Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

[Luminesce]

I mean, I have attempted to play multiple songs (Reisen's theme is way too advanced for me, and was my goal), including classic Wario Land and Zelda songs. And I "learned to play" a few, as in do some repetitive slightly alternating patterns with one-or-the-other hand. But I was never able to combine them. (I managed to play a tiny bit of Nayru's theme by literally teaching myself to hit each of 8 keys at the same time in a specific pattern, but it was far from dual-processing)

 

Anyway, I gave it up because I knew it wasn't something I wanted to do enough to spend the time getting good at it. Same as drawing, but not dancing. Dancing is fun regardless of only being able to do it in five minute intervals.

[Guest Anonymous]

bleh

 

Man, you gotta find a starting point

Nobody can really just play the piano right away, any song unless you're a prodigy

It took me about 4 years to play liebstraum, just don't give up

 

it really is a test of faith to yourself.

[sushi]

NOTE: I CAN'T FIND WHERE THE DAMN ITALICS INCONSISTENCY IS WITHIN THIS POST SO YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH A POST THAT IS IN ALL ITALICS UNTIL I FIND IT. SORRRRYYYYY

 

Hard to tell as I'm not looking at the code, but it seems to start before the first Actinium quote.

[Cinemaphobe]

@Reisen

 

Well you see.. that's why I don't understand in the first place. I'm not very right-brained. I enjoy music(understatement) but gave up piano because I couldn't play with two hands at once (believe me, I tried many ways) and, recently, watched a "speedpaint" of someone drawing Reisen and.. experienced something akin to shock. Reality itself came into existence before me...

 

That's an interesting experience, but I'm sure you know that left-brained people can still develop a good right hemisphere. Sure it's an extreme struggle to go from being creative to logical, but when you blend the two together, you get pure genius. I'm naturally more creative than I am logical, but through a lot of studying and a kind of mental re-wiring I have developed a more logical thought process. When I play the piano not only can I create songs on the spot, but I can also spot complex patterns while I'm learning classical music and use my creativity to incorporate those patterns into my own music in a unique way.

 

Anyway. Your wonderlanding sounds like a slice of life anime with an overarching deeper plot. Lillium is quite a character. (As are you by the way, in case you've forgotten. Something about you attracts a lot of attention..)

 

My wonderlanding does sound like a 'slice of life anime' (perfect analogy). What's even better is that every trip to my wonderland strengthens my visualization.

 

By the way something about me has always attracted attention. But I can't really do anything about it. I have tried to act like a normal human being to fit in before but it's like running against the wind.

 

@Sushi-cakes

 

Hard to tell as I'm not looking at the code, but it seems to start before the first Actinium quote.

 

Thank you Sushi, and it will be very convenient to know that I can turn to you for future occurrences like this lol

 

 

 

Day 171

 

 

 

If you are wondering why I haven't been posting that much lately, then I'll erase your little wonders right now:

 

I'm getting a second job soon and I died in a horrific car crash.

 

In other news, some extreme visualization progress has been made, and I have absolutely no idea how the hell I did it, but it was like a lucid dream. I was extremely tired due to the fact that I had a little mental breakdown--

 

Oh wait. I didn't mention that! Lovely!

 

I didn't have any trouble learning any Trigonometry concepts or Pre-Calculus concepts, but when I finally reached a concept I couldn't understand, I became blisteringly angry. Both at the author of the book and myself. Everything was a breeze until I reached the Calculus concept "Limits". I was so tired, and I ran out of fruits and vegetables so I had to resort to junkfood which drastically inhibited my cognitive ability even further. I became so angry about not understanding the concept that I asked Yumi for help only to find that she was as confused as I was (What a surprise). I eventually concluded that the author might have phrased his paragraph incorrectly and researched limits online. It turned out that the author's mathematics were right, but I still couldn't understand why he phrased his paragraph the way he did, which caused me to obsess even further. I could barely sleep, and while I drifted off, his wording echoed through my head.

 

 

When I woke up I drove to work extremely early so that I would have an hour to study his wording in my car. I was no longer sleepy, so I was confident that I was at my prime again. I reread his paragraph and immediately felt like an idiot... The entire problem arose because I overanalyzed his wording...I made something simple much more complicated than it had to be. Yumi facepalmed herself hard and we both laughed maniacally in my car. So now I'm sane again! Well...relatively sane...

 

But let's get back on topic; I was extremely tired, and I visited the wonderland. This time it became so real that I actually experienced physical hallucinations, yet I could still feel my body in reality...I'm an old lucid dream veteran but I haven't experienced anything like that before. It was like a blend between a daydream, a wonderland experience, and a lucid dream. I think the chances of that happening again are microscopic. It would be very pleasant if it happened again, but I won't count on it. And yes, I have tried auto-suggestion to lucid dream, but I'm having no success due to well...not doing it enough lol.

 

Lately Lillium hasn't said anything because I haven't visited her in the wonderland, but she is still flying around in space with her angel wings and smiling which is a good sign. I haven't visited her because I was too busy getting angry at myself for overanalyzing something so simple and consequently wasting so much valuable time. I will never study while I'm drowsy ever again, nor will I consume that solidified cesspool of junkfood ever again.

 

 

 

 

Final Note

 

 

I'm getting a second job soon, so I will work 60-70 hours a week + the amount of time I'll study per week (for the ACT and SAT exams).... My time with Yumi and Lillium will be greatly affected, but in order to adapt to the new schedule I'll have to be more serious about my hour count, and I'll have to start passive forcing again. I think I just about transcended my ADHD thanks to how much I practiced concentrating, so it's time to start forcing outside of the wonderland again just like I did in the good ole' days. I'm warning you guys because I may have to post in two-day intervals in the future... it's gonna suck. But don't worry, I won't ditch my PR like most people do when they get too busy. In fact, I won't ditch my PR until Yumi is fully imposed, and is as real to me as any other human! But even then I think I would still continue my PR, or at least stay active on this site to help other people on their journey's :3

 

My closing question is this:

 

Is your schedule extremely busy? If so, how do you make time for tulpaforcing? If you actually do make time of course.

 

 

This is the stupid thing I couldn't understand thanks to sleep-deprivation and a poor diet...

 

 

[ReisOtherHalf]

but when I finally reached a concept I couldn't understand, I became blisteringly angry.

This, so much this. For me, it was derivatives, and it didn't make sense until we were watching baseball, and Rei, out of the blue, asked something like 'how fast is the ball falling?'

[Darcmanish]

Wow i would have been dead already with your schedule i do respect you for this. I have the possibility to work less then 30 hours each week and i still want to reduce the worktime so i get more time for meditating and beeing creative to drawing and music. Work sucks and a tulpa is much more amazing and if i dont hunger or stand outside while its raining i dont need to get more money anyway.

 

Your schedule looks like a lot of stress. It couldn´t do it for 2 weeks without getting mad but if you´re able to do it for a long time you seem like a workaholic for me^^.

Good luck for the path you´ve chosen.

[Luminesce]

I'm getting a second job soon and I died in a horrific car crash.

 

Oh. Rest in peace, hope you have better luck in the future.

 

I'm getting a second job soon, so I will work 60-70 hours a week + the amount of time I'll study per week (for the ACT and SAT exams)....

 

Gotta be honest, I took the ACT as someone who 1, failed most required high school classes at some point due to my inability to apply effort, and 2, took the ACT with literally 12 hours' notice, and I think my average score was 29. I got something like a 31, 30, 28 and 26. If you understand even basic calculus(lack thereof being the reason for my lowest score) you'll be absolutely fine, just keep track of your time. Pacing is more important than most else.

 

Is your schedule extremely busy? If so, how do you make time for tulpaforcing? If you actually do make time of course.

 

Well, my schedule is extremely busy. I currently only have two college courses of which neither I go to more than twice a month and do work for at best once a few hours every week. And I'm caught up on all ~2,600 episodes of the Game Grumps. And I think I have over 100 hours on Warframe in the last two weeks.

 

No, I don't make time for tulpaforcing. I'm trying though. Coincidentally we had a great time in the wonderland dancing to some new music on the night of the full moon, without me even knowing (consciously) that it was a full moon. Can't miss the full moon celebration. But as for actual tulpaforcing, much like learning to dance/play piano/Japanese/lucid dream, my crippling motivation issues are still a problem. Though everyone has the same problem, to an extent. It can be overcome... Usually by attempting to make some sort of schedule... I'm working on it.

[Cinemaphobe]

@ReisOtherHalf

 

 

This, so much this. For me, it was derivatives, and it didn't make sense until we were watching baseball, and Rei, out of the blue, asked something like 'how fast is the ball falling?'

 

Derivatives was much easier for me....

 

 

@Darchmanish

 

 

Wow i would have been dead already with your schedule i do respect you for this. I have the possibility to work less then 30 hours each week and i still want to reduce the worktime so i get more time for meditating and beeing creative to drawing and music. Work sucks and a tulpa is much more amazing and if i dont hunger or stand outside while its raining i dont need to get more money anyway.

 

Your schedule looks like a lot of stress. It couldn´t do it for 2 weeks without getting mad but if you´re able to do it for a long time you seem like a workaholic for me^^.

Good luck for the path you´ve chosen.

 

@Reisen-cakes

 

 

Oh. Rest in peace, hope you have better luck in the future.

 

My hypersensitive sense of humor made that statement the most humorous thing in the world.

 

 

Gotta be honest, I took the ACT as someone who 1, failed most required high school classes at some point due to my inability to apply effort, and 2, took the ACT with literally 12 hours' notice, and I think my average score was 29. I got something like a 31, 30, 28 and 26. If you understand even basic calculus(lack thereof being the reason for my lowest score) you'll be absolutely fine, just keep track of your time. Pacing is more important than most else.

 

Thank you for the advice, and I hope to get a score like yours for the ACT. But I my ultimate goal is to get the highest possible score, or at least get close to it.

 

 

 

Well, my schedule is extremely busy. I currently only have two college courses of which neither I go to more than twice a month and do work for at best once a few hours every week. And I'm caught up on all ~2,600 episodes of the Game Grumps. And I think I have over 100 hours on Warframe in the last two weeks.

 

I'm going to write a friendly "Jesus Christ." now lol.

 

 

No, I don't make time for tulpaforcing. I'm trying though. Coincidentally we had a great time in the wonderland dancing to some new music on the night of the full moon, without me even knowing (consciously) that it was a full moon. Can't miss the full moon celebration. But as for actual tulpaforcing, much like learning to dance/play piano/Japanese/lucid dream, my crippling motivation issues are still a problem. Though everyone has the same problem, to an extent. It can be overcome... Usually by attempting to make some sort of schedule... I'm working on it.

 

 

Aye...we both be workin' on it lad.

In the same sense that rules are made to be broken, so are schedules, and I'm quite sure you know what I'm talking about.

 

 

 

Day 172

 

 

 

 

Yumi and I have been having problems again because I'm not dedicating much time with her in comparison to my work and studies... Which brings me to question my decision of getting a second job. First of all, when people get two part-time jobs it's usually because they have no intentions of going to college. When people go to college, they usually get one part time job to make paying for books and other college expenses easier.

 

I have never heard of a human being who can balance majoring in physics with two hellacious part-time jobs. But then again even if such a human did exist, (god have mercy on their soul) the odds of them having two tulpas would be extremely slim. Is it possible to balance so many things and stay sane? I don't want to be the one to find out. I don't necessarily need two jobs, as it would be more of a painful luxury (hehe oxymoron) than a real benefit. I would make more money, but my grades and performance in college would suffer for it. What point is having a pocket full of cash if I don't have any time for Yumi, Lillium, myself, or my studies I'm so passionate about?

 

However, if I don't have two jobs, I'll have empty pockets, which will be bad if I can't get scholarships, help from the government, or help from my grandparents. My grandparents said that they have saved money for me since I was born, but they haven't mentioned their little fund in a long time. They probably spent it for themselves or something. They usually do stuff like that--this assumption is not irrational.

 

With all of that said, I decided that I will not get a second job.

 

Getting the second job temporarily before college starts is not an option either. I still need my spare time for studying and tulpaforcing... Thankfully 'friends' aren't a factor in all of this. Or else I'd really be in trouble. The only 'friends' I have in RL are the people I view as beneficial to be associated with. In fact, my opportunity for a second job was offered to me from somebody at work whom I secretly hate and happens to view me as a 'friend'. If I ever had the opportunity to meet a replica myself, I wouldn't want to be friends with him. The other version of me would study me like a predator studies their prey before they pounce, and he would smile innocently while doing so...

He would look like a friend, but in reality he would go through the motions to avoid being spotted...He would manipulate me and lead me to my downfall without ever making contact.

 

 

 

Perhaps I'm disclosing this information because I feel some degree of remorse for essentially using people? I don't know, but I have no need to be two-faced on a forum so thankfully I don't have to act here. I actually consider you guys to be my real friends, and I talk to you guys more than I talk to my best friend Voltaire. NOTE: I speak to Yumi more than anyone else.

She figured out how to send funny videos into my stream of consciousness to make me laugh during work, and she does still give me good advice when I need it :3

Today I was talking to her about how hard I was working and the conversation went like this:

 

 

This is the fastest I can work while maintaining efficiency. I have reached my limit...

Maybe there is only a limit when you create one.

But I really can't surpass my current speed...

That's what I'm talking about. When you used to help people, you told them not to use words like "can't", because of their limiting effect. You should follow your own teachings.

You are right...Okay Yumi.

 

 

So now I'm going to spend time with her. All of this "Yumi this." and "Yumi that." is making me want to visit her in the wonderland :3. Hopefully it turns into that weird lucid dream/daydream hybrid again! :D

Tomorrow I'm going to go to drive to a library with her, or maybe even my old childhood neighborhood that i haven't seen in 5 years :D

 

 

Until next time dear readers.

[Luminesce]

Well, on the topic of going to college and inhuman time-balancing, I think this is another appropriate time to link to Steve Pavlina. He has a nice article called 10 tips for college students, which is probably a good read because he also graduated with 2 degrees in 3 semesters. You might remember me idolizing this guy from some time ago, and this is just one of infinite reasons for doing so.

 

I think you read a few of his articles, never to return to his site afterward? Well, here's try #2 at sparking your interest... Not to take away more of your time but.. Well, he has stuff on time management so it's a worthwhile investment. I think you'd like him. I mean, you like me, and I became the person I am with his guidance.

[TheSanctuary]

Until next time on Dragon Ball Z!!!!

 

Couldn't help but think that when I read the closing point - and I get what you mean about not having to lie or be overly worried about peoples preconceptions on the internets. It's a weird place where the strangest and perhaps most socially unlikely friendships find each other- people that perhaps we would walk past in our real world lives, people that had we conversed with perhaps wouldn't have realised the kinship shared due to social barriers and interactions, however in the abrasive world of the internet it's often different.