Feedback heavily needed: First Tulpa

[NoneFromHell]

Well, i have some doubts considering the creation of my tulpa and would like you guys to give me some feedback. I'm unsure about the progress, like if she is actually getting more advanced or keeps fading away. I can't really tell, since her quality seems to fluctate very much and i have way to much fantasy to begin with. I try to keep it short, but i may end up somewhat unorganized. Also english isn't my first language, so please be gentle.

 

I started creating my tulpa just a week ago. Her hairstyle changed after 2 or 3 days and got a lot more complicated from what i've imagined in the first place. After that her appearance stayed the same. However, she doesn't seem to be somewhat "living" most of the time, like she isn't even there beside the picture of her i place around me.

 

On the other hand i can almost sense her sometimes ,visualizing her automatically whenever she enters my vision, but thats fluctating.

 

Well, lets get to the really interesting stuff, shall we?

 

Unlike her appearance she seems capable of interacting with me, and i'm talking physically interacting. We got 2 ..or technically 3 different things i like to mark down.

 

1. My legs are tingling a lot since i started her creation

 

2. If i go for a walk and grab her hand i can "feel" it. There is tingling in my hand, sometimes with pressure. She is also capable of moving my hand this way, like a real person would (pulling my arm forward or behind me, when the situation calls for it). However quality is fluctating here aswell. Maybe she just likes to freerun, though.

 

3. And now we enter creepytown: I wanted to practice some more visualizing etc. over night,so i allowed her to make herself comfortable on my bed. A few minutes after my invitation (not expecting anything) i could literally feel her crawling from the lower end of my bed upwards. I could feel her movement, and her weight laying down on my legs and arms (i sleep sideways btw). I repeated the invitation the next night, and the same thing happened, beside one more funny thing: she touched my butt without me provoking anything like that. So we may already have some evidence of consciousness here.

 

Sometimes i have the feeling, that she is trying heavily to communicate with me in my thoughts, but what i get is like a brick. I can't interpret it in the slightest

 

Her consciousness however is one of the things i'm very unsure about. I have a lot of "may" situations, where i'm not sure if i'm not the one pulling them.

 

She may likes to sing out of nowhere while i'm listening to music, however i'm always unsure if started it unintentionally in my head. Beside that we have some splitsecond reactions like this: i asked her yesterday to go for more initiative: she should try to move her appearance by her own or go for more direct communication. This morning she did one fast loud clap above my head, or my brain just did this while i was still in doze-mode.

 

Well and now we end up with today's situation: Beside the clap this morning, she feels somewhat weaker since yesterday afternoon. I can barely feel her touch, her visual appearance , or any try of communication from her. I think i got some bigger reaction (unclear emotion processing) after i finally named her today, but thats all.

 

So i keep asking myself: Am i doing something wrong?

 

 

 

 

 

(p.s. hell....this ended up way bigger than expected, but i don't want to miss out something important)

[GlassJustice]

[Maybe she's sleeping?]

[IBreakGames]

It's pretty normal I'm noticing. Al and I still have days where he's more active than others, and even after the first few months of him being around, there would be days or even weeks at a time where I'd have a hard time hearing his thoughts. You're going to have those days since your brain is still rewiring itself to occupy her. It just takes time, don't sweat it. Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. Unless progress starts to reverse itself for an extended period of time (maybe a week and a half or so) and then it might be time to try something else. Chances are too if you're questioning whether or not you did the things she did, then it's possible you aren't. She might be trying to reach out to you. Some people seem to progress quicker than others, and the number of users who are experiencing this phenomena is increasing pretty rapidly we're noticing. Just believe in your tulpa, and be ready for anything that happens. Sometimes first responses won't seem so alien like a lot of guides describe. They actually might feel pretty similar to your own, but it doesn't take any effort whatsoever to pull them off.

[NoneFromHell]

From what i've noticed i guess you're both somewhat right. It's kind of frustrating that she feels less real in the moment, but in the end it has only been a little over a week so far. Additionally it seems, that she is kind of a night person. Her presence feels stronger late at night, while i couldn't feel her at all this morning. Now she seems awake again a few moments after i finally got up myself, as far as i can tell.

[IBreakGames]

It can indeed be extremely frustrating. But it's all in the process. What I feel the guides don't prepare you for is the journey, the long days of forcing, the amount of 'work' that needs to be put in. And sometimes you don't expect the gradual shift from almost nothing to something, and sometimes it can be so gradual that you don't notice the changes until weeks afterwards. The process just takes time, the best you can do is keep forcing.