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Making a Tulpa for science.


Doctorfoxwolf

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Congrats! Welcome to the party.

Time to print you out a club badge.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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There is so much data~

So much does not mattah~

. . .

It rhymes in my accent.

 

We've been slowly getting more and more communication. It takes a lot of effort on Meti's part, but she's like me in that she doesn't know when to stop exercising. Don't stop till ya drop.

I'm proud of her.

Still, a lot of messages never make it. According to Meti, only about 3.7% of mental messages make it across, including ones that don't make it the whole way and are misheard somewhat and not including binary yes/no.

And yes, we narrowed it down to a tenth of a percent. Not like we have anything better to do.

She's grown very mischievous, often screwing with me whenever she can.

Can't really blame her, there's not really much to do up in my head if you aren't the one calling the shots.

Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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I'm making two posts in the same day what is wrong with me?

 

So I'm going to talk about a guy. His name is CT.

I've talked about him, often as "The asshole in the back of my head".

I was recently able to interact with him in a non-hostile way. This was apparently by having Meti relay his yes/no answers to me, since the only thing we have in common is our protectiveness of Meti.

The following is a summary of CT. His personality, his age, his feelings towards me, all that fun stuff. Keep in mind that this is what he has said, and he's not exactly the most truthful person I know.

He is almost as old as I am, having come into being as a half-formed entity when I was a few years old.

He hates me. I mean he hates me. While that wouldn't normally be something special because he hates literally everyone except Meti, he has a special place in his murderous fantasies for me.

He doesn't believe I'm the original personality. He doesn't think he is either. He thinks that whatever original personality there was got shattered by something early on in life, and I just happened to be the biggest shard that managed to duct tape some of the smaller ones to itself for the sake of functionality. The rest just drift around and do random shit.

The most worrying part is that his explanation makes more sense than any other that I've thought of by miles. The pieces all but fall together under that train of thought.

He doesn't think Meti is one of those shards, but a newcomer that was lopped off of my own shard. Still makes more sense than any other explanation.

He still really, really hates me, even though he doesn't know why. Edgy bastard.

Seriously, the things he wants to do to me make Fallout Equestria seem like sunshine and rainbows.

Following the previous thing, it would make sense if a larger mind shattered. If he's the amalgamation of all the anger and hate the previous one has, that would explain his otherwise inexplicable SCP-682 levels of hatred towards all life, and my incapacity to feel any sort of anger or hatred.

 

Honestly, in my opinion, this is all very odd and teen adventure novel-y. Seems too overdramatic and cliché to me.

 

Have a happy entrails-ripping.

Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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Fascinating. Your system certainly gets into the dark emotions a lot. This speaks of some possible childhood trauma. There are people out there that are always angry, just naturally. But pure rage is incredibly uncommon.

 

I don't believe that anything is naturally evil. Consequently, I believe if you get to the root cause of CT's emotional issues, he will lose his hate. Although, he will probably always be edgy.

 

On the other hand, the usual advice when it comes to these darkling voices, is to ignore them out of existence. These things are always pieces of you. They split off for a reason. Maybe your mind rejected their negative energy. Perhaps the right thing to do is finish the job. Self improvement. It is a little scary. Do whatever feels safest to you.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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If I was able to ignore him out of existence then it would have happened already.

He's been around for as long as I can remember, but because my memory is bad, that means since I was about seven at least.

Besides, I'd rather not do that. I mean, he's a douche but he technically hasn't hurt anybody. Honestly, it'd feel weird to not constantly have that feeling of opposition and confliction.

And if his theory is correct, removing anger and hatred can only be a bad idea in the long run.

Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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if by "removing anger and hatred" you mean suppressing it or pretending you aren't feeling it, sure. 'Cus that's just lying to yourself. An absence of anger and hatred is great though! Coming to peace with the happenings in your life and accepting things as they are is way better, in my opinion. Not complacency, you can still want to change things, but you don't take things being not how you want them so seriously. When something isn't how you want it, you either figure out what you can do to change it, or accept it. No anger necessary because you can do both without it.

 

But it's a mindset, not specific events. Living in an easy-to-live-in situation where nothing bothers you isn't the same. We could for example live somewhere relatively sucky and still be happy. Our family bought a dog despite a) not being in a great place financially and b) not asking us, which has caused a lot of unwanted work for us and also made it a lot harder to sleep at certain times. No one's awake/home to keep it company right now, and even though I wanted to go play games I just spent an hour with it so it could be out of its (big) cage. It's too cold to put it outside (haven't built a nice doghouse yet) and it's not fair to keep a puppy alone so long (peeps at school and work during the early day).

 

But hey, I decided it was what I wanted to do, so I did it, and our cat threw up, and we're literally allergic to dogs so it started bothering my nose at some point too. But I didn't get upset. If I really wanted the situation different, I would've kept it in its cage and gone downstairs. So even though it wasn't the ideal scenario for me, because I chose to do it, I accepted the things I didn't like and didn't get upset about them. And it feels way better to do this, trust me! You don't gotta be happy about it, but you also don't gotta be upset/annoyed/angry about it.

 

Unless you want to. Or think you can't not be. That's up to you.

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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But it's a mindset, not specific events. Living in an easy-to-live-in situation where nothing bothers you isn't the same.

 

Well, that's me as of current.

One of my cats died last week.

Guess how many fucks I gave?

As much as I tried, I couldn't get myself to shed any tears.

It is my belief that anger is useful.

Anger motivates people to get up and change the world, because they see it as imperfect.

Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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Well, that's me as of current.

One of my cats died last week.

Guess how many fucks I gave?

As much as I tried, I couldn't get myself to shed any tears.

It is my belief that anger is useful.

Anger motivates people to get up and change the world, because they see it as imperfect.

 

How in the hell do you have time to do/write all of this? Some of the people on this website are lucky. They have ample time to invest in tulpamancy while I'm constantly busy with work. Good luck with everything I guess.

I'm a very new tulpamancer that has had experience with forums. 

My tulpas name is Frey... not too sure about much else.

 

 

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How in the hell do you have time to do/write all of this? Some of the people on this website are lucky. They have ample time to invest in tulpamancy while I'm constantly busy with work. Good luck with everything I guess.

 

Maybe it's just because I'm a bit of a normie. Would you say that having schizo makes it easier to properly tulpamance?

I'm a very new tulpamancer that has had experience with forums. 

My tulpas name is Frey... not too sure about much else.

 

 

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How in the hell do you have time to do/write all of this?

 

welcome to the internet http://services.runescape.com/m=hiscore_oldschool/overall.ws

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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