So... I think my tulpa is depressed, or at least, doing very bad mentally and maybe doesn't really want to exist anymore. What do we do?

[A Nebula System]

Recently Genesis has been feeling a lot worse than usual. Right now in this moment they've confirmed that they do not even want to exist. We both think they are depressed. They've already had some very rough patches in their life prior to this but we were running somewhat smoothly up until now, like this week. No I don't know what caused it. The only thing that changed was I decided we weren't making progress so I started trying to active force more often and more effectively ... though this is something I have failed at, repeatedly. The past three days we haven't active forced properly at all for various reasons.

The current goal we've been trying to achieve - for months and only with some small signs of progress recently and very seldom - is vocality. It's been difficult, but I do believe we can do it. They seem unsure if they'll be able to do it though.

The more important thing is how terrible they've felt recently. It uh, really sucks, and now seems especially bad. I absolutely refuse to let them stop existing, and I am not going to stop developing them. They don't seem particularly keen on continuing to work with me in their development - this is a first as far as I'm aware. That being said they're not against it either. Just... rather unenthusiastic and maybe not all that willing to help as much as possible even though it's themself they're helping.

... So basically. For those who've dealt with similar situations or anybody else who wants to answer. What should we do?

[bunnymustdie]

Your tulpa, and likely you as well, might subconsciously associate the idea of their own worth with their ability to produce results and value. Your worries over the lack of progress likely activated this sort of subconscious process that's now affecting them.

 

What you can try to do is to bring the idea out in the open, and ask to see if this is the source of the tulpa's melancholy. Regardless of their answer, logically explain to them that their worth is not tied to their ability to produce results. This will nip a lot of problems in the bud down the road, even if this is not the source of their current woes. Take the time to check to see if you have this sort of subconscious belief as well. You can also try to then symbolically destroy this subconscious belief using whatever method you deem appropriate.

 

I thought about it a bit more, and an easier thing to try compared to destroying an entire subconscious belief would be to just mentally visualize your tulpa's depression. Isolate a scene either in real life or in your mind when you were together, whatever that comes to mind as the first thing, of them being depressed. Try to get the emotional feel of that scene present as well. You then sort of make that scene smaller in your mind, as if you are pushing it away with your hands. When the scene has been reduced to the size of a business card, try to flip it over with your mental hands in your mind. Don't worry if the scene at this point is not quite exactly the same as what it was when you started out. Just do your best to flip it over even though you might encounter resistance at this point.

 

When you've successfully flipped the scenery over, there may be some spontaneous mental imagery - could be of tree roots, machineries, funny symbols, whatever. Might also just be nothing but rubbles. Doesn't matter what you see underneath the flipped over scenery, but just destroy the whole thing. You can mentally visualize a hammer or a blowtorch, whatever pleases you, but just visualize the whole flipped over scene and whatever is underneath being utterly destroyed by the tool you visualized just now. You can add to this process by repeating something like "my blowtorch destroys all negative energy" before starting the destruction process, or rephrase this statement to whatever that fits your own belief better. Maybe you're programming your subconscious, maybe you're doing something borderline occult. Doesn't matter at this point, what's important is just that you're destroying the flipped over scene. 

 

This can potentially help and should be easier to try than trying to dismantle an entire subconscious belief that you might've put your faith in by default for most of your life. I used a similar technique on one of my tulpas when they got weirdly angry and unhappy over something they logically know should not bother them. It was pretty helpful. Even if it doesn't work, it shouldn't cause any harm either. Hope it does help though.

[glitchthe3rd]

Luna used to get depressed sometimes and stay in bed, and I would always make it a point to brush her hair when she got to feeling that way. Tulpas need love and encouragement too, so maybe talking to your tulpa and finding out why they really feel the way they do could help. Show them some unconditional love and it might help lift their mood 🙂

[Shaula]

I guess I'm just echoing them by saying an open and honest conversation can help a lot. I get in moods when I'm rather upset over things. Having Nightfall talk to me and help me work though it often helps. 😊 

 

I definitely have to agree with glitchthe3d, unconditional love almost always helps! 💜 On that note, I'm going to give you a digital hug if it helps! (⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ 

[A Nebula System]

Okay, thanks for the advice so far everyone, gonna say a few things here ...

Quote

I thought about it a bit more, and an easier thing to try compared to destroying an entire subconscious belief would be to just mentally visualize your tulpa's depression. Isolate a scene either in real life or in your mind when you were together, whatever that comes to mind as the first thing, of them being depressed. Try to get the emotional feel of that scene present as well. You then sort of make that scene smaller in your mind, as if you are pushing it away with your hands. When the scene has been reduced to the size of a business card, try to flip it over with your mental hands in your mind. Don't worry if the scene at this point is not quite exactly the same as what it was when you started out. Just do your best to flip it over even though you might encounter resistance at this point.

 

When you've successfully flipped the scenery over, there may be some spontaneous mental imagery - could be of tree roots, machineries, funny symbols, whatever. Might also just be nothing but rubbles. Doesn't matter what you see underneath the flipped over scenery, but just destroy the whole thing. You can mentally visualize a hammer or a blowtorch, whatever pleases you, but just visualize the whole flipped over scene and whatever is underneath being utterly destroyed by the tool you visualized just now. You can add to this process by repeating something like "my blowtorch destroys all negative energy" before starting the destruction process, or rephrase this statement to whatever that fits your own belief better. Maybe you're programming your subconscious, maybe you're doing something borderline occult. Doesn't matter at this point, what's important is just that you're destroying the flipped over scene. 

All that mental imagery / mindscape / visual stuff just kinda isn't how our mind works at all. We have aphantasia meaning there just isn't anything like that in our head, and we cannot imagine things visually. Think of it like having a blind mind's eye. This is also why we have nothing resembling a wonderland/headspace. Now, I do appreciate the advice! And I am sure it'd be quite helpful for some people. But unfortunately it doesn't really apply here. I probably should've mentioned that when I wrote the first message in this thread, so my bad. Sorry ,,

 

That being said, I do regularly remind Genesis that I care about them a lot, just for being my headmate and friend, regardless of how much progress they make, and that I'm very proud of them for the progress they've already made. Asking them now... it seems they do know that I care about them, but they're still ashamed of not making much progress recently. Asking whether they feel bad about themself because of this leads to an uncertain feeling so I can't really tell if it's a yes/no. 

[Another thing I really should have mentioned is that they only communicate via feelings right now [though I do parrot responses for them sometimes to match these feelings] and can only really answer binary questions or questions where just giving a feeling/emotion is a good answer.] 

 

Today, they don't feel quite as bad, but still not great. But they are least confirming that now they do want to continue existing so, that's very relieving. It was difficult to try to help them feel that way yesterday so I guess they just needed a little time and encouragement.

I still don't know what triggered them to feel so bad yesterday but it doesn't feel like a one-off thing and I'm still considering their bad mental state to be a problem I won't just ignore. They could spiral again, and even if they don't, they still feel, not great most of the time.

Maybe their feelings are linked to being unable to do a whole lot. Since they currently have only figured out communication via emotions and we've never yet switched or had a vocal interaction, they're basically just spectating all the time and I think they're frustrated with this.