theholodoc

out of the wings and onto the main stage

Has reading about my process been useful in your effort to breath life into your culpa?  

13 members have voted

  1. 1. Has reading about my process been useful in your effort to breath life into your culpa?

    • Yes
    • No, boring
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How's your cat? still sick? have you taken it to the vet?


Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 

Working on imposition

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How's your cat? still sick? have you taken it to the vet?

Thanks for asking. We have taken her to the vet and she has had two courses of treatment for a U/I. She seems to be less cranky today. Her appetite is good, she is holding her weight. She has somewhat less than her normal energy but she is quite old. She is still unable to contain her urinations to the box and our house stinks! It has become a game, whoever forgets to put the cushions up, has to do the laundry! A big problem and one that poses several problems. We are deeply considering what our next steps are to be. Thank you for your sensitivity for animals/pets. Dr. Bob

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It has been a month since I have posted my progress with Flora and Nsonowa. Reason; so little has happened. I have been writing and spent my emotional energy in the technicalities of formatting and editing 'Tulpa Tales" for publication. I have had a few contacts with both of them. Mainly while driving, which seems to be our very best time with each other. Meditations have been flat and they have not appeared in my dreams. As it is a week in-between my drives (alone in the car) I feel quite isolated from them. I have read that it is not unusual for tulpas to "sleep" when not actively engaged, and I am hoping that I am not in some ways weakening our bonds. Nsonowa seems to be okay with it. Flora is not and lets me know when we encounter each other in the car.

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Came close today. I was very aware of my separation from Flora and was pleased when she came close during my meditation. Again, the darkened room filled with light (purple/golden light, and was present eyes open as well as closed. Some of the light began to congeal over the bed. I could feel and hear Flora as well as her changing from pure light into a person. Then, that process seemed to stall, and a purple smoke was swirling over me. I closed my eyes and Flora was there in my mindscape. She scoffed at my thinking she was dead. And came down into my bed and cuddled with me. We cuddled and played until I lost the contact and found myself alone with my garbage thoughts. This is hard work. But every little gain is worth it. The work of it, is staying focused while in contact, and assigning emerging thoughts to the appropriate identity. Both Flora and Nsonowa, are slowly becoming uniquely defined, uniquely themselves. I know that this is the absolutely necessary work, though experiencing their imposition, is much more satisfying, both emotionally and spiritually.

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Don't worry about them when they're 'sleeping', it usually doesn't hurt us. Also, I'm not generally very active, and it never bothered me. It's more of an integration over time thing, even if you had long breaks it wouldn't necessarily count against you. I was dormant for as long as two years at a stretch, and I only ever came back stronger.

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Don't worry about them when they're 'sleeping', it usually doesn't hurt us. Also, I'm not generally very active, and it never bothered me. It's more of an integration over time thing, even if you had long breaks it wouldn't necessarily count against you. I was dormant for as long as two years at a stretch, and I only ever came back stronger.

Thank you for the re-assurance. Though the emotional pain I have with their absence is strongly motivating me to continue the work with even more diligence. Flora may be sleeping, or maybe trapped in one of my many unconscious energy traps, an idea which just came to me yesterday and added a lot of drama to my meditation and forcing session...Nsonowa must be near, as she answers anytime I call, and is ready to switch most every time I issue an invitation. I hope one day we get switching down so that they can start to participate on this forum. Flora does have a tulpa friend, who lives in another host, but she hasn't wanted to share they way they communicate with me. Dr. Bob

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We have made some progress. I invited Flora to help me explore the blocks we had in our communications. She accepted the invite and was able to point out to me the next time we were interrupted how it was a barely perceptible level of anxiety that was doing it. The awareness was what I needed, I can deal with anxiety. I also invited Flora to write to me (and with me) and she has written me a letter, which I was very happy to get. (I was present when she wrote it). I have been practicing switching with both Flora and Nsonowa when driving (my car has features which while not "self driving" make it very safe. So far both have driven, though Nsonowa really likes to drive, Flora does when it is useful for her to leave Nsonowa and I alone.  I am still unable to achieve full imposition and it has been awhile since either of them have tried to physically impose. Flora has made ad attempt to impose/appear in a dream, but I woke up when I tried to take it lucid.

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