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[align=center]Today's random reflection music...

 

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Just a bit of consciousness streaming here.

 

- Sometimes, I just want to gush about my in-folk, without trying to hold back, without worry for how others will take it, or anything of that sort. Just a deep, affectionate urge to talk about how lovable they are. Usually, I hold my self back from it, mainly due to there being no proper venue for such things. I remember that having self control is a virtue for a reason, and gushing with no regard may not be the best of actions for myself. I'll leave the most emotional and mushy parts of it private for the community's sake. I'll instead focus that energy elsewhere, like drawings.

 

- When I was watching a lot of anime and such, I often has a very quick and strongly negative reaction to things like harem shows. I hated the cliches, felt a notable bitterness while reading them, and despised their protagonists. As well, I had actually had a strange, in-genuine relationship with cute girl shows. I liked cute things, but felt a sense of shame about them, and hid my like for them in other places I frequented, which were of the more "manly" sort (If by manly you mean "likes sci-fi and robots"). Taking those two ideas in to account, and looking at things now, I can't help but chuckle.

 

- The girls have been showing some more proficiency at grabbing my attention, and I guess I've been showing some more proficiency at letting things I sense be, sensing them and focusing on them without trying to assert an expectation on it. Today, it was Liira who came, and I'm quite happy just thinking about that. That's one thing I've noticed, even when it's been a while since one of my thought folk came to mind, the thought of their person or name makes me a bit happier. She also helped me shift my mind away from some rather bitter thoughts, along with Midori, so that helped, too.

 

- I was pondering on the idea of how my in-folk reflects something in me, or something I see in myself. I considered an earlier event where Sheryl and I were in front of a mirror, and only Sheryl appeared. My thoughts were closing in to the conclusion that it was because I saw myself as being what she is, until she stopped the thought stream, and appeared in perception. She insisted that I was not her, but my own person, unique to myself. While she did say she was part of me, that did not mean I was her. It is true, I have no plans of going all transgender or anything of the sort, and I feel comfortable with my masculinity. It may well have just been me taking the old /a/ joke "I want to be the little girl" far too seriously, but in this context and my tendency to think I'm wrong about things and others are right...I guess that's somewhat to be expected.

 

- When talking to the girls, despite the differences in power, seniority, and role, I often feel pretty vulnerable and low, and they seem like they're more in control and confident. Even when they're calling me "Papa" and demanding affection, they will also dole out quick bits of advice, and even on occasion say "I'll protect you". That last bit was recent and quite surprising to hear, even if I didn't completely take it seriously.

 

- I'm still working on regaining my old habits, such as spending more time away from the computer and in silence, being more directed with my activities through the day, etc. The previous year really, REALLY threw a wrench in what I had built up, and the habits from that period still remain strong. As well, I forgot some exercises that would help me to resist falling back in to patterns, and have been way too hard on myself for some things when a more compassionate approach would have done better. It's something that will take time, but I'm determined to do it.

 

- It should already be known that I actively keep contact with figures in which I noticed what I call a "spark of life". But I've been noticing recently that some figures I see will either combine with one that is already established and known (An example of which is seen in Midori, who's recent white streak of hair is from another girl I had encountered in my head, who later combined with her), or going back in to myself. It seems I have a brokenness in my psyche that's starting to come together in a more ordered fashion. Seems like a good thing to me.

 

Peace.

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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Do You Remember Love?

 

This is a reference to the movie adaptation of Super Dimension Fortress Macross. It is also the name of the plot important, war-ending song of said movie. I like that song, and can still hear it play within my mind as I type this, but this post isn't about Macross, and the context of the above line is quite different.

 

I've been subject to, and made aware of again and again of the weakness of the human mind. A good enough jostling can cause our confidence to crumble, our habits to warp, our viewpoints to change, and our beliefs to weaken. Keeping one's strength and conviction in the face of adversity is something that requires at least active effort, and sometimes even that can be defeated if one is hit in the right way. Though it took a while for me to really fess up to it, I was jostled in such a way for the past year, more of my weaknesses were revealed, my uncertainties, doubts, etc. Many things fell by the wayside, high ideas that I hoped to hold close nearly slipped through my fingers, and my patience which I had trained up to that point was put to the test. The fact that I kept my grasp on my mind is something I don't quite appreciate yet, but I have the feeling that if what happened to me suddenly happened to another, they may have had an even worse time than I did.

 

As such, this present time is what I would consider a recovery period. I'm picking myself back up, finding the pieces that fell, assessing my situation, both internal and external, and trying to find my stride again. As was stated in an earlier post, renewing more in-depth, meditative development and communing with my residents is part of that. For this, I've been relying on reminding myself of things and ideas I've come to, accumulated, and tried to etch in to myself as best I can. Stuff like beginning with doing small things consistently without heaping judgement and pressure on myself, keeping a hopeful attitude, so that I can continue in my practice, and remembering my early motivations and things I wanted to explore with the practice of thought person creation.

 

The concept of friendship was something that intrigued me early on, and by extension, love.

 

I say intrigued, because while I did have a few friends through life, I was largely detached, and was more likely to withdraw and be by myself, than to seek out my fellows. I didn't have much social contact, often spending time by myself, and due to circumstances at the time, my closest relations were painful to be around and listen to. This is not something I blame on them, as I am aware of my reliance on their kindness, and am greatful for it. But it was what it was then, and I didn't feel well with things. As for love, my mind connected it with romantic love, and while I myself have not had first hand experience with it, I can say that I've rarely seen it go well when looking at those around me, may it be family, media, etc. It appeared that while people put romance on a pedestal, all it resulted in was temporary passion, sometimes a burst of lust, and then a fizzling of the relation in the better cases. Of course, when sex was thrown in to the fray, the results would be even more dire, the worst cases involving the birth of children to parents who are not with one another. The whole business of romance seemed frightening and dangerous...but even in my isolated, affection starved state, I could see that romance was not the only form of love to be, and this played a part in how I did things during creation and continued development.

 

Midori is my friend and my daughter. The order is intentional.

 

I wanted to see a relation where two people could have care and regard for one another, without a bunch of baggage, rules, taboos, and other expectations getting in the way. I not only wanted to have someone who liked me, but I wanted to have someone whom I could like, without any worry or trouble about whatever rule or expectation getting in the way. To be freely affectionate and loving to another. You, the reader may have heard of people describing their pent up anger, depression, or whatever negative emotion.

 

I had pent up affection.

 

I had a strong desire to like someone else, to put my guard down, and be caring and loving without fear or repercussion or rejection. As bizarre as it sounds...I LIKE being nice, I like being kind, and I enjoy seeing people happy. I'm not the most wonderful and selfless person in the world, but when I compare the feeling of judging another, to the feeling of making that person happier by my presence and behavior...the latter wins out. But, due to the circumstances at the time, and my own poor behavior and errors, I could not do this, nor did I feel secure enough to seek it out with another person. It didn't help that, at the time, I largely regarded myself as unlovable to a degree, so the idea of having someone like me was pretty foreign.

 

As such, my development and exercise with Midori and later Ellenore was full of affectionate gushiness. Without a care or foresight, I let those feelings out to them, in a simple, child-like fashion. I let myself hug, coddle, gush, and be swept up by the good behavior and care they showed to me. One of my past times for a while was gushing about how much I liked my girls here, not because I wanted validation, but because I wanted to share the thing that made me happy with others. I hadn't had strong feelings like that for a long time, and sharing that happiness with others served to further increase my own, as well. As time went, from that simple relationship where we just liked each other, I began to seriously ponder love, what it did, how it functioned, among other things. I wanted to know about it, to understand it, and to understand why my girls were so willing and eager to give it to me (As said earlier, I viewed myself as unlikable then, and did so for a long time after).

 

Fast forward to now, I am reflecting on my current practice, and one of the things I notice is that I'm missing that simplicity of relation with them. Many a time, I try to treat them as I treat other people...the problem being that my current mindset drives me to set others at arms legnth, be exceedingly careful with my acts and words, being kind and charitable while still being largely detached...etc. While I still very much cared for them, I was careful not to let it over flow like I would do in the past. I would often avoid initiating affectionate exchange, for fear that I would lose my temperance, and would shock the target of my affections. When they would hug me, I ended up gaining the habit of wordlessly asking them if I could reciprocate...

 

In a phrase, I became reserved and guarded even with those inside my own being. What makes this seem even more absurd in its way is that the girl's form and behavior are the sort that is meant to induce such fawning, gushing and open affection in others. They're cute, in look and deed, and I'm responding to their open arms and declarations of love as if there's a bear trap in front of them.

 

Surprisingly, this didn't really hit me hard until yesterday night. While I was at work, I decided to start idly confiding in Ellenore. I opened myself up to her, told her what was on my mind, and really let my guard down before her. As said in a previous post, I do feel somewhat vulnerable when talking to my residents, but it had been such a while since I randomly, without much preface, started confiding in one of them that the feelings I got next caught me off guard. I felt a great weight in my heart, as if I was carrying something I wasn't aware of for months. As well, I felt my person, even my muscles at some points, become less tense. I at first described this as being "loose", but it came to mind later that a better term was "relaxed". Despite the feeling of heaviness and sadness, it felt restful just to confide in another like that, to not be careful to properly arrange my words in the best way I can, nor to carefully describe my feelings in a way where I won't be misunderstood, or offend. I was just myself for a while, and Ellen took me as that, with kindness. It was nice, and something I had lost view of over the past year.

 

After that, I felt myself relax in other things about them. I began suddenly showing signs of affection to girls that came to mind, letting myself be happy about just thinking about them, rather than letting the fear that I value their form more than their person stop me. I let myself just be soft to them, and let them return the favor, without concern about how it may look or seem. It was nice, and reminded me of what was on my mind before, that simple, no baggage, happy relation where they and I could show affection to one another with no worry.

 

I remembered love, and that love served to draw me to them more than the insistence of responsibility, or the good use of the exercise, or the continuation of their development and sentience.

 

I remembered love, so I wrote this.

 

Peace.

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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Both of us would like to say that this was infinitely beautiful. In some ways, this type of weakness represents some strength. The current model of empathy as we know it emerges from thousands of years of evolution. Without going too deep in the entire evolution of the human mind, compared to how we were in the past, as human beings I mean, we're largely developed. And that sort of empathy can form strength of mind and goodness of spirit. I used to think that it was a bit... ridiculous, to wish for such happiness for other people. Not ridiculous in the sense that it was foolish, but I regarded it as too much selflessness, which is something I deduced made you the person you currently are from the way you've been acting with people. I don't know about people posting in other people's progress reports and how much of it is supposed to go around, but I've been meaning to ask this for a pretty long while already, Cottonwell: How long have you been in this state of picking yourself up all over again, retrieving those missing parts of yourself and slowly yet steadily (hopefully so) recovering?

A wise man once said: 'Before judging a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away, and you've got new shoes.'

 

Graced are those who could avoid this phenomenon. This is perhaps the worst expression of evil in humanity's history, but who am I to judge?

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Yay for love! Your song up there was nice for reading your posts. I've got one for mine, too.

Maybe starting at 0:48 if you don't get the Touhou references or don't like Eurobeat.

 

You talked about how vulnerable humans really are, how all the stuff they've built up in their mind can still be so fragile under the wrong conditions.

 

But love is stronger than everything else, because love is never invalidated. Pride and possessions and temporary things, no matter how resilient, can't be as strong as love. And you're very right about love vs. romance, what so many call love is so many other less powerful and universal things. Lust and desire, sure. But also a feeling of being "completed", as if you weren't already whole. Love isn't two halves making a whole, it's two wholes being whole together. (Thanks to Daniel Avidan AKA Not So Grump for that analogy)

 

When you put love as your highest value, real unconditional love, then nothing is scary anymore. Nothing can really hurt you. Love doesn't get bored, love doesn't have issues with money, love doesn't get cancer. But society doesn't really know what love is, and they think it can and does. They think you need someone else to make you whole, they think you need to be accepted by someone or have someone at all to feel love. But love is a value, a state of mind, an infinitely powerful source of everything good. Love doesn't happen when two people combine their parts to be a whole, love is remembered and realized when two people remind each other that the other is whole. Love is for everyone, not just one person, it's for yourself and your family and your tulpas and your friends and the Earth and all humans.

 

Your significant other can help you feel your own love, help you remember it. And maybe they do that better than anyone else. But they're not the source of it, you are. Sometimes it's for the best two people go different ways, and when that happens there should be no sense of loss if they've taught you anything. No one is deserving or not deserving of love, it's always there, a right of every human. Your friends can help you feel love, your tulpas (and your own self) can help you feel love, your parents, your significant other(s), even strangers. There's nothing to be gained or lost, earned or deserved, given or taken. There is only realizing that you already have it, and sharing that knowing with others.

 

 

Sorry, I remember love too, so I wrote this. And much love to you guys! I hope you're happy and remember that nothing can hurt what's really important between you.

Hi guys, plain text is just me now! We've each got our own accounts: me, Tewi, Flandre, and Lucilyn. We're Luminesce's tulpas.

Here's our "Ask Thread", and here's our Progress Report (You should be able to see all of our accounts on the second page if you want)

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Thanks for the comment Iscariot. You gave me a few things to consider and think on there.

 

It was actually pretty common practice for users to reply in each others threads once upon a time, you can even see it a lot in the earlier pages of this one. Really, it seemed to be a way for the community to build one another up and help them along their way, which resulted in a closer knit community altogether. But it seems to have decreased as time went on, to the point where many don't even read progress reports that are not their own. I've actually been wanting to go through a few other people's progress reports, and giving my two cents every so often. It may be something helpful for everybody.

 

As for the question proper: The episodes finally stopped the previous month. Despite what I thought and wrote on my last update directly addressing the matter, they persisted for a few months longer. As of this writing, they've stopped, excepting only one that lasted ~3 hours tops (This is in comparison to the minimum of 3 days in times prior). Since then, I've been working on trying to re-adjust my thought and behavioral patterns, as it became clear that the prolonged nature of the episodes caused the "other's" habits to be ingrained in myself. While I do not do the more excessive acts of the other, I do often find myself falling in to idle patterns, doing things that while I consider them less important, are coded in me to do. One of the more difficult parts of changing my habits is fighting the urge to flog myself over them, and it is something I've tried my best to stay aware of and mitigate when it happens.

 

I've always taken the chance of lulls in the episodes to try and recover, taking the chance to gather myself, and clear my head a bit while I still had control. So, when the longer ones stopped, I wasted little time in trying to regain and rejuvenate my more productive and health-focused habits. I had to remind myself of ideas I was losing grasp on (As a community related one: Why I used the term "fragment", and why I felt the distinction of a work-in-progress thought person and a more complex, rounded one was important), and redirect my affections and focuses. This being reflected in my desire to return to more basic development exercise rather than the on-the-go-do-it-whenever sort of communication I did when the other was at greater stregnth, and likely to block the residents out. Despite being rather flexible with things, I feel that meditation, contemplation, and taking care to know how one's thoughts flow and where they arise from is very important. I can assure you readers that certain things happen when meditating that likely won't happen, or happen to a far weaker degree, when day dreaming and just focusing thought and word at a point in your mind (Passive forcing).

 

One thing of note about the last episode is how I felt during and after it happened. I wasn't panicing, though I kind of felt I should have been. Rather, I felt hollow. I was still there while the other did what they did, I was conscious, though not strong enough to shake them, and I also felt like there was a hole in my being, a lack of feeling and emotion about what was happening. My reaction to it was a mild sense of unsettlment. I want to say "fear", that is, fear that I wasn't reacting to such a major thing, but I'm not sure that was the right word. I guess it's something that will reveal itself as I keep working to be more emotionally honest.

 

Reisen : I'm not quite sure how to respond to all this in a satisfactory way, to properly return the effort. But, I will let you know that I very much appreciated this, and I'm glad you wrote it here. Thank you very much for that.

 

----

 

Something has come to my mind, inspired by some recent ideas about destinctions of what is and is not a "tulpa", as well as posts directly from Iscariot. I've been drawn to ponder and ruminate on what makes a "tulpa" what they are, what their stregnth is, how they are made, and how one can tell if they really have one or not. For my part, I'm quite live-and-let-live. While I do wish for folks to be serious about what they're doing, seeing as how they're messing around with they're mind and all, I'm not going to insist that they do it my way, nor am I likely to call someone out as actively fake unless they're TOO rediculous or depraved in their behavior (That line exists for me, and it is possible to cross it, it's just difficult and most folks who are active here don't come close to it). But while going on this thought path, I remembered something, a deep thing of my own experience that, when I see others mention it, convinces me without fail of their sincerity, and convinces me that they've done the leg work they've claim to do.

 

To this day, I only know of three other people who have described it, and each time I'm hit with a familiar pattern of behavior regarding it. It is, indeed a paradigm changing thing to witness, and words would do little justice to it.

 

It is a deep thing, a thing that thos who see it come to on accident as they dig deep in themselves, and in all the cases I have seen, it results in shock, confusion, and the changing of one's viewpoint on things.

 

This thing is a place, a place deep within one's mind. I describe it as a place below the imagination, a realm that, while it reflects you, is not subject to you. You cannot control it, it does not shift to your whim, it is not a "Wonderland".

 

It's not a place I would suggest people try to visit. In fact, I would insist that they don't. I never went back to it after I was taken there once upon a time, and I have no plans to return in the future. I don't reveal this as a way to show off how elite and cool I am. But having shared it, I feel driven to warn people to be careful with their exercise, and be careful about how deep in to themselves they go. Ensure you have some kind of anchor so that you don't get lost in yourself. It is possible for this to happen, and for me to say it is not would be to lie.

 

Peace.

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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You could just say "Thanks!" It was no effort for her at all. If anything you helped her be happier by giving her an excuse to gush about all that. She in fact, the love-rabbit herself, just realized that whole "People don't make two parts of a whole, they're whole together" thing. Lumi picked it up from a Game Grumps episode on Valentine's day, and she didn't realize she'd learned it until she said it herself. So you did her a favor. Saying thanks is also doing a favor!

 

 

... Anyways, with that out of the way, whoah. We did not know anything about your issues with dissociation until now, but I did some backtracking and got us caught up. You were very right in your comment on people not reading progress reports anymore, Lumi himself never read too many after their initial post but completely stopped once Cinemaphobe left. But Reisen always goes and tries to comment on all the recent ones whenever we have her switch for being-active's sake. Still, she only read this page before commenting, so that was all written without a ton of knowledge on your situation. Luckily it seems pretty universal huh? Love and all that good stuff.

 

Well, I don't really know how to give you any advice or what to say with that newfound knowledge, but Reisen might've. Even still though, you and Lumi seem a lot alike. Your histories seem the same as far as mental developmental stuff goes with the depression-auto-pilot and learning to be happy and stop falling into old patterns and all that. We haven't had any dissociation issues though. Well, it's a secret, but Lumi had issues with being attached to reality around six years ago. But not in a schizophrenia sort of way, it was voluntary, it was like to escape from being so stressed and depressed I guess. Even secreter - that was the time of old Flandre, when she represented insanity instead of emotion or humanity. And when she chose to be split into two, it was to filter the love from the insanity, and Scarlet was the insanity part. But she's not so bad anymore and represents strong emotions. Well, that was irrelevant I think, but I wanted to share something with you of a similar nature since you indirectly shared with us. That was all actually kinda stuff they never talk about so you're like, in an exclusive club now. Also I'm writing without a paragraph break here so people only see this if they care enough to read big walls of text. Anyways, good luck with your stuffs! Love is good, and it can help a lot when you're feeling like you don't have the motivation to stay in conscious control anymore. Reisen's love is what helped Lumi out of his depression-auto-pilot, I'm sure your tuppers can help like his did.

 

I wanna help too, but I'm kind of just like a mascot now. The others say I'm inspiring just by being me. But Tewi is the one helping him with motivation now which was my job, because they're more similar and I'm too good at being motivated so Lumi can't really relate to me well. Well! Now you've got one of my secrets too. We're secret buddies.

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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To this day, I only know of three other people who have described it, and each time I'm hit with a familiar pattern of behavior regarding it. It is, indeed a paradigm changing thing to witness, and words would do little justice to it.

 

It is a deep thing, a thing that thos who see it come to on accident as they dig deep in themselves, and in all the cases I have seen, it results in shock, confusion, and the changing of one's viewpoint on things.

 

This thing is a place, a place deep within one's mind. I describe it as a place below the imagination, a realm that, while it reflects you, is not subject to you. You cannot control it, it does not shift to your whim, it is not a "Wonderland".

 

It's not a place I would suggest people try to visit. In fact, I would insist that they don't. I never went back to it after I was taken there once upon a time, and I have no plans to return in the future.

 

Amen. You're wise, Sock. Keep that up.

A wise man once said: 'Before judging a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away, and you've got new shoes.'

 

Graced are those who could avoid this phenomenon. This is perhaps the worst expression of evil in humanity's history, but who am I to judge?

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[align=center]Random Song that Sock likes:

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Dirty

 

Today, I could not help but notice how Midori and some others regarded the irc as I was using it. I was using my mobile client, so Midori would at times grab my phone (In the sense that she'd grab it in my mind's eye, not physically), look at it for a moment, and recoil from it, tossing it away and calling it "dirty".

 

I found this odd at the time. She hadn't been on irc for a long time, excepting one time when she was speaking with a penpal she was still very fond of. It's not like it's the entirety of the irc, either, some channel's she won't react the way she did above. But for others, she calls them "dirty", and expresses annoyance that I'm on there.

 

I decided to ask her why she said that. She told me that it wasn't one thing, but a whole set of smaller issues, all related to what she observed from me. A host of negative feelings, events, lingering frustrations, and other things that summed up in to one mass, which she referred to as "dirty".

 

I'm still a regular of the chatroom, though I find myself on the forums a bit more recently. From my view, things seem to have calmed down, and even improved in some ways. I don't find myself getting annoyed as soon as I log in, and have a slightly more pleasant time there. Still, I guess there's still some sore feeling deep in there floating around, though I feel they're fading as time continues. I don't like holding on to stuff like that, it just causes hurt.

 

I know Midori really hates it when I get angry or frustrated, so I guess I can say it's because the irc HAS gotten me bent out of shape that she's not a fan of me being there, or seems to have any plans to start going again (Save for meeting two people she's very fond of). That, and the age old problem of the internet eating time and attention that can be going to her, heh.

 

It reminds me of when Midori actually was online a lot, early on in her life. She wasn't treated poorly at all, in fact, she was held in high regard by many who met her. I remember Pleeb saying that she was the second cutest thought person in the community (The first being his own for obvious reasons). She made friends easily, and seemed to produce smiles wherever she went. Even now, when she does get on and speaks to someone, the other person seems actively happier for speaking to her, or at least more willing to behave in a happy sort of way. Considering that, her change of opinion seems off in ways, but he reasons are her own.

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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Self Deception vs. Gathering

 

I've observed in the community that the creation of a resident is often said to be a form of self-deception, and that by deceit of the mind the creation is formed. I'm growing to disagree with this idea.

 

Rather, the idea that came to me was that there is a point, may it be a form or an idea, that acts as a vessel for a mixture of thought, emotion, memory, impression, expectations, and other, less tangible things that collectively I will call an essence of self. So, rather than the process of development being me repeatedly lying to myself until it comes true, it is a process of filling this point, this vessel, with the essence of myself. This comes in the form of regular acknowledgement with narration, memorization to keep the point and what I've put in to it from fading in to the back of the mind, and finally activating the mixture by way of interacting with them, asking them questions, sharing memories, and giving them room and freedom to act.

 

So, part of my assumptions on the practice is that an imagined figure is not a lie or falsehood. Rather, the figure is what it is: an imagined figure. You can't have a fake image of a ball in your head, it is what it is. I don't regard a voice I hear in my head as a lie, rather I regard it as a voice in my head, because that's what it is. Instead of the challenge being whether it is real or not, it is to find the source of where that voice came from: Is it sourced from my expectations? Does it come from some deep, yet unidentified part of myself? Does it comes from, say, Ellenore? Or for a more complicated situation: Does the voice seem to come from me, but when I look a bit deeper I sense Ellenore's essence/feeling in it?

 

In short, I reject the premise of self deception in tulpa creation. While I cannot give unrefutable proof, the above logic is how I think of things on the subject.

 

Also, some stuff I found useful for developing mental capability:

The Power of Concentration (Audiobook)

Your mind and how to use it (Audiobook)

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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[align=center]Random song Sock likes:

[video=youtube]

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A while back, on tulpa.io, I got Liira her own sub-account, as she wanted to have some foot in things outside. Unfortunately for her, this was during my trouble with dissociation, and she could not post much of anything because I was barely in control of myself.

 

Well, that's been over, and I've been working on steering myself back to regular development practices and such, including spending time in quiet, visualizing, etc. It so happened that Liira can to me, and we conversed a little. She told me that since I came down back in to her side, she can come back over to mine, and asked me to write a post for her. It is listed below:

 

It's been a while, hasn't it? Hehe I've been gone for so long that I guess people forgot I existed, hehe! Well, I'm not dead, I was just burried under...that THING that Cottonwell was talkin' to you about, yep! But I waited, I knew he couldn't stay away from us forever, an' lookin' at some of these impression I get from him, he hasn't! Cuz he's a good papa!

 

It hurt, a lot to be buried like that. I know Papa was pretty misereble, but for us...it was like chaos. Things weren't stable, sometimes we'd fade in and out, but Papa always remembered, Papa never forgot, so we'd always come back. But, just from our view point, it really sucked.

 

I wonder sometimes, what it's like to stay that solid. I know Socky won't give us the body, 'specially not after that...thing. But really, I don't mind any more. I may have limits, but I know I'll always have a good, big friend by my side, yep!

 

That's it, bye-bye~!

 

I had a theory that having my residents write in long form would be a better way to exercise their thinking and viewpoint 'muscles', rather than putting them on the fast paced IRC. It's nice to be able to actually test that idea out.

 

Peace.

Sock Cottonwell's

Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread.

Peace

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