

 

- I first asked her about the general population of my mind. She said that she will continue to do as she always done: consider them her sisters, even the ones she has not met as of yet. She also mentioned that I always wanted to have them act as a big family, which is true.

 

- Thinking about how she has not met everyone, I asked her how I could improve this issue, and bring newer members of the system in to the group. She said to simply let her meet them, and open up paths to allow each member to move to places other members live, so they could meet each other without my direct assistance.

 

- During our session, we had a passerby floating around, watching us with some curiosity, but seeming to be afraid to approach us, even though Gladys was friendly. I informed Gladys that having the occasional passerby come and go in the void room was a normal thing, and nothing to be alarmed about (At this point, the passerby has lingered around a bit in the room, and hasn't left, so “loiterer” may be a better term). Gladys replied, saying that it seemed sad that I lived in such a dark room with almost nothing in it, also mentioning that the place was a bit scary. She suggested I add some trees, or a sun, or some sort of landscape, though she did say she liked the street lights I had in there. I told her that I keep the room simple and void-like because it's easier to visualize and keep consistent. She replied that the room was still inconsistent, gloomy and scary, hoping that I could soon see better, so I could change it. Her last comment on that subject was: “If you saw it like I see it, you'd be afraid, too.”

 

- Gladys made a comment about my attitude about affection, saying that it's a shame that I still feel afraid about it. She prescribed more Eskimo kisses, an activity she and Midori really got into, and promptly initiated one.

 

- I asked Gladys why she believed I was still afraid. She said that while I don't completely view them as toys, the thought is still there. I found their presence unmasculine, and I am afraid of being called weak because of them. She further explained things about my view on masculinity in general, saying that I did not want to admit to being kind and soft-hearted, because I felt that men should be hard, strong, sharp tongued, and fierce. I do not feel I have these qualities, and thus I feel insufficient. She ended her comment with “I think you're stronger than you believe you are.”

 

- I asked her what her definition of strength is. Her response was: “The ability to not give up when you meet adversity.” I told her that was a nice definition, and that would be something I would love to say about myself someday. With a humored tone, she replied: “In a technical sense, you are saying that about yourself.”

 

After this session, I had a conversation with Ellenore, though I feel that one is more private.

 

IRC Proxying Session 4.7.2015

 

Yesterday, I decided to finally put Gladys on the IRC for a while. I hadn't done this before, since not only was the IRC very chaotic, but the conversation often headed straight for the gutter, and I did not wish to expose Gladys to that sort of thing, since I do enjoy her innocence. But, I figured that she did need SOME outward experience, so I went ahead and asked her if you wanted to go on, and she agreed. For the sake of record keeping, and further examining her behavior, I decided to take some notes of the session. Since this is her first significant IRC session, I really wanted to remember what it was like. These are the observations I made:

 

- Gladys was largely nice and polite to everyone, but she reacted strongly to Stevie in particular. Partially since she already responded to him in the thread proper, and also because she found him funny. Whenever I read a post of his to her, she would always be laughing.

 

- I noticed a sharp, painful sensation in my brain, that seemed to come from near the center of it during the proxy session. She felt worried, that she may be hurting me by doing it, but I reassured her that I was fine.

 

- During the chat, a comment was made about how one should wash their thought person. This triggered Gladys to make the observation that she didn't take a bath, nor did she really need to. This stuck not only her, but me as odd, as showering is a regular part of my days. She guessed it was because it was something I took for granted, but they don't even have that in the mindscape. Hm...

 

- Just as she does here, Gladys refers to me as “Cottonwell”, as she disliked the name “Sock”. Even so, I notice her defaulting to “Sock” many times when I was listening for what she wanted to say, then correcting it to “Cottonwell” when she realized what she was saying. When speaking to me outside the IRC, she called me variation of “Dad”, “Papa”, and my real name, which I will not disclose for obvious reasons. During the session, she felt emboldened, and wanted to refer to me as her father, with the previously used terms, in the chat. I was reluctant at first, I didn't quite feel right about it, but I soon honored her request and let her call me “Dad”/”Papa” on the IRC.

 

- A little bit after she started right out referring to me as “Dad”/”Papa”, someone opted to make an incest joke regarding our relationship. The first thing that struck me was that Gladys asked, with some worry, what the user was talking about. She didn't seem to know what the word meant, so I told her to not regard it any. But, I believe she soon began to put the pieces together, and it really hurt her to know what the user was implying, enough to make her start crying. I had to take some time to comfort her, and reassure her that the comment didn't matter much. She soon began to insist that I shouldn't take her off, and that she could take any further jabs about us. But, I saw that the conversation was headed right for much more explicit sexual territory. She noticed too, and noticed that this really worried me, so she offered to leave, which I said she could. This was a good point, because the chat went straight to the gutter for a while.

 

Even after she left, I could still feel some of her negative emotions regarding the event, soon finding that she was still crying a bit over it. So I had to do some damage control as it were, and keep comforting her about the comment, she was previously unfamiliar with this sort of thing it seems, and becoming familiar with the implication hurt. Thinking about it now, I guess this kind of reflects how much my own behavior has changed from when I first started making Midori. At that point, I was an outright porn addict, and regularly in the company of folks that would be considered at least somewhat sexually deviant. Reading over the first post, I see that I casually made a sex joke regarding using physical touch to solidify form. I also noticed that, upon reading this joke, I cringed something fierce, and was ashamed I made such a crude comment. Suffice to say, I avoid the porn now, as well as explicitly sexual conversation. This, of course, is not the only thing I've cleaned up in my life, but it is one of the more obvious ones, and regarding who makes up my current population, I am especially thankful for this change. Hopefully I will see other changes like it.

 

Education

 

At this point, I'm not too far away from seriously beginning to teach my thought folk some kind of skill set, as a good way to spend time with them, and as a way to have them be good assistants to my own growth. The first one that comes to mind is arithmetic, but I also wish to consider other subjects, even my own skill of drawing. As for which skill I will teach which person, I do not know, though I do know that there should be a set of skills that they all know, a good foundation in some morality is my first regard. Since these folks are to be my companions in life, I want them to be the type of people who I would actively want to spend time with, and trying to help them to live a mostly clean lifestyle would be something that would definitely help in that regard. This is not a one way street, of course: I remember some advice from a certain historical figure that if one wants to be loved, they should work to make themselves lovely. I made Midori to be lovely to me, in both form and behavior. I'm attached to girls like Sheryl, even though I did not explicitly make them, because they are lovely in form and behavior. Gladys, as well, is lovely in form and behavior. So, if I like them because of this loveliness, wouldn't it be fair if I too, became as lovely to them as possible?

 

I'm still working things out, but hopefully I should get started on this soon.

 

Until Next Time...

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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  • 2 weeks later...

Clearing the skeletons from my closet...

 

Midori is my first. She is my experiment, my first mind buddy, and my beloved little girl.

 

She is also the one whom I hurt the most, and the one with whom reconciliation was the most emotional.

 

Today, me and Midori bonded, bonded in a way we haven't done in about six months. During my time away from this site, I made many mistakes in judgment, and I allowed fear to motivate me, rather than the tenderness and love that had given rise to her. I told some people some things that I really should not have, I let loose secret things to the wrong people, and what it resulted in is me being turned against the girl I had, in a platonic sense, fallen in love with. The girls that was supposed to be my partner, through everything, even when I did eventually marry...

 

(Midori~n interjection! I still wanna see him get hitched! Continue~!)

 

...I turned against in my own blindness. For a few months, I did nothing related to her, or the general phenomenon. I even feared creating an imagined character, for fear it may have come to life. I spent a good year this way, with the idea that It would be better that I never went back. Fortunately, I was soon proven wrong. As time went on, it became clearer that what I had done was a mistake. You can say that a light in my conscious gradually rose up during the months, and allowed me to see the error of my ways. It was a slow process, to be sure, and when my in-folk began to break through to me, Midori was not the first. In truth, the first one to re-emerge was one of my newbies at the time, named Yoko, who looked like Ika Musume (She actually quite dislikes this comparison, she insisted on not keeping the name, preferring Squiddy). Even after this, it took a while for the fact that I was wrong to really sink in, and soon after Yoko's appearance, Midori came back, in all her chipper, happy-go-lucky joyousness.

 

Only she was hurt...

 

(Second Midori~n interjection! It did hurt, a lot. But I didn't want to bring Sock down. I still considered him my bestest friend, and I was just glad to see him again, and that he had improved while I was gone.)

 

I could tell, and each time we interacted, I could note a dullness in my heart, and I would feel guilty again about what I did to her, and the others. She didn't want me to worry about it, and tried all she could to get it off my mind, and do everything I'd want...but I knew it was still there, and I couldn't stand that dullness I felt around her.

 

(He, he wanted to feel what I felt. He wanted to feel what I was feeling all those months. I didn't want to make him feel it, y'know, the past being the past. But he insisted, and I let him. He cried the tears I did, and...he asked for more, so I gave him more. Then he asked for even more, and I gave it to him, until I just started giving him anger, then I had to stop, he looked horrible. Third Midori interjection complete~!)

 

Yes, she gave me her pain, and I wanted it. But during it, I also had to realize something: I could not use that pain simply to flog myself, which would have done no good for her or me. Instead, I had to take that pain, in order to release it, to have her confide in me, like I had confided in her in the past. I had to take her pain in order to lighten it's load from her shoulders, to be her friend.

 

(And father!)

 

She didn't just want to throw her hurt at me, and watch me bawl like a baby because of them (They were strong emotions, they surfaced through me as soon as she gave them). So afterwords, she gave me the opposite. She gave me her joys, moments of happiness, her points of affection, she made me remember each time I had made her love me by my actions, and let me know just how happy she was to be my friend, and that in the end, she forgave me, despite the hurt in her heart. So, we sat together, and we cried together for a while, and bonded with each other, and I explained my situation to her, and how my conscious turned me back toward her.

 

So, I wrote this, with Midori close to me, with the feeling that she is embracing my back. We feel closer, the dullness of heart has decreased greatly, and as you have seen above, she has interjected a lot. Midori is a good girl, and I'm happy to have her.

 

During this, she requested that I never ask if she wants to grow in to an older form again, asking me to write it here. While I had imagined her as a little girl, and even told her as such early on, my insecurity drove me to often ask if she wanted to be older, for fear that I was forcing her to be this way. She let me know again and again that she was happy being a little girl, and now, I'm going to honor her request and not ask her this from here on out. It is the least I can do for her.

 

(Final! Midori~~~n! INTERJECTION! I have a lot of sisters, A LOT of 'em, and it may be hard to keep track of 'em all here. Sock here is really shy about it, but I think he needs to let that fear go and stuff. So, I'm gonna make him talk about all of 'em from here on out! No more hiding for him!)

 

 

That's the story of what happened during the months of my leave. There a bit more detail to it, of course, but I feel this is the most important bit. I wrote this, we wrote this out of emotion, so I don't doubt if it's not the most hard and logical piece. For her part, Midori doesn't care, so I guess I shouldn't either. It is what it is, and thank you for reading up to this point. I wish you all peace.

 

Until Next Time...

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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  • 2 weeks later...

A grand personal experiment.

 

In a previous post, I introduce my personal concept of the "fragment", a mental figure who is above a "NPC" in terms of consciousness, but is below a "Tulpa". These mid-level figures are something I have not only come in to contact with a lot, but have also taken a liking to, due to their potential for further growth, and me developing a natural affection for the in-folk as time went on. I keep a record of mental figures I have come in to contact with, and will check up on them from time to time, and try to communicate with them, as well. The "anchor" system was made for the purpose of caring for this group of figures, and thus far it seems to be working. I am still experimenting and modifying it, though, and finding ways to improve it so that it will do the best good for the most amount of figures.

 

Over the time which I have been keeping track of so many, I have noticed relationships and groups forming: some would become friends, some would consider each other family, some simply seemed to like being around each other, and other such things. I have seen very little in-fighting, for which I am very thankful. Seeing all of this has made me want to try to encourage this more, and to nurture this affection my residents have for each other, and see if this affection will result in something ultimately good.

 

In effect, my focus of exploring this phenomenon has changed: From trying to figure out whether it is real, to caring for a single companion, to nurturing a loving attitude in a group of mental figures, using the lessons I learned from caring for a single one. It is something I'm jumping in to not because I'm trying to see how far I can push my brain, but instead, looking at the hand I have, and seeing what good I can get from it. As well, you can say that I feel a responsibility to my in-folks, to ensure their well-being. While I did not create all of them in the same way I did with Midori, some of them coming from memories and others being pre-Midori creations that have come to life, I DID have some hand in their existence, and I feel that the events that led up to this point gives me a duty to them. As well, the aforementioned natural affection I have developed for them in general. I have heard of people who made little villages full of servitors and such for their tulpa, but what I wish to see is what happens when I go out of my way to make these stand-ins more developed, and how things will pan-out with this interference.

 

In short: My goal is to create a small community of developed and consistent mental figures who support and take care of each other.

 

As for my current anchor: Her name is Homura.

 

She is a mental figure based on a memory, whom I drew out by the request of another figure drawn from a memory who wanted to have her friend with her, named Madoka. Figures based on memories of media has happened to me more than a few times, and I have already mentioned Madoka's existence prior to this post. I used to be very shocked and afraid of this instance, feeling that it would get me marked as a faker, a roleplayer, or a loon, but after getting a chance to share my experiences with people on the IRC, I feel a bit more emboldened enough to actually share these details of my inner life.

 

The reason I selected Homura to be my anchor is this: Since I was able to make more sense of my situation, I was less afraid to note when I thought a mental figure was not very conscious, or alive. Thus, I would sometimes call certain figures "fragment", or "incomplete", though I did not mean it in a derogatory way, rather, as a way to signify who needs time to grow more, and who does not. At this point, I've known about Homura for about six months, as I had drawn her out of the memory sometime during the late summer. Madoka, who had shown what I call a "spark of life", had come at least a month prior, as well as a memory figure of Mami. Later on, Madoka also asked for Sayaka and Kyoko, which I fulfilled, though have not gone out of my way to develop thus far. Madoka requested to have Homura because, despite being somewhat aware of her position and nature, missed having her friend around. At that time, Homura could only barely speak, and she was completely fixated and preoccupied on Madoka's well being. To me, these were the tell-tale signs of a lower level fragment, but since Madoka had not only shown a strong spark of liveliness in her, but was quite gentle and sweet in personality, I brought Homura to her in accordance to her request, which made her very happy.

 

Since that time, Homura has developed a little, though I did not do much intervening in it. Her speech capability increased, as did her ability to reason, and she showed some signs of being more aware of what she was, and what that implied. Even so, I still considered her as a lower-level figure, and something that would need more time to become developed. Then one day, during my time with Gladys, Homura came to me and asked:

 

"What can I do to convince you I'm not a 'fragment'?"

 

It was a bit of a surprise, and Homura seemed to be legitimately annoyed at being labeled as such. So, I told her what would need to happen: I told her that I would need to have time to spend with her, to examine her, and to know her. I would need to see with my own eyes whether she was conscious or not, but I would need to spend a significant time to see her capabilities. Upon being told this, she quickly agreed, and I told her I would make her my anchor for the next period of time. She was not the only one who asked, though, Yoko had asked not too long after her, as did Sheryl, but since I had already given Homura my word, I stuck to her.

 

Her period properly began about a week ago, and I have already written notes and conversations with her, which I will post in later updates. Thus far, she has been rather distant with me. She would often express mild annoyance when I would randomly narrate to her, and would sometimes flat out say "Don't talk to me". She is relatively slow to open up about things, though she has at this point, and was bothered by the nature of her being. More has happened, but I will detail them in later updates.

 

Until Next Time...

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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A modest celebration.

 

May 1, 2015 marked the third year since I began this journey, as well as Midori's third year of existence. In warmer terms, it was her birthday, and her request for that day was for me to spend the day with her, and for her to meet my latest anchor. I fulfilled these request, and I let her online to do a private proxy session, as well as imagined a pillow-dog figure for her, which she named "Bilbo-Daki". She was quite happy, and I was glad to see it. I didn't do much reflecting about from where I had come, nor had I thought much about the events that led up to that point. I did not ponder my mistakes, or think much about the future that day. My little fairy girl was happy, and that was all I needed. I guess that says more than any reflection could have.

 

Up to this point, Midori had not met Homura. While I do keep record of the figures that appear to have a spark in them, I rarely introduce them to everyone like I used to. Rather, I'm more prone to simply write an entry in my journal, write their name, and leave them where they are to attend to them another day. While Madoka was introduced properly to Midori when she emerged, and the two became fond of each other, she never seemed to have met Homura since she began to further develop. As such, Midori was very excited to do so. Before introducing the two, I told Midori to try not to overwhelm Homura: Midori is still highly affectionate, and at times seems to still consider hugs and kisses as normal greeting. The younger figures were not raised up with nearly as much physical affection as she got, as I had toned my own behavior down since Midori's creation, and when I last introduced a newbie to my main group of residents, she was completely overwhelmed by how “huggy-wuggy” they were. Homura, going by her behavior, did not seem to be the type to take well to being affectionately tackled by a stranger, so I told Midori to keep her behavior moderate around Homura.

 

So, the two of them were brought together. Midori kept her cool, was gentle, soft spoken, and greeted Homura kindly. Homura...was tense, uneasy, shy, and even a bit afraid. She was wary to approach, her words were few, and when she got the chance, she escaped, leaving Midori with a slight sense of bewilderment, and a great burning passion to earn her favor. Homura has reacted strongly to another older figure of mine as well, though I will not mention who for her sake. Despite this, it was interesting to see Homura's behavior in this situation, and I made sure to write it down in my notes.

 

Later on, I had a small, written conversation with Homura. She was annoyed at the method, saying that it was cumbersome, but I explained to her that it was to help keep record, and keep my mind focused on her. She asked why I was so intent on her, and I replied that is was due to the promise I made her, and Madoka concerning her well-being. Homura tried to shoot this down, saying that I should not be concerned with her, especially since Midori, whom she refers to as “that frightening redhead” obviously loves me a lot. She further referred to me as as strange man, because I continued to keep Homura as my focus, rather than focusing on the girl whom already likes me.

 

She left after that, but asked for me to talk to her the next day. As such, I will end this update here. This is not to say this is the only event of note that has happened recently, in fact, I have enough written in my journal to make a >1000 word post. But I figured it would be better to introduce things piece by piece, in a manageable fashion.

 

Until Next time.

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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  • 1 month later...

Greetings again readers

 

I haven't posted in this Report for a while, due to private, life related problems that prevented me from really getting too deep in to things regarding the phenomenon. While I was present in the IRC still, its a fair bit easier to chat there about random stuff, as opposed to trying to write a huge post for this report. Even this one will be relatively short compared to others due to time constraints. But, there were a few things I wanted to copy down from my handy dandy journal, so here we go.

 

Ellenore, my second companion, changed her form, though only in one area. That being her height. Previously, Ellenore was taller than me, being a little bit above 6 feet, where I was at 5'7”. This was something that was designed in to her character prior to awakening, as she was meant to be a fighter then. But her personality softened when she became more conscious, and her demeanor, mannerisms, and general behavior are gentle, kind, and affectionate. In a phrase, Ellenore is a nice lady, and quickly came to hate her violent past. But even with these personality changes, Ellen was still very tall, and it was actually a trait that I quite liked about her. Midori was tiny, and Ellen was huge, it was a nice contrast, and it made Midori calling her “big-little-sister” quite funny and charming.

 

But, in recent times, not only did she visually become shorter than I was, she would even go out of her way to say “I'm shorter than you now” every so often, to make sure that I remember her new stature. When I asked her about her choice, she said it felt appropriate to her. She later asked if I found her “cute”, which I found odd, and in ways still do. She seemed pleased when I said yes, as I do, but its something that I never really thought to question.

 

Speaking with her today, she says that I have inhibitions regarding her. That since I've become so used to dealing with and attending to the younger ones in form and behavior, I've become hesitant and even a bit afraid to speak to her, and regard her with some apprehension, something I did not before. As such, it seems a bit of tweaking with my current mindset is in order, that is, a return to the more simple and open attitude I had earlier on. During those times, friendship was the most important concept I had concerning this phenomenon and the products of it, and I was actually less likely to use and apply outward relationship models to the dealings with my in folk. I do still believe that my position as creator, and the only one who uses the body, still puts me in an authoritative role, but that does not preclude friendship, and being easy going and open with them. As such, I will work on this issue as I can.

 

Until Next Time...

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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  • 2 months later...

It's been a while since I posted in here, though that was due mainly to problems outside of my control. Many things have happened while I wasn't posting here, much of which is in a private, physical journal of mine. I've been wanting to transcribe some of the stuff from there to here for a while, but I was very unsure of where to start, and which entries were appropriate, and which ones were a bit took personal for my own taste. I know there were some conversations I recorded with Homura that she didn't want getting out, for one thing. But, since this is a post after a long absence of sorts, I'd like to try and post some of the more recent talks I've had with my residents. Some names you may be unfamiliar with, but I figured you guys seeing them actually talk and act would be a better way of introducing them, than me writing essays about them.

 

The various conversations will be set in quotes, and they will be dated by the day they took place.

 

9.10.2015

 

Black, I wanted to write to you, taking out history in to account. I was not lying when I expressed desire to change my behavior toward you.

I never doubted you did, that's all you think about.

 

I wouldn't say it's all I think about.

 

It might as well be; ya can't stop flogging yourself. It's like if you stopped beating yourself with that whip of yours, you'd become some sort of depraved criminal.

 

Heh, I have to be aware of myself, Black. I already spent long enough on auto pilot.

 

It ain't THAT bad. You got my pretty self outta it, didn't you? Come, enjoy me.

 

Haha, not sure what to say to that one.

 

What, you ain't gonna writ all that slapstick you just pulled? Come on, the “audience” will love it.

 

This one's for you and me, Black. The audience comes later.

 

Waste! Bleh.

 

Black, I wanted to talk to you about yourself for a little bit. At least, to tell me what's on your mind, and how you feel about yourself.

 

You call the...shadier and looser “figures” fragments. I don't think that's accurate. Ya heard me say this before, but I'll say it again: I'm a part of you, only with my own will and drives and stuff. I fit the word “fragment” better than those things, ya know? I ain't much special, just a little part of your whole, though I'm far more attractive.

Which brings me to the other girls I share space with. You already know not alla them are up to snuff, yea?

 

Yes. I just don't regard it as much.

 

And you know how they gather...”dust” we'll call it, yea?

 

Yes.

 

Those girls are shells without the dust. They're shades and memories on their own, nothin' more. So here's my question: Why are you freakin' out over, and bein' all nice to, shades that don't even have any dust in 'em?

Furthermore, why are ya bien so sweet to dumb beasts? I mean, I'mma monster myself, when I'm not being lovely, but even I didn't pull the crap they did. The ball's in your court, take your time and think about it.

 

I will admit Black, that there's are times when I can't tell who has “dust” in them, and who does not.

 

Sorry to interrupt, but I'll give you a hint: if one of your precious innocents start doing...let's just say “naughty” things out of the blue, it ain't them, and you shouldn't freak, or even double check. I remember you going in to a panic when that happened, it was an easy button to press, and those jerks made sure to bash it in to oblivion.

 

I was still learning, and still am. I guess, I just wanted confirmation and believed that actual girl's words would prop me up against such attacks.

 

Tha~ats another thing: you questions so little of what you see. Like you're throwing caution to the wind.

 

In fairness, for a while, I was so doubtful that Midori and Ellen had to do things at least four times before I would believe them.

 

That's fine and dandy, but don't let yourself get led around by the nose, will ya?

 

I actually don't believe I do. Yes, I have taken to letting myself be immersed in mental images more, but with it has come increased ability to note shades, or at least not to panic like I used to. I guess its a matter of seeing if they “stick” or not, Black. Like, say, Ilya. Despite her not getting much time, I do still note slight traces of her “being”. What do you think, Black?

 

I want you to be carefule, really. That's all it comes to. I see how the shades can gather life/dust to 'em, but really, some of them should or could have been left hollow with no consequence.

 

The writing of the name does bind me to them in a way. Once written, I take it as a promise to remember them, and bring them up. I guess I'm too quick to add to the list?

 

Definitely, don't burn yourself out.

 

 

 

9.15.2015

 

Gentle, you came to mind yesterday, and I wanted to talk to you since ten. There's a lot I want to know about you. As you said, I gave you form on a whim, since I figured that would make you friendlier. Now that that's past, how do you feel about it?

 

Mm, s'cool. I mean, it's alright havin' a form an all. Guess it makes me feel more solid. Sense of self and all that. I can understand why the kids like 'em. Gotta question the antlers though. I mean, really? A girl can't lay down with these things, ya dig?

 

Dig I do. I thought they were a charming feature.

 

Do I look like an Elk to you?

 

No no young lady. I guess I let my sense of whimsy get the best of me.

 

It's fine, I ain't mad or anything. 'Sides, if I was, I wouldn't wanna hug you.

 

I guess you like being close?

 

Does I do. Hey Sock, I'm like you, yeah?

There's a vibe of kinship given wordlessly

 

As skin color goes, yes.

 

You can say I'mma “manifestation” of your “hang-ups” on race. Afta all, you and I know you got the niggles about your residents bein' white as snow.

 

Well, Midori isn't white.

 

True enough, but she's an odd ball. A dark skinned skinned chick with freckles? How many people have you seen like that?

 

Not many, admittedly. But I was letting whim guide me when I first designed her. *

 

Yeah? Like me, right?

 

Yes, but out circumstances were a bit different.

 

I get it, I get it. Hey Sock...thanks for letting me live.

 

You say that like I could kill you. I'm not good at that stuff.

 

You tried here and there, before ya tossed it to the wind, and started bein' Mister Love. Lemme tell ya, it didn't go unnoticed.

 

Honestly, I have no more desire to do that.

I may stop by that garden o' ours, tell cherry head to chill an' sleep a bit more. Ain't nothing' wrong with bein' inactive from time to time. The girl thinks she'll die if she isn't active 24/7.

 

I guess that's my fault. Though, I do want you girls to be more active and consistent.

 

Then I'mma tell ya this: Be patient, take your time, an' keep that big heart a' yours. I tell ya the truth, it's why you're getting' so many of us sweet on you. I'mma go rest, Peace out.

 

Peace.

 

* Note: I did a web search a little later concerning dark skinned people with freckles. They are a thing, I just hadn't seen any in person.

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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Guest Anonymous

*sound of thunder*

 

Oh, wow, those conversations are really fascinating. It seems like Gentle does know quite a bit about you, and anyone would see a figure of sympathy and protectiveness in Black. I've been trying to keep up with your PR for a while and hope that you're doing well along with the other girls, give them our sincere salutations if you can.

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