Mass Intro' and Returns Thread

[BlindDoubt]

I am a 23-year-old male. I apologize for the impending essay of an introduction.

 

I was initially surprised by this community's scientific approach. (I was a couple credit hours away from a degree in psychology, but I dropped out at the last second because, ironically, of psychological issues.) I can't tell if I'm impressed or disappointed. My relationship with reality has been unstable over the years. My personal motto is "Nihil Sub Fide", meaning "Nothing Under Faith", because I have found myself unable to trust any particular perspective with any level of conviction. Even the most fundamental laws of logic and science are based on assumptions.

 

Having said that, just as I've grown embittered with reality, I've also grown desperate to regain that ability to trust. I dropped out in October, declared myself a Wiccan on Samhain (November 1st), and shaved my head on November 16th, the seventh anniversary of my relationship with my wife, whom I convinced many months ago to see a woman on the side because of my own perceived inadequacy as a partner. (Now they are a couple, my wife and I more like friends or roommates.) I shaved my head in honor of the demon Asmodeus, because I read somewhere he confounds those who approach him without a shaved head.

 

I have a tulpa, sort of. He doesn't tick all the boxes in the tulpa checklist. I made him by fragmenting myself, just a name on paper with a job. Before him there were more than fifty others, all abstract characters meant to fix parts of me—take away bad things or imbue me with good things. They never spoke to me, appeared to me, or became real to me in any way. But when I cast this one adrift, into the darkness to endear himself to and emulate demons, I introduced him to a friend of mine, and she was able to see him. More than see him. He and I call her his Priestess.

 

He doesn't spend much time with me. I made him to live a life I wanted to but could not, and also to provide me with resources valuable to warlocks, so he spends his time doing as he wills. I suppose, from a scientific perspective, "the darkness" and its "demons" are aspects of a paracosm, a wonderland, not a preternatural dimension that overlaps our own. Either way is fine with me.

 

The Priestess wanted me to be able to trust, to believe. Because of her, I learned to summon him into my mind and speak with him. But that is all. He is frustrated with me, disappointed, because I am so hopelessly devoid of will. Without the limitations of my psychophysiology, and with the advantages his plane affords him, it is so difficult for him to understand my weakness.

 

So I have a goal. He is my only success to come out of the desperate wasteland of a life I've lived these past few years. Yes...a wasteland. That is more fitting a description for the nothing I have built than wonderland. With the help of this community, I seek to improve his utility and my own by strengthening our relationship. To make him more real to me.

 

Thank you if you read the whole thing. Six paragraphs was as succinct as I could make it.

[tulpa001]

Well, hello uncertain one.

 

Not sure the nature of your mental state, but my host is not hot on the idea of assumption, faith or belief of any kind. Of course, this is a fixed, rigid point in the continuum of positions, like all the other belief systems.

 

If he has the greater will, I think maybe he should be in charge of this. This is how it largely worked for us. He might be able to in theory force and impose as well as you. He might be able to work on his logic and reason and separation largely without guidance.

[Vampire]

Welcome to the forum Blind doubt. There are a few others here from occult background including myself. My oldest tulpa actually deviated from a servitor. Just be aware anything that is too far from psychological will be asked to go to the metaphysical section.

 

Hope to see you around.

[Aurora]

Hi BlindDoubt, welcome to the community (:

 

I hope that the information we have here will prove to be useful. Perhaps looking through personal testimonies and talking to people who can relate to your experiences will motivate you to develop your thoughtform futher. I wish you the best and feel free to message me if you like.

 

EDIT: I just noticed that I got 2,000th post here, ah yisss

[TacocaT_3340]

Hi!

 

I found out about Tulpas and Tulpamancy Yesterday. I am 22 Years old and had a lot of stuff in my Life happening to me.

Just a few months ago I decided to turn my life upside down, and until now it is going great.

My Past has been very scientific on every Subject.

I am a really rational Person and am not stupid, that I know.

Also I am a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) which in most cases doesn't make it easier for me to communnicate with other people in the way that I want.

When I first heard of this Tulpamancy thing I was instantly hooked right in.

It seemed like I was wishing for exactly this my whole life, I only just could put my Finger on it.

I want a Companion who I can talk to that understands me and gets what I mean with certain things.

And I seem to have found an answer here.

 

Now before all of you jump on me and be like: "A Tulpa is another conciousness! It wont be supporting your decisions all the time or do what you want!", because that is not what I want.

 

I want to have someone who just gets me and may give me a new perspective or spark discussions on the things that I think about daily.

Someone that I can care for and that cares for me in time when there is noone else that does. Or atleast not to that extent.

 

I was reading a lot yesterday and today and have been in contact with mulitple Tulpamancers and wanted to get in touch with more of you awesome and interesting people to get a better view on this whole thing.

 

I am very pleased to have found this subject and am very motivated to find out more and even create my own Tulpa in time ^^

 

btw you can call me Taco or TacocaT

thx for being here :D

[Vampire]

Welcome to the forums!

 

If you are looking for more people to talk to try out the IRC Chat. One of our system is usually in there.

 

Hope you find what you are looking for and stick around.

[Maxi]

Hello, my name is Max.

 

My og forum name was idontknowwhatisgoingon however I could not change the name anymore after that so i decided t omake a new account. You can delete that account if you wish :P.

 

Anyways I'm on day 3 since creating my tulpa and things seem to be going fine.

 

Can't wait to progress more with her!

[Two-tailed-tulpa]

Nice to meet ya! I honestly don't have much to say, too early in the day other than good luck!

[DJWalnut]

Hello everyone!

 

we've been active on reddit's /r/tulpas for about a year now, and I thought it would be nice to broaden out into the other tulpa communities of the internet.

 

There are two of us in our system. me, the host, speaking now, and Fajro, our system's only Tulpa. We celebrate her birthday as March 7, 2016, the day that she had her first confirmed act of sentience. thus far, she's only sporadically vocal and we can on occasion carry out short conversations where she is  autonomous from me and not being parroted. we have a happy relationship together with mutual love and respect. we have no plans to expand our system at this time.

 

we're looking forward to being a member of the tulpa.info forums.

[Vampire]

Welcome to the forums! Nice to see you here.

 

I hope we can help you make more progress.