Solve the above with troll science

[Quetzal the furdragon]

Self explanatory, be sure to leave another problem so the next person can do it

 

You drove your car into the center of a lake. It is sinking rapidly and filling with water. Wat do?

[[Insert_Name_Here]]

I say "Fuck you logic!" and grow gills. Then I walk out of the car and the water as if I'm walking up stairs. Then I fly away Superman style.

 

You are on dry land, but suddenly have gills and can't breathe. What do you do?

[Quetzal the furdragon]

...that's not really troll science though, y'know.

 

This one though, I spit in my hands continuously and rub it into my gills, now I can breathe

 

You lost your job and are now broke. Wat do?

[[Insert_Name_Here]]

Wow I read the title way wrong.

 

Well, I borrow a dollar from my friend, perform chemical tests to determine what fabric it's made of, then I synthesize it and with some paint I can now make my own money. (At least until the FBI cracks down on me :3)

 

You're stranded in a desert with no signs of civilization around you. All you have is a tv, a directv box and a directv satellite dish. Because you determined that you're going to die here, you decide that you might as well die watching tv. How do you get the electricity to run the tv, directv box and satellite dish?

[AracnidsGrip/Rick]

May8e... I dunno... *sarcastic thinking position* Try to get out 8efore drowning and 8eing the fish's lunch?

~Vriska Aranea Serket Targaryen.

[Brassow]

Easy, I just remove the problem in your comment!

 

You're stuck in a concrete room with nothing but a banana and a murderer is holding a knife at you. How do you get out of it?

[Akinkinit]

1. Since we all evolved from monkeys, we all have part monkey in us.

2. Monkeys have a biological addiction to bananas. This was instilled by nature to prevent banana trees from ever becoming sentient.

3. People who are prone to violence have more monkey in them than those are less prone to violence.

4. Violence is the biological expression of the monkey side when does not fulfill its evolutionary purpose by eating bananas.

5. Therefore, you can just

leave the room as the murderer cannot be a murderer if there is no one to murder.

 

 

How can you create perpetual motion with a magnet, a liter of water, assorted tubing and a heater?

[[Insert_Name_Here]]

I open up the heater and remove a fan and some metal tubes. I weld the tubes and fan together (at the center of the fan) and force the tube end of the setup through a wall far enough so it can lay horizontally and rotate. Then I tape assorted tubes to the blades of the fan. I take more of the tubes and I tape them together to form a long tube, then I cut one tube into two pieces and tape them to the end of the long tube in a such a way to form a three way tube: one end connecting to the long tube, one left open and the other connected to the rest of the tubes all connected to form another long tube. I stand at the open end of the tube, and a friend at the beginning of the long tube holding it just below the fan and I hold the other end above the fan. My friend then pours the water into the tube and I suck through the open end, and when I get a mouthful of water, he pinches the open end shut with the magnet and a finger for more force to ensure it remains shut, and I pinch the tubing below the open end and spit the water into the tubing which goes through the tube and lands on the fan tubes which rotate it. Since this occurs in a perfect world, the water lands in the start of the tube recycling it and we keep doing this forever to keep the fan rotating.

 

It's freezing cold outside even though it's summer and all you have is a block of cheese. How do you keep yourself warm?

 

Edit: forgot to post my own problem lol.

[TulpaFox]

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I open up the heater and remove a fan and some metal tubes. I weld the tubes and fan together (at the center of the fan) and force the tube end of the setup through a wall far enough so it can lay horizontally and rotate. Then I tape assorted tubes to the blades of the fan. I take more of the tubes and I tape them together to form a long tube, then I cut one tube into two pieces and tape them to the end of the long tube in a such a way to form a three way tube: one end connecting to the long tube, one left open and the other connected to the rest of the tubes all connected to form another long tube. I stand at the open end of the tube, and a friend at the beginning of the long tube holding it just below the fan and I hold the other end above the fan. My friend then pours the water into the tube and I suck through the open end, and when I get a mouthful of water, he pinches the open end shut with the magnet and a finger for more force to ensure it remains shut, and I pinch the tubing below the open end and spit the water into the tubing which goes through the tube and lands on the fan tubes which rotate it. Since this occurs in a perfect world, the water lands in the start of the tube recycling it and we keep doing this forever to keep the fan rotating.

 

It's freezing cold outside even though it's summer and all you have is a block of cheese. How do you keep yourself warm?

 

Edit: forgot to post my own problem lol.

 

I eat the cheese way too quickly, then the monumental flatulence seeps into the room and warms in.

 

You want to make your car significantly faster, but all that you have on hand to modify the car with is a dead shark, duct tape, and panties. How do you manage to improve the 0-60 time, and top speed with said materials?

[Brassow]

I use the shark fins to make it look cooler.

A cooler car means I look hotter.

Heat moves molecules faster.

By being hot, my car is now faster. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

You're on the plank of a pirate ship and being forced to jump in. But, in your pocket you have a gameboy and some 5 gum. How do you get out of it?