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Lately, I'm having a lot of experiences where I wake up but I can't control my body no matter how hard I try. I feel myself moving, but I'm not actually moving my physical body at all. It's the strangest thing. I'm wondering if I can use this in favor to switching. It takes all of my mental willpower to be able to disconnect from this "void" and connect to my body's senses and be able to move my body. Even then, it felt EXTREMELY tolling to just move my hand a few inches. I'll have to see if next time I can get Bithore to take control of my body while I remain in the state of just floating around in my own mind.

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Back from the dead.

 

I've been really busy with life for the past few months and then I wound up quitting my job since I literally couldn't handle it with my OCD being extremely overwhelming tied in with anxiety and everything else, it just wasn't for me.

 

We really haven't made much progress in regards to switching between me and Bithore, but Ryuk wants to try to get into possession, so we're going to work on that on the side. It shouldn't be that difficult this time around, we'll see what happens.

 

Trying to get back in touch with some of the people from the tulpa community that I actually care about but it's not really going so well.

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Today is the first time EVER that I've seen Bithore get GENUINELY angry at something. I can feel his emotions bleeding into mine, and it's causing me severe anxiety. He just left me to go into the wonderland to cool off for a while, but GEEZ that emotional feeling was so INTENSE. The most negative emotion that I've ever seen him feel was just sheer disappointment, and that's just sheer disappointment with me when I do something wrong on purpose.

 

I just figured it was worth documenting, as I've never seen someone NOT get angry in 5 years' time (He'll be 5 years old soon).

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Oof, must have been something serious then.


I'm Indigo Blue, the "Sky Dragon" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa born October 2017. My systemmates are Radio, Apollo, & Piano. Form images: 1 2

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Today is Bithore's 5th birthday! We had a little birthday party really early in the morning, but for the real highlight, our friend Inks made Bithore a birthday card! It made him really excited and happy like I haven't seen him in a really long time. Here it is: https://i.imgur.com/qX9EzvO.jpg

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Happy birthday, Bithore. Cute picture.


Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Happy birthday, Bithore. Cute picture.

 

Bithore: Thank you very much! Host isn't feeling well or we'd be celebrating more by now, but hopefully he gets better within the next few weeks from the nature of the illness.

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Trying to get in possession practice whilst still being sick for the past month, is not going so well. As per usual, I feel like my understanding of possession isn't proper to what it actually is, which is why I've been asking for second opinions from several people. I always figured like it would feel foreign for good, not just at the start, but it's felt like completely natural, as if I'm doing it, for the longest time. It makes me worry and I ask Bithore like constantly if it's still him in control and he'll jokingly go either way so I can't really tell, and then I wind up restarting from square one starting with fingers and he gets frustrated because I keep doubting our progression going so fast. The biggest roadblock other than that, is that he can't seem to use the vocal cords to speak or make any sound in general, unless he laughs. We've been combing over past resources that we've used for possession, and none really mention vocal possession at all. Not really anyone else knows how to describe working towards being on top of vocal possession, so we're just taking shots in the dark at this point, and we're not making any progress on it. Everything else feels totally normal, besides me noticing a few different mannerisms that he has that I don't have.

 

Other than the definition of "possession" seeming different from how we originally learned back in 2013, the same goes for switching, imposition, and a lot of other terms in tulpamancy. It's so hard to keep track of all the changes, or if they're even relevant.

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I'm still sick with a lower respiratory tract infection, so I haven't wanted to try possession/switching the past week or two. My hearing is all messed up. The big problem, is that I still cannot tell how possession is supposed to feel, even after all these years. For me, starting out felt totally foreign, and now it feels as if I'm moving myself, but I'm not... but people say it's supposed to be the other way around, and I hear it both ways and it throws me off. I'm not sure if I should restart again, or if I should really just stop trying if I'm going to be so petty and worry about it this much.

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