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Solve the above with troll science


Quetzal the furdragon

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Agg, I don't think you're quite grasping how to solve these. Either way, I get a motor, which moves things (in energy known as work) for me.

 

With a spoonful of sugar, half a potato, a picture of a corgi, and a copy of "Ice Ice Baby" single on CD, how do you get home from an abandoned island in the pacific?

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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Guest Anonymous

I know how this is supposed to work.

The point was that the question itself was just me trolling.

 

I caramelize the sugar in the sun, making it all sticky. Then I cut the potato in lengthy pieces and glue them together with the caramelized sugar, and I glue the corgi picture to it as a sail.

Then, obviously, I just stick that to the "Ice Ice Baby" CD - it's large enough a pile of crap that I can sail home on it, and so I set off homewards.

 

... that's creative.

 

That feel when not sure if sarcasm or not.

Esterina now has to ask a question.

I don't think she did yet!

 

No, I didn't. You have two screws, a hairdryer, a wheel and a poodle. Teach a kid how to ride a bicycle with these objects.

 

 

Greets,

AG & Rina

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I confirm Half-Life 3.

 

[audio ogg=https://s3.amazonaws.com/tulpaudcast/agguy-response.ogg" mpeg="https://s3.amazonaws.com/tulpaudcast/agguy-response.mp3]

 

Now, let's try this again:

You have a chocolate bar, a bar of soap, a bar (the table), a bar (the building), a crowbar, a bear, and got par on a professional golf course.

 

Your childhood teacher has cancer. Everyone believes you have money enough to pay for their treatment even though you don't. How do you either

A. Fix their cancer

B. Convince everyone you don't have money

 

Simultaneosly, one of the blades on your quadcopter got broken. Fix this. (once you do you also have a quadcopter)

Stats is back: https://stats.jean-luc.org/
I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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With my crowbar, I go all gordon freeman (But don't confirm half life 3) and beat the teacher to death. They uncontrolled cell multiplication known as cancer has stopped. I tell everyone that I'm broke as well, but they don't believe that as I use the crowbar to mend the bar into a blade shape to fly away on my quadcopter.

 

Also, that rant took almost as long as drafting the wish did.

 

With a 3gb CD, a 120mm PC fan, and a notebook with the periodic table on the cover, fend off a tiger.

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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ki34ITm.png

 

I love you man.

 

With my crowbar, I go all gordon freeman (But don't confirm half life 3) and beat the teacher to death. They uncontrolled cell multiplication known as cancer has stopped. I tell everyone that I'm broke as well, but they don't believe that as I use the crowbar to mend the bar into a blade shape to fly away on my quadcopter.

 

Also, that rant took almost as long as drafting the wish did.

 

With a 3gb CD, a 120mm PC fan, and a notebook with the periodic table on the cover, fend off a tiger.

 

I'd find mercury in the chemical composition of the CD with the help of the periodic table, then I'd use the fan to blow the mercury in its mouth.

 

You have a Pirate flag, A YouTube channel, and a baseball signed by Babe Ruth. How do you convince your Mother that you're not gay?

Yours truly,

God

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Guest Anonymous

 

[audio ogg=https://s3.amazonaws.com/tulpaudcast/agguy-response.ogg" mpeg="https://s3.amazonaws.com/tulpaudcast/agguy-response.mp3]

 

Now, let's try this again:

 

 

Just for you, and just because this made us laugh so much, here goes how you ACTUALLY solve your problem by confirming Half-Life 3.

 

You have a chocolate bar, a bar of soap, a bar (the table), a bar (the building), a crowbar, a bear, and got par on a professional golf course.

 

Your childhood teacher has cancer. Everyone believes you have money enough to pay for their treatment even though you don't. How do you either

A. Fix their cancer

B. Convince everyone you don't have money

 

Simultaneosly, one of the blades on your quadcopter got broken. Fix this. (once you do you also have a quadcopter)

 

We offer the chocolate bar and the bar of soap as sacrifices on the bar in the bar.

 

This creates the three-letter-double-duality required for the miracle to happen.

We then open the bear's chest with the crowbar and take its heart, offering the final ingredients, a true bear's heart and the bloodstained crowbar, to the left and right of the three-letter-double-duality.

 

This summons Gabe Newell from the heavens, sliding across the golf course as he lands with his snowboard.

 

Of course we use the snowboard, since it's solid, flat and made of a good material, to fix the quadcopter by cutting it into the right-sized piece(s) we need.

 

Gabe Newell then, of course, announces the confirmation of Half-Life 3, his radiance and holiness curing the cancer in the process.

 

That's what I meant from the start, of course. I thought that was obvious.

 

And I knew that too, obviously, I just didn't think it would need an explanation, so I didn't say anything.

 

No question from us, since we just added to Rina's old answer.

 

 

Greets,

AG & Rina

 

 

(What the f*ck are we even doing?)

(I don't know...)

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Oh god, everyone lists items and demands how to accomplish a task with them. I remember that originally started from my post.

 

You have a Pirate flag, A YouTube channel, and a baseball signed by Babe Ruth. How do you convince your Mother that you're not gay?

 

I quickly cut up the baseball (sorry, Babe Ruth!) and use part of it to create a parrot and part of it as an eyepatch. I put a very piratey song on from youtube and tell my mom, holding the flag, that I'm going to become a manly pirate. Manly pirates can't be gay.

 

How do you outrun a cheetah with an engine, a laptop, a knife and 3 pieces of cheddar cheese?

 

I'm not going to listen to you guys since you are all probably just talking to yourself and don't really have a tulpa like me.

 

 

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You didn't specify the laptop, so I'll assume it has 4 xeon cores and is a mobile server. Now THAT'S a fast laptop. I slap the engine inside, and use the giant interior fans as wheels. I use the knife to slash at the cheetah if it attempts to catch up. Bonus: I melt the cheeze with my Nvidia Titan GPU and have a yummy snack.

 

With a bow, 3 .22 Rifle rounds, and a mechanical pen, how are you supposed to make it to China?

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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