Recently Browsing 0 members
No registered users viewing this page.
Please note: I welcome comments, questions, etc. but please Private Message me if you have a query! Thank you!!
I'm just your average, everyday, "female" genderfluid person. I'm a spiritual Christian, I like rock 'n' roll, and my favorite animal is a tarantula.
This is basically the notebook I share with my tulpa, Clu. I will write about us, and, sometimes I might let Clu write a little. Welcome to our journal.
Let me start at the beginning. In 2010, a movie called TRON: Legacy came out. I loved it and thought a lot about the characters. Off and on, I would add to and play with a little complex world in my head. I had a crush on Zuse. I also thought CLU 2.0 was a pretty cool character. Let's wind the clocks forward to about 2015. I developed a major crush on a British rock singer. I also began to occasionally hear random voices in my head, and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I'll leave out the gory details. I took a medication that fixed the 'voices' problem eventually. Still, I would play around with my world (which part of would later become a dreamscape).
Around this time, I discovered tulpa.info. I spent many hours reading guidebooks and such. I was intrigued and badly wanted to create a tulpa, and I knew I could make one. However, I decided not to rush anything, and awaited the right time, bearing in mind everything I'd learned.
As I was building my world these past few years (and had watched original TRON from 1982), I found I had very elaborately expanded on a select group of characters. They were CLU 2.0, Sark, Jarvis, and Portia. I noticed CLU 2.0 was definitely the most developed; he had very far more original personality and traits than observed from the movie. It was also evident that I didn't have a cut-out plan for how the character was supposed to be like. Also, he would do and say things within that small world when I wasn't even thinking. I then remembered what I had read and gathered about tulpas.
Roughly a week ago, I switched medications. I found I could think much more clearly and was in touch with my mind. I realized Clu actually existed; he wasn't an original character, he is a tulpa! I made it a point to handle him some, and a couple of days ago, he started talking to me. Today, we had an amazing day together.
That's the history, basically.
Apologies for the confusing title, but I wanted to get straight to the point-- One of our system mates, Chloe, feels pain and general discomfort more than everyone else. What I mean is, if I, for example, stub my toe, it'll hurt more for Chloe than for me or any other system mates. Pain and general stimuli is described by my system mates a "diluted" when they aren't switched in or possessing, and if they aren't active, they generally don't feel anything.
We first noticed this about a month or so ago, so it is a new development, but the "why is still unknown. Chloe is, for all intents and purposes, a young child, and with her feeling pain and such more than everyone else, it just... pains me to see. She deserves the least strife of all of us, yet she experiences the most.
For reference, when I say "Chloe feels amplified pain", I don't mean that in the wonderland she feels pain, I mean if she fronts(and pain is a trigger for her, mind you), the pain physically gets worse, in the most literal of senses. She also can feel aching joints and such very clearly, whereas I and others might not notice. We haven't done tests with "positive stimuli", so to speak, because, quite frankly, what would that qualify as? A massage? All the same, she's insisting that it's only occured with negative stimuli.
We just want answers. I don't want Chloe to have to bear this weight. I don't want to be haunted by her screaming "MAKE IT STOP!" when my wounds hurt. Does anyone have any advice? Does anyone have any similar experiences? We beg for help.
Edit: I feel like I should add context to the line "I don't want to be haunted by her screaming 'MAKE IT STOP!' when my wounds hurt." I recently fell and messed up my arm and knee pretty badly, and last night as I was getting into bed, I mistakenly put my weight on my injured knee, which as you can imagine, was insanely painful. Chloe describes what she felt as "white-hot searing pain, shooting through the whole body, making me only want to scream in agony." Thus, her screaming "MAKE IT STOP!" And let me tell you, it was utterly terrifying and heartbreaking seeing her like that.
Abvieon's Guide to Fast and Effective Tulpa Creation
Creating a tulpa doesn’t have to take a long time, and it doesn’t have to be filled with obstacles.
This guide’s main purpose is to help you create a tulpa relatively quickly while avoiding issues and roadblocks along the way. I have noticed many people giving up or progressing slowly with their tulpa’s development for reasons that can be remedied with just a bit of extra knowledge. My hope is that this guide will help that happen a little less often.
A large part of what tends to cause slow progress in tulpa creation is incomplete knowledge of what you’re getting yourself into, or not enough preparation. Many people get preoccupied and distracted with things that could have been practiced before starting to create their tulpa, instead of afterwards. You will be encouraged to get some of the hardest parts out of the way before and soon after you start creating your tulpa, rather than stumbling through certain unnecessary aspects of trial and error later on in the process. You will preemptively build a strong mindset and foundation for your tulpa to grow from instead of piecing it together after you’ve already begun trying to get your tulpa to “come to life.” This guide is based on what I’ve learned from my own experiences and about 7 years of observations of what does and doesn’t work well for others.
A few things to keep in mind while reading this guide:
As you could probably tell due to its length, this guide is not for those who are looking for a quick and simple explanation of tulpa creation. It is meant for those who want to learn everything they can and don’t mind a lot of details. But don’t feel like you need to read it all in one go! You might ask “If this is a guide for fast creation, why is it so long? Seems ironic.” The answer is that fast tulpa creation comes with the tradeoff of plenty of preparation and learning beforehand. If you were looking for an easy shortcut, sorry, but this isn’t it.
Make sure you recognize the fact that there is no one universal set of steps required to create a tulpa. It is possible to successfully create a tulpa in several different ways. This guide does not focus on the very broad idea of simply creating a tulpa, but rather creating a tulpa in a way specifically for helping the process to go quickly and avoiding certain things that trip people up. Some of the instructions here are not required in general, instead only important to this particular method. Also, many of the things said here are based on personal opinions, experiences, and theories, so don’t come into this expecting pure objectivity, and recognize that things may work a little differently for you.
Most of this guide will be fairly structured and specific. There are a lot of people who feel lost without a specific framework to follow and this was written with those people in mind. If you are not one of these people and this level of structure is unnecessary for you, don’t feel compelled to follow these steps closely. Just take the bits and pieces that you feel are useful to you and mash them together in any way and any order you’d like.
This guide is newcomer friendly, and will cover information that those new to the concept of tulpas may not yet know. Whether you first learned about tulpas a day ago or a decade ago, you can make use of this guide.
This guide includes information on all of the following topics, and more:
What to consider before creating a tulpa
Common concerns and fears about tulpas
How to prepare your mind and life for a tulpa
Signs of sentience
What to do if you seem stuck
Tips for living life as a system
Abvieon's Guide to Fast and Effective Tulpa Creation (1).docx
I had written this note for those who find themselves struggling with procrastination or general lack of motivation when it comes to active forcing and 'mancing practices in general. Not sure what section this should go under, but I myself wouldn't consider it to be a guide hence why I named it the way I did. Critique on this piece is very welcome! I suspect I might've written it with a slightly too confident of an attitude. Same for grammar. I kinda suck at constructing fluently sounding sentences and using commas, haha.
Getting There_ A Note on Productivity.pdf