Solve the above with troll science

[jean-luc]

Do I have to move it? Can I just climb over?

 

Okay fine. Just order ~100 wooden wedges via amazon's 1-hr thing and wedge them all under the snorlax until it rolls over and you can get through.

 

Your parent catches you masturbating to child pornography. How do you clear their memory of the event?

[Paranoid Llama]

Well first thing you have to do is obviously knock them out, to give yourself more time. A nice hard impact should do the trick. Then, set them in a sleeping position on the couch. Hide all evidence of the event and proceed to watch tv by them. When they come to and question you of the incident, act that you never did that, and shame them for thinking that. With all the evidence gone and the realization that they were sleeping on the couch, they'll eventually come to the conclusion that it was all some weird dream.

 

You used the troll physics method of flying with a partner by walking on each other's feet horizontally but now you're stuck on a cloud! All you two have are a paperclip, a coin, some ID, a rope, and a lighter. How do you get down?

[Luminesce]

That's a stupid question. You just turn around and walk back down.

 

How can we increase activity on the forum?

I know this question's old. I want a troll answer.

 

[jean-luc]

Sugar makes people hyper. Hyper is short for hyperactive. Simply pour sugar onto the server's CPU to make the site more active.

 

Your phone is almost out of battery, but you have an important call coming in one hour. Using a paperclip, reciept, color fax/printer, ikea shelf, and a stool how do you make sure you get that call when it comes in?

[Paranoid Llama]

Oh that's an easy one. Using the printer, print two more of the stool's legs and rub them together to make a fire on the receipt. Cut off parts of the shelf to create an electric generator which powers off the heat of the fire. To fuel the fire further, add in the stool. Use the paperclip as a conductor to bring the electricity to the phone. All set!

 

You have ran out of money. Starving, you see a beautiful sandwich in the hands of someone in the park, and they're about to eat it. How do you successfully steal the sandwich without alarming the attention of him, the cops, etc.?

[jean-luc]

You are what you eat.

Pidgeons eat bread.

sandwiches often have leaves in them.

Therefor, I squish some leaves between two pidgeons and quickly swap-out the two.

 

An evil king has just taken over the world. You have a paper clip (I mean, standard issue really), your pet rat, your other pet rat, a game controller, a quadcopter, and an ifone. How do you instate yourself as the new ruler of the world?

[SoulslikeSpiderlegs]

Use the ifone to post on the internet that I am the new ruler of the world. If it's on the internet, it must be true!!

 

You wish to acquire money. You have no job, nor are you capable of getting a job. Your sole option is to rob a bank with nothing but a blanket, a number of twigs and leaves, a string, a cat, your phone, and a jigsaw puzzle. How do you do it?

[AnFer]

Go to the bank, put the cat down before the eyes of guards and give the cat the puzzle. The cat will be so cute playing with the pieces that the guard will not be able to take you down. Now take the money

 

How do you open box closed by a intergalactic virtual reality pad lock with only a mp3?

[Paranoid Llama]

MP3s play music, so you blast the music so loud that a large amount of sound energy disperses into the air, then you condense it with your hands in kamehameha formation and proceed to blast the pad lock open.

 

You are about to enter a black hole. With only a rabbit, piece of paper, and a bionic arm, how do you survive the trip?

[jean-luc]

Simple: Put the rabbit held by the arm nearer to the black hole so that it gathers more gravity. Then simply fling it behind you (away from the black hole) to use its gravity (which is stronger since its closer to you) to pull you away. Repeat until you're out of the gravity well. Fold the paper into a paper airplane to send for help.

 

You have a very paranoid llama. Using only a paper clip, a camera, and an antenna, calm the llama.