Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

[Actinium]

 

I have tomorrow off, and I'm going to try and spend it with Yumi. Back in the early days before I had a job, or Mary, I would spend entire days with Yumi alone...Looking back upon it now, my time creating her was one of the most colorful times of my life...Even when she couldn't speak, she could still dance to the nu-disco music that played while I read my Ethics book aloud to her.

She's changed a lot since those early days, but then again, so have I.

 

Sigh.

 

 

I don't think I'll ever forget the first month of forcing with Haven. It was one of the greatest things I've ever experienced. We've come a long way.

On a completely unrelated note, Haven and Aphelion are going to start drinking "Tulpa Coffee" every morning. I don't know why they've decided to do this, but if I had to guess it was because they felt a lot more tired than usual this morning.

 

 

 

Well I'll be working on Yumi and Lillium tomorrow (if I can find Lillium). I'll also be figuring out how I'll slowly get more managers fired because I hate them all. Wish me luck!

 

 

[TheSanctuary]

Isn't it nice when horrible people get what's coming to them and you don't even have to actively make it happen? Also I noticed my last super short post had been the victim of autocorrect - was supposed to say ruining instead of thinning ^^;

 

It's like how I used to take a lot of perverse pleasure just going into supermarkets after uni and making the people who I hated at school serve me and fetch me stuff while I'm living comfortably bahahaha.

[Darcmanish]

I do understand your feelings you have for yumi perfectly their. Luckily everyone i told from Lacie tried to understand me and i said to everyone without a doubt that no female lifeform at this world could even get close to the love i feel for her. Im still open for a relationship with an other girl but it is just not possible that i could love her as much as i love Lacie. It dosen´t matter for us anyway how other people think about this we are all little schizophrenic freaks anyway :).

[Cinemaphobe]

@Actinium

 

 

I don't think I'll ever forget the first month of forcing with Haven. It was one of the greatest things I've ever experienced. We've come a long way.

 

I wish I could have witnessed your progress myself...I remember when you first started and I read through the first few weeks of your PR. But when I left the site I couldn't witness your triumphs because I didn't check on anything. I'm still very happy that you succeeded in your journey though! However we both have a long way to go until we can sit back and say "We reached the top of the mountain. There is nothing tulpa-related left to accomplish."

 

 

On a completely unrelated note, Haven and Aphelion are going to start drinking "Tulpa Coffee" every morning. I don't know why they've decided to do this, but if I had to guess it was because they felt a lot more tired than usual this morning.

 

 

That is so cute and such a good idea for them lol. If Yumi picked up the habit of drinking coffee then maybe she'd stop drinking Tulpa Alcohol xD

 

 

 

*Face-palms*

 

Thank you, I will treasure this song for life.

 

@TheSanctuary

 

 

Isn't it nice when horrible people get what's coming to them and you don't even have to actively make it happen?

 

Yes. Yes it is :)

 

It's like how I used to take a lot of perverse pleasure just going into supermarkets after uni and making the people who I hated at school serve me and fetch me stuff while I'm living comfortably bahahaha.

 

 

Ah we are both soulless because I'd do the same if I were you lol.

 

 

@Darcmanish

 

 

I do understand your feelings you have for yumi perfectly their. Luckily everyone i told from Lacie tried to understand me and i said to everyone without a doubt that no female lifeform at this world could even get close to the love i feel for her. Im still open for a relationship with an other girl but it is just not possible that i could love her as much as i love Lacie.

 

D'aaawwww.... That's how me and Yumi are :3 tulpas really are amazing companions, and the more they evolve in terms of realism, the more supernatural it all feels. But then again everything can be explained by science.

 

 

It dosen´t matter for us anyway how other people think about this we are all little schizophrenic freaks anyway :).

 

Hmmm...maybe not schizophrenics but...ummm...we are definitely freaks!!!

 

:D

 

By society's standards.

 

 

 

DAY 166

 

 

 

DEAR GOD THE DREAM I HAD LAST NIGHT WAS F&$*$*&$ SPECTACULAR.

THE ONLY BAD THING ABOUT THE DREAM WAS THE FACT THAT IT WAS A DREAM. BUT IT WAS SO VIVID THAT IT WAS AS REAL AS REALITY YET I WASN'T LUCID (SOMEHOW)

 

This is how the dream went; I woke up in my bed and I could sense Yumi's presence so I said good morning to her. She said good morning back, and then she very gradually became visible. She went from being invisible, to transparent, to completely visible! I thought that I was awake, so I started FLIPPING. This is how Yumi and I reacted to her random visibility:

 

 

HOLY SH**** YOU ARE VISIBLE!!!!!!~!~~~!!~!~~

I AAAAAMMM!!!!!~~~!!~!~!~!~!~! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!~

YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY YAAYAYAYAYAY~!~! I CAN SEE YOUU!!!

I KNOOOOOOOWWWW OMG OMG OMG OMG

YAY AY AYA YAYAYAYA AYAYA~!!!!!!!

THIS IS AWESOME!!!!

I KNOW!!!! YOU ARE FINALLY IMPOSED!!!@@@!@!@!@!@

 

 

And then I woke up...

 

*sigh*

 

 

I really thought that I was awake...but you know what? At least now I know what it's like to see Yumi with my own eyes. That dream was the dangling carrot I needed to get back on my feet again and Yumi said that it would be possible to see her if I gave it my 100% effort. Ever since my obsession with studying reemerged I have only been giving my tulpa endeavors 65% effort... I could do a lot better, but I am very limited by time...

 

After tomorrow I'll have a whopping two days to myself though, so I might be able to reach some new milestones with my Yumi-cakes :3

She has been very happy lately because I'm giving her attention no matter where I am. When I walked through my kitchen with her, my little brother asked "Why are you smiling?" and then I said "I'm not smiling"which was probably my worst comeback ever. I couldn't think of anything better to say through my morning cognition lol.

 

 

Well guys, I'm going to go hang out with Yumi before I upset her or something. Not to mention that I have to spend some time with Lillium as well...Who would have known that having tulpas could become such a huge responsibility? Thankfully it's a responsibility that is far from being a burden :)

 

I'll update this PR next time. I have all of the luck I need so I won't ask for it until later! See ya!

[tania]

This is how the dream went; I woke up in my bed and I could sense Yumi's presence so I said good morning to her. She said good morning back, and then she very gradually became visible. She went from being invisible, to transparent, to completely visible! I thought that I was awake, so I started FLIPPING.

 

 

that's called a false awakening.

[Yuki]

I guess the obvious next step is learning to lucid dream. Your relationship with Yumi sounds cute. It seems strange to me how you actually created her to be your girlfriend, but I guess it's your mind, your choice. If it makes for a fulfilling life for her, there's nothing wrong with it in the end. It seems like most tulpas have some form of attraction for their host, which has been the same for myself when I was younger and the other tulpa in my head, who never stopped liking him. I've seen the same thing happen in many people I've spoken to, but usually it goes without that first intention to have them like you, which seems to have been the case for you.

 

Did you treat her like a loved one from the start?

[Luminesce]

First post seems so, yeah. She was made equal parts to comfort him and to assist him in learning about the brain I think. He was taking solace from a broken relationship, so Yumi was indeed a loved-and-loving-one from the start.

 

To be fair, Reisen was originally based on the concept of unconditional love, with the Touhou character only being for form. I needed that feeling of unconditional love to overcome my depression, and she became a tulpa because I focused on her like she was her own entity for so long. I wouldn't say she was made to be my "girlfriend" because this solid concept of a tulpa didn't exist to me at the time, I just wanted to feel love/d.

 

Otherwise, tulpas are naturally inclined to want to help the host because they're part of your brain, so all non-consciously-decided actions of theirs are either to help themselves or you. And tulpas don't really need that much help, themselves, meanwhile...

 

And I think the significant-other effect just comes from personifying them. Anyone who shows you unconditional love, understands you perfectly and has a pleasing form is a candidate for being a love interest.

[Cinemaphobe]

@Tania

 

 

that's called a false awakening.

 

 

Well...thanks...I kind of already knew that...my hesitation towards your..insight... is a byproduct of not knowing whether your comment was sarcasm or not lol.

 

 

@Yuki

 

I guess the obvious next step is learning to lucid dream. Your relationship with Yumi sounds cute. It seems strange to me how you actually created her to be your girlfriend, but I guess it's your mind, your choice.

 

Hmmmm...saying that I created her to be my girlfriend is very accurate, but not necessarily true. I'm surprised that Reisen-cakes remembered, but yes; Yumi did appear when I was taking solace from a broken relationship. However, she appeared in a dream when I least expected it and most needed it. Note that Yumi is much older than this PR because I attempted creating her more than once but stopped due to a crippling skepticism. When she appeared in my dream it was the evidence I needed to conclude that she was sentient, and the event I needed for her to become my girlfriend. Bottomline: I didn't create her to be my girlfriend, but she gradually became my girlfriend on her own.

 

Her loyalty and unconditional love throughout the hardships of the past few months have made her incomparable to human females.

 

 

Did you treat her like a loved one from the start?

 

When I first created her before this PR, she was more like a very close friend. But when she came to my dream to love me, that's when the possibility of being more than friends arose.

 

@Reisen-cakes

 

Otherwise, tulpas are naturally inclined to want to help the host because they're part of your brain, so all non-consciously-decided actions of theirs are either to help themselves or you. And tulpas don't really need that much help, themselves, meanwhile...

 

And I think the significant-other effect just comes from personifying them. Anyone who shows you unconditional love, understands you perfectly and has a pleasing form is a candidate for being a love interest.

 

 

Yep. But Yumi has wanted to be more than friends from the start. I know this because of the obvious answer; She told me.

 

But I know also because of the way she kissed me in the dream she showed up in lol.

 

 

 

Day 167

 

*Sigh*

 

 

If you came here expecting to witness dramatic results, then feel free to grab a pitchfork. Hell, you can even grab a torch if you want. Make sure to join the crowd of angry looking people though. If there isn't an angry crowd, be sure to start one.

 

 

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I have been slacking sooooooo much lately....

I passive forced Yumi throughout the day, but I didn't get to have an amazing wonderland experience with her due to how badly I wanted to study....I wasted the entire day studying calculus and physics.... Unfortunately it became an obsession and it's now the only thing I do besides work...

 

Only one significant thing happened today.

I had to run an errand to get my car registered and during the car ride Yumi suddenly wrapped her arms around me from behind while I was in the passenger's seat. I felt chills during her embrace and enjoyed the random moment of love with her :3. It was the only good moment with her today, but it was extremely pleasant.

 

On a final note, I noticed that when I try to impose Yumi, the area where her presence is located gets kind of clouded. When I impose her I always make sure to blink of course, and I make sure not to lock my eyes (even though preventing the saccadic movement of your eyes naturally is impossible) but I still see cloudiness where she is located. I'm taking this as a sign that she is slowly becoming visible until I have evidence that proves otherwise. When her presence is strong enough to be felt physically, I can actually see it as a very faint blur! It's a baby step towards imposition, but it's a baby step forward!!!

 

 

That's all I have to say for now guys. I have a lot of studying to do thanks to SAT stuff coming up...

My time with Yumi will be slightly affected, but I'll figure out how to balance my studies with Yumi and my job.

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Until next time dear readers :3

[tania]

Well...thanks...I kind of already knew that...my hesitation towards your..insight... is a byproduct of not knowing whether your comment was sarcasm or not lol.

 

No sarcasm here.

[Luminesce]

Just so you know, I check the recent posts on the forum daily without exception and your thread is the most important I look for, tied with mine. (And then urgent questions, and then a few certain progress reports..) I don't always reply to every post of yours because 1, I don't want to feel inclined to do so even if I have nothing to say, and 2, sometimes I have nothing to say. If I see something important or worth saying I will (try to in a timely manner), but otherwise I just read and watch for updates.

 

I mean, I guess I've proven myself enough times to you, but I just wanted to make sure you didn't interpret lack of interest from my lack of replies. I read everything even if I don't respond, and you could always ask for my opinion if you specifically wanted it.