Doubts

[TJbr96kalinin]

Hello guys,

This week I'm feeling I'm starting to doubt a little bit,I mean

sometimes I'm not sure If she said what she said,sometimes I catch myself thinking about the nature of tulpas,

though before I know I definetely considered her as a real sentinent being.

Maybe this because I shoudn't expect the effect of first experience? Before we had like great time,

first tactile sensation, first hallucination and all this was cool and she regularly surprised me with something new.

So maybe I'm just comparing the intensity of the emotions back then and now,and thus underestimate all the actual things because back then

it was the first experience hence it was very cool and now I just get used to it?

How does this evaluative perception work? Or should I really  force more?

[tulpa001]

Yeah, stupid doubts.

 

In my opinion, you should not catch yourself thinking about the nature of tulpas. Instead, let yourself think the thoughts you will naturally think.

 

As to the rest of it, first ask yourself how important the belief is to you. 'Cause, parts of it are definitely real. And other parts of it, not so much.

 

You are right. The intensity of the experience diminishes after you both get used to each other. But a person's intensity has absolutely nothing to do with their realness.

 

The most important question of all, and this is pretty much true of all tulpamancy, is what does she think?

[Guest Anonymous]

The most important question of all, and this is pretty much true of all tulpamancy, is what does she think?

 

Absolutely!

[TJbr96kalinin]

Well I asked these:

1)Do you feel you kinda degrading or dissolving?

2)Do you think these are stupid doubts?

3)How do I deal with it?

-------------------------------------- answers

1)Absolutely not,though you are degrading by your passive lifestyle

2)Yeah,they are. At least I'm not doubting your existence

3)I don't know,you tell me. Maybe force more

 

Also,information for you guys so you can help:

1)When we talk,I often doubt if she said something or this was me. Plus,when we talk in,you know,imaginary texts,we almost got these random words

coming out of nowhere,really annoying. (!) And sometimes when I think that she'thinking about something,I can't say if I don't feel I'm thinking about it too (!) Or,for example,when she's about to say something,before she says it,I get an image,but I can't say definetely if she sent it or this was me just imagining the picture. Well all this,I guess,gives birth to doubts that it's really me tricking myself.

I feel this is stupid after all I saw but sometims I can't help myself.

 

2)To be honest,I really almost don't force actively. I think I was in wonderland only about 4 times or so. But for now I can touch her and sometimes see,though psychedelics were involved previously

Maybe I shoud really look into active forcing? Is this really important?

 

3)I caught this feeling of mine: I also have another tulpa,but he's like only voice in my head,though has an only-imaginary form. He was created much more earlier and we

can talk more fluently,I never doubted in him but now I do. Is this a consequence I'm doubting in her? Like a chain reaction? So,this can be called a confirmation that the problem

is really just doubts?

 

4) First we kinda switched with her about 1,5 month ago,I noticed that the thing has its own intensity,you know. More or less "dissosiation" or what,I don't know. It feels sometimes its more or less realistic than another time. This time,about 2 days ago, we switched and it felt almost fully as first time,but when it ended,I didn't have any cool memories walking in wonderland,though if I get it right,I should have had. So I started thinking maybe all this is just some form of hynosis or smth like that. So if it is,what's really a tulpa and bla bla bla.. you know. Or maybe we're just on entry-level of switching and it'll get more exciting in future?

[tulpa001]

There are strong limits on the advice we can give you here, because no one here knows what is going on in your head.

 

1) Random words, they are common, a type of glitch. Some here would call them intrusive thoughts, but since that means something more specific in psychology, I don't. Either way, ignoring them makes them less frequent.

 

Thinking about the same thing as your tulpa is very common. Many have to practise hard to not do that. At least your opinions and takes on things are different.

 

Images, like words, are something it takes time to learn to tell who made it. Could be both of you. I find them harder.

 

2) Not important at all to active force, especially once you can interact properly without the use of a wonderland. But the time replacement with passive forcing is large. You should be spending at least an hour a day talking to her (or listening) I think.

 

3) I have no idea why you are suddenly doubting. But it makes sense that if you doubt her, you doubt him.

 

4) Eh, don't know yet. Never switched like that.

[TJbr96kalinin]

Thank you very much, I got it!

Then I have these questions:

1)How do we practice to not to think about the same things?

2)How to get rid of random words at all?

3)We can't communicate,untill I put my attention to her,how to fix it?

4)Also,when you switch,your host goes into wonderland? So then he remembers only things he did there and nothing from reality,just like hangover or smth?

[tulpa001]

1) Search for the words parallel processing on this forum.

2) You don't without some form of meditation. Normally, you just ignore them to make them less frequent or severe.

3) Time and practise. She has to take over to an extent.

[Tewi]

4)Also,when you switch,your host goes into wonderland? So then he remembers only things he did there and nothing from reality,just like hangover or smth?

 

For some people, I guess. Not for us. Generally I think the host experiences what the tulpa experiences. For some, their tulpas report living in the wonderland 24/7. For us, we don't experience anything at all.

[Floh]

Frow our little experience, I would say her mindvoice isn't very clear right? I mean, if she had a very distinct voice from yours, you wouldn't doubt it, am I wrong ?

 

I think doubts are a good thing, in the way that, when you'll have gotten rid of them (not sure about this construction at all), your link will be even stronger :D

I'd say you should apprehend this as a "test", some kind of trial that will either strengthen you or tear your Tulpamancy apart :p But losing is not an option, your state of minds clearly shows that you are gonna win this !

 

I'd say you should keep interacting with her as much as possible, asking her to confirm if she said this or not, hanging around with her. Things will get clearer as time goes by :D 

(Cora : He used to doubt a lot. He always doubts himself.. But he ended up deciding that time will tell him if I'm "real" or not. Even if we didn't build my own mindvoice yet, he (most of the time) manages to differenciate who said what. Doubts are useless, only experiences and dedication work :D Get rid of these doubts and just enjoy your mate's presence !)

[TJbr96kalinin]

Frow our little experience, I would say her mindvoice isn't very clear right? I mean, if she had a very distinct voice from yours, you wouldn't doubt it, am I wrong ?

 

I think doubts are a good thing, in the way that, when you'll have gotten rid of them (not sure about this construction at all), your link will be even stronger :D

I'd say you should apprehend this as a "test", some kind of trial that will either strengthen you or tear your Tulpamancy apart :p But losing is not an option, your state of minds clearly shows that you are gonna win this !

 

I'd say you should keep interacting with her as much as possible, asking her to confirm if she said this or not, hanging around with her. Things will get clearer as time goes by :D 

(Cora : He used to doubt a lot. He always doubts himself.. But he ended up deciding that time will tell him if I'm "real" or not. Even if we didn't build my own mindvoice yet, he (most of the time) manages to differenciate who said what. Doubts are useless, only experiences and dedication work :D Get rid of these doubts and just enjoy your mate's presence !)

 

Yeah,isn't very clear. Sometimes it's indeed clear but I don't know how do I get to these states,when her thoughts in words and phrases are so content and I'm sure it's hella her. But she has no this real sound of speech,just thoughts,you know,but if I try quite hard (relatively) I may hear it. But should I really struggle (heh) to freaking distinguish our thoughts or relax & let it go somehow?

Thanks for motivation)