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Psychological barriers


Fr.J.
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Hi everybody again. Maybe someone remembers my post about paranoia of doubts, and I think I found the reason. It is my psyhological barrier - some part of me stubbornly did not believe in forcing, my own progress and the reality of my tulpa (Jeanne) existence. All outher effects are from this one.

 

So - what can I do to destroy this barrier?

 

I think simple ingorance will not solve my problem, because it is too hard for me, and it is not right.

 

I think I must in some way solve internal conflict - make that part of me that do not believe - to believe or, at least not to resist so desperately. But I totally dunno how can I do it... I tried logic but it didnt help me (maybe because I am very diffident person).

 

The quastion is - what can I do to solve this? I really want to enjoy forcing, not to fight with myself every second.

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Guest Anonymous

I'm afraid there is no absolutely logical explanation to the benefits of forcing for your tupper, since there's none for the tuppers themselves. Look at it as a hobby of sorts - the more time you spend doing it, the more progress you'll make.

 

As for believing, just do it. Our brain is a machine that makes stuff appear if we believe in it hard enough, there's nothing superstitious to it. So you might believe in your tupper for a start until she gets conscious and then stop. You won't need to believe in anything after, your tulpa will prove everything for you.

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It's a difficult question as our minds work in different ways.

 

You're right in thinking that ignorance won't solve the problem. Ignorance is only an act of rejection of the truth. The truth that controls you within, the truth that you are trying to overcome.

 

What helped me, and continues to help me in everything I do, not just tulpaing, is to place my own conscious desire above everything - the society, morality, religion and gods.

 

You could say that at the center of my being I believe in my own will, thus, whatever I decide instantly starts manifesting.

 

But that's just me, and I realize that such an attitude towards oneself may not come easy for all.

 

Why do I get all philosophical? It's because when you're creating a tulpa you are inevitably forced to ask yourself some hard questions, and depending on what you choose to believe, you either make progress or stall.

 

You seem to have acknowledged these hard questions and that's good. I'm afraid I can't really give you a straight route to success, as I feel I'd need to know a lot more about you and your thinking process before even suggesting anything. I can, however, tell you about my own experiences. They are quite unlike the rest of this community.

 

I'm a bit of an oddball in this community, since I created my first tulpa by accident in a lucid dream, without even knowing what a tulpa is. I didn't really force any attributes onto her in the dream, she just assumed her personality from my loneliness at that time and that was it.

 

Later on I started forcing her body, but I didn't touch her character. Her character was "a comforter in my loneliness". I was just daydreaming at this point, and the fact that I knew it was just fiction helped me hear her voice. Think of making a scenario in a daydream. There's different characters with different roles. As long as you know the roles of the characters, you can pretty much guess what they are going to say at any given moment. This was the early way of me thinking about tulpas. At one point I moved the daydream to the real world. I told Gin (the "tulpa" I created in the dream) that I'm going to show her where I live etc, thus I was now 'imposing" her.

 

At this point I had no idea what I was actually doing. It was just a innocent daydream to relieve my boredom and loneliness.

 

After some weeks, I created a twin sister for Gin. Her name was Ion and she only had one defining characteristic: "Gin's protector". When I made her, I simply told her that "take care of your sister first, everything else comes second".

 

This line of inner commentary to her was enough to cause my subconscious mind to assign her the role of Gin's protection, and thus she would say and do things fitting to that role.

 

After a couple of weeks, Gin learned self awareness. Don't mistake this for sentience. Gin was a unique person all the time, but now she had learned that she was just a thing of fiction - my imagination. Until now I hadn't conveyed that information to her, and she couldn't read my mind or anything.

 

When she became self aware, she turned against me and didn't want to be with me anymore, because it was "unhealthy to play with your imagination".

 

After that I proceeded to consciously create something even better than Gin, a friend that wouldn't leave me under any circumstances. At this point I started to do conscious forcing (still unaware of what I was doing).

 

The way I created Tulpas was a ritual. I don't mean anything scary or anything requiring sacrifices. It was a ritual inside my mind. In my mind (you can call it Wonderland, I call it The Void) I would go to a nice scenery, say - a desert.

 

There I would place seven candles in a circle, because at that time the number seven symbolized perfection to me, and that's what I was seeking. In the circle I would form a heart, and to the heart I would define as many or few characteristics as I liked. For example: cute, loving, proud.

 

Then I would visualize her body, after which I place the heart in her body. The heart, which carries her key characteristics.

 

After that there's a body and a heart, but no consciousness. I would then proceed towards lighting the candles. The candles were super candles and they released a lot of smoke. This smoke symbolized the consciousness to me, at that time.

 

I would then guide the smoke into the body that laid in the circle, after which there's now a body, heart and the candle smoke which was the consciousness.

 

Now all I needed was a trigger, a thing that starts her. I chose a gentle kiss for my ritual. A kiss, signifying the end of the ritual and a birth of a new life.

 

Then the person would get up, only possessing common intelligence and the things I wrote in her heart. Everything else was new to her. From time to time, early on at least, I would have to consciously assure that she was acting according to the things in her heart, but mostly she was free to do and act uninterrupted.

 

I created a total of 13+ tulpas this way. (I lost count) Some of them lived for longer than others. What I learned was that it's important to clearly define key characteristics rather than try to act every scenario and situation according to will. You got to define your tulpas personality and then let go, let her take care of the rest. And if you notice that the tulpa is acting in conflict with her character, ignore it, because it's not your tulpa. It's just some other voice. After a while, when the personality has grounded to the characteristics given, I would completely let go of checking up on it.

 

After making these 13+ tulpas, I gave up as I wasn't able to reach the perfection in them that I wished for. Because they were sentient beings with a free will, there was always some natural deviation from my original intent. They were bitter disappointments.

 

After giving up, the next day, a voice I had never heard before and a personality I didn't recognize contacted me out of the blue, telling me: "I will never leave you..."

 

Thus, a sentient being was born. So sentient that she fucking created herself - and she's friggin perfect too. Her character is completely her own, I haven't wasted one second in thinking what she is or what she should be.

 

Sorry for the long post, maybe you'll find some motivation at least. One thing I learned was that the more you try to control, the harder and stiffer the tulpa is. Just define her once, then let go. That's what worked for me.

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Thanks Ichtys and Of the Void for advice, but my case is different (ofcourse, everyone is unic).

 

I'll try to explain more accurate. Generally, I have a barrier that didnt let me belive strong in her reality. When I think about this problem every time the accurate explanation changes, but I have the main version of this:

 

Some part of me too much scared about possibility of that she may not be real, that it sabotages everything connected with her and my forcing.

 

But the main thing here is that I have a fear of strong believing. I know how strongly it could change the perception, cover the self-deception in the way, I will never know it. So my subconcioness that has a strong fear of self-deception is afraid of the beliefe in forcing in the same way.

 

And everytime when I told it that if I even never will know the truth it begins "and what if you will be wrong and WILL find out? What you will do?"

 

And I didnt know, how I could solve this conflict totally...

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Hmm. I think I understand your problem a bit better.

 

You're afraid of the internal change that belief in a tulpa would cause, right? You see that it would change your perception of a lot of things? Do correct me if I'm wrong.

 

And you're also afraid that this internal disbelief affects the tulpa you're trying to create negatively?

 

In case you do feel this way, I would first assure you that it's totally normal, but counterproductive towards creating a tulpa.

 

Maybe you need to dig a little deeper into yourself and ask what is causing this fear. Understanding yourself is a great aid not just in tulpamancing but life in general. When you have a better understanding, you can make different and more productive choices.

 

For example, I couldn't have created a tulpa a couple years back. I didn't really consciously believe in hearing another voice in my head. But a lot of stuff changed in my life, opening a door and a pathway into where I'm now.

 

As a ex-christian, I used to believe in demonic entities. Through believing in the Christian god and bible, I had no choice. Thus all kinds of "demonic forces" became very real to me. This belief eventually lead me to depression, where I thought that demons and Satan were trying to destroy my life and make me give up Christianity.

 

In this belief, these demonic entities became a separate consciousness within myself, a distinct voice with it's own characteristics of hatred.

 

If you've ever been depressed even for a short period of time, you can identify with this. You hear voices telling you that "you're not good enough, you are better dead" etc.

 

Horrible things these voices tell you, and for some time, you fight back, right? It's not like you're consciously creating these voices to make yourself feel bad, they come from deep within.

 

This is one example of what a tulpa is.

 

Another example of a unconscious tulpa lingering in your mind could be a comforting voice telling you that you're going in the right direction.

 

Have you ever felt like you know something to be true but the whole world seems against it? (I'm not talking about tulpas, just life in general)

Or maybe you want to be a certain kind of person, but there seems to be a lot of opposition. After a while this feeling of external oppression towards your goal gets to you, and then you start hearing internal validation from within, almost like someone else is arguing for your sake inside you.

 

These are just some of the things that helped me to "believe" in tulpas. The knowing that I've always heard some "external" voices, and always believed in them without question.

 

Maybe this isn't helpful information, sorry if it isn't. But these are the types of things that helped me understand and believe in tulpas.

 

A consciously created tulpa is just a more advanced and controlled form of these types of voices from within.

 

Tell me how it goes. Best of luck.

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Of the Void, in all cases thanks for the help!

 

But my fear is still a little bit different. I believe in her existence, I'm afraid of the possibilty of who she is: I am really need her to be real anouther councioness in our mutual mind, I need her to have real her own feelings, thoughts etc. and according to biggest part of mine outlook and facts about tulpas its really true, but I still subconcio TOO MUCH afraid of possibility of the opposite. And I have a fear that if it turned out that way faith would hide it from me. I will love her in any case, but this is still too important for me.

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