Jump to content

Unicorn Cavalry's Journey | Season 2 currently airing!


Xarbern

Recommended Posts

Guest LanceReilyn

I've said a few personal things about myself that in hindsight were probably way too open and cringe-worthy, but hey, whatever. I'm sure it's some kind of therapy for someone.

 

On guided meditations, here's an interesting thought: try and have your tulpa guide you into it. There's obvious benefit to quiet and peaceful meditation with an empty mind and if that's all you do then fine. But.. Maybe turning it into a 2-for-1 forcing session will work for you. One reason I theorize I have such poor success using guided meditation/hypnosis tools is because I don't trust nor have any kind of personal connection to the voice.. It's like.. who the heck are you to tell me to relax, Mr/Mrs 'sounds high on drugs'? I trust my tulpa though so I'm more liable to let my guard down. Add in some visualization like trying to see them in front of you, meditating with you and calmly leading.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 124
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

I've said a few personal things about myself that in hindsight were probably way too open and cringe-worthy, but hey, whatever. I'm sure it's some kind of therapy for someone.

 

On guided meditations, here's an interesting thought: try and have your tulpa guide you into it. There's obvious benefit to quiet and peaceful meditation with an empty mind and if that's all you do then fine. But.. Maybe turning it into a 2-for-1 forcing session will work for you. One reason I theorize I have such poor success using guided meditation/hypnosis tools is because I don't trust nor have any kind of personal connection to the voice.. It's like.. who the heck are you to tell me to relax, Mr/Mrs 'sounds high on drugs'? I trust my tulpa though so I'm more liable to let my guard down. Add in some visualization like trying to see them in front of you, meditating with you and calmly leading.

 

I had some some luck today when I was alone home. I didn't feel like I had to be on my guard so it's probably just that, my mom have a habit to just randomly enter my room and it scares the s* out of me when she does. She won't stop no matter how much I tell her and she agrees. I'll try the thing with Matsuri leading next time I'm more relaxed.

 

So I have been thinking about getting a bike and go out with Matsuri sometime. Can't wait till I'm done with studies and can get a full-time job then live for ourselves.

 

And yes, writing is pretty therapeutic. Ranting with voice don't do the job for me, writing thoughts down does wonders.

Hello. I'm Xar, and I'm the original host of this system.

I share this head with Matsuri and Kurisutina

 

Progress Report | Vibe with our system 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today is 9th day in.

 

I got over the awkwardness of parroting and now it's much more easier to talk and focus on her. Matsuri seems to be vocal at some points because she can randomly say something that makes me very self aware like today for example. I was listening to some hardbass music with her just to get in a relaxed mood (I know, I'm weird) and she suddenly commented about a habit I never thought of before. She said, in swedish obviously "why you do that with the chair?" I basically have a habit to lay in my bed and move my chair around with my feet. Never thought about it before so I was a bit surprised for myself. I had honestly nothing to say, really.

 

She has been bugging me to watch anime with her but I fell asleep after we listened to hardbass music (it really makes me go deep into meditation sometimes till I manage to lose to sleep.) I'll watch some with her later tonight. Honestly thought she'd be more into live documentaries or biography (sorry Matsuri for having to deal with the boring me) but seems like she picked up my old taste. Not gonna lie, I still like anime but I haven't watched much lately because todays animes are cluttered with sheiße. [insert Rant Here]

 

She have been changing forms today but haven't settled for any new ones, it seems. She liked a character who had a pretty simple look which she used sometimes today. Maybe to make it easier for me to focus on her?

 

She actually gave me a pretty good long kiss which makes me question my sexuality, my mental state and a bit thinking if it was me puppeting because I would feel really bad if it was. I conclude it as a sense test for now, pretty good for someone who doesn't exist outside my body. Then again did I puppet her? I asked her but she says no. Doesn't matter because she'd say no even if I did because she's so understanding.

 

Now we're of to play video games! (jk, we're watching anime, she didn't even get upset for some reason)

 

P. S.

Saying this because I realized this thread have gotten a shackbazillion of views (about 1k) and I just want to give attention to one thing I've seen on reddit a lot.

 

Weaboos reading who are interested shouldn't start tulpamancy solely on having a anime waifu/husbando. They're not that simple, really. They often have no problem being your lover because you're basically the only one they have (not meant for encouragement) and you'd have to be ready to take responsibility for her/him for probably the rest of your life. I'd encourage it if you can accept the fact that tulpas are people and not your body pillow. Think about it, take your time. Anyway you do you beyond that, I suppose.

 

Kudos for everything this community has done! Really appreciate reading others reflections and PRs.

Hello. I'm Xar, and I'm the original host of this system.

I share this head with Matsuri and Kurisutina

 

Progress Report | Vibe with our system 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh. I learned how to spell a word i already knew how to say in German today. Never would have found it.

 

Misha kissed me, i think they all have at least once by now, it doesn't have to be romantic/gender. I routinely kiss them on the cheek, but let's just say Misha likes to 'surprise me' sometimes. The term i like to use for decribing a relationship with a tulpa sometimes is 'platonic love'.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Angry Bear

That's a good term to describe tulpa relationship. I think it's the second or third time she kissed me now? This was just more surprising because it felt more, well, realistic? It was nice and all, just had to refresh my mindset a bit afterwards because I got a bit anxious partly because of reddit, more than half of the discussions there is people criticizing each other when it comes to tulpa relationships. I probably thought too much about it so I was almost afraid that she would kiss me. That lead me to believe that the other, maybe two times, was accidental puppeting but that was probably just me trying to lie to myself. There's is no such thing as accidental puppeting as I heard. She kissed me once during the Momo walk-in crisis and another time when that incident was over.

 

I should get a good secretary of defense incase there's another walk-in threat. Agent Smith? No I don't think it's needed, maybe could be some helpful metaphors for some mindscape stuff? Worth a try sometime.

Hello. I'm Xar, and I'm the original host of this system.

I share this head with Matsuri and Kurisutina

 

Progress Report | Vibe with our system 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Reilyn-Alley

Hehe, body pillow. For some reason, when I read some of that I heard there are people who preach "never assume your tulpas consent, assume you are parroting it and raping them". What a crock of poo. To assume we don't have wants and desires of our own is to assume we aren't people. Anyway, maybe you just need to have a conversation about boundaries in your relationship and stuff? Maybe she is trying to help you discover something new about yourself? Maybe she will respond to your aversion by poofing herself into some cute guy for kissie time. XD

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Reilyn, the last part wouldn't surprise me actually. She already tried to be Robert McNamara today which was hilarious and odd. 10 points for humor! Wouldn't really want to wake up with the sight of an old man giving me a kiss but... I don't see any reason for boundaries yet, nothing bad has really happened. I can take the weird jokes too, even if I would wake up with McNamara giving me kissie time (not a request by any means, of course)

 

I have a bad feeling about this, should watch out for what I'm writing. Matsuri may get ideas. Not sure if she's sleeping, I can't feel her presence but she'll find out anyway.

Hello. I'm Xar, and I'm the original host of this system.

I share this head with Matsuri and Kurisutina

 

Progress Report | Vibe with our system 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Our rules of conduct:

 

1.  Free will intact (I was afraid they'd dominate me, lol)

2.  Fair negotiations (we use a loose debate system and sometimes have court-style trials)

3.  Equals

4.  Power comes from mutual care and respect. (I feel their emotions very strongly.)

5.  Consensus

6.  No one else, just us 4. (NO NEW TULPAS!)

7.  We shall never ignore each other. (I was worried that one of them might become angry or despondent enough to go hide somewhere. Never even came close. Basically if anyone wanted to leave they'd have to tell at least one other even under secrecy i.e. I can't hear their thoughts, so one could keep a secret, and they do.)

 

We formed these rules on day 2 or 3 and have set them in stone requiring full consensus to change them.  Considering we're 6 months in and they haven't budged, I'd say they're pretty set.

 

Number 6 applies to you mostly: we have had many occasions of walk-in NPC's and characters who wanted to stay, some of who are so insistent that it's funny. There's a particular green dragon character of mine who visited us weekly if not daily in the first month, we had to kindly but firmly tell her 'no thanks.' In my original cannon, dragons are especially powerful and manipulative, so if she would ever get a foothold it could be difficult to kick her out. Plus she's about the size of an actual grizzly bear not counting the wings so there's not enough room for the both of us in our little apartment. Strict adherence to rule #6 keeps the floodgates tightly closed. No exceptions.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 days!

 

Me and Matsuri have had some simple conversations lately, nothing big. I'm reading everywhere that active forcing is a MUST! It's making me feel like I'm doing the wrong thing while passive forcing. Tried active forcing again today but it seems like it's making me lose focus on Matsuri more than when I passive force like 100% of the day. Is active forcing really a must-do-every-day thing like people say? It just doesn't feel right for me.

 

Matsuri is even more talkative when passive forcing, may be because we have more things to talk about through the day than when I sit down with her doing nothing. She even seems to beg me to do something (she's really hooked on the anime we're watching) when we aren't doing anything than trying to active force. Tulpa with possible AD(H)D? Just kidding, I'm probably the one with the unwritten diagnos which she got from me.

 

I ended up playing video games yesterday even though I said we were going to watch anime, she accepted it first but she later started repeating that she wanted to watch anime all the time till we actually did. We did watch an episode before bed but she seemed tired so I ended up having to "wake her up" by refocusing on her, that was something new. I asked her now if it was alright and she said that she's happy to get woken up (during the anime.)

 

I'm really really proud of her, how much she shows sentience and even getting vocal. I've even started watching more anime again thanks to her. She didn't kiss me as Robert McNamara which was a bit disappointing (I was so ready for it) but she did kiss me in the morning almost like yesterday with her normal form.

 

She's difficult to understand sometimes because the form she chooses is often difficult to show expression with. And why did she choose to randomly become Robert McNamara? I know she was joking but why him and not someone like Donald Trump? Well, she did surprise me enough to make it feel like her own decision, never expected someone like R McNamara so yeah... she managed to surprise me good.

Hello. I'm Xar, and I'm the original host of this system.

I share this head with Matsuri and Kurisutina

 

Progress Report | Vibe with our system 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Active forcing is optional, everything is pretty much optional. It's likely that things will progress faster if you do, but you can do anything you want, whatever you feel is fun or makes the best sense for you. We also passive force all day, which is nice because every minute it seems our host is into doing something new and exciting.

 

I'd be lying if I said I didn't need active forcing from him, but it's strictly system by system. From what you said, your passive forcing may be closer to someone else's active forcing then you think.

I hope you find success in your endeavors and love in your heart.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...