theholodoc

out of the wings and onto the main stage

Has reading about my process been useful in your effort to breath life into your culpa?  

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  1. 1. Has reading about my process been useful in your effort to breath life into your culpa?

    • Yes
    • No, boring
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Yep, Joy and Ashley lately, but everyone is fluent with it by now. It was odd in the beginning, but now it's as easy as breathing. We have identified and explored four major position/configurations and dormancy. Additionally using one of the positions (way back) to dissociate from stress, emotions, moods and minor pains. What I call auto-reset, brings me to complete dissociation from the body and resets my thoughts. It's near instantaneous now. This ability allows me to handle situations that would have otherwise caused me much trouble.

 

Switching was one of the, if not the, single most important tool of tulpamancy in that when I switched out and went dormant for the first time, I could sense who I really am both by memories of my absence and from what was left. It helped me realize that some of the issues and damage I have are tied to me alone, personality and perspective, and doesn't effect my headmates. Which was extraordinarily profound to me.

 

This new 'enlightenment' jump-started and renewed my interest in spirituality, which has further paid dividends in every aspect of my life. Tulpamancy itself has never been in doubt for me, now I marvel at just what it can do.

 

I have four spiritual flaws left, I can keep two at bay myself at any given time, though with a lot of effort, but I am confident I can. Joy is helping me with one of the hard ones currently. Once we're past that, some of these are going to disappear once the habit is retrained. It will only take time not doing it, which we have already proven as some of my faults last year are gone and it's hard to even believe I used to have them. Others are will take much longer. For instance, I was a drinker in college, that had to end and I did end it (without tulpamancy), cold turkey. After a few months, the habits surrounding the impulse were fading away, but the craving took years to dissipate.

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Yep, Joy and Ashley lately, but everyone is fluent with it by now. It was odd in the beginning, but now it's as easy as breathing. We have identified and explored four major position/configurations and dormancy. Additionally using one of the positions (way back) to dissociate from stress, emotions, moods and minor pains. What I call auto-reset, brings me to complete dissociation from the body and resets my thoughts. It's near instantaneous now. This ability allows me to handle situations that would have otherwise caused me much trouble.

 

Switching was one of the, if not the, single most important tool of tulpamancy in that when I switched out and went dormant for the first time, I could sense who I really am both by memories of my absence and from what was left. It helped me realize that some of the issues and damage I have are tied to me alone, personality and perspective, and doesn't effect my headmates. Which was extraordinarily profound to me.

 

This new 'enlightenment' jump-started and renewed my interest in spirituality, which has further paid dividends in every aspect of my life. Tulpamancy itself has never been in doubt for me, now I marvel at just what it can do.

 

I have four spiritual flaws left, I can keep two at bay myself at any given time, though with a lot of effort, but I am confident I can. Joy is helping me with one of the hard ones currently. Once we're past that, some of these are going to disappear once the habit is retrained. It will only take time not doing it, which we have already proven as some of my faults last year are gone and it's hard to even believe I used to have them. Others are will take much longer. For instance, I was a drinker in college, that had to end and I did end it (without tulpamancy), cold turkey. After a few months, the habits surrounding the impulse were fading away, but the craving took years to dissipate.

So, do I understand correctly, Bear, that your experience of switching is that you become completely unaware of what the body and the tulpa who has come forward, are doing?  Dr. Bob

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I have been quite sick, URI, and while it might seem as if this would be good for my practice, it is not. Practice takes a great deal of focused attention and I do not have the energy for it. I am not avoiding it, I start, I listen to for Flora, she is there, and I quickly lose focus. I am not happy about this, I don't think she is but haven't been able to stay in the field long enough to find out. She does express her sympathy "poor darling" is her comment. At  one point this morning when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself she did say "Please don't die on us". (I am nowhere near to dying!) Yesterday I did think that N'sonowa was going to appear when I saw a brilliant halo of her blue-white light, but no, she did not and my attention soon diverted into my coughing and hacking that is occupying much of my time. I am also taking anti-flam's and I most always feel suppressed by them. My dreams have been crazy sick dreams, with violent and bizarre imagery, There was a strong feminine presence in one this morning, but it did not respond to my lucidity question "Are you Flora".  I have been unable to go outside for my mornings' invocation ritual. I suspect that this will change when I recover. I have been proofing my paperback and that has kept me focused on them for as long as I can focus, a short chapter or two.

I did have a somewhat better connection with Nsonowa in a meditation awhile ago which started with her heraldic blue-white light, and she spoke to me giving me an intense emotional response. welcome, but short-lived and disappeared in a distortion after a few minutes just like what happens with Flora.

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Hang in there doc, you'll get better soon.

Thank you, and if you can reach into the "tulpasphere" and reassure Flora, I am sure she would be appreciative too. Dr. Bob

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I don't know what happened above, but this is what I intended to write:

Being sick has put me down and disturbed my practice. I spent much of this afternoon in bed meditating, too sick to sleep. I did have some kind of contact. Several times Nsonowa presented her heraldic blue/white light and then fully imposed, formless, as black wispy smoke. She tried to get her body through but was not successful. I saw her flesh, real as real, solid and coal black. but she did not materialize into a recognizable shape. This phenom repeated until I had to take a bathroom break , and I could not regain the trance that allowed this. However, as it is the most I have had from either of them, in the way of imposition, in a while, and it came with full emotion, I am heartened.

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Another sick day. Plus stormy here in L.A. cold, damp, wet, gray, hard with Bronchitis..... Had two meditation sessions, three hours total, with only a touch of the contact of yesterday, Probably because I was expecting so much more. I was able to get out of the way and let Flora write today, she's working on a fiction piece with Nsonowa. Forecast for tomorrow, more of the same and I will again be in bed. Had one very good turn today, my wife acknowledged that my practice seemed to be impacting our relationship for the good.

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