And with such passion as to chronicle one little mirror of myself in Vast

[Redline]

So, let me start with this-

Don't meet your heroes, and don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

 

I've downloaded all 14 seasons (plus the added specials) for Good Eats, hosted by Alton Brown. I idolized this man. At a point where my grandmother couldn't answer what was going on in her cooking in words I was able to use, thanks to chemistry classes, he was there. At points where I felt like there had to be something more to why this is doing what it does, he was there. Alton Brown was my Superman in an age of Lex Luthor's iron-fisted reign. However, Alton Brown is racist, and a homophobe.

 

Keep in mind, these are all without concrete evidence and just speculation, but so is a lot of what tulpaforcing is in the beginning. It takes faith and research. So I began to look around and see if there was anything I might find that said the contrary, and all I found was a bunch of info that said that his Good Eats persona was a farce. In person and on every other show, A. Brown was an asshole. It was like being a pirate looking for treasure and finding a something century's chamber pot full of fossilized shit. I didn't like any of this, but another part of me found other uses for the information- selling it to history buffs, or rather, just moving on.

 

Fox asked me why. I kept watching the episode I was on after that and I didn't see it anymore. The magic he had was gone. He wasn't some supergenius, some mad man bent on showing the world that food was a science and beautiful, he was just some guy talking about food. I was starving at 3 in the morning and I didn't even want to think about food. I finished up that episode and Fox asked me why I even decided to finish it. I could have just turned it off and went to bed, but I wanted to finish it. I figure I've gotten old enough to know that you should at least finish what you started.

 

So we got into a back and forth and she eventually asked me how I felt, and losing a hero fucking sucks. But she was there to just sop up the mess my now deflating hope was and throw it into a baking pan for an oven on 400. She just pestered me until I got to the nitty gritty of the matter and then asked me if I wanted to make an Alton Brown mindbuddy of my very own, someone to idolize. I told her no, because that was wrong- I didn't want someone to idolize, I wanted my childhood back. I didn't want to have wasted it on someone who wouldn't have saw me the same way I saw them, just like I did to someone before.

I'm sorry about that, if you're reading this.

 

After that, I decided I would save Good Eats for another time. It's 6 in the morning, and I'm about to make flourless pancakes with 1 banana and 2 eggs, so I can cook some bacon and try to sop up the rest of my fucking morning without a Superman. I'm too old to feel this bad at this, and I already know what will fix it: cooking with someone I know won't turn out any other way but how I imagined her. Good morning, .info. How was last night for you?

 

---

One thing I feel is important to note is the fact that after sweet talking me out of the little depression I went into, she insulted me. I asked her why it felt so bad, and she told me it was because I was a fucking idiot. I was a 'worthless cunt who invested his time in some bastard who won't give it back, and who is dead to you now.' I just smiled and told her she was the worthless cunt, and we laughed a bit.

[sushi]

I'm a little conflicted here. On the one hand, I see where you're coming from, and I've been there myself. On the other hand, this is a tulpa community, where we value the things that aren't objectively real.

 

So Alton Brown is an asshole outside the show. Fine. Don't give him any money. But why not see his on-screen persona as a tulpa? Maybe it's not sentient, maybe not independent, but it is effectively a different personality guiding the body, right?

 

Actors, writers, and roleplayers develop tulpas by accident because they spend so much time acting out what these characters would do. When voice actor Mel Blanc was in a coma, and wouldn't respond to his wife and son calling out to him, one of the doctors called out to Bugs Bunny instead -- and through the mouth of Mel Blanc, Bugs Bunny responded.

 

Alton Brown's on-screen persona doesn't have a name, is never treated like an independent entity, and won't save his life if he's in a coma. But in a way, it's a proto-tulpa. If it allows you to enjoy something you want to enjoy, why not see it that way?

[SakuraSky]

That bugs bunny thing is fascinating! The brain really is amazing

[Redline]

Well, let's start with the basics. I took a weeklong trip to Nebraska for a family reunion and attempted to force Fox more while I was out there. It didn't work out so well. I could only really focus if I had music in or was left alone, which didn't happen very often. Even then, I had my head in a notebook, writing a lot of the time and hoping to work out some math.

 

However, we did come across some things to note.

 

Fox insults me and gets me ready for life. Thanks to her, I can let quite a few things just wash over me now, and I've learned a few new things to say. It's also a coping mechanism, where she'll use it just to get me to realize the truth of my problems, like berating me for walking away from the family or telling me I need to listen to them more often. The insults get rather scathing after a while, but what am j going to do? I can't stop her.

 

Second, she will throw on some new outfits in the blink of an eye. I noted a twelve year old girl at Wal-Mart brilliantly throwing some terrible words at her brother, just like Fox, and Fox built herself a twelve year old form...just to insult me with the word pedophile. Let it be known I do not find that appealing, or condone said actions. She's just a bitch. K explained to her my love for graffiti as we drove through St. Louis of Missouri, and she threw on a Jet Set outfit in a snap.

 

Third, she's become a mainstay faster than I thought. I can hear her sing along a few seconds in a chorus, and she likes to style her hair as I do mine in the mornings. Pretty soon she'll be a year old, and that's a grand thought.

[glitchthe3rd]

Well, tell her I said happy almost birthday. :)

[Redline]

So December and I decided to play Five Nights at Freddy's.

Or rather, I played it for 16 minutes and she understood why I can't play it anymore.

 

I just...I think I'll have her fight those things. There can be nothing worse than what I had to face on that damn game.

[Redline]

Once more, I awaken and spread my news like the stardust off the wings of a moth.

 

She's December now, long story short story. She got rid of a corporeal form and now she just soaks up in the shadows.

[Rootbeer128]

So December and I decided to play Five Nights at Freddy's.

Or rather, I played it for 16 minutes and she understood why I can't play it anymore.

 

I just...I think I'll have her fight those things. There can be nothing worse than what I had to face on that damn game.

 

Ha, Sim and I have been playing a little bit of that. First night was okay. 2nd night... The door jammed when I saw Bonnie, and we both freaked out. I quit in a panic. Almost won my second attempt except Foxy showed up, and we haven't played it since.

 

[i don't like it. too scary, "fun" though.]

[Redline]

So it appears that I've been neglecting my forcing thanks to a bigger push from friends. She's been okay with it for the most part, but I still feel like shit for doing this. Tips?

[Rootbeer128]

So it appears that I've been neglecting my forcing thanks to a bigger push from friends. She's been okay with it for the most part, but I still feel like shit for doing this. Tips?

 

Thank you for posting; we'll try to help out how we can... Keep passively forcing with her throughout the day, whenever you can. You don't have to let anyone know you're still forcing with your tulpa. Talk to her throughout the day, whenever you have a spare moment, ask her opinion on things, etc...

 

I did a lot of active forcing at first, but due to a certain problem arising, I've been unable to visualize very well for a while. I've still passively forced, whenever I can, and I'm working on getting the problem resolved.

 

Just keep forcing passively, and actively force if you can afford the time. If not, then that's fine; many tulpa have turned out fine without active forcing. I've heard that after a certain point, tulpa no longer need active forcing to stay alive.