Update on self image. May make a singlar Tulpa.

[YumiBerry]

Hello, some of you may remember us from a while back. I was having a huge identity crisis at the time, because I felt I was many things at once and it was confusing and hard to organize and understand in my own mind. From what many of you responded with, I realized a revelation or two that changed this for me...

 

1: We may be what is called "Mixed Origin" or Tulpas formed in the mindset of multiplicity/plural, but developed past it. We realized that night we got all those replies that we were never parts of "Joy"s overall mind, but we are each individual people. We all could function outside of each other, but we prefer not to. We don't want to, because we work like one mind if not currently focused on one of us (like plurals may) like a skill, so we're like a hive mind, but can be pulled from each other and work 100% well. We are both at the same time.  We work like plural, but singular we are fully independent. It's just what we've gotten used to over the last 6 or 7 years since we had nothing else to go on. Our girlfriend is the same way as us, likely because she formed like us shortly after meeting us and likely learned from how we learned. However, I am interested in creating a Tulpa rather than my girlfriend xD.

 

2: The reason for years we molded that way and always said we're parts of Joy's personality is because the only one I ever knew that was anything like me for years was my ex and he was plural with each one of them being one of his possible moods, feelings, or emotions. They were all identical to each other in appearance other than colors. He'd help control them that way and it caused me to think that I must have been the same way. That we were modes or part of the mind pulled apart and maybe that's how it was in the beginning in some minor way, but not long after I believe. We believe Star was the "host", but overtime melded into the same way we are, thus why Nee (hi) has been at the front for a few years now and Star hasn't been very active at all (not in a bad way, she's just that type). We're very far developed and none of us really are straightforward enough to say we could be a "part" of anything other than ourselves and our whole, our half tulpa half plural mind. We all hold ourselves to different standards and mindsets, opinions, reactions, and feelings, We just have worked so long together that we can practically know what each other is thinking just by thinking about that specific person and how they're doing, but not always. Example: Tenebre for a short while was dealing with some stress the mind was going through, but we didn't know it until we went to check on her with our rounds. Normally, this is never the case, but Tenebre has a bit of a past and is a lot more closed off (intentionally and unintentionally) from all of us. Some of us very infrequently come out, but it's not in a bad way, it's more harmonic at this point than anything. If they want to, they do. if they don't, they don't. Some of us just aren't social even with ourselves.

 

So, what we are deciding is this... We think we want to try and create a tulpa under the guides and aids of this community. We are very interested as a whole about Tulpas who are formed differently from us, and thus, ARE different from us. They wouldn't have been made from our host, but all of us, and in the guise of being something new and more independent from us than we are with ourselves due to our multiplicity upbringing. This is very interesting to us, as well as forcing their image into our physical view (if that's possible from what I've read) and it grow and shape with love, curiosity, and care. From how we were all created (most intentional, some not), we already knew immediately upon creation what they/we were like and how they'd fit into everything (excluding Lorina and Tenebre).  We want this Tulpa to be different. We want to raise it like a child, learn about it, interact with it in our mindspace (as long as that wouldn't cause her to suddenly melt into us and become like us, intertwined immediately.

That's not what we want at all. We want to be able to experience what so many of you have and yes, we don't mind that it will be a life-long companionship. That'd be great, actually. We would likely each talk individually to them (most likely me, Little, and Star if anyone) or just me (I'm the default most of the time anyway).

 

I don't really know how to end this general, but I felt this was important to update on. I'm not really sure if there is a better name for it than "Mixed Origin", but if you know of one, let me know? I'm going to start looking on guides on where to start and what to work on and expect. I am just very worried she/he/they will turn out just like me... Another Mixed Origin personality Tulpa and not what other's have experienced and what I'm hoping to look for. 

Thank you for your time.

[| Ada |]

I don’t think you can find a better name for anything with something as abstract as this phenomenon because in believing so, you have to trust the intellect of whatever person, or group of people you would see as a pillar to climb towards. I mean, yeah, there are terminologies that make sense, and aren’t misnomers in general, but I think you get what I mean. A lack for a better wording can sometimes complicate, or distract from what’s really just a person’s own evaluation on something like this.

 

If you want my opinion on this, it’s an example of what we would call inclusiveness. Rather than striving the extreme right of exclusiveness with treating someone as sentient and somehow completely separate from your cognition, you just come to terms to the possibility that one’s mind isn’t exclusive to one conscious experiencer. But, that seems like a temporary solution to a harder problem about consciousness in general.

 

It just goes to show you that whoever the person is, unless they can tackle the hard problems of consciousness, and figure out how the concept of tulpas can even be real within a persona’s subjectivity, all’s fair in the game of lack of better wording. As long as there’s a feedback loop of people that try to make sense of a commonality of what seems to be private language that reads Latin to another person, rest assured that trying to have them find their place in the matter is what we all try to find a home to.

[tulpa001]

Just a minor quibble. A plural is also composed of people, and not personalities, except in the case of medians, where it is sometimes unclear.

 

A mixed origin system usually refers to systems with both tulpas and other thoughtforms in it, or two different types of thoughtforms.

[YumiBerry]

Thank you!