Taking care of your tulpas when you're depressed

[Carnivorous M.]

Or otherwise have episodes where you simply don't have the mental/physical /emotional resources to take care of your tulpa. I don't mean 'busy a lot,' or 'bored,' or things like that; I mean you can barely drag yourself out of bed in the morning or acknowledge your tulpa's existence, much less give them attention and force with them. Especially since they're in your mind, and I know my mind usually feels utterly dull and flat and robotic and dead during depressive episodes. It doesn't just apply to depression, either; you might be taking new medication that's really screwing with you, for example.

 

Basically, you want your tulpa and you want to keep forcing, but you're worried about neglecting them under circumstances you can't control for days or weeks at a time. I ask because I've been feeling depression creeping up on me for the last couple days, and I'm worried about my tuppers: what are some things that might be done in cases like this?

 

(Obviously getting help for the illness helps and is highly important, but there are times when it can only do so much.)

[Guest amber5885]

Let them take care of you.

 

Seriously if you're feeling depressed 99.9% of the time talking about it helps so talk to them and don't forget to listen because they may well be able to help you lift up out of your funk.

[Carnivorous M.]

My problem is that I'm at the stage where I really have to put in the effort to get into the mental state to talk with them, and we aren't good with dual processing yet. One thing depression does is absolutely kills my ability to 'reach out' and believe in these things, if that makes any sense. Like, I'm about 90% positive my tuppers are real--one of them held head pressure hard enough to nauseate me for like 40 minutes when I asked her to try--but when I'm depressed I'm in this really mechanical state of mind, and I lack the... I don't know, intuitiveness? That's necessary to feel their presence.

 

Edit: Imagine looking at a painting and being able to see the paint and lines and everything, and know in your head that it's a picture of a dog; but your brain isn't tricking you into thinking of it as a real dog you're looking at a picture of, the way it normally does when we assign meaning to pictures. All you can see is a painting of a dog. It's kind of hard to explain, but basically that's what depression does to me, and it's ass.

[kovyxen]

Lord i definitely know what you mean hun, that's the exact same reason i hesitated making a tulpa. I'm still in the early stages of it, but as far as I've heard and reasoned, you don't have to care for them when you're depressed. Just make sure you don't give up on the idea, and that you try again later. When you're depressed and such, just do what you usually do, then when you're better again and you can summon up the energy, talk to your tulpa about your episode. I've done that a few times and so far she's been very encouraging, and isn't upset in the least bit that i couldn't force with her during those times. Just explain to your tulpa about your depression and, since you can give them access to your memories and subconscious, they'll understand and probably try to help. *hugs* i really hope your depression isn't too bad sweetheart, but i know you can definitely take good care of your tulpa.~

[Luminesce]

Well, I guess I can speak on this subject. I need to sleep like 3 hours ago so I'll keep it short.

 

My tulpas have been completely understanding of the times, be it weeks or months, when I couldn't muster the motivation to spend time with them.

My tulpas have been progressively helping make my life better in the several years I've had them.

 

While it is unfortunate that there may be times you "can't be bothered" to spend time with your tulpa(s), not only will they understand but they might actually help. Certainly it's no reason not to make one, especially since they could help with the same problem. Whether they promote lifestyle changes or just keep you company, simply being there to talk to can make a world of difference, and I wholeheartedly suggest it. That being said, you will have to remember from time to time to re-motivate yourself. I suggest visiting the forum often, that's been shown to work on dreamviews (reading about lucid dreaming often led to more lucid dreams), and in my experience visiting the forum daily keeps my motivation to spend time with my tulpas up. Good luck tulpamancing.

[Linkzelda]

Something I learned, like people have already stated, is finding a way to talk yourself into calming down, even with a disposition where you’re so depressed that wanting to be mentally active with acknowledging your tulpa seems unsuitable for that circumstance. Naturally, I think we would want to further our belief in the probability of our tulpa being there as a pillar of strength in our darkest hours, though sometimes showing them how you’re really feeling might create a different reaction.

 

A reaction where you tell them that you’re not feeling well, and that you look forward to acknowledging them after your transient, negative feelings pass through you. This way, they wouldn’t feel liable in feeling resolving your mood is contingent on their existence to make yourself feel as ease. Even with that said, it’s not like you should feel too bad in feeling you’re using your tulpa for that reason alone (since you’re just worried on how you would assess yourself based on certain emotions you probably can’t always control); you could just go with the perspective that they can help out in any way they can while knowing that it’s probably just you that would have to make the conscious effort to come out of that shell of self-pity at times.

 

 

It's like saying "Hey, I got a problem with myself, and I fear I may be neglecting you if I end up absorbing my awareness into these feelings, but just know I'm trying to overcome it to the best of my abilities." In other words, being emotionally mature with yourself to the point where you can reflect on-the-go of what's going on with a calm disposition; even if that calm and collected disposition is transient for the circumstance of relaying that message to them.

 

It’s like that friend that says nice things to you to help you out, but they know words and certain actions of close bond relationship (e.g. hugging) can only go so far; they know that person has to do most of the activity of rising to the challenge of themselves. Maybe in turn, if they end up being depressed, they would inform you that they may want some time for themselves, and maybe go through that experiential learning we may believe they're doing to foster the sense of them trying to understand themselves, and rationalizing things based on those emotive challenges and circumstance; another way for them to develop themselves through what some may see would be unsuitable because it doesn't fit their paradigm of "safe forcing."

[lucidity]

Well, I guess I can speak on this subject. I need to sleep like 3 hours ago so I'll keep it short.

 

My tulpas have been completely understanding of the times, be it weeks or months, when I couldn't muster the motivation to spend time with them.

My tulpas have been progressively helping make my life better in the several years I've had them.

 

While it is unfortunate that there may be times you "can't be bothered" to spend time with your tulpa(s), not only will they understand but they might actually help. Certainly it's no reason not to make one, especially since they could help with the same problem. Whether they promote lifestyle changes or just keep you company, simply being there to talk to can make a world of difference, and I wholeheartedly suggest it. That being said, you will have to remember from time to time to re-motivate yourself. I suggest visiting the forum often, that's been shown to work on dreamviews (reading about lucid dreaming often led to more lucid dreams), and in my experience visiting the forum daily keeps my motivation to spend time with my tulpas up. Good luck tulpamancing.

You've had tulpae for several years? :l mind if I ask a few questions?

[Elvode]

I never saw it as a problem to have depression at the same time as having a tulpa, I've had depression most of my life, when I end up in bed feeling useless and don't want to get up, he's always there to talk to me about it, he's always been very understanding about my situation and always make me feel better about myself, I've never been on medication just because I don't believe it works for real, so no happy pills for me!

A tulpa can be very helpful in many situations during depression, if you struggle to go to school or work then let it communicate with you and support you, when you have depression it's like a huge part of yourself and I think it's only fair to bring your tulpa into it and share what you think and feel, it's important to be honest towards each other.