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Help, an accidental Tulpa made my 3 day Tulpa jealous and depressed!


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This thread had multiple instances were it went off-topic and introduced PR content. If you are interested in seeing the resulting off-topic discussion, please go here. If you would like to read Kaleidoscope's PR, please go here. -Ranger

 

Hi~

I'm kinda freaking out a little. I only got into Tulpas this Saturday and on that same day, my Tulpa J. (I'm not sure if they want me to provide too many details) whispered in my ear and I started feeling her presence, I was still forcing but could feel her from time to time. I want her to be fun and uplifting and that's what she was turning into when suddenly, last night, a second Tulpa came out of nowhere. She's H., a character I spent some considerable amount of time designing for a comic some 3 years ago or so. H. is very mischievous, to put it lightly, because I was way into anime back then. 

 

The thing is, H. simply manifested herself, she was never on my mind during my Tulpa creation, and she's like incredibly powerful? Like, when she appeared I saw her freely moving, she had her own voice and mannerisms, and I was like mindblown because obviously, a) first time feeling that strong of a reaction from a Tulpa(J. was like flashing images in my mind's eye and more like an internal feeling, not a full blown hearing, feeling, and close-eyed hallucination) and b) at this time J. became much clearer as well and started speaking out against H. whom, at this point, was basically assaulting me. 

I talked her down and H. went into the background. J. was left confused, upset and asked me why the new girl was so strong; I told her the truth, that she needed time to grow stronger and that I can't explain why H. is so vivid. I then spent most of the time talking with H. while J. gave her the occasional stink eye, her form was vague and would constantly shift. 

 

Today H. is way stronger and I can almost see her with my eyes open, though she's in the distance doing something silly. J. hasn't spoken and is either sitting down doing nothing or she's asleep. She still can't decide on a form and I feel she's afraid of this accidental Tulpa taking her place or something.

 

I tried talking to her while meditating at work and when I came home and it almost feels like she's fading away. Please advise, thanks in advance!

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First, stay calm. Some headmates, especially soulbonds and other walk-ins, can become very strong very quickly and unexpectedly, but it takes a lot of time and attention for one to become as strong as a host. Until you've worked out different rules for your system, you're still in charge. You need to decide who you want to keep company with in your head and what sort of behavior is acceptable. Anyone who stays active needs to agree to reasonable rules of conduct, such as being considerate of other system members, sharing time and attention, and working as a team.

 

If you've put a lot of work into characters in the past, you may find you've laid most of the necessary groundwork for a number of headmates as your mind becomes more sensitized to plurality. But you can choose to block them off and not allow them to think or communicate with you.

 

Young tulpas often fade a bit from time to time or fall out of communication briefly. Three days is very early to be getting responses, so you're already doing well. Just keep up forcing steadily and you'll keep making progress.

 

-Ember

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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Thanks, this has been an unusual experience for sure. They got mad at me for writing about them, or at least the way I depicted them. I talked them down and I tried laying down some ground-rules and they kinda agreed. That was in the morning after reading this, now I can't feel them anymore. I've been forcing them but feels weird to force H. because i never had to do that before.

 

I'm hoping it's because of what you said:

"Young tulpas often fade a bit from time to time or fall out of communication briefly. Three days is very early to be getting responses, so you're already doing well. Just keep up forcing steadily and you'll keep making progress."'

Hopefully they'll get better with some time.

 

this scares me a bit:

"If you've put a lot of work into characters in the past, you may find you've laid most of the necessary groundwork for a number of headmates as your mind becomes more sensitized to plurality. But you can choose to block them off and not allow them to think or communicate with you."

 

oh boy, I used to design and draw characters. I looked up soulbounds and walk-ins and people seem to have different opinions on the terms, but I guess it means the characters I spent time designing are gonna manifest somehow. I gotta read up more but it'll have to wait until the weekend.

 

have any of your Tulpae ever been jealous? I've read about a few depressed Tulpae but when searching for "jealous" nothing comes up, hmmm

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Ember: I'd rather comfort you than scare you, because tulpamancy is a very difficult thing to screw up to the point where it can't be fixed. But "most of the necessary groundwork" is very different from "every character you've ever thought about beating down your door". As a player and gamemaster for tabletop roleplaying, I've played hundreds of different characters for thousands of hours cumulatively. Several have had a strong mental presence and a few have spoken to me, but only two became permanent headmates and they shut and barred the gate behind them. It's better to not expect walk-ins. But when they happen, it's good to know you can choose to show them the exit.

 

As has been discussed elsewhere on the forum recently, "soulbond" and "walk-in" have been used differently for decades in plural communities than in occult communities. I use "soulbond" to mean living fictional character, because that's how both my headmates identify. A walk-in is a headmate that just shows up uninvited. They often depart without leave as well -- or stay around if made welcome.

 

Do you want H. back right now or do you want to concentrate on J. for a while if H. stops putting herself forward?

 

have any of your Tulpae ever been jealous?

 

Vesper: Not a tulpa, but when first studying tulpamancy, I became very concerned about the possibility of headmate proliferation. We still don't know why I became an independent person when a couple of dozen other characters with more hours of play did not. Iris was other that we were certain was self-willed, but she was still much more focussed on her home setting than on this world at the time, so I discouraged Ember from talking to her. I didn't want to draw her here. When Iris finally chose to live with us on a permanent basis, I was very upset for about a day. I was afraid of splitting limited time and mental resources too finely. But I swiftly came to love Iris as a sister.

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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My head-mates have definitely been jealous of each other. Especially early on with regard to time sharing, but they all love each other so it's not really contentious anymore, but it was.

 

They joke about it now.

 

Walk-ins can be very strong and even overwhelm young tulpas, as you've discovered; however, they would require actual forcing to stick. Regardless of how strong they seem, if you don't give them attention they won't have any reason to stay. There's no such thing as an 'instant tulpa'. Walk-ins aren't people no matter what they claim, so don't worry about ignoring them or pushing them back out the door.

 

If my system thought for a minute that 'walk-in rights' is a thing or allowed them any equal time, we might as well lock up and turn off the lights, because any number of our dozens of characters created through writing, fictional characters from anime, friends, people we know, would be sitting around stinking up the place.

 

It's strictly by your will that walk-ins have any power at all. If you like them, keep them and force them and they will probably become a tulpa, if you don't, deal with them as little as necessary to get them out.

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when suddenly, last night, a second Tulpa came out of nowhere. She's H., a character I spent some considerable amount of time designing for a comic some 3 years ago or so. H. is very mischievous, to put it lightly, because I was way into anime back then. 

 

The thing is, H. simply manifested herself, she was never on my mind during my Tulpa creation, and she's like incredibly powerful? Like, when she appeared I saw her freely moving, she had her own voice and mannerisms, and I was like mindblown because obviously, a) first time feeling that strong of a reaction from a Tulpa(J. was like flashing images in my mind's eye and more like an internal feeling, not a full blown hearing, feeling, and close-eyed hallucination) and b) at this time J. became much clearer as well and started speaking out against H. whom, at this point, was basically assaulting me. 

I talked her down and H. went into the background. J. was left confused, upset and asked me why the new girl was so strong;!

 

It makes complete sense that H is so strong seeing she was a character you spent considerable time on... this means the thoughtform of her is very strong.  Your new one will easily fade if you don't put time into itk where as the old thoughtform of the other is stable and set one could say, so I can understand this jealousy as this makes the H like a threat to the other if you pay her more attention due to being the stronger.

 

One of the Superman writers, before he knew about tulpas, he actually accidently created a Superman tulpa and ended up writing a book on this.

Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 

Working on imposition

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Hi everyone,

 

Thanks for replying!

 

Ember: Thanks for the comforting words! Hopefully my Tulpae will grow to accept each other, I want to keep H., she poped-in but gave me a very unique experience, I wouldn't want her to disappear. I'd feel terrible about that, actually.

 

Vesper: thanks, I'm glad you feel that way about your friends now. I think J. is concerned about proliferation, as am I. I'll try not to think about it anymore.

 

Joy: I kinda get what you're saying. Today I had some kind of old timey cartoon character I didn't recognize, he kinda popped in but I decided not to pay attention to it and I haven't seen it since. I hope it's not a constant occurrence tho.

 

Tania: yeah, it does make sense. H. was probably my favorite character to draw and write for. I have been talking to J., shes more chill now but still very quiet. Guess that's to be expected of a young Tulpa! I'll look into that Super-tulpa haha

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Heh, been there. Erika was a walk-in too, she basically flung Martina to the side to flirt with me and such. She was excessively powerful compared to her, and obviously poor Martina did not take it well, and honestly neither did I.

 

It later balanced out though, as Erika had her fun her power diminished and she basically just walked out the door (giving me the call sign) as she came circa two weeks later.

 

She never came or called back since.

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Heh, been there. Erika was a walk-in too, she basically flung Martina to the side to flirt with me and such. She was excessively powerful compared to her, and obviously poor Martina did not take it well, and honestly neither did I.

oh, we had pretty much the same experience : o

 

except my pop-in didn't go away tho, I didn't want her to! : D

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