need some help

[Walker]

im about 10 hours into meditation and its getting alot harder then it used to be. the first 5 hours were easy as hell with lots of progress but lately its getting harder and harder to visualise my tulpa. and is it good or bad to force for an hour every day? because thats what ive been doing

[Koji]

Try to force as much as possible, I've hit the same sort of snag as you have. The best thing to do is just to relax, and force. It may not seem that you are making progress, but it will probably make a huge difference in the long run. Also, don't count your hours, it has some possibly negative side effects.

[-BackstaB-]

Mhmm hour counts are a no no. Also, try to passive force, basically just think about her there with alot, wether it be sitting next to you in school/work whatever. But try not to puppet him/her. Ie: Making her move without her doing it herself.

[Koji]

I mean, hour counts aren't harmful by themselves, but if you use them as they to judge where certain things should happen, don't. If you use them at all, use them for showing where certain things happened, not when certain things should happen. If you believe that you can't be vocal until 20+ hours, but then your tupla starts talking at 10, then you will mostly likely shoo those thoughts away, when they actually were your tupla's thoughts.

[SSaint]

What I noticed happening with myself sometimes is that I'd make a lot of progress, have some good sessions, whatever. Then I'd stop having such good sessions, and I'd think, "I've lost something." This would happen time and time again. It felt like I was doing something wrong, now it's time to change things up. Or maybe I'd try to capture something I did in the last couple sessions. Those never helped. Sometimes everything is smooth and you make good progress, and other times it gets slow for a while. There's a snag, something you're caught up on.

 

I get out of those lulls not by thinking about what I can do to improve, but just doing what feels right. Eventually I get past whatever barrier I've set up. The best example I can think of is when I was working on personality. I felt like I was making no progress. I kept trying to think about why, going over what had changed. Diablo 3 had just come out and I'd spent about a week not forcing, maybe I lost a lot of progress and had to rebuild. So I tried going back and rebuilding and it felt like I went nowhere. I was listening to different music before, did that have an effect? I went back to using the music I had before, nothing. Maybe it was some slight alteration in my forcing method? I thought through a couple other things, tried different strategies to get past this obstacles. Nothing helped.

 

After a couple weeks I just resigned myself to forging (forcing?) ahead and hoping that the problem would just go away. It sort of did. When I stopped trying to think about how to fix it and resumed normal work, empty of expectations, I realized the problem pretty quickly. I wasn't making any progress because I had a good enough understanding already of who my tulpa was that there was no work left to be done on personality.

 

So anyways, that was just an example. I'm not saying you have nothing left to work on or whatever, there's a variety of problems you could run into. When it comes to visualization, I had trouble visualizing my tulpa the more detail I put into her, since there was more to keep track of. I still have trouble imagining exactly what she looks like without spending a couple seconds thinking about it. It's easy to build up a tulpa's form faster than your mind can keep track of it, if that makes sense. Reach being longer than the width of what you grasp and all that.

[Danzi]

a lot* sorry the grammar nazi got the best of me. also an hour a day is a lot better than i have been doing

[Kindofajerk]

The whole process itself is not an even continuum of progress. If your tulpa is talking in 10 hours, it doesn't mean you'll be imposing at 20 and so forth. In the beginning, you are literally awakening your tulpa to sentience, giving them a form and personality, etc. This is [b/]a lot[/b]. Think about a baby. They are born in less than a day but then spend most of their life growing, learning, maturing. The early stages of creating your tulpa happen rapidly, but then they too must grow, learn and mature.

 

In other words, don't worry. If you feel you're actually moving backwards, as SSaint described, plug on through. It could be that you are, or more likely that you're expecting too much. I remember my first day, working on form. I was so excited just to be able to see her outline, and *very* vague features. Now I get impatient when I can't instantly visualize her perfectly.

[Walker]

thanks guys! i really appreciate the help, and i'm already forcing better. most of my life ive lived through the saying "if youre going through hell, keep going" and never really incorporated that saying into something as alien to me as making a tulpa. but thanks for the clear mind and the lifted spirits!